Love is Strong
by harry101
Summary: Second fanfic attempt. Not related to first story. Made some grammer changes to first chapters. Any comments or suggestions are appreciated! Disclaimer:Don't own show. Don't own characters. Getting no money. Just for fun!
1. Default Chapter

'_God, why didn't I just give it to her before she left?'_ That's the question running through eighteen-year-old Jonny Quest's head. It's 11:30 on a cold Saturday evening in early December, and he's now spending it alone just lying on his bed staring at the contents of a soft velvet box cupped protectively in the palm of his hand. A cheesy late-night movie is playing on the muted television at the foot of his bed, and the flickering blue glow coming from the screen is the only light in the room. Lying in the quiet, Jonny is finding himself to be unusually tired for this time of night. Under normal circumstances, he never goes to bed before midnight during the week, and rarely hits the pillow before two or three a.m. on weekends.

Tonight is different, however. He's definitely very tired tonight, and it's more than just physical exhaustion. He's tired of having meaningless conversations, and of feeling all jumbled up inside. He's just tired of everything. He came up to his room about an hour ago thinking that a good night of sleep might make him feel better, but deep down he knows that sleep isn't going to help all. Hell, it hasn't helped for the last four months. No matter, he can't scrounge up the tiniest bit of desire to move from his current position, and he can't derail his current train of thought either, although his desire to do just that is immeasurable.

So he just stays there and stares at the beautiful sterling silver heart-shaped locket in the box. Without even thinking, he opens the locket up for about the thousandth time and looks at the picture inside. It's of his mother and father on their one-year anniversary of dating. At least that's what the letter had said. His mom is only eighteen in this picture. He thinks it's kinda weird to see her at the same age he's at now. His father, eleven years her senior, is almost thirty in the picture and already an accomplished and world-renown scientist. His mother, he knew, would soon follow in his father's footsteps. Together, they would establish Quest Enterprises and accomplish so much more in their short time as husband and wife.

Over the past five months Jonny has spent hours staring at this picture trying to recreate moments from his parents' past in his head, such as how his father proposed or how his mother told his father she was pregnant with him. His mother died before she could tell Jonny any of these stories, and his father and he had never discussed his mother, not once. Sure his father had held him as he threw screaming tantrums for his mother to come back after she had been killed. His father was, for the most part, there in every way a father should be for his son. However, neither of them could ever brooch the subject of his mother.

The pain is still too near and too raw even thirteen years later. Jonny can see that it sometimes still hurts his father to look at him, even though he tries so hard to hide it. Jonny knows that he looks a lot like his mother, and apparently he acts like her too. At least his father made a comment once to make him believe so. It was four years ago on the anniversary of her death when it happened. Jonny had spent that day like he always had, and so did his father. Jonny spent the entire day pretending like it was any other day, and Race, Hadji, and Jessie would pretend like it was any other day too. When Jonny was younger, all three of them had tried to get him to talk about his mother's death on at least one occasion, and Jessie more than once. However, he couldn't bring himself to talk about it with any of them, and, since he couldn't talk about it with his father either, he would basically become really angry or really withdrawn at the mention of his mom for the first couple of years after her death.

After that, he never really had to worry about it because the topic of his mother just became taboo, which is really sad, but probably for the best. Jonny still can't stand to think about the day, and the way, that his mother died, or how he had just stood there and watched it all happen. He still has sweat-drenching, wake-up-in-the-middle- of-the-night-with-a-start, mind-numbingly realistic nightmares about that day. He's sure that if he tries to talk about it he'll suffer a total mental break down. So he always spends the anniversary of her death doing anything and everything, from laser tag to marathon Questworld sessions, to keep from having a significant amount of time to think about her. He's always been so grateful that Race and his friends have helped him to do this. It hurts too much to do anything else. Especially, since he lost her again in his mind and heart when he was only fourteen. None of his family knows about that though.

Jonny's father always spends the entire anniversary of his mother's death working in the lab. At least Jonny assumes that he's working. He doesn't know for sure because he never disturbs his father on that day, no one does. His dad wakes up before dawn and goes to bed well after midnight every year on that day. In fact, Jonny can't remember every even seeing a glimpse of his father on the anniversary of her death. Part of him hates his father for this, the other part understands completely and is even a little bit grateful. Jonny suspects that if he were ever to meet his father's eyes on that day he wouldn't be able to control his emotions. He suspects that his father feels the same way. Losing control of his emotions and getting upset in front of others is something that Jonny just doesn't do. He's not sure if he's inherited this trait from his father or learned it from Race, but it's something he adopted a long time ago. No one has ever seen him cry since the day his mother died, no one. The only person that has even seen him truly upset about something in the past thirteen years is Jessie. He can't help but want to open up to her. She puts him at ease in a way that nobody else can. She makes everything easier for him even when she's making things harder on him, if that makes any sense at all. But still, he's never been able to open up to her about his mother, even though he's wanted to at times.

Jonny and his father spent the ninth anniversary of his mother's death the same way they had spent every other, except for one major difference. At around two in the morning on that day, Jonny was laying wide awake in his bed when he heard his door open and then close. He quickly closed his eyes and began to control his breathing, like Hadji had taught him, so it appeared as if he was asleep. He assumed that it was Race coming to check on him, which he'd do every now and then, but especially on this day. Jonny felt the covers being pulled up to under his chin, and then heard what sounded like his visitor sitting down on the chair beside his bed instead of leaving the room like Jonny had expected.

After a few minutes, Jonny heard soft crying. It was at this point that he realized it was his father, and not Race, sitting beside him. Jonny couldn't bear to let his father know that he was awake, so he just laid there motionless and listening. After about what he thinks was an hour, Jonny heard his father get to his feet and approach his bed once more. He felt his father wipe the hair off his forehead, and then heard him whisper in a choked voice, "God, you are so much like your mother." Another minute went by before he heard his door close. He remembers opening his eyes and being stunned for a few moments, and then he remembers crying harder and longer then he ever had before. Strangely enough, it comforts him to know that he's like his mother. He just wishes that he knew why his father thought so. He wishes he knew more about his parents' lives overall.

He knows all the basic facts of course. His parents were married shortly after the picture in the locket was taken, he assumes to the great displeasure of his Grandpa Doug because, for as long as Jonny can remember, his father and grandfather have always hated each other. He's never been sure, however, if that hate was always present, or if it had developed as a result of his mother's untimely death. He knows that he was born about a year later, when his mother was only nineteen. Jonny has tried to image himself as a father in a year's time, but can't. He suspects, however, that his mother was probably wise beyond her years. He can't remember ever feeling unloved around her. In fact, he remembers quite the opposite. His mother was his best friend. His mother was fun. She sang to him, read to him, and made him feel like her special little man. He doesn't have any whole memories of her, only little flashes in his mind like snapshots. He can still see her face perfectly in his mind, but every time he lets that happen he feels his heart fill up with love before painfully breaking with the knowledge that he'll never see her again.

He'll never have the opportunity to truly know his mother. Jonny's thought before that maybe he's lucky in a way. Most kids grow up and become disillusioned with the fact that their parents are only human. He will never suffer through this. To him, his mother will always be this perfect vision of love. Maybe he's lucky. Yeah right. He's never really believed that. It's just an irrational thought that crosses his mind every time he gets all worked up. And that's definitely what's happening tonight.

It's not like he feels this way all the time or anything. Naturally, he was extremely upset for a while after she died, and he gets a little depressed on the obvious days like the anniversary of her death, her birthday, and mother's day. For the most part, however, he considers himself a truly happy and lucky person. He's in love with having fun, going on adventures, and living every moment to the fullest. He loves his family, and can't wait to have one of his own someday. He wants to raise his children the way he's been raised, and he wants to spend the rest of his life loving a woman as deeply and as passionately as his father still loves his mother. Hell, he already does. He's just scared to death of telling her. If he's being honest with himself, Jonny knows that she's the real root of his depressed mood tonight. This mood always starts with her, but God how he loves her anyway.

He loves Jessie Bannon more than anything else in the world. He can't even begin to explain the way that she makes him feel. He only knows that she makes him feel pretty much every emotion there is all at once. He's tried so hard not to love her because Race will probably kill him if he ever finds out, because he doesn't think he could live if he ever had her and then lost he and, most importantly, because she could have any guy she wants. Why in the hell would she ever settle for him? Jonny has had so many fantasies about telling her how he feels, and even more fantasies about showing her how he feels. But when reality comes crashing back, he always sees her laughing at him, or telling him she thinks of him like a brother. If he tells her how he feels and she doesn't feel the same, he'll lose the best friend he's ever had. There have been moments where he's felt like he saw love in her eyes reflecting towards him, and he always lets that hope drive him crazy until coming to the conclusion that he probably just imagined the whole thing.

He misses her so much right now. She left for Boston a little over three months ago to attend Harvard University. He was so proud of her when she got the acceptance letter because he knew it was the beginning of her dreams coming true. This would be a great beginning for her to follow in his father's shoes, but the selfish part of him didn't care about her dreams at all. That part only wanted to keep her close forever. _'At least she's not going across the country,'_ he remembers thinking as he gave her a congratulatory hug after she ran into his arms clutching that acceptance letter. _'Boston's not so far away, especially when you have your own private jet.'_ Yet, it hadn't worked out that way at all. Between her busy schedule and his family's missions, he hasn't seen her since that chilly August day when she left to start a new life without him. He hasn't met any of her college friends, or been able to evaluate any of the guys she's been dating. It kills him to think of her with someone else.

Jessie didn't date much in high school. Jonny likes to fantasize it was because she really loved only him, but he knew the truth was more likely that she didn't like bringing anyone home to be grilled by her father. Away at school she doesn't have to worry about his overprotective ways. He talks to her every day of course. Actually, they talk several times a day, on the phone or through e-mail. He still knows what's going on in her life, and she in his. Their just not doing it together anymore and he hates that. He guiltily takes solace when she says that she didn't really have fun on a date, and it puts him on top of the world whenever she tells him that she misses him. Sitting alone in his room tonight, he wants so badly to call her. But it's only midnight, and he knows that she won't be back from her date for at least another hour.

That's more directly what brought on his mood this evening. Jess hadn't even been the one to tell him about the date, which he finds confusing because that has never happened before, at least as far as he knows. He had to hear it from Estella. He thought Jess must be really excited about it if she called to tell her mom, so why hadn't she told him. It didn't help that his own date hadn't gone so well tonight either. Mary was beautiful, and even interesting, but she wasn't Jess. She was just another girl in a long list of girls he's been dating since Jess left.

Before she left, they spent most weekends together. But now that she's gone, he doesn't want to be sitting home like a loser obsessing over what she's doing. He figures it's better to be obsessing about what she's doing while out with other girls. At least that way no one would know he's a loser, especially Jess. He doesn't want her to think he's sitting home alone when she's out having fun, but he's always careful to never let her think he had a better time on a date then she did. He knows this is childish, but he doesn't know what else to do either. He wants to be available without being too available, just in case he has a chance with her.

Before a couple of months ago, Jonny never understood how cheating boyfriends or people in casual relationships could say that a kissing or having sex was meaningless. How could it not mean anything? He understands perfectly now, however. When he's with other girls, it does mean nothing to him. A thoughtful glance from Jessie means ten times more to him than an hour-long make-out session in the back of his car with Mary, or Linda, or whoever.

While getting ready earlier tonight for his date with Mary, Jonny had heard the phone ringing. He wishes now that he hadn't answered. When he picked up, he was surprised to hear Estella's voice on the other end of the line. She was calling to talk to his father about funding some archeological dig, but when Jonny informed her that his Dad and Race were in Washington meeting with the President for the next few days she settled on talking with him for a few minutes. He spent the next five minutes answering her standard questions, "How's school?" "What colleges are you applying to?" "Is there anyone special in your life right now?" ect. He answered all of her questions politely, but her final one caught him a little by surprise.

"So how do you think things are going between Jordan and Jessie?" she had asked him. "I know they're going out tonight, but I also know she tells you a hell of a lot more than she tells me, so I was hoping you could give me a clue."

He thinks that he probably went a full minute before telling her that she should really be asking Jessie all this instead of him. Estella said that he was probably right, and then went on to tell him how much she hoped things would work out between Jessie and Jordan.

Apparently Jordan, Jordan Matthews, was extremely everything. Extremely intelligent, extremely good-looking, extremely rich, and extremely interested in the woman Jonny loved. Jordan is the son of Estella's best friend. She said that Jessie and Jordan used to play together when they were little, which made Jonny extremely jealous and nervous. He can't stop wondering why Jessie has never mentioned him before.

Jordan will be graduating this May, and then starting at Harvard Medical when Jessie will be starting her sophomore year. Estella really hopes that this will give Jordan and Jessie a chance to "get to know each other better," to quote her exact words. She even mentioned that Jordan's mom had invited Jessie and Estella to spend Christmas break on a skiing trip in the Hamptons with the Matthews family. She also said that Jordan had mentioned he'd like Jessie to join him backpacking across Europe this summer. Jonny couldn't even imagine spending Christmas or this summer without Jessie, especially after being separated from her for so long. He couldn't wait to see her again, and up until Estella had mentioned the Hamptons and Europe, Jonny was sure that he would have her back for at least a month once she finished her first semester finals. A few hours ago, he thought he was only going to have to wait two more weeks, and he was determined to tell her how he felt before she left again. Now that Mr. Perfect has entered the picture, however, he's not so sure anymore.

As their conversation continued Jonny could feel his throat closing up, and he wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible. At the first opportunity he got, Jonny apologized to Estella telling her that he had to go get ready for his date. When Jonny hung up the phone, the last thing he wanted to do tonight was go out with Mary. The first thing he wanted to do was beat the shit out of Jordan Matthews.

He even went so far as to dial the first six digits of Mary's number to cancel their date, but decided that going out would be better than sitting at home going crazing trying to figure out why Jess had never mentioned this guy._ 'Was it because she really liked him? Did she not want her father to find out about him and start asking questions? What?_' All of these thoughts were giving him a headache, so he decided to go out and have a very distracted time. He couldn't even pretend to care what Mary was saying, so he ended the date early to her dismay. And now he's sitting in his room willing the clock to move faster so he can call Jess, even though he doesn't know what he's going to say to her when he does.

All of this has led him to pull out and open the locket again, which starts him down a train of thought about his mother that never leaves him in the best place. And so he lies on his bed mentally kicking himself yet again for not giving it to Jess before she left. If he had, maybe things would be different right now. Maybe she wouldn't be out with Jordan. Maybe she would be sitting in her dorm room missing him like he was missing her.


	2. Birthday Blues

It was two days shy of his eighteenth birthday, a little over four months ago, when Jonny received a very unexpected package in the mail. The return address was from a bank in Orlando, Florida and _Happy Birthday Jonny_ was scrolled above his name and address on the brown envelope. His training made him automatically suspicious...Random package and unfamiliar handwriting. He remembers feeling for the bubble-protected contents inside the envelope and concluding that there was just a small box inside...nothing to worry about. As always, his curiosity won out over everything else. His father was in his lab, Race was reading the paper, and Jessie and Hadji were engrossed in a game of chess. They were all busy, so Jonny took the opportunity to sneak up to his room and open the package.

He remembers sitting in the middle of his bed and feeling a little nervous as he used his pocketknife to slice open the package. He cautiously looked inside and confirmed that it was just a small box. So he turned the envelope over and dumped the contents onto his lap. Not only did a tiny velvet box fall out, but also another smaller envelope that clearly had a letter inside. The first thing Jenny did was open the small box to find a silver heart-shaped necklace inside. He couldn't think of why someone would send him this, so he immediately tore open the other envelope to find out who it was from. When Jonny read the first line of the letter, it slipped through his hands out of pure shock. _'Could I really have just read what I thought I did?'_ he remembers asking himself. He recalls repeating the line several times in his head, while picturing it as he had seen it on the paper:

**_Hi my little man._**

As he said these words again and again in his head, Jonny realized that he was hearing his mother's voice. She was the only one that had ever called him little man. _'But how could this be from her?'_ In his confusion, he looked over at the velvet box again and noticed that the necklace had a clasp. He quickly reached for it and opened it up to find the old picture of his mother and father inside. It was at that moment that Jessie came barging through his door to challenge him to a game in Questworld. Her loud entrance brought him out of his state of shock, and he quickly threw a pillow over the letter and necklace on his bed. As soon as she saw his face, he knew she could tell something was up, but he covered. He agreed quickly to the game and then ushered his very suspicious best friend out of the room.

Jonny had never lost more pathetically to Jessie in Questworld than he did on that day, and he had never cared less about it. When he didn't assault her with a barrage of excuses as to why she'd been able to beat him, Jessie cornered him with a worried look in her eyes before they could get back to the main house.

"What's wrong?" he remembers her asking him softly as she grabbed his hand and massaged the back of it with her thumb. Her tender touch almost made him tell her everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Besides, he didn't really know all the facts anyway. All he wanted to do at that particular moment was run up to his room and read that letter to figure out what was going on.

"Nothing's wrong, Ace" he tried to assure her in a voice that was a little too shaky to be convincing. "I just didn't get much sleep last night" It was an outright lie and they both knew it, but she thankfully didn't push him. He thought he saw a hurt look in her eyes, but was sure he imagined it when she smiled at him a second later and said, "I'm always here for you Jonny."

"I know Jess, me too," was all he could get out before hearing Mrs. Evans calling them for dinner.

Jonny doesn't think he's ever eaten dinner so fast before in his entire life. When his father questioned him about it, he lied and said he needed to get back up to his room to finish a history paper due the next day. He avoided Jess' curious stares for the rest of the meal, and then excused himself.

After leaving the table, he dashed up the stairs, closed and locked his door, and then grabbed the letter and the locket from under his pillow and finally began to read slowly. He doesn't doubt for a second that he's read the letter more than a hundred times since that night. Hell, he doesn't even need to read it anymore. He can recite it from memory if necessary, but he still reads it anyway, finding comfort in the handwriting...her handwriting.

Sitting on his bed tonight, four months later, he finds himself reading it again:

**_Hi my little man. Now don't you dare scoff because I don't care that you're eighteen. You will always and forever be my little man. If you're reading this today, Happy Birthday Baby, and I'm so sorry that I'm not there to share this day with you. I know that if you're reading this something must have happened to me, and I'm so sorry for that. I know I promised that I'd never leave you, but I will always be in your heart and in your soul. Hey, just look in the mirror because I'm in your eyes sweetheart. At least that's what your father swears. Do me a favor and tell him that I love him, and tell him yourself too because God knows that he loves you. You know, he cried the day that you were born. Not nearly as much as me of course, but he did. I will never be able to thank your father enough for making me your mother. The day you were born will always be the happiest of my life. You and your dad are the single greatest joys I have ever experienced, and I love you both so much. Take care of each other._**

_**  
I'm sure you've noticed the locket by now, and are wondering why in the heck I 'm giving this to you. If I've taught you nothing else, I hope that I've taught you that nothing is more important or powerful than a real and true love. Not everyone in this world is lucky enough to experience a love like that. I was with your father, and I pray to God that you find someone someday that makes you feel the way your father makes me feel. The picture on the inside of the locket is of me and your father on our one- year anniversary of dating. We went to Disney world, which explains the Goofy T-shirts. Your father gave this locket to me on our wedding day. He snuck into the bride's room before the ceremony started because he wanted me to wear it as I walked down the aisle. I wasn't worried about any silly superstitions about seeing him before the wedding because Lord knows our love was stronger than anything else in the world, especially on that day. **_

**_When he gave it to me, he told me that he loved me more than anything, and that our family would be his life for the rest of his life. We sealed our love that day, and we've never let anyone come in between us. This locket is a symbol of that love. It's a symbol of true love sweetheart, so do me a favor and give it to your true love. Put a picture of the two of you on the other side of this locket, put it around her neck, and never ever let her go. Love her and fight for her, and I know she'll be the luckiest woman in the world. I love you more than words can express little man.  
I love you, Mom.  
_**  
Jonny can't help the tearstains that mark this letter. It makes him so happy and so sad to have it all at once. If he didn't know it before he received this letter, he certainly knew after that Jessie is his true love no matter how much he's tried to fight it. He's had a crush on her since he was thirteen, but the events of the last few months were what made him realize that it's so much more, this letter, her leaving, and now Jordan Matthews.

The day after receiving his mother's package, Jonny managed to avoid his family. However, lying awake in his bed that night he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it again the next day since that was his actual birthday. He doesn't know why his mom's package came two days before. Maybe the bank mixed up the days, or maybe his mom wanted to give him some time to absorb her message so he wouldn't be too upset on his actual birthday. He likes to think the latter is true.

On his birthday, Jonny put on a brave face and actually really enjoyed the day. Race took him sky diving to congratulate him on becoming a man, his father bought him a new car, Hadji created a new Questworld game for him, and Jess got him tickets to see his favorite band, The Rolling Stones. All in all it was a pretty great day. He decided to look upon his mother's letter as an amazing gift, and he planned on taking her advice as soon as he got up the courage to do so.

After his party was finished and everything was cleaned up, Jonny found himself sitting by the cliffs overlooking the ocean outside the main house. He was just thinking about how he was gonna take his mom's advice when two arms snaked around his neck in quick hug, and then a warm body dropped down beside him.

"So how's your birthday been treating you, Hotshot?" She questioned him with a smile on her face. The wind was blowing her hair all over the place, and he couldn't help but think how beautiful Jessie really was. He remembers that every time he looked at Jess over the month before she left his emotions got so mixed up. He loved her. She was leaving. He loved her. Did she feel the same way? All of that went through his head every time their eyes met.

"Not bad, not bad," he finally answered, nodding his head up and down.

"Glad to hear it," she replied while trying to tuck her hair behind her ears with no real success. He swears he could watch her do little things like that all day with rapt fascination.

"There's only one problem though," he piped up with a sly grin.

"Oh, and what's that?" she asked coyly turning towards him.

"Well," he stopped for a second and then sang softly, "I can't ...get... no... satisfaction."

"Aww, poor baby didn't get any on his birthday?" she questioned jokingly.

"I didn't say that now," his grin getting wider. "I just said that I wasn't satisfied," he finished and turned his body more towards her.

"Are you flirting with me Jonny Quest?" she asked demurely.

"Maybe," he replied still smiling, and then looked back out at the ocean when her gaze became too much for him to handle right then.

"Wow," she said in an awe-inspired voice. "I had no idea you were such a ladies man, J."

"Yeah well, ya know," and he sniffed like he was cooler than James Dean. "I don't like to brag or anything."

He heard her giggling softly at his words and turned to see that she was now leaning back on her elbows and gazing up at the sky. He couldn't help but notice her beautiful body and the way that it was responding to the slightly chilly August breeze. She was only wearing exercise shorts and a tiny tank top, and clearly no bra.

When he finally reached her face again, he saw that her eyes had returned to him. He was sure that a slightly guilty look must have crossed his face, but he thinks he hide it quickly. He saw her shiver, and automatically asked if she wanted to go back inside. She told him that she wasn't cold, so they remained in the same position staring at each other, and then the stars, and then back at each other for a few slightly awkward moments.

He felt like they needed a tension breaker, so the next time he caught her eye, he gave her a devilish smirk and with complete faux sincerity declared, "You want me."

That caused her to press herself back up into a sitting position and laugh out loud. Jonny's not sure if she laughed like that because she thought the idea was absurd or because he had just shocked her by saying it.

Once she composed herself, she brought her face closer to his. He saw this as if it was happening in slow motion, and when there lips were only inches apart, she smiled and whispered, "You wish."

He waned to retort with a witty comment, but couldn't get anything to come out of his open mouth. They were once again just staring at each other, but this time she was the first to look away. As they sat there side by side, entertaining their own thoughts, Jonny was trying to figure out what just happened, and whether or not this was a good time to tell her how he felt.

The next thing he knew, he felt her playfully kick his leg and then stand up. He had lost his nerve, so he stood up to go back to the house with her. As they walked back, she looked up at him. He was about a full head taller than her. "So, you liked my present then?" she asked

"Are you kidding me? I loved it. I don't know how it's possible that I didn't know they were coming to town though," he said.

"Well," Jess started conspiratorially, "I went to great lengths to keep you in the dark. I wanted you to be surprised."

"I was definitely surprised. I really love it Jess, thank you," he said whole-heartedly. "It's just that," he had begun, but she cut him off quickly.

"What?" she asked sounding concerned.

"Well," he continued, "It's just that the concert is on the night before you leave for school. You know, I kinda wanted to hang out with you then," he said looking down. He hated to think about her leaving.

"Oh, so you weren't planning on taking me with you then?" she asked with a smile in her voice.

Jonny's head shot up at this immediately with an uncontrollable smile. "Well under normal circumstances of course I would, but I didn't think that's how you'd want to spend your last night at home. Plus your dad probably wouldn't be too happy about it."

"Yeah," she kind of sighed. "He probably won't be, but he'll get over it. Besides, there's no one I'd rather spend my last night in Rockport with than you, Hotshot."


	3. Her Last Night

Jonny remembers that any bad mood he was in over the next few weeks was quickly thwarted by the thought that Jessie wanted to spend her last night at home with him. He was right about one thing though, Race wasn't very happy about not getting to spend his Ponchita's entire last night with her. Thankfully, however, he got over it when she promised to spend the entire twenty-four hours prior to the concert with him. Jonny spent most of his free time leading up to the concert trying to plan how he was going to tell Jessie that he wanted them to become more than friends. He also went back and forth as to whether or not it was too soon to give her his mother's locket. He thought it'd be a really romantic gesture, but he also didn't want to come on too strong.

On the day of the concert, Jonny remembers feeling a mixture of excitement, fear and dread. He was excited that he was gonna tell Jess how he felt, scared to death that she'd laugh at him, and dreading the fact that he would have to say goodbye to her the following day either way. The concert started at eight, so Jonny suggested that they leave at five to grab a bite to eat first. He knew as they got into his car that Jess probably expected him to take her to Joe's for one last burger, but he surprised her with reservations to an exclusive French restaurant that he knew she always wanted to try.

She was definitely surprised. The look that crossed her face when she realized where he had brought her was almost enough to make Jonny die a happy man in that moment. She was concerned that she was underdressed, but Jonny assured her not to worry about a thing. He had arranged for a private table out on the patio. Nobody else would be around, so it didn't really matter how they were dressed. He'll never forget the way she looked that night either. She was wearing tight black jeans and a light green tank top that brought out her eyes and accentuated her figure. One side of her hair was clipped back by a sliver beret, but small strands of hair stubbornly fell forward to frame her face anyway.

She was so beautiful, and he remembers how hard it was for him not to just tell her right there. Before he left the house though, he had promised himself that he'd stick to the plan and tell her at the end of the night. So he just steeled himself against her smiling face and focused on making sure she had a good time.

"May I bring you something to drink?" the tuxedo-clad waiter had asked them in a thick French accent, interrupting Jonny's train of thought.

"Could you just bring us a pitcher of water while we look at our menus please," Jonny had requested. The waiter nodded and told them he would only be a moment as he walked away with a questioning look on his face.

Jonny laughed when the man was out of hearing distance and commented, "I guess he's not used to a teenaged clientele."

"I'd say not" Jess replied. "So tell me how you managed all this. I mean this is the most exclusive restaurant in town, not to mention the fact that we have are own private little area here."

"I have my ways Jess, I have my ways."

"Oh please, don't pretend like you're a playboy with me. Explain, Hotshot."

"Ok, so I wanted tonight to be special and I knew you wanted to come here, so I thought I'd just take a chance and see if they had a cancelled reservation or something. They must have caller ID because when I called they automatically thought I was my father, and I didn't exactly rush to correct them so they were pretty accommodating."

She was laughing softly at this point. "So that waiter was expecting to serve the famous Dr. Quest and probably get a really big tip tonight, but all he got was a couple of kids instead."

"Yeah pretty much," he continued. "And I figured it's not like they could really turn us away at the door either. I mean if they're so eager for my father's business, it probably wouldn't be a good move to embarrass his son right?"

"You're pretty smooth Quest. I'm impressed," she said and couldn't seem to stop smiling.

"Save the compliments for later Ace because the night's not over yet," he said in a mysterious tone.

"Hey, isn't tonight supposed to be about your birthday?" she asked.

"Well I decided to make it about both of us," he replied. Again, she gave him a look that would make him die happy. "I just hope the waiter doesn't spit in my food or anything," he finished, and she burst out laughing as the waiter approached the table with their water.

"So what will you both be having tonight, sir?" the waiter asked politely.

Dinner was great, but they had to rush to get to the concert in time. Jess didn't get him good seats. She got him great seats. They were so close he could see the sweat on Mick Jagger's face. When the Stones had come out after the opening acts, everyone stood up and tried to get closer. By an hour into the performance Jonny and Jessie weren't even close to where they had started.

Jonny didn't really care though. He loved the Stones, but he couldn't take his eyes off Jess all night. She stood slightly in front of him, and was dancing to every song. He remembers thinking that she was definitely getting a workout, but she looked real good doing it. The problem was that Jonny noticed several other guys noticing her, as well. Every time he sees someone looking at her, his first instinct is to beat the shit out of the guy. He can't help it. He rarely does let things come to physical blows, of course, because he knows Jess hates being treated like a damsel in distress. However, there has been more than one occasion where he's let a guy have it anyway. She always forgives him...eventually.

At the concert their stares seemed to bother him even more than normal. So with every bit of confidence he could muster, Jonny took a step to close the small gap between him and Jess and wrapped his arm around her waist from behind. She froze for a moment at his touch, but then quickly responded by grabbing hold of the arm he had around her waist and throwing her other arm behind her and around his neck. Now, Jonny wasn't paying attention to the concert at all.

They had danced closely and even provocatively many times before that night (mostly just to push Race's buttons), but this was different. Jonny didn't know if it was just him, but it felt more intimate. They were in almost constant physical contact as she swayed her body from side to side, and occasionally up and down his. Every few moments, he would get even closer to lean down and whisper something in her ear, and then he would feel her laugh go through her entire body.

After about another hour of this Jonny was finding it really hard to control himself, so he was really glad to hear Mick Jagger scream, "Thank you, and goodnight." The cold air hitting his face was exactly what he needed as they walked out of the concert venue. It brought him back to some sense of reality. When he looked over at Jess, he saw that she was shivering a little so he threw his arm over her shoulders to help keep her warm as they walked back to his car. When they got in and he noticed the clock on the radio, however, Jonny's heart began to beat a little faster. It was 11:30. He only had an hour and a half.

"So where to now, Hotshot," he heard her break into his thoughts.

"It's a surprise," he smiled while starting up the car. He only hoped she couldn't tell how nervous he really felt.

He was taking her to the small stretch of beach behind the promenade in downtown Rockport. When they were little, they used to ride their bikes there everyday in the summer. They'd grab an ice cream cone and then hang out on the beach for hours. It was great because no one ever really came down that far on the beach, so it was like their own private island. They would think up different adventures to have each day. Once Questworld was introduced to them, however, the trips to their special spot were few and far between until they stopped going all together. They hadn't been there in almost five years. Jonny was hoping that bringing her back to this spot would be the beginning of a new and deeper phase to their relationship. By the time they got close to the promenade, Jessie turned in her seat with a satisfied grin on her face.

"I know where you're taking me Jonny," she declared.

He just smiled, but didn't respond. All he could think about was that he was minutes away from either the best or worst moment of his life. After he parked, Jessie jumped out of the car and made a b-line towards their spot. He smiled as he saw her running, and swears that he felt twelve again as he started to chase after her. When he caught up with her, she was sitting with her knees to her chest on the rocky area that protrudes slightly out into the ocean.

He quickly climbed up and sat down on the smooth flat rock beside her. Looking at her, he wasn't really sure what she was thinking. She was just staring out at the ocean, and would close her eyes and take a deep breath every few seconds. He just sat there for a few minutes watching her, and listening to the water crash against the rocks.

"Are you tired?" he questioned, noting her behavior.

"No," she answered. "I'm just trying to soak this place up, ya know. I can't believe I have to leave tomorrow." She took another deep breath before continuing. "I mean I know I'm not leaving forever or anything. It's just that Rockport is home, and I don't care what anybody tells me, Boston will never compare."

As she was talking Jonny moved a little closer and she turned towards him so that they were now face to face on the rock. She was a little to his left, but scooted up so that there knees where touching.

"Thank you for bringing me here," she said quietly, almost sadly.

"No problem," he replied. He knew that he should have said more, but he was too preoccupied with spotting that perfect moment to tell her that he loved her. Jonny saw that she had lowered her head to her knees, so he reached his hand out to caress the back of her head. The last thing he wanted to do that night was make her sad.

"I thought brining you here would be kind of poetic, ya know," he tried to say in a light tone.

"Yeah," she said in a muffled voice and then lifted her head with a sigh. That was when he noticed the tears running down her face. He didn't know what to do for a second. He'd seen her cry before, but it was a very rare occurrence. He hated it when she cried. He noticed that she was looking pretty much everywhere except at him as she tried to calm down. She's never liked to meet his eyes while crying. He doesn't know why for sure, but suspects it's because she doesn't want him to see her as weak.

His moment of inaction didn't last long, however. He moved the hand that was behind her head around to hold her face, and pushed it tenderly so that she was looking at him. This made her cry harder. It wasn't an all- consuming sob or anything. In fact, she wasn't making much noise at all. The tears were just pouring silently down her face with no signs of stopping. He tried to brush them all away as they came, using both of his hands, but he couldn't seem to keep up with her. Eventually, he just settled for holding her head in his hands while she let it all out.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said softly. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think coming here would upset you. We can go, come on let's just go."

"No," she said quietly. "That's the last thing I want to do. I'm glad we came here. It's not this place that's upsetting me, it's just that I...," but she stopped mid sentence and began crying again, this time into his chest.

"What is it?" he gently tried to prod her while stroking her hair. "You can tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that."

"I know," she said into his shirt.

"What's the problem? Are you nervous about school? If you are, you shouldn't be. You are gonna blow all of your peers and professors away. I have no doubt about that. Harvard's not gonna know what hit it. I bet you'll even end up breaking some of the academic records my father set there."

That got her to laugh slightly. "I don't think anyone on the planet could break those records."

"You can," he said with complete sincerity and she pulled herself a little tighter against him. "If you've taught me nothing else over the last thirteen years it's that there is no limit to what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. Any person who ever underestimates you is a damn fool in my book."

"Thanks J," she eventually responded. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"Hey," he said while pushing her back a little so he could see her face. "It's my job remember." He finally saw that smile he loved return to her face. They were quiet for a few moments after that, just listening to the waves. He knew this was the moment. He didn't even hesitate as he reached into his pocket for that velvet box, and then she caught him off guard.

"I'm going to miss you like crazy, Jonny." He couldn't respond for a moment because he was so focused on the contents in his hand. When he opened his mouth to respond, however, she placed a finger over it to silence him. Then she grabbed the hand in his pocket plus the one that was around her and held them both against her heart. He could feel it beating quickly through her shirt. She took a deep breath and then began again.

"I just want you to know that..," but she never finished the sentence. The moment that followed has replayed in Jonny's mind and has been analyzed about a thousand times since it happened. It was like time slowed down. One moment she was talking, and the next her breath had just caught in her throat and they were staring at each other in a way that best friends shouldn't.

He remembers thinking, _'Ok, it's now or never._' He brought his hand back up to caress the side of her face, and began moving his lips closer to hers. She was also moving closer, and he could feel her breath against his lips. They both hesitated for a second, but then kept going until a loud crashing noise caused them to break apart.

"Will you be careful with that thing," a furious female voice could be heard screaming.

"I'd like to see you try and carry it," an equally angry man replied. As Jessie turned more towards the noise, Jonny took a quick glance at his watch. It was 12:45.

"Shut up," the girl said, which was followed quickly by the man's, "No, you shut up."

"God, do those two ever do anything but fight?" Jessie said with a slightly nervous giggle. Jonny knew that the question was rhetorical.

When she glanced back at him he sighed and said sheepishly, "They're early."

"What's going on?" she asked with a curious stare.

Before he got the chance to answer, however, a bouncing blonde came running up to them and began talking at the speed of light.

"So is this a private party or what?" she started. "God, Mark is such an idiot. Look at him trying to carry that thing. I told him to just keep it in the car. So, of course, he decided to do the opposite. He never listens to me. I don't know why I put up with him. All he ever does is drive me crazy. You know..."

Jonny quickly interjected when she took a small breath. "Carrie, breathe why don't you." he said in an obviously annoyed voice. "You guys are early," he had said and then announced, "I'm gonna go help Mark."

As he jumped down off the rocks to help Mark with the cooler he was carrying, Jonny thought he heard Carrie ask Jess what his problem was. He didn't want to stick around to hear Jess' answer.


	4. Hard Decisions

"Dude, you do know your early right?" were the first words out of Jonny's mouth as he ran up to help Mark with the large cooler he was carrying.

"Yeah I know, but you know Carrie," he explained. "She'll have a conniption fit if she's late for anything. Besides we figured we could get everything set up a little before the rest of the crew showed up."

"Yeah, thanks a lot," Jonny replied in a tone that was clearly not very thankful and quickly caught Mark's attention.

"Hey Romeo, did we interrupt something I hope?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

Mark's question caught Jonny off guard for a moment, but he hastily recovered and then found himself a little angry.

"No jerk off, and I don't appreciate the implication. Don't talk about her like that."

"Sorry, you know I was really just kidding, right?"

At this point Jonny was frustrated, and misdirecting his emotions. Not that it ever took much for him to defend Jess' name. Any inappropriate comment made about her, true or false, meant jokingly or not, really got to Jonny bad and he dealt with it accordingly. He knew Mark didn't mean anything by what was said, but he also wanted to hit something real bad in that moment. Good Jonny won out, however, and he apologized.

"I'm sorry Mark. I didn't mean to get angry, it's just that it's her last night and I want everything to go smoothly. It could be awhile before we're all together again."

"It's cool," Mark accepted. "Let's just have a good time."

"Sounds good to me," Jonny replied as he bent down to help Mark with the cooler.

"What the hell is in here?" Jonny asked as he felt the weight in his upper arms.

"We only brought the good stuff Romeo," Mark started with a devilish grin. "And a lot of it."

"Oh Jesus Christ," Jonny said in a mock disapproving tone. "I am not driving all your drunken asses home tonight, so watch yourselves."

"Hey now, we won't let that happen. You just worry about Jess, or Mary, or Linda, or Sarah, or one of the other girls that will be fawning all over you like always."

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever man. You're just jealous."

"Hell yeah I'm jealous, but don't tell Carrie that."

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. I do value my life," and they both laughed as they made their way closer to Jess and Carrie.

It kinda flatters Jonny that his nickname is Romeo to most at Rockport High, but it mostly confuses him since he can't think of anything he's ever done to merit the name. Sure plenty of girls flirt with him, and he knows he can probably have every one of them. The only problem is that he doesn't want any of them, and he never has. The phrase _'You only want what you can't have'_ has always particularly annoyed Jonny. It's ironic that even the most confident person can be completely unconfident when faced with getting or losing what they really want the most.

He wishes that Jess thought he was Romeoesque because he knows how much she loves Shakespeare. Mostly, however, she just rolls her eyes and gives him a knowing smile when she hears someone call him that. People at school assume that Jonny has slept with many women and that he can have anyone he wants. He tried a lot when the rumors first started to refute them all as lies, but no one believed him so he eventually decided to just ignore it all together. He just makes sure that the person who matters the most knows the truth. Funny thing is though, Jonny always feels the need to tell her about the rumors that are untrue, but she always seems to already know. Jonny's certainly no Romeo and Jess sees that, but she seems to like him anyway so he figures he can't be that bad.

As Jonny and Mark approached the girls, they seemed to be having an intense conversation. Unfortunately, Jonny couldn't hear anything being said before the girls noticed their arrival.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing Jonny was here to help you with that thing Mark," Carrie started right in on him as they dropped the cooler by the rocks.

"Yeah, I was pretty lucky. Imagine him being here since he planned the whole thing. Shocker of the century." Mark yelled back in a sarcastic tone.

As they continued to fight per normal, Jonny made his way toward Jessie and saw that she had a big grin on her face.

"What's that smile for?" he asked

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe I won't miss everything about Rockport," she said as she gestured towards their fighting friends.

Jonny smiled too. "Yeah, sometimes it's hard to believe they haven't killed each other yet."

"Hey, just give us time," Carrie piped into their conversation.

"Oh, so sorry," Jonny said with a grin. "Have we called a cease fire for the evening?"

"In honor of Jess, yes we have." Carrie stated. "Now quick give me a beer so I can keep that promise."

Mark obliged his girlfriend at the speed of light, and the four of them talked and joked around until the rest of their friends showed up to get the party started.

Once everyone had arrived, they all just played music, talked, and laughed about old times. For the first hour, Jonny was hanging out with the guys and trying to avoid Mary's drunken advances. He wanted to hang out with Jess, yet didn't want to interrupt her goodbye with her girlfriends. He wasn't drinking at all because he was driving, but also because he wanted to remain clear headed to talk to Jess.

Unfortunately, he noticed about two hours into the party that Jess wasn't so clear headed. It was around 3:00 in the morning when he looked over at her for about the hundredth time surrounded by her friends and saw that she was having a little trouble standing. Eventually, she gave up and just sat down. He couldn't really understand why she was so affected since she was still nursing her first beer, and had had a large dinner at the restaurant earlier. As he walked over to make sure she was ok, however, he noticed the shot glass in her other hand and immediately looked at Carrie to see the bottle of Irish Whiskey she was holding. He figured then that Jess must have just been sipping her beer to chase the Whiskey shots she was doing. What he didn't understand was why she was getting drunk in the first place. She rarely drinks at all. He was also worried that a drunk Jess would ruin his plans for the rest of the night.

As she saw him approaching, Jess tried to get back on her feet and lost her balance. Reacting out of instinct, Jonny caught her and pulled her straight up before she could hit the ground. As she was coming up, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him until her mouth was at his ear.

"You always catch me," she whispered and nuzzle his neck a little.

"I always will," he replied and then rubbed her back.

"You promise?" she asked, sounding like a little girl.

"Of course I promise," Jonny answered in that soothing way you do to calm someone that is drunk and emotional, but he meant every word.

"Then I know it's true because you never break your promises to me. You're the only one that never has, ya know. Please don't start now because I'm leaving. Don't leave me, ok."

He knew this was drunken talk, but clearly she was afraid about something, and was willing to open up now that she had a few drinks in her. When she looked like she was gonna start crying again, that signaled the end of the party for Jonny. He just wanted to get her home at that point and figure out what was really upsetting her.

"Jess, where is all this coming from?" he questioned softly so that none of their friends could hear. "Look at me." He demanded with quiet ferocity, and then continued in the same tone once she did. "I will never ever leave you. Absolutely nothing in this world could make me, ok?"

He remembers that his words seemed to calm her down a little, but he wanted to quickly say goodbye to their friends and head home so that they could talk some more. Jonny grabbed her hand and led her around to say good night to everyone, and then held her close around the waist so that she wouldn't fall on the way back to his car.

On the drive home, Jess had herself curled up in the passenger's seat. Jonny was convinced that she had fallen asleep until he heard her soft cries. Those sounds tore at his heart like nothing else because he didn't know how to help her, and he couldn't hold her and drive at the same time. He had to settle for taking one hand off the wheel to take her hand and massage it with his.

"Please don't cry, Jess. Just tell me what's wrong and I promise to make it better if I can," he said gently.

She didn't respond, she just turned herself around and curled up at his side to cry into his chest while he drove. He just stroked her hair and told her to let it all out.

Years of living in the Maine Compound had taught Jonny how to get around IRIS without waking his father or Race, but it wasn't as easy with a drunken best friend clinging to his side. They eventually made their way to Jess' room, albeit very slowly. Considering that she was barely conscious as they walked through the door, Jonny had resolved himself to the fact that he was gonna have to wait to tell her how he felt. In that moment he decided that there would be no more plans. He was just gonna tell her when it felt right.

He took her to her bathroom to throw up a few times, helped her brush her teeth, brushed her hair back into a pony tail, helped her wash her face, then waited outside the door while she went to the bathroom and thanked God that she didn't fall off the toilet. When she came out, he took off her shoes, took out her earrings, and then finally helped her to bed and covered her up. He got onto the bed with her for a few moments because he wanted to make sure that she fell asleep on her stomach. As he lay there staring up at the ceiling, and then over at her, and then back again, he couldn't help but feel sincerely depressed. Not only had this night not gone as planned, but she was leaving him in a few hours.

As his train of thought began to lead him down a road he did not want to travel, he decided it was time to get up and go to his own room. As he made his way off Jess' bed, however, he felt her grabbing at his shirt and was surprised to see her eyes wide open when he looked down.

"How are you still awake?" he asked slowly as he laid back down on her bed and faced her with his head propped up in one hand while his other went to brush the hair out of her eyes.

"Please don't go. I want you to stay." She said quietly and thickly. He could tell even talking was an effort for her at this point.

His eyes got a little wide at her request, and he couldn't exactly talk for a second so they ended up just staring at each other for a few moments like they had earlier in the evening.

"Are you ok?" he finally choked out.

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered.

"Liar," he accused softly.

She smiled at this and then turned onto her back to rub her hands over her face. She wasn't really buzzing anymore, just really uncomfortable. He could tell by the way she kept opening and closing her eyes that her head was spinning in about five different directions. "I feel like mush," she said.

"I think your gonna feel worse in the morning, J."

"Please don't remind me," she begged and then moved around trying to find the most comfortable position. She eventually settled back on her stomach. "I think lying down is the problem," she declared after a few moments, and then made a move to get up off her bed. She only made it to her knees, however, and then fell onto her back so that they were now head to toe. "Stop laughing at me," she said in a slightly whiny voice.

"I'm not laughing," Jonny defended. "I'm just enjoying the show. I didn't know you were a funny drunk Jess."

"Shut up," she said with a small laugh as she made her way back towards him crawling on the bed. He couldn't help but laugh.

"You look like a blind dog searching for food right now," he chuckled.

"Hey, you're not much better yourself, Hotshot," she started. "I seem to remember a night a few months ago when our very positions were quite switched, miser. I mean miter. Mifffer." She couldn't get what she wanted to say out, and then just broke out into a fit a giggles.

"Do you mean mister, Jess?"

"That is exactly what I meant thank you very much," she said as she got back up on her knees again to wave her finger in Jonny's face. Mid-wave, however, she lost her balance a little and ended up on top of Jonny's chest. He was forced onto his back again from the unexpected weight and thought she would roll off onto her stomach again, but she seemed content to stay right where she was.

"This is comfortable," she said as she snuggled up closer on him and mostly into the fetal position. "I'm just gonna stay here ok?"

"Yeah, that's fine," he barely remembers answering. He wasn't about to argue. He was perfectly content to hold her close for a few hours. After all, it could be his only chance to do so.

He focused for a few moments on her steady breathing, but couldn't let her fall asleep without knowing what had upset her earlier in the night.

"Hey, Jess," he whispered.

"MMM," was her only reply.

"You ready to tell me why you got upset earlier. Because you know I'm hardly the type to just let that go right."

He could tell that she was now more awake again because her breathing had become more rapid. She was either upset or nervous. He just rubbed her back and tried keep her calm. "Please just tell me," he almost begged.

"I guess I'm just a little scared," she said quietly.

"Of what?"

"Losing something I love."

"What are you afraid of losing," he asked with fear and anticipation both clear in his voice. He quickly recovered, "I mean I think your only going to gain by going to Harvard, I don't think you'll lose anything."

"I'm gonna lose us," she cried as she got up on her knees and sat back carefully. "We're gonna lose us," she sobbed with even more tears coming down now. "Do you even care?" she whispered in an unbelievably hurt voice.

He guesses that in her vulnerable state she took his lack of immediate response to mean that he didn't care. In truth, he was still getting over the shock of her referring to them as "us."

Once he realized how upset she was getting, however, he was up like a flash with her face in his hands. She tried to pull away briefly, but he wouldn't let her. "Jess, Jess please look at me," he pleaded.

"Tell me what you're talking about, Jess. Just explain to me ok."

She looked a little angry, but complied, obviously very tired at that point. "Jonny," she whispered and looked into his eyes. "For as long as I can remember it's been us, it's been me and you against our parents, against our enemies, against the world, just against everything. And now I'm going through this huge life change without you, and your gonna be going through things without me. I know I can handle it all by myself. I'm not afraid that I can't do it by myself because there's not a doubt in my mind that I can. I can do it all without you. I'm just afraid because I don't wanna do it without you"

Jonny could not breath. He knew she was drunk, but this had to be coming from some place real he thought. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to interrupt her.

"It's just seemed to me," she continued with a deep sigh and she looked away, "that you just don't care as much about all this as me. So I guess that just makes me a little sad because I thought we were best friends."

"We are," he said quickly. "Why would you think I don't feel the same way you do?"

"It just seems like you haven't been very sad over the last month. Not that I ever want you to be sad, it's just that you've been in a really great mood even and I just thought you might be a little more upset to see me go. I know your hardly lacking for female attention, it's just that...I don't even know what I mean."

Jonny didn't talk immediately because he wanted to collect his thoughts and make sure to say the right thing. He wanted to tell her that the only reason he was happy over the last month was because he thought she wanted to spend her last night with him, and that he was gonna tell her he loved her, give her the locket, and then she would be his. He couldn't think how to get that out though, so he decided to just play it by ear.

"Jessie," he started slowly and waited until she was looking at him. "I can't even begin to explain how...how much you mean...how much I'm gonna miss you. Do you think that this whole month hasn't been hard on me too? It's been one of the hardest of my life, especially this last week. Every time we did something that we've done a hundred times before, I couldn't help but think when we'd get the chance to do it again. I didn't want you worrying about me being sad and I didn't want you to be sad, so I just put on a front. You know, you can usually see right through my fronts," he paused for a second and they both smiled. "I guess you were too busy putting up a front of your own to notice mine, huh?"

"I think we've both been doing that lately," she replied.

"I think your right."

They both remained quiet for a while absorbed in their own thoughts, and Jonny could tell that she was really tired now.

"We have to be up in three hours, ya know?" he reminded her.

"Yes I know, and I'm gonna be a wreck" she complained.

He laughed a little and stroked the side of her face. He didn't want her going to sleep thinking he didn't care. "Please tell me you know how important you are to me, Jess."

She smiled genuinely, and told him that she knew. He could tell then that they were ok, so he suggested trying to get some sleep.

"Ok," she agreed. "I want to give you something first though."

His curiosity was piqued and he watched as she tried to make it to the drawer beside her bed.

"Do you want me to get it?" he asked

"Yeah, that would be good," she said thankfully and lied back down. "It's right in my top drawer."

Jonny reached in quickly and grabbed a medium-sized brown box. "What is this?" he asked with a smile.

"Just open it silly."

Jonny didn't' need to be told twice. He hastily opened the box like a little kid on Christmas day. Inside, he found two black Motorola cell phones. He pulled them out with a confused look on his face. They already had phones. "What are these for?"

"They're for me and you," she explained. "They're prepaid for a ridiculous amount of minutes, and I can easily add more if we run out. Although, I don't think even we can talk that much," she smiled. "Just because I'm gonna be in another state doesn't mean I still don't want to know everything that's going on with, and I need to keep you up to date. I just don't want things to change too much, ya know. And I figure this way we can talk whenever we want and how ever long we want without having to worry about our fathers flipping over phone bills. I think e-mail is good and all, but a little impersonal don't you?"

"Jess?"

"I mean, don't worry or anything. It's not like I'm gonna call you every five minutes," she continued.

"Jess?" he tried again

"I just think I may need to hear a friendly voice every now and then."

"Jess?" he said a little louder this time and finally caught her attention.

"Yeah," she replied, and actually looked kinda nervous.

"Thank you, I love it. And what makes you think I wouldn't want to talk to you every five minutes, we practically do now." he said smiling.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I just wouldn't want to drive you crazy."

"Well, if it hasn't happened yet," and he let the statement hang with a grin on his face.

"I'd hit you with a pillow right now if I had any semblance of balance in me. So you don't think it's too much?"

"Not at all," he replied. "I actually had a similar idea."

"You did?"

"Yeah, and don't look so surprised. Great minds and all," he said with a small laugh.

"So why didn't you go through with it?" she asked

"Honest answer?" he asked.

"Always," was her response.

"I didn't want you to think I was smothering you. I know college is a time to meet knew friends and everything. I just didn't want to hold you back. I mean if you're on the phone every five minutes that could make it hard to meet people."

"Yeah, I guess your right," she said. "Know what though?"

"What?"

"New friends would be great and everything, but I have all the friends I need. I want you to know that no new friend is gonna take your place."

"Well I am one of a kind," he replied with confidence.

"That you are," she said through laughter.

"You're pretty special yourself, Ace," he told her after the laughs had stopped.

"Thanks," was all she said, and then she leaned in to give him a great big hug. They held on to each other for at least five minutes sitting upright in Jess' bed until she finally pulled back a little to look into Jonny's eyes.

He could see that she was totally gone at this point. Her eyes were glazed over and she could barely keep them open. He wondered if she would even remember the night when she woke up in the morning.

"Jonny?" she asked quietly

"Yeah, Jess?"

"We never got to that kiss tonight?"

Jonny thought that he must have fallen asleep for a moment and dreamed what she just said, but clearly he hadn't. He couldn't believe that this moment was finally here. He hadn't misinterpreted her actions earlier. She did want to kiss him then, just like he did her. And she wanted to kiss him now, just like he did her. As they moved closer together, however, Jonny came to the realization that he didn't want their first kiss to be a drunken experience, and one that she might not even remember. So with every ounce of self-control that he ever had in him, Jonny took his mouth away from hers and placed a gentle lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Come here," he then whispered to her, and pulled her down against his chest. They spent a few moments trying to get comfortable, but once they did, Jess was out like a light and Jonny was left wondering if he was gonna regret not kissing her for the rest of his life.

Four months later, sitting in his room alone, he certainly does. '_Only ten more minutes before I can call her'_, he thought_. 'Great,'_ his mind told him_. 'That leaves you ten more minutes to think too, and we both know that's plenty of time for you to cause some major damage.'_


	5. I Can't Say Goodbye

Jonny recalls that when he woke up with Jess in his arms on the day she was leaving, his emotions went from zero to sixty in about four seconds. He had a brief few moments with the wonderful revelation that he had just awaken for the first time with the woman he loved safe in his arms. Then, like a ton of bricks crashing through a glass window, he remembered that she was leaving in just a few hours. He wanted more than anything to hold onto her for a little while longer, but after glancing at the clock he knew it was time to get up. The last thing he wanted was for Race to come barging in to find him with Jess.

"Hey," he called out softly and rubbed her back to try and bring her out of a deep sleep. "Time to wake up, Ace. If you don't want your dad barging in here to drag you out of bed you better get up now."

"Pfff," was all he got out of her, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"Jessie, seriously, you need to get up. Your dad wants to take off in two hours so you're not late for your orientation."

The word 'orientation' seemed to snap Jess out her sleepy state.

"Oh my God," she said as she flew up into a sitting position on the bed. The sudden movement proved too much for her, however, and she immediately placed her head in her hands and began rubbing her temples. "Oh my God," she repeated and then laid back down again.

Jonny knew that she deserved everything she was feeling, but he still felt bad for her. "How much whiskey did you down last night, Jess?"

"I have no idea," she replied. "Clearly it was way too much though."

"I'm sorry that I didn't stop you sooner, but I didn't even see the shot glass in your hand until you were already on the ground. Why did you get so drunk anyway?" he asked.

About a minute passed where she didn't do anything except stare out the window. Jonny thought that she wasn't even gonna answer him, but she eventually just blurted out that she didn't know why she did it. She didn't really seem in the mood to talk at that moment, so Jonny decided to keep the conversation light. The last thing he wanted was for them to have a heavy conversation, and then for her to leave confused by him or, even worse, mad at him.

"So tell me," he began and smiled down at her. "Do you even remember last night?"

"Everything before the whiskey, yes. After is pretty fuzzy, but I'm still wearing the same clothes from last night so I guess I didn't do anything too crazy, right?"

"Well," he said in a serious voice. "You did try to take advantage of me numerous times last night, but I was a gentleman." She smiled as he told her this. "Although I must say that I feel a little violated."

"Shut up," she said through laughter. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much. And don't tell lies about me Quest"

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized. "Ok, the truth is that I tried every move in the book last night, but you just weren't having any of it." She laughed and nodded her head in approval as best she could at his comment.

"Well, that sounds a little closer to the truth anyway," she said and gave him that smile he loves so much.

"You gonna be ok?" he asked

"Yeah, but I'm not looking forward to the flight. I hope my dad doesn't feel the need to go fast or anything."

"Well, at least the plane is already packed so you don't have to do any lifting this morning," he added.

"Yeah, but I'm not exactly looking forward to unpacking. You are so lucky that your meeting was switched to today so you don't have to help." She tried to say this with a smile, but her voice was too sad to make it convincing.

"Believe it or not I'd rather be going with you, even though unpacking duties would follow," he replied. He really did too. He wanted to see where she would be living for the next year, and what her roommate was like. He hated being left completely in the dark.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "I wish you were coming too. I don't wanna say goodbye."

"Me either," he said and things got a little quiet.

"Oh," she piped up. "I have a present for you."

"The phone?" he interrupted. "You gave it to me last night last," he added quickly to clear up her confusion.

"Oh, that's right. I do remember that now," she said and a look of dawning came to her face "And some other things too. God, I'm sorry I got so emotional last night," she apologized.

"It's not a problem," he told her. "I mean there's no need to hide how you're really feeling from me. I want to know these things. I can't make you feel better if I don't."

She gave him a huge smile for that. "Thanks, J. See this is why we need the phones."

"I know," he started. "I mean I don't think I'll be able to get through my day if you don't call me a jerk twelve times and laugh at my stupid jokes. Now, I don't really have to worry about it."

"I'll make every effort so you don't have too," she said smiling at him, and then she sighed deeply. "I have to get ready to go."

"I know," he said sadly as he got up off her bed. "I'm gonna get out of your hair. I'll see you downstairs."

"Ok," was her only reply and then she called out his name. Jonny stopped and turned around in the middle of her room, but before he was completely facing her, she was wrapped in his arms.

"Thanks for everything last night, Jonny," she whispered in his ear.

He pulled her a little closer before answering. "Anytime Jess, anytime." Then he let go, gave her a little wink, and walked out of the room leaving his heart inside.

Before he could blink, he was on the tarmac outside the Compound waiting to say goodbye to Jess. He watched as she hugged Hadji and his father, and then tried unsuccessfully to slow her down as she came towards him. He remembers that he tried to smile, but he knows it must have looked fake as hell because it sure felt that way.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, Hotshot," she said without looking him in the eye.

"Yeah, doesn't feel right does it," he said.

"Not even a little bit," she replied. He could tell that she was fighting hard not to well up so he quickly pulled her into a tight hug. He knew that she wouldn't want anyone to see her crying.

"Call me when you get settled," he said.

"Yeah, don't worry. I think I'll be calling you a lot," she said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he told her. "Besides I'd be worried if you didn't, and probably lonely too."

"I don't think your gonna be lonely, J. I think the girls in Rockport have been counting the days till my departure. I'm public enemy number one to most girls around here in case you haven't noticed." He thought he heard her voice waver. "They all think I'm like personally blocking their way to you or something," she said with a small laugh to try and cover up her upset tone.

He felt the laugh go through her body and had to take a second to breath. "God, whose gonna save me from all the crazies now?" he asked. She didn't answer, just held him closer.

"We gotta go, Ponchita," Race yelled from a few feet away.

Jonny thinks he may have hated Race for a nanosecond, but he just decided to ignore him for a few more moments and pulled her even closer if that was possible. He opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say. He knew that he wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to scream it, but he didn't know what to let actually come out of his mouth. He thought she seemed like she wanted to say something too, but she never did.

Before he knew it, she let go and ran towards the plane. He can't remember what was harder, watching her leave and board the plane, or the fact that she didn't look back once. It felt to him like she was letting go of more than just his embrace.

Jonny thinks now that he was probably just overreacting because his emotions were in a tailspin on that morning. He talks to Jess numerous times a day. They try to keep things as normal as possible, and, except for the fact that she's not physically with him anymore, he feels like they've done a pretty good job of it. He just misses the little things so much. Like the way she would try to fix his unruly hair at the breakfast table before school, or the way she would jump on his back to avoid walking up the hill to the lighthouse where Questworld is located. He misses the hugs, the kisses on the cheek, and God how he misses the way she helps him handle all of the crazy girls that cross his path. He just misses her.

When she left at the end of August, Jonny actually thought that he would be seeing her again in just a few days for the Labor Day weekend. Once again, he spent hours over the week leading to the holiday thinking about what he was going to say to her, and fantasizing about how he'd like her to react. Unfortunately, a few hours before they were supposed to take off for Boston, Race and his father received a phone call from Argentina regarding business. They had to make an emergency flight down there to handle a mix up with local authorities that was interfering with an important government project. Since the family was unable to visit Jess as planned and Dr. Quest didn't want his son in Argentina, Jonny practically begged his father to let him fly out commercial to Boston, but the idea never took flight.

He was extremely disappointed and he could tell that Jess was too, but he eventually decided that dwelling on it would just drive him crazy. He was gonna focus on making her fall break special, which came at the end of October. Of course something came up to ruin this too. She ended up not making it home because she had a huge group project to present right after the break in her Psychology class. All of her teammates had decided to stay at school to work on it so she had to stay, as well. She wanted Jonny to fly up, but he couldn't because he had school and then a football game that weekend. He can't help but wonder now if Jordan had been there with her that weekend.

Next came the Thanksgiving holiday, Jonny's favorite. By this time he was absolutely bursting to see her, and he knew that Race was too, so he didn't think anything could stand in their way. He was so wrong, however. A few days prior to the holiday, Jonny, Hadji, Dr. Quest, and Race were in England to attend the wedding of the prime minister's son. Originally, Jess had planned to skip a few classes and go with them. They were all just gonna have a mini vacation and celebrate overseas, but, when Jess decided that she couldn't miss the classes, plans changed a little.

After the wedding, the guys were gonna go straight to Boston to be with Jess. Jonny was upset that he wouldn't get as much time with her, but still so happy that he'd be seeing her after so long. The terrorists that made bomb threats at all of England's airports didn't care how Jonny was feeling though. No flights were allowed in or out of every English airport for over a week. Jonny was beyond angry. Not only were his plans to see Jess screwed up for a third time in as many months, he also had his favorite holiday ruined.

After thinking all of this through again, Jonny is trying to convince himself that there is no way she'll go away with Jordan and his family for Christmas. If she were planning on going to the Hamptons for Christmas break he knows she would have told him. Then again, she's never mentioned Jordan so maybe she's not telling him as much as she used to. Even if she hadn't told him though, he can't fathom a reason as to why she wouldn't have told Race yet if she was going. Race is expecting his baby girl to come home in two weeks, and to stay for at least a month. He would kill her if she didn't, and Race has given no indication to Jonny that he doesn't expect Jess to come home. The only problem is that Estella sounded pretty convinced earlier tonight that she and Jess were going to the Hamptons.

'_God,' _he thinks to himself. _'Stop driving yourself crazy trying to figure this out. Just call and ask her.'_

Jonny carefully put his mother's letter back into its envelope, and then put it in the drawer beside his bed along with the locket. He decided that he couldn't wait any longer. He didn't care if he interrupted Jess' date. In fact, he could be doing himself a favor by possibly interrupting something he didn't want happening anyway. As he reached for the tiny black phone that he always keeps at his waist, he felt it begin to vibrate.

"Hello," he answered a little out of breath

"Hey," she replied. "Did I interrupt anything?"

"No, not at all," he assured her. "You just scared me, I was about to call you."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Why does something have to be wrong?" he asked defensively.

"It doesn't," she answered back defensively, as well. "It's just that I said I would call you when I got back tonight, so I figured there must be a reason for you to call sooner."

"I guess I just forgot about that," he said a little unfocused.

"You don't sound right," she said a little concerned.

'_Of course I don't sound right,'_ he thought to himself. _'Your falling in love with someone else, your thousands of miles away, and there's nothing I can do about it.'_

Jonny had to stop himself and try to concentrate for a minute. The last thing he wanted to do was get mad at her. He didn't want to give her a reason not to come home. He couldn't help himself though. He wasn't mad at her. He was mad at himself for losing her and he shouldn't be taking it out on her. He just has to calm down and get some facts straight.

"You still there, J? You're scaring me," she said with her voice sounding more worried.

"I'm here. I'm fine," he said. "How are you?"

"I'm ok," she answered slowly. "So how bout you tell me what's going on. Did something happen with Mary tonight?" she asked.

He can't help but notice the clear distain in her voice whenever she mentions Mary's name. When he's being completely honest with himself, he knows that the only reason he goes out with Mary is to make Jess jealous. Or at least the childish side of him hopes that it makes her jealous. Jess never really likes any of the girls that Jonny dates, but Mary seems to elicit the biggest reaction. He's never been quite sure if it's a jealous reaction though.

"Mary's fine," he answered, offering no more details and then quickly adding in an accusatory tone, "So how's Jordan?"

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He knew by the small incoherent sound she made on the other end of the line that he had surprised her with the question. There had to be a full minute of silence before she said anything. He can only speculate as to what she was thinking in that minute.

"How...," she started, and then, "He's fine."

Another moment of silence went by. Jonny could hear his heart thundering in his ears waiting for her to say more, but she didn't.

"Were you ever gonna tell me about him, Jess?" He knew that he sounded like a jealous boyfriend even though he had no right to.

"I didn't say anything because there's nothing to tell. We've only gone on a few dates, not that it's any of your business by the way," she said, starting to sound angry.

He deserved it, but that comment still stung like nothing else.

"Whatever," was his only reply. He didn't really know how to redirect this conversation. He knew it could only get worse.

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked. Her temper was beginning to get the better of her. "I don't understand why you are so angry. I told you that I was going out. Why does it matter who I went with? He's just some guy, Jonny."

"Some guy you've known since before you even met me," he retorted angrily, his brain no longer involved in this conversation. He was working off of pure emotion, primarily fear and frustration. "Some guy that you're either planning on, or at least considering, spending Christmas break with and maybe more. I don't think 'just some guy' really sums things up, Jess. You know your family hasn't seen you in four months, but I guess you don't care. I can't believe your going to..."

"Where the hell do you get off," she loudly interrupted his tirade. "You have no idea what you're talking about, and you don't get to decide what I do. I'm..."

"Well, that would be because you haven't told me anything, Jess" he cut her off. He couldn't believe that she didn't just come right out and say that going to the Hamptons or Europe was a completely ridiculous notion. Deep down he didn't really believe she would consider going, but now he thinks that he was very wrong

This revelation, coupled with an already emotional evening, suddenly made Jonny feel like he could break down at any second. He needed to get off the phone.

"Jonny," she tried to start.

"Just whatever, ok?" he said very quickly.

"What the hell is 'whatever' supposed to mean, huh?" She was as angry as he's ever heard her.

"Whatever, as in I don't give a fuck anymore Jess," he said this slow and loud so that she wouldn't be able to detect the tremble in his, and then he hung up before she could reply.

She tried calling back numerous times, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything except stare at the phone. He didn't handle that at all like he should have. He was wrong, and he knows it. He just wants her to come home.

'_God I want to go home,'_ was the only thing on Jessie's mind, as she lay curled up in a ball on her dorm room bed crying. Normally, it takes a lot more than a fight with Jonny to make her cry, but his abrupt change in attitude really caught her off guard and upset her. He sounded so angry and hurt, and it appears as if she's the cause for it. She hates it when they're angry at each other, but she can't stand the thought that he's sad because of her.

'_What the hell is going on?' _she asks herself for the hundredth time. That's all she wants to know, but he won't pick up the phone. So she just lies there and cries, as she continues to hit redial. She is so confused right now, and she needs to talk to Jonny. Hell, she was confused before she called him, and now he's gone and made things worse. He was supposed to make things better.

For the last two hours, she's been sitting on her bed thinking about everything. School, Jordan, her mom, her dad, but mostly she's been thinking about Jonny. The boy that confuses her like no other, and here he goes doing it again.


	6. Contemplation

"Hey, Jonny. Listen, just give me a call back ok," Jessie started in a shaky voice. "Please, please call back. I think we just had a huge miscommunication. Of course I'm coming home for Christmas. I'll wait up for you to call, ok. So just call." Jessie was so thrown by what just happened. One minute she was sitting on her bed convinced, after two hours of agonizing over what to do, that Jonny would be able to help her figure everything out. That just talking to him would remove all the doubts from her mind, but things didn't happen like she had planned.

She was supposed to call Jonny, and his voice was supposed to make it all crystal clear. He should have made Jordan Matthews a complete non-issue. She loves him so much, but she really wishes that she didn't. Her life would be so much easier if she didn't. She wants to forget about him, and the way he makes her feel. That mixture of pure excitement coupled with the sense that she's totally safe with him in every way. She wants things to go back to the way that they were, when they were best friends taking on the world together. When she was able to be right there for him whenever he needed her, and vice versa.

Mostly, she just wants to know if he feels the same way. Jessie has always prided herself on not acting like the typical teenage girl, obsessing over guys and overanalyzing every second of her life with friends. When it comes to Jonny, however, she can't stop herself. It's never helped that their friends in high school always said they would make the perfect couple, or that it's so obvious that he's in love with her. Jessie wishes that his feelings were obvious to her, but they're not. The best, and only real, female friend that Jessie has is Carrie, who's still in high school with Jonny. Jessie still talks with her often, and always finds that she carefully steers the conversation towards Jonny to see if Carrie will tell her something that Jonny hasn't. In particular, where things are going with Mary. She feels guilty after she does it, but she does it anyway.

Jessie has always been able to find solace in the fact that Carrie ends every phone conversation by telling her that she needs to open up her eyes and see that Jonny loves her. For the last month, however, Carrie hasn't said that once, and it's driving Jessie crazy. Jessie doesn't know if it's because Carrie has finally just given up on her own, or if something occurred that would make her think suddenly think that Jonny doesn't love her. Did Jonny say something to her? Is he acting more serious about Mary? What? The worst part is that she can't just come right out and ask Carrie or, even worse, Jonny because it'd be embarrassing, she has too much pride, and because she's just plain scared of what they might say.

Deep down, she's always thought they would end up together, and the prospect of finding out otherwise hurts too much. If and when she does find out that he's really moved on with someone else, she wants to be in a place where she can be happy for him, or, at least in a place where he won't be able to tell that he just broke her heart. She knows that it'll be almost impossible for her to fake being happy for him because he knows her so well. He can tell what she's feeling half the time just by the tone in her voice, so she won't stand a chance face to face. Obsessing over this possibility has led her to try really hard over the last few months to meet new people so she can move on too.

In high school, she never had to worry about it because she was right there with him and they spent most of their time together. She secretly loved the fact that he always picked hanging out with her over other girls. It was annoying that 99.9 of the girls at Rockport High hated her just for the simple fact that she lived with him. She actually made a lot of female friends during her freshman year. However, once Jonny joined her, the claws came out. Seeing the amount of time she spent with Jonny and learning that she lived with him, all the girls would ask Jessie politely if they were dating. Jessie eventually learned that it didn't matter whether she said yes or no, but she always said no. She can still feel the blood drain from her face every time a girl asks her that question. After she'd tell these girls, her supposed 'friends,' that Jonny wasn't not her boyfriend, she'd watch as their little faces lit up like Christmas, and then she'd be asked to put in a good word with Jonny, or to set up a date.

Jessie would always relay these conversations back to Jonny because she didn't want him to find out about them later and question why she didn't mention it. Her dad always taught her to never put herself in a situation without knowing at least two ways to get out of it, and she knows that she wouldn't have been able to lie to him if he asked her why. Just like she wouldn't be able to lie to him now. Jonny never seemed interested in any of the girls, and Jessie was always so relieved. However, there was the tiny little catch that she always had to go back and tell the girl that it wasn't gonna happen, which caused problems. Half of the girls would think that she didn't really say anything to him and the other half would think that she said something negative about them to make Jonny say no. Either way, she was the bad guy. She was the reason he didn't go out with them. It couldn't possibly be that he just wasn't interested.

By the end of sophomore year, Jessie had more than a few girls who tried to make her life very difficult. No matter what they did though, she never let them get a reaction out of her, which seemed to fuel the girls even more throughout the years. Jonny could always sense when she was on the edge and he'd reel her back in. It was so hard not to use what she knew to kick the crap out of those girls when they would spread rumors about her sleeping around, or something worse. It was even harder to keep Jonny from doing something about it. However, in the end, they decided that never giving them the satisfaction was sweeter. If something nasty was spread around about her all weekend, Jonny would make sure to stick even closer to her on Monday than normal, and he'd have his arm around her for most of the day. If he didn't believe something was true, or just not a big deal, than most others would follow suit.

It always annoyed her that her school was so immature. The kids there would change their minds about her every five minutes just based on what other people said or thought, and never because of who she was or what she did. She doesn't know what she would have done without Jonny during those years, but then again, he was the reason most of it happened in the first place. Not that she ever blamed him. It wasn't his fault that everyone either wanted to be him, be with him, or just hated him because they were jealous. He never asked for any of it, and she knew that he didn't want it. It always impressed her so much how he handled everything. All that they went through during high school together brought them closer, and he was worth it. When they didn't like the way that other people were acting, they'd just retreat into their own little world where it only mattered what the other thought. Screw everyone else.

Now that they're apart, however, things are different. He's going out with all those girls, and Jessie doesn't know why he's doing it. Maybe he was just waiting for her to leave so he could have fun with them. Maybe he's a lot more like her dad than she thought. Or maybe he's doing the same thing as her, just trying to move on. The problem is that she doesn't know which one it is, and it's driving her crazy. Her emotions towards him keep going from cold to extremely hot depending on which scenario she convinces herself is the most probable at any given time. One minute she's angry with him, for no reason she has any right to be angry for, and wishes that she never knew he existed. The next she doesn't think she can go another second without telling him that she loves him. And then, of course, there are those times when she's lying alone in bed at night thinking about him, and she just wants him.

The longer she goes without seeing him, the more she feels herself trying to find ways to protect her heart against him. She's never told anyone, but he's broken her heart in small ways so many times. He's never done it intentionally of course, but still. She's just glad that she hasn't been in Rockport for the last few months to have to watch him with all his new girls, especially Mary. God, for the life of her, Jessie can't think of what it is that he sees in that girl. There are the obvious reasons. Mary's a real life Barbie doll and she's easy to boot, but Jessie refuses to believe that Jonny's like that. He never has been. Why would he change all of a sudden? Maybe she's just fooling herself though. He is a guy, and an eighteen-year-old guy at that. Why would he end up being any different than the rest? The conflicting part is that she knows, deep down in her soul and like she knows the back of her hand, that he's not like every other guy.

Jessie's dad always taught her to trust her gut. He'd tell her that she comes from a long line of people with great instincts. Over the years, she's really come to believe that too. Her family has been put into more dangerous situations than she likes to count, but her instincts have helped them to survive numerous times. There have been times that she's spent with Jonny where everything inside of her is screaming that he loves her, but she's never fully trusted that feeling because she wants it to be true. She's afraid that she's only felt it so strongly because she wants it so badly.

Jessie has spent most of her life building up a wall to protect herself from being hurt the way that her parents hurt each other, and she's also spent most of her life pretending like Jonny hasn't always been inside that wall. She knows that he is, but she refuses to full on admit it to herself or, god forbid, anybody else. That would make her vulnerable, which is a position she rarely allows herself to be in. She's strong, she's proud, and she's stubborn. She's Race Bannon's daughter, and she feels the pressure of living up to his name and the expectations that follow. In all reality, Jessie knows that those expectations are really her just her own. Her father loves her unconditionally, but she's always felt like showing any weakness would lessen her in his eyes, or make her seem like she needs to be taken care of. She doesn't need to be taken care of, and she certainly doesn't want to be taken care of. She just wants a partner. I man that's not gonna stand behind her, or try to stand in front of her. She wants someone that will stand beside her no matter what. The only problem is that she found that person when she was six years old, but just doesn't know what to do about it. More than anything, she's afraid that he doesn't feel the same way, and that her heart will never settle less.

Sitting on her bed going through all of this yet again, her concentration is suddenly broken by the sound of a key in the door. She quickly threw her phone aside, wiped off the remaining tears on her face, and sat down in front of her laptop to act like she was busy.

"Hey, Jess," she heard her roommate whisper as she closed the door behind her.

"Hey, Jen," she replied just as softly. "Why are we whispering?"

At Jess's question, Jen got a semi-perplexed look on her face and then said, "I have absolutely no idea," in her normally above average voice. "I was just outside saying _goodnight_ to Paul, and he kept telling me to be quiet. I guess he didn't want a repeat of last week," she said with a smile and started walking towards the bathroom.

"I'd imagine not," Jessie replied as she walked away. Jessie couldn't help but laugh and shake her head at the way Jen said 'goodnight.' Jen and her boyfriend Paul have been known to get a little crazy in strange places all over the campus, but last week they got caught by a resident advisor in the common room. Needless to say, Paul has been walking on eggshells around their building ever since because he's gonna be band from the dormitory if he steps out of line again.

Not that Jen seems to care. That girl doesn't brake for anyone. It's one of the reasons that Jessie likes her. The main reason is that she reminds her so much of Carrie. It's like having a little taste of home with her everyday. She's also really grateful that she didn't get stuck with someone whose only purpose in life is to study and get straight A's, which, incidentally, is the only purpose in life for most students at Harvard. Jessie doesn't know how she lucked out with Jen, she's just happy that she did. They get their work done, but know how to have a good time too.

She's found a few other kids on campus with the same philosophy, and really likes the little group of friends that she's formed. Coming to Harvard was like a fresh start in that way. Her friends like her for who she is, completely independent of Jonny. It's kinda nice. She's had so many great conversations with people that have done some truly amazing and interesting things. Meeting so many well-rounded and intelligent men over the last few months has made Jessie feel like she really can move past Jonny. She finds herself to be excited before her dates, and she's had a really great time with most of the guys she's been out with. The boys in Rockport definitely don't hold a candle. Most of the men at Harvard are gentlemen, and they treat her right. She's also only been dating older men too, which helps.

However, despite all of their great qualities, Jessie's never been able to get past the first date, until Jordan anyway. She can never give the guy a good explanation either. She always reverts to the cliché, 'It's not you, it's me,' type excuses. She can't tell them the real reason, which is a certain blonde in Maine. After every date, she calls Jonny to tell him about it and, after telling him all that's happened and listening to his opinions, she always comes to the realization that the guy isn't good enough. Now, some people might think that she reaches this conclusion because Jonny tells her that the guy is not good enough, which he always does, but the truth is that she reaches it on her own after she hangs up. Because until she can hang up and not wish that she had just spent the whole night with Jonny, after just five minutes of talking to him versus hours of actually having fun with a great guy, than the guy is not going to be good enough. Until she can get through half the date without wishing the guy were Jonny, or at least the first ten minutes without mentioning his name, the guy will not be good enough. In reality, all of these guys are great, but her heart just won't let her see that right now.

One of the things that's always scared her most about the idea of getting into a relationship with Jonny is how reckless he is. If she let herself love him out in the open, she doesn't know if she'd survive it if something ever happened to him. Hell, she doesn't even think she could survive it now, and considering her family's history and his particular propensity for trouble, the chance of something happening is much greater than for most. Just thinking about it makes her feel like she can't breath. She can't lie though. She also really loves that aspect of his personality. It one of the reasons they have so much fun together. He has this amazing ability to just let go and have fun, and when she's with him, she does too. He can make her do things, and feel things, that no else on this planet can.

Out and out, he's just the best all around person that she knows. He's caring and sweet. He protects her and defends her no matter what, which, although annoying at times, is much appreciated. He's funny, and has a great laugh. He's so much smarter than he would ever give himself credit for. He always puts his family first. He works so hard at everything he does. A lot of people think he's so rich that he gets everything handed to him. That would certainly be possible if he wasn't so stubborn. He won't let anyone give him something just because of the Quest name. He works so hard for everything, and he wants to make it on his own. There's not a doubt in Jessie mind that if the Quest name wasn't already synonymous with success, it would be very soon. And it certainly doesn't hurt matters, or help matters in Jessie case, that he's built like a Greek god and is about ten times better looking than any other man she has ever seen. And it doesn't help that, despite all of this, he doesn't think he's God's gift to women.

Most of the students at Rockport call him Romeo. Jessie's always thought it was so cute how that embarrasses him. The truth is, he could have any girl he wants whether he knows it or not. Maybe he's finally realized this, and that's why he's going out with all of these girls. _'God, stop driving yourself crazy with assumptions and possible scenarios,'_ she tells herself. Before she could comply, however, her roommate's voice interrupted her thoughts again.

"Do you know that we run out of hot water quicker and quicker every time I enter the damn shower," she steamed while riffling through her drawers for a night shirt.

"Yeah, but look on the bright side," Jessie humored her, "at least we don't have communal bathrooms like most schools."

"Ah, praise the Lord. I don't know how people do that. I would go crazy," she replied honestly. "So, let's get to the good stuff. What happened tonight with Mr. Wonderful you lucky bitch?"

Jessie couldn't help but giggle. Jen was nothing if not blunt. "It was fine," she answered her, knowing that would not be a good enough answer. Honestly, the last thing she wanted to do right now was recount her night with Jordan. She's spent enough time thinking about that already.

"You are gonna have to give me more than that darling. I'm not gonna be able to sleep if you don't. Have you at least kissed him yet? His lips are just so amazing," she gushed like a twelve-year-old teenybopper.

"Yes, we kissed, but it wasn't a big deal or anything," Jessie sighed.

"Not a big deal?" Jen repeated flabbergasted. "How can you call your first kiss with the future father of your children no big deal."

Jessie didn't answer for a second because she couldn't believe what she had just heard. "What the hell are you talking about?" she asked in a disbelieving voice.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? The too of you are so perfect for one another, and he's absolutely crazy about you. I mean, he talks about you all the time and he's asked you to spend Christmas and this summer with him, which, by the way, I think your insane if you refuse."

"Yeah," Jessie started, "but don't you think he's moving a little too fast. We've only been on a few dates, and we've barely kissed?"

"Haven't the two of you known each other since you were little?" Jen asked. "That is so romantic. He's probably always loved you. Your gonna grow up and marry your best friend from when you were little. That's like every girl's fantasy," she said with a big sigh.

"He's not my best friend," Jessie automatically responded without thinking, and then realized from the look on Jen's face that she said it more harshly than she had intended. "I mean, before last month, we haven't even seen each other since we were four. I barely remember it. I know what you meant though," she quickly recovered.

"Hey, girl. I'm just trying to let you know that there are about a million girls that would kill to be in your position right now. I don't want you to screw it up. He's such a great guy," Jen said sincerely.

"I know you just looking out for me," Jessie responded. "I really do appreciate it too. It's just that I'm not sure how I feel yet. It's only been a month."

"So what's holding you back from jumping in with this gift from the heavens," Jen asked with a smile.

The question caught Jessie completely off guard, but she never got the chance to answer because she heard her phone ringing. Before the first ring completed she had the phone in her hand, and her heart was going about a mile a minute. She just looked at the phone for a minute, totally oblivious to Jen's curious stares. Without saying I word she walked out of the room to answer.

"I guess I should have asked who's holding you back," Jen said quietly to herself as she watched the door close.

In the common room, Jessie's hands were actually shaking as she answered on the fourth ring. She's been waiting and willing for the phone to ring for to hours, and now she almost wishes that it didn't.

"Hey," she said quietly as she sank down onto a leather couch.

"Hey," he replied just as quietly. He sounded sad, and it completely tore at her heart.


	7. Facing the Music

Since the moment he hung up on her, Jonny's been sitting on his bed in a state of shock. He heard her calling back, but couldn't bring himself to answer. He also saw the little light go off on his pone indicating that she had just left a message, but he couldn't listen to it. Besides still being in shock by the fact that Jess didn't tell him the idea of going away with Jordan was crazy, he's also scared because he knows that he just made a huge mistake. He had absolutely no right to go off on her like that. She has every right to be pissed, and to call back and take his head off. Ignoring that call was a cowardly thing to do, but he figures that she's stomped on his heart enough today, even if she doesn't know it.

He keeps replaying their conversation over and over in his head, and the lump in is throat keeps getting larger every time he does it. His heart has yet to slow down, and it physically hurts at the moment. He feels like he's been thrown into the ocean with his hands tied behind his back. His legs are getting tired, and he can barely stay afloat. He hates that she has so much control over his world, but he can't make the feelings go away either. He could drown himself in fifty more girls like Mary, and it would still kill him to have to watch her with someone else. He's never liked to think about her out with other guys, but this new guy has brought that dislike to a whole new level. He's never hated a man so much without even meeting him. If she's considering going away with him so quickly, then what else has she rushed into with him?

The thought of Jessie kissing him is incredibly annoying, but the thought of her being _with_ him is unbearable. He knows that she was a virgin before she left for school, but has she given into the pressure? Did she really like this guy that much? He can't ask her because it's none of his business, but he still wants to know. If he asks and she tells him, it's either going to be the biggest relief of his life or he'll spontaneously combust on the spot. He doesn't know how two people who know each other so well and share practically ever detail of their lives with one another have managed to dance around such an important issue.

What he does know is that sex is not something Jessie takes casually, and Jonny has gone through great efforts to subtlety let her know that he feels the same way. Jessie loves and respects her father immensely, but Jonny knows that she disapproves of the way he acts with women. In most ways, Jonny is just like Race, but not where women are concerned. He takes more after his father in that area, although his actions over the last few months might make it seem otherwise. He knows that Jessie wants her first time to be special, and for it to mean something every time. No matter how hard he tries to wrap his brain around it, Jonny can't convince himself that Jordan can give this to her.

Jessie is the smartest person he knows, and her instincts about people are always on point. He's sure that Jordan is smooth, but Jessie is not the type of person to fall for that crap. The more he thinks about it, the more likely it seems to him that Jessie has not slept with Jordan, which makes him feel a little better. There's no way that Jordan could love her for real in such a short period of time. If he's saying otherwise, than Jessie must be seeing right through it. Jonny has to believe that's true. However, he can never be 100 sure, and that small amount of doubt isn't something he's been dealing with very well lately. He can't believe that he wouldn't know it if she were in love, but maybe she didn't want to tell him because she thought he'd tell Race. She wouldn't go that far if she weren't in love though. If Jordan's misled her into thinking he's in love with her, if that jerk has gotten her to love him and he doesn't feel the same way, if he's stolen something she's never gonna be able to get back, then there will be nowhere on this Earth that he can hide.

All Jonny really wants is for her to be happy, but he wishes he were the one she needed to be happy. He wants to be the one she comes to when she needs an ear to listen, or just a pair of arms to be held in. He wants to be the one she confides in, and spends all her free time with. He used to be all of those things before she left, and he wants to be all of them again plus more. He wants to be the one who kisses her tears away, who lifts her veil, and who makes love to her all night. He wants to be the one she builds a family and a life with. Most people would probably accuse him of being too young to feel this way, but he's much more mature than those people give him credit for. He's been to hell and back in his eighteen years, and Jessie's been right there by his side. He doesn't think he wants her, he knows that he needs her. It's taken him twelve years to admit it to himself and, now that he finally has, it's consuming him.

Thinking about the things you want more than anything else in this world, but know you can't necessarily have, has this annoying tendency to make you feel helpless and out of control. Jonny has experienced these feelings numerous times over the last few months, but never more than right now. He feels like he could cry or, just as easily, break a window. He certainly can't sleep. So he does what he always does when his mind won't shut the hell up. He grabs his shoes and heads down to the ocean for a run. It's always windy down by the water, but it's even more so at 1:00 am on a December evening. Once he reaches the beach, Jonny purposely begins to run against the wind, which makes it difficult to pick up the type of speed he normally would. He can find solace for a few minutes in doing this because it's impossible for him to focus on anything besides fighting the wind when it's roaring so loudly inside his head. Jonny kept a steady pace for about forty-five minutes before making his way back to the Compound. Unfortunately, the wind isn't as loud when it's at his back.

As he's running home, he can't get her face out of his head, and he eventually comes to the conclusion that he as to call her back no matter how much he doesn't want to. He can't let her go to bed angry, or thinking he's mad at her when she didn't even do anything wrong. His heart is not very happy with his conscience at the moment. As he walks through the Compound back to his room, Jonny can't help but notice all the pictures of himself with Jess on the walls. This makes him want to apologize even more, but he doesn't know where to start. He's never been good at admitting when he's wrong. He still has no idea what he's gonna say as he climbs the stares, but he picks up the phone the second he walks into his bedroom and dials her number before he can convince himself not to call.

Every ring makes his heart beat a little bit faster, until he finally hears that familiar voice pick up.

"Hey," he heard her whisper softly.

"Hey," he repeated, trying not to sound like he felt.

"I'm so sorry," they said in unison, and an unusually awkward silence followed.

"No," he started up suddenly before she could say anything else. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have…"

"Don't," she quickly interjected. "Just don't take all the blame, ok. We both lost our heads."

Another silence followed before Jessie began again with a question.

"Did you get my message?" she asked.

"No," he answered a little confused, and then remembered the blinking light on his phone. "Well, yes actually," he backtracked. "I got it, but I didn't listen to it. I went for a run right after we hung up to clear my head. Sorry I missed your calls," he lied. "I decided on my way back that I needed to apologize, so I just called as soon as I got back to my room so that I wouldn't convince myself not to. You know, I'm not the best at admitting when I'm wrong, but I figured, you know, that I should just get it over with, so I called… and now we're talking, and I guess…"

Before Jonny could finish what he was saying, soft giggling on the other end of the line interrupted his jumbled train of thought.

She couldn't help but laugh at is rambling. He always rambles when he's apologizing, or when he's trying to avoid talking about what's really on his mind. Jessie has a sneaky suspicion that both of these things are affecting his ability to speak at the moment.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked a little bit relieved. It was good to hear her laugh.

"You're rambling and making very little sense," she told him with a smile in her voice.

"I was simply apologizing," he defended light-heartedly.

"Oh, is that what that was supposed to be?" she joked.

"Shall I try again?" he questioned dryly.

"That won't be necessary." She informed him through a subdued laugh. Once the moment passed, however, their conversation took a more serious tone. "So who gave you the idea that I'm not coming home for Christmas?" she asked.

He paused at her question, slightly thrown by the shift in topic. He knew by the tone in her voice that she wasn't hanging up without the real answer.

"J," she prompted at is hesitation.

"I was talking with your mom earlier, and she…"

"Oh my God," Jessie interrupted loudly. "I can't believe her. She is totally out of line, and she's driving me absolutely crazy," Jessie finished heatedly.

She was breathing heavily at this point, so Jonny decided to give her a few moments to calm down.

Jessie's seething. She is so mad at her mother right now that she can hardly see straight. Her mom has been pushing her into going out with Jordan for the past three months. Now that she finally has a few times, her mom's dropping not so subtle hints that a long-term relationship is the way to go. Her mother seems to think that God spent the entire sixth day making Jordan Matthews, and she's been trying to convince Jessie of that ever since she learned they would both be attending Harvard together.

Her mom started bringing Jordan up over summer break, and hasn't let up since. She even whipped out pictures of the two of them when they were younger, before her parents were even divorced. Apparently her mother's best friend's husband got along really well with her dad. Throw in the fact that both couples had kids only a few years apart and, presto, they all spent a lot of time together. Time that Jessie can't even remember, but really enjoyed according to her mother. If she has to listen to one more story about how cute she and Jordan were together, she's gonna scream.

Jessie gets really upset every time her mother starts talking about her and Jordan, and it's not just for the obvious reason that no one likes their mother butting into their love life. Her mom is constant.y talking about how they were such good friends when they were little, and wouldn't it be so amazing if they ended up together, and Jessie gets really defensive. She gets so mad because Jordan's not that guy, Jonny is. Jonny's the one it would be so amazing to end up with after being friends for so long, and she can't help but get angry when someone puts Jordan into a position that she's always thought was Jonny's. It's like they're reducing her relationship with Jonny to less than it really is, or placing the minuscule relationship she had with Jordan above Jonny because it happened first. It doesn't really take much for her to become defensive about her relationship with Jonny. Only Jonny and herself are allowed an opinion. The input of others is not welcomed. She is so stressed and confused right now.

A small part of her also can't help but wonder if her mother mentioned Jordan to Jonny on purpose to start trouble. Estella has never come right out and told Jessie that she doesn't like Jonny, or that she at least wouldn't approve of him as a boyfriend, but Jessie knows it's true. On the rare occasion that her mother will be spending time at the Compound, Jessie doesn't miss the disapproving glances that Jonny gets when he does something that reminds Estella of Race. Her mother thinks Jonny is just like her father, and, therefore, doesn't really hold him in very high regards. Her mom used to make small comments about it, but stopped once she realized it would do nothing but start a fight. Jessie's made it no secret to her mother that if she didn't like Jonny than she better keep it to herself.

Unfortunately, Jessie knows that her mother is not always able to control her emotions, so she doesn't let Estella spend much time at the Compound anymore. Her mom hasn't even seen Jonny in over two years. Jessie won't have her around him if she thinks she'll make him feel bad. In light of all this, Estella has changed her plan of attack from directly insulting Jonny to just pushing guys on Jessie that she thinks are better. Jordan is not the first, but he is clearly her favorite contendor. Jessie will be having a conversation with her mother very soon.

On the other end of the line, Jonny can't help but wonder what's going on in her head. She's been quiet for awhile, and she's begun to breathe somewhat erratically.

"You still there, Ace?" he asked cautiously

"Yeah," she answered quickly, her mind clearly somewhere else.

"Earth to Jess," he said a little louder to get her attention.

"I'm sorry, I'm still here," she started. "I'm just…aahhhhh."

"Ok," he said. "Just breathe, and then tell me what's going on with you. What's happening with your mom?" he asked.

"She's driving me crazy," she yelled.

"I got that much," he told her. "Do you wanna clarify? Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"I guess I've just been thinking about it so much that I didn't really feel like talking about it too," she explained. "Ok," she started with a sigh. "Jordan is my mom's best friend's son, and we apparently spent a lot of time together when we were little."

"Yeah," Jonny began in a less than thrilled voice. "Your mom filled me in on all that."

"What else did she say?" Jessie asked wearily.

Jonny almost said, _Everything you should have told me_, but held his tongue. He tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke. "Well, she told me all about him, and how you guys have been friends for a while." He's trying really hard not to sound jealous or bitter, but isn't so sure he's succeeding. "She told me you two had been out a few times, and that she really wanted things to work out. She was hoping I could give her the inside track on things since you tell me more than you tell her." He could feel himself getting angry again as he continued, but kept his tone fairly steady. "I just told her that's something she should probably be asking you, and that was about the extent of the conversation," he finished. It certainly wasn't the extent of the damage, however.

He waited impatiently as she mulled over what he had just told her.

What he didn't know is that she wasn't exactly mulling over his words so much as trying to steady her breathing. Silent tears began to uncontrollably run down her face while he was talking. He's trying to sound like he's not upset, but she can hear that he is. It's all her fault too. She doesn't trust her voice right now, but she knows he's gonna get frustrated and start a fight again if she doesn't start talking soon.

"My mom," she started in a shaky voice, "has been on my case for a few months now trying to get me to go out with Jordan," she told him.

"Why," he asked, not even attempting to hide his annoyance.

Without warning, the floodgates opened up.

"Because she thinks he is the greatest thing in the world. She keeps bringing up all of these stories from when we used to play together, and acts like we are reminiscing or something. I was like four years old, I barely remember him. She keeps telling me how her and Suzanne, that's Jordan's mom, always talk about how they wished we had spent more time together growing up. How they always wanted us to get together. My mom has always made it a point to tell me what he's up to, but once she found out that we would both be at Harvard for the next couple of years, she hasn't let up about wanting me to go out with him. I saw him around campus a few times the first few months here, but we just pretty much said hello in passing. We never even stopped to have a conversation. My mom told me that Suzanne has been telling Jordan about me too and that he was interested, but he sure didn't act like it. I figured he was just as annoyed with his mom's meddling as I was. Anyways, about a month ago, my Mom and Suzanne showed up to 'surprise' me and Jordan. It really felt more like an ambush than anything else. They took us out to lunch and started in on us about how we should be taking advantage of spending time together before I could even open my menu. It was so unbelievably embarrassing. He eventually did ask me to dinner and I said ok, but it was all so forced. I thought he was just asking so that our mothers would move on to another topic, but when the time came, he actually showed up at my door. I wasn't even dressed. I mean I was dressed, but not to go out. I never expected him to show up."

She took a small breath, but continued before Jonny could say anything.

"So I invited him in and we spent a few hours talking, mostly about the pressure from our mothers, and I eventually realized that he really did want to go out with me the whole time. I think he only waited because my mom told his mom that I wasn't being very receptive about the whole idea. I think he saw his chance at lunch to ask me and just took it. I don't really know what to think about him though. I've been so confused about the entire situation. And it's not like he's just some random guy that I can blow off. He seems like he really likes me a lot, so I keep saying yes when he asks me out. We always have a really good time together, but it's like he's too good to be true. He's interesting to talk to. He's done all of these amazing things and he's accomplished so much, but sometimes I feel like I'm just another goal he's trying to conquer, or like I'm the prize. My mom wants me to marry the guy, but I'm not so sure that he doesn't just want a trophy wife. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but something just feels off about the whole thing," she finished with a sigh.

Jonny feels like he's been punched in the gut. It's not easy to listen to her say good things about this guy, even though it's clear that she's not 100 sure about him. Hearing the word 'marry' come out of her mouth while referreing to Jordan threw him for a loop, as well. He has about hundred questions going through his mind that he wants to ask, but he asks the obvious one instead. "What do you think is off about it?"

"I don't know," she started, even though she really did know. "Maybe it's all the pressure and expectations," she lied. "I mean my mother has been on cloud nine for the last month. I feel like not at least giving him a chance would really disappoint her. I know that I shouldn't feel that way. She should really have no say in who I date, but I just hate disappointing her, especially when I hardly get to spend any time with her," Jessie finished honestly.

"I know you do," Jonny sympathized.

"I'm just digging myself in deeper too," she continued. "The longer I keep going out with him, the more serious my mom's gonna think things are, but I don't think I'm ready to break it off yet either." And she really wasn't. She's been trying to get over Jonny for months, and this is the first guy she's been able to get past the first date with. Maybe he's the one to help her move on.

"It's not fair to anyone to keep this up if you don't really feel it," she heard him break into her thoughts.

"I know," she agreed. "The problem is that I'm not sure how I feel." The truth is that she knows exactly how she feels. She loves Jonny, but wishes that she didn't and she doesn't love Jordan, but wishes that she at least could. She knows that Jordan likes her a whole hell of a lot more than she likes him and, even though she can't understand how someone can like her so much in such a period of time, she knows it's not fair to lead him on.

At this point, Jonny just wishes she would give him a straight answer, whether it's one he wants to hear or not. He's so relieved that she doesn't seem to like this guy as much as he let his imagination believe she could, but he was still hoping to hear her say that she didn't like him at all. It seems like she could go either way right now. The predicament that Jonny has is how he should proceed. Should he fight for what he wants, and try to persuade her he's not the right guy, or should he let her make her own decision and then take things from there. It's not an easy choice for him to make, and it's even less easy to make quickly. In the moment he decides that it has to be up to her. He doesn't want her unless he can have all of her. Anything less would be too painful.

"What does your heart tell you," he asked her barely above a whisper, waiting with baited breath for her to reply.

His question stopped the quick pace that her mind was running at in its tracks. _It wants you _is what she immediately thinks, but pauses before speaking.

"And don't say I don't know," he quickly added before she could say it. "Just think about it. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but you need to figure it out. The sooner you do, the quicker you can set things the way they should be and stop being so stressed out," he told her.

He sounded so sincere. She wanted to pour all her real feelings out to him, but she stepped back and took and deep breath before answering.

"I want," she started, but then stopped.

"You can trust me. You can tell me anything. I'll help you if I can," he told her.

"I know," she smiled. _I love you_, she thought.

"I want to be happy," she said honestly.

"Does he make you happy," he asked strained.

"He doesn't make me sad," she said.

"That's not good enough," he told her.

"I know," she replied. "I think he's a good guy, but it's just that…"

"Just what?" he prompted, eager to hear what she had to say.

"He's moving too fast," she confided. "That's a big part of what's making it feel off for me."

"What do you mean too fast," he asked, automatically in defense mode. "He's not pressuring you at all is he? I'll…"

"No, Jonny not like that," she interrupted his tirade. "I meant relationship wise. He's already asked me to spend Christmas break and the summer with him. We've only been on three dates. Doesn't that seem a little fast to you?" she asked.

"Absolutely," he quickly affirmed.

"Are you thinking about going?" he asked.

"No, not really," she told him, and she couldn't help but notice his sigh of relief. "I mean he's everything that my mom says, for the most part, but he's not who I want," she said. It was the most honest thing she had said all night, but she still couldn't believe she let it slip out of her mouth

"Who…What do you want," he corrected himself. She couldn't help but notice his slip of tongue, and the way he had said it.

She almost told him the whole truth, but was too afraid.

"I want to come home," she confessed. "I miss my family, and Questworld, and even Bandit," she laughed. "And I really miss you."

"I miss you too," he smiled. "So you'll be home in a few weeks then," he asked happily.

"If finals don't kill me," she quipped.

"I'm sure you'll survive," he told her.

'Thanks for the sympathy, J."

"Anytime, Jess."

"So what are you gonna do about Jordan?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet," she honestly answered.

It's not exactly what he wanted to hear, and he still doesn't know where he stands with her, but he definitely feels better about things now than he did a few hours ago.

"I'm glad I called," he told her quietly.

"Me too," she said.

"Call me tomorrow?" he said.

"Well, only five or six times," she said. "I have to study."

"Of course," he agreed. "The last ting I would want to do is interrupt your scholastic efforts."

"So, what did you get me for Christmas?" she asked out of the blue.

"Something I'm hoping you'll cherish forever," he said before he could think about it.

Before tonight, he had been planning on giving her the locket over Christmas. He had been planning yet again on how he was gonna tell her he loved her, but tonight had thrown him for a loop. He shouldn't have said that because now she's gonna expect something special. If he chicken's out, and gives her something stupid, she's gonna know that something's up.

Something in his voice made her heart stop when he told he that, but she's trying not to analyze it too much though because she doesn't want to set herself up for disappointment. "Now I'm really intrigued," she said.

"Well you're just gonna have to wait," he said light-heartedly, trying to cover his nervousness.

"Tease," she accused.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said. "There's no reason for name calling."

She giggled quietly on the other end of the phone, and he knew they were alright.

"Night Jess," he said softly.

"Night," she said. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye"

"Bye"

"I love you," he said after she had hung up. He knew she couldn't hear him, but it felt good to say it out loud.


	8. It begins again

_Author's note: Just to clarify. In my mind, Jade has always been closer to Jessie's age then Estella's. Race is definitely a ladies man, so I don't see it as far fetched that he would spend some time with a younger woman. For the purposes of this story, Jade is around 26 yrs old, and she has had an on and off relationship with Race for the last 4 yrs. Jessie, of course, hates her._

The two weeks leading up to Jessie's arrival passed like molasses for Jonny, but he knew that they were flying by too fast for her. She was preparing for her final exams, and didn't want to disappoint everyone that just expected her to do great. Jonny had exams too, but he's never been the type to worry about such things. Not that he could focus on studying right now, even if he wanted to. Since he found out for sure that she was coming home, he's been completely consumed with the idea of seeing her.

He's decided against hatching any more elaborate plans. He just wants to focus on spending four, fun and stress free, weeks with his best friend. And, if that perfect moment comes along, he won't let it slip through his fingers again. The only thing that he's really worried about is the comment he made to Jessie the other night about her Christmas present. He still can't believe he let that slip, and he doesn't know what he's going to give her that will live up to his promise.

All he does know is that he only has a little over twenty-hours hours until she'll be home, so he's hoping that something will come to him quick because he's not gonna be able to concentrate once she's here. As Jonny paces through the Compound trying to come up with a gift, another realization hits him square in the face. His father, Race, and Hadji will also be home in about a day, and the house is by no means in living condition. They've all been in India for the past three weeks negotiating a peace treaty, and Jonny has kinda let the chores go. Mrs. Evans was given strict orders by Dr. Quest not to clean up after his son. She was not to go above and beyond her normal duties and, unfortunately for Jonny, she has abided by that request for the last few weeks.

With a sigh, Jonny decided to get to work. '_At least this will get my mind off of everything for a while,'_ he suddenly thought. About an hour into his work, however, he heard a knock at the door.

"Iris?" Jonny questioned. "Who's at the door? Why didn't you let me know someone was approaching?"

"Unknown," came the automated voice.

"That's weird," Jonny thought out loud. As he made his way towards the door, his senses were at full alert. "Who's there?" he called through the door.

"Candy gram for a one Mr. Jonathon Quest," came a familiar voice that brought a smile to his face without thinking.

Chuckling, he opened the door and couldn't help, but appreciate the unquestionable beauty before him. "You know," she started coyly as she walked past him and brushed her hands across his chest. "Iris really is getting on in years. Perhaps, she could use a face-lift. I worry about you. Are you all by your lonesome sexy?"

"Don't worry," he smiled, without missing a beat. "I'm perfectly capable of protecting my sexy self, and I'm sure you're well aware that I'm alone," he finished, following her into the house.

"Well, what can I say without sounding arrogant," she responded. "On second thought, why even try. I find false modesty quite annoying, don't you?" she questioned, jumping up onto the kitchen counter and crossing her distracting legs.

"I don't think false modesty is a quality that will ever be associated with you Jade, so it's not even worth discussing," he answered. "So what can I do for you beautiful?" he asked with his trademark grim.

"I'm sure there's plenty you could do for me handsome, but I did have something specific in mind now that you mention it," she informed him, jumping off the table and making her way towards him.

He couldn't help but smile at this little game they were playing. Jade has a way about her that could put any man on top of the world. It's why she's so good at what she does. Even knowing her like he does, Jonny can still feel himself being drawn into her web. Deep down, he knows that she would never really take advantage of him. Besides Race, he's probably the only person in the world that can make that claim, but he definitely has moments with her where that belief is second-guessed.

"What's going on?" he asked seriously and saw something flicker in her eyes that he recognized, but hoped that he didn't.

"Can we take a walk?" she suggested soberly.

"Sure," he agreed hesitantly, making his way towards the door.

They walked for about half a mile without saying a word, Jonny with his hands in his pockets and Jade with her arms folded across her chest. It was an unusually warmer day for the middle of December in Maine, but the weather was the farthest thing from Jonny's mind.

"Jonny," she started quietly. "I think…" but she stopped as he put a hand up.

"Please don't," he almost begged. "I can't handle this right now. My family is coming home tomorrow, and things are finally gonna be back to normal for a while." After saying this he began to walk a little faster, so that Jade had to jog slightly in order to keep pace with him.

"Jonny," she said, grabbing onto his upper arm. "Just stop and listen to me ok. Look, you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't think this was for real. I saw first hand what it did to you last time, and you happen to be the last person in this world that I would ever want to see hurt," she said honestly.

With a few deep and steadying breathes, Jonny slowly pulled away from her a sat down in front of a sand dune a little to his left. He immediately pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head down on his elbows, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. His mind is going a mile a minute at the prospect of what Jade's sudden appearance really means, and he just wants to be left alone. To think that, up until a few minutes ago, his biggest problems were telling a girl that he loves her and trying to figure out what to get her for Christmas. He would give just about anything right now to go back and wallow in his teenaged angst again.

As he feels Jade slide down beside him and begin to rub his back in a gentle fashion, he can't help but wish that she would just disappear. However, he knows that she's not going anywhere and, even if she did, it would be a very short matter of time before he tracked her down to her what she had to say. He's just not the type of person that can live with the what ifs. Reluctantly, he takes a final steadying breath before looking up to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she began as soon as their eyes met. "I was going back forth the entire trip here trying to decide if coming was the right thing to do. You have to know that I wouldn't have come if I wasn't sure Jonny. I double and triple checked, and I would have just done it on my own if I could have."

Jonny knew that she really meant everything she said, but he's still terrified that she's wrong. "Jade," he began slowly. "I don't doubt that you really _believe_ this is for real. I know you wouldn't put me through this if you didn't, but what if you're wrong, huh?"

"What if I'm not Jonny?" she responded right back and immediately regretted it after the look he gave her.

"If you're not then…," but Jonny didn't know how to complete that sentence. The only thing he does know is that his life is gonna change dramatically regardless of whether or not she's right. At that thought, he can't help but feel extremely overwhelmed, so he puts his head back down to prevent Jade from seeing him too upset. Vulnerable and weak are not qualities that define him on any other day, and he's not gonna let them creep in now.

He just needs a moment to clear his head, but Jade is starting to seriously reevaluate her decision to come.

"Look, Jonny. I am so sorry. This was a huge mistake. I should have just gone to Race and…"

"NO," he screamed, interrupting her before she even got close to finishing her thought. "This stays between you and me Jade. Race can't know. He wouldn't understand, and he would feel obligated to tell my father. Do you have any idea what that means? What," and his voice broke very noticeably before he could continue. "What that would do to my family? You swore to me that you wouldn't go to him. You can't break that promise, ok."

"Ok," she agreed quietly.

"SWEAR IT JADE," he yelled hotly. "This isn't a game," he finished in a slightly calmer tone, knowing that screaming at her wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"I swear Jonny," she promised, squaring her shoulders and looking him directly in the eyes.

"Thank you," he breathed, only slightly relieved.

"So then, what's our next move?" she questioned, getting right down to business.

"Where?" he asked distractedly

"About 60 miles south of here. We could do it in one night, if the circumstances are right," she informed him.

"Only 60 miles," he repeated in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" he asked, but knew she wasn't. His heart is racing steadily now. "How," he stumbled. "How…"

Jade knew where he was going, and began to answer before he could get his question out. "Jonny, I never really believed that I was wrong two years ago. I know that it really looked that way in the end, and it kills me what that did to you, but I never thought I was wrong."

"Why didn't you say something then, Jade?" he asked, starting to get angry again.

"Would you have believed me? You were so upset, and I wasn't gonna be responsible for putting you through more. The way I saw it, I had two choices. Either pursue it on my own, which I knew would take longer, or ask Race for help and break my promise. What would you have rather I'd done?" she finished.

"I honestly have no idea," he answered in a defeated tone.

"I know this is difficult, but there is no use in looking backwards now, Jonny. It won't help our situation at all. Here's what I have in mind," she continued. "I think it seems a little strange that he's camping out only 60 miles away, so staking the situation out clearly takes priority. If this is a trap," she paused, noticing the look of anguish on his face at that prospect. "If this is a trap," she started again. "Then I'm not letting you within a hundred feet of the place. No," she held up her hand as he tried to protest. "This is not up for discussion. I came here so that you could be prepared for the end game alright. I'll handle the details," she finished determinedly, only to hear his mocking laughter.

"No fucking way Jade. No," he stopped her before she had the chance to respond. "I'm in this 100. I want to see this place now. I'm coming with you tonight."

"Absolutely not, Jonny. Just shut up and listen to me for a minute," she added before he could interrupt her again. "You were right before. This is not a game, and I am not gonna take you over there half cocked and have you do something stupid because your upset. It's.."

"DON'T talk at me like I'm a child Jade," he jumped in, despite the extremely annoyed look that she threw his way. "This is bullshit. I need to know the lay out of the area too, and I won't do something stupid to fuck this up. I have a whole hell of a lot more to lose than you do."

"Which is exactly why I think you'll be more inclined to put your emotions before common sense. I know that you can take care of yourself. That you've been around the block. Hell, in my opinion, you're already as good as Race ever was, but this is an unusual situation and everyone has a weak spot. It's important that we do this right because I really believe it will be our last chance, ok. Besides, as I was trying to say before, your family is coming home soon. It's not like you can disappear for hours at a time without someone getting suspicious. I need you to keep up appearances for a few days while I scope things out. Then, we'll decide the best course of action TOGETHER"

Jonny was quiet for a long time after she finished, and Jade could only hope that he'd see the reason in her logic.

"Ok," he agreed slowly. "We'll do this your way for now, but I have two conditions that are not up for negotiation. First of all, there is no way in hell that I'll wait more than four days. If you're not ready to go by then, too bad. Second of all, I'm coming with you tonight because my family is not coming home until late tomorrow. No arguments," he quickly added before she could object.

"Fine," she agreed reluctantly. "I have some things to take care of now, but I'll meet you by the front gate at 10:00."

"Fine," he replied, as she began get up. "And I want the whole story on the drive there, ok?"

"Yeah ok," she relented and began to walk away.

"Hey Jade," he called after her, but didn't know what to say when she turned around. He wasn't sure that he was thankful exactly, but it meant a lot to him that she seemed to care so much.

Jade seemed to understand. She just smiled slightly, gave him a small wink, and left him with two words, "Ten o'clock."

As he watched her disappear into the distance, Jonny found that he was rooted to his spot. He could barley breath, let alone move, so he just sat back down and resumed his previous position. He can't believe that this is happening again, but he knows that he's gonna have to be a lot stronger in the next few days than he's been in the last few minutes if he's ever gonna get through it. All he wants to do right now is go to sleep and not think, but that's not even a remote possibility. Instead he just lays back, closes his eyes, and braces himself for the inevitable onslaught of memories to come flooding back.

It was a little over two years ago. Jonny was about to turn sixteen and get his driver's license. In other words, he was about as happy as he'd ever been. Race had been taking him out every day after school to practice, and he knew that he had it nailed. Parallel parking…no problem. Driving in the rain, snow, sleet, hurricane, or whatever else…bring it on. He was unbelievably confident, but refused to show it on the outside for fear of provoking Jessie's wrath.

Jonny remembers that it was a Thursday during his winter break. He and Race had just gotten back from a particularly long lesson. Jonny's dad, Hadji, and Jessie were all in New York for some conference that Jonny cared absolutely nothing about. It took some cajoling, but he was able to convince his father not to make him go, which meant that Race didn't have to go either. Race is always appreciative when he gets to stay home with Jonny, as opposed to going to these conferences, so they always have a lot of fun together. Not that they didn't always, but it's different when it's just the two of them. They goof around, make each other laugh, and Race teaches Jonny everything he would teach his own son. Normally, weeks like that one are always been filled with some of Jonny's favorite memories, but all he really recalls from that particular week are the bad ones.

It was all a fluke how he ended up finding out. He should have never known about it. He should have been the one kept in the dark, but it hadn't worked out that way at all. Maybe it was fate that intervened, or maybe it was just dumb luck. In any case, he was forced, once again, to grow up a little faster than he should have had to.

He and Race had been out driving around for three hours, but neither had thought to pick up food on the way home. Since Mrs. Evans wasn't around to cook and Jess wasn't there to harp on eating healthy (something that lasted for an annoying three months, during which she decided that she needed to be on a diet for some reason), pizza was the obvious choice. Race had their favorite place as speed dial number seven on his cell, so he called and ordered two large pizzas as they were walking into the Compound. As per usual, he left his number so they could call when they were at the gate, and Jonny thought nothing of it.

Against his wishes or intentions, Jonny remembers every conversation, word for word, that he had that day. He remembers what he was wearing, and what the weather was like. Absolutely everything about that day, and the days that followed it, are seared into his mind forever to be eternally relived and overanalyzed so he can willfully drive himself insane thinking about how things would be now if he had done even the littlest thing differently.

If he had just insisted that he and Race eat before going home that day, he would not be sitting on the beach in the middle of December two years later staring out at the ocean like a zombie rehashing old demons. If he had just gone up to his room to grab a shower as soon as they got home like Race did, he wouldn't be here. Most importantly, though, if he had just never picked up the phone that day, he would be cleaning the Compound right now. He'd be blissfully unaware of everything going on with Jade, and he'd just be thinking about making his girl smile. Unfortunately, that's not the case at all.

Jonny can feel that overwhelming urge to cry as he begins reliving the moments that changed his heart forever.

"Hey Cowboy," Race had called out from the kitchen once they had settled down a bit from their long drive.

Jonny can't help but smile a little whenever Race calls him 'Cowboy' because it makes him feel like a part of a real family tradition. He got the nickname when he was five and Race took him to visit his parents down in Texas while Jonny's father was out of town. Jonny's always been outgoing, and he quickly adopted Jessie's grandparents as his own. They fell in love with him too. After his first visit, they insisted that he call them Grams and Pop, which he was excited about since his father and grandfather (who he never sees) were the only family he'd had left at such a young age.

Within ten minutes of being at Race's parent's home, Jonny had taken over. He wanted to see and touch everything on the large ranch. Before anyone could stop him, he was out the back door and heading towards the barn. Now, Jonny doesn't remember much of this first hand, but the story has been told a hundred times since it happened. Apparently, his sense of curiosity and innate ability to sniff out, and put himself directly in the middle of, a dangerous situation combined so that he found himself inside a pen with a not so friendly steed. Race's dad pulled him out just before the charging animal reached him, but he always says that Jonny never even flinched.

Race, of course, was furious. That was the first time Jonny can remember Race yelling at him, and it was not a pleasant experience. Once Race dismissed Jonny from his sight, Jonny spent the rest of the day moping in his room. Eventually, Race came up to apologize and get him for dinner, but Jonny remained quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the evening. He was afraid that he'd do something else wrong, and Race might not like him anymore. Noticing his behavior, Race's mother questioned Jonny until he cracked. He remembers feeling like a baby for being upset, but Race and his parents quickly calmed his fears. Race took Jonny aside and promised that nothing Jonny could ever do would make Race hate him. Angry yes, but not hate. Race promised him on that day that he wasn't going anywhere, and Jonny believed him. It was the safest he'd ever felt in his life.

The night before Race and Jonny were to head home, Race's mother cooked a huge meal and was telling Jonny all these stories about Race when he was little. Jonny remembers liking it when she kept mentioned how much Jonny reminded her of Race at his age.

After she finished telling one of her stories about Race getting into some trouble, Race's father piped in that he always used to tell his friends that Race was just a good boy with just a little bit of cowboy in him (A/N: I do love Tim McGraw by the way. If you don't get that reference then never mind).

It kinda became a running joke between Race and his father that whenever Race did something wrong, it was just the cowboy, and that drove Grams absolutely crazy. Anyways, after spending an entire week with Jonny, Race's dad announced that Jonny didn't just have the cowboy in him, he was the Cowboy. The nickname stuck.

"Yeah Race," Jonny called back, as he made his way towards the kitchen to see what was up.

"What do you say we make this a movie marathon night?" Race suggested.

"Sounds great to me," Jonny smiled. He loved movie nights.

"What are you in the mood for?" Race asked.

"It's definitely a Diehard Trilogy evening," Jonny informed him with a grin.

"Of course," Race supplied with a knowing look. "I'm gonna go take a shower real fast. The money's on the counter if the pizza gets here before I'm done, ok?"

"Cool," Jonny answered as he grabbed the money and Race's phone before heading back into the living room.

He was just sitting there watching music videos when the phone rang. He didn't even think about it as he picked up, sure that it was just the pizza guy waiting at the gate. Before he could even say 'hello,' however, the voice on the other end of the line was off.

"Race, don't hang up," Jonny immediately recognized the voice as Jade's. "Just listen to me, ok. I know that things are hardly copasetic between us right now, but this is bigger than that. Meet me tonight at midnight down at that small edge of the Compound where the security cameras are blind. Don't even think about not showing up because I am already on my way, and it's important. Race?" she questioned at Jonny's lack of confirmation

"Race, you son of a bitch," she continued, but Jonny just held his breath and didn't say a word. He should have looked at the caller ID before answering. "Fine you selfish bastard, don't answer me, but you better show up tonight. Rachel Quest is alive."

"What," Jonny screamed, but she had hung up the phone immediately after saying it.

Jonny couldn't breathe. He felt like he was having an asthma attack, but didn't have time to react too much because the phone rang yet again. This time he looked at the ID, and it was just the pizza guy.


	9. Flashbacks

_A/N: Well, it's a good thing I like writing this story so much because I don't think many people are reading it, or JQ fanfic in general, but I'm trying to stay determined to finish anyway. I forge on! I recognize that this isn't my best work. I promise the next chapter will be better._

_Still approximately two years prior, so there's no confusion_

Jonny remembers it was no easy feat convincing Race that nothing was wrong when he cut the Diehard marathon short at ten o'clock to go to bed. He felt like he did an amazing job of pretending like he was ok all throughout dinner and the first movie, but he really needed to get some time alone to think. He also needed to make sure that he had enough time to sneak past IRIS, Race, and to get to the edge of the Compound before Jade.

It turned out, however, that giving himself time to think wasn't such a great idea. His mind had no idea where to begin. How could she be alive? He saw her die? He was only five, but he remembers the moment as if it were yesterday. He dreams about it all the time.

They were in Rome on a family vacation. They were walking around the city together after diner, and Jonny was in the middle holding both of their hands when it all began. He saw that monster grab her and taunt his father. He heard his father beg and his mother cry, while she was taken away by gunpoint and thrown into a black SUV. Jonny remembers trying to run after her, but his father's grip was too strong. He didn't realize it in that instant, but looking back, he can literally remember the moment when his mother was ripped away from him, and he's haunted by it.

It was ten days before he saw her again. His father was so scared during the time she was missing. He remembers that agents were all over their hotel room, and that no ransom call ever came. Jonny's Grandpa Doug arrived on that tenth day, and wouldn't let up on his father for a second about how everything was his fault. His father was like a zombie. He didn't eat or sleep, and only talked to the agents. By the time Doug arrived, he was so worn down that even Jonny remembers being worried about him.

It was that worry and fear which led him to ask his father to take a walk to the park a few blocks from the hotel. Jonny just wanted to spend some time alone with his dad to ask a few questions that had been on his mind. In particular, if his mother was ever coming back.

A few minutes later, they were on their way to the park with four agents trailing behind. Jonny remembers trying to ask his question a couple times, but was never able to get the words out. The two of them just walked in silence until they reached the park and heard it.

"BENTON," his mother's voice shattered through his cluttered mind. "BENTON, GET JONNY OUT OF HERE," she screamed, before the man holding her roughly covered her mouth with his hand and put a gun to her head.

Jonny whipped his entire body around as fast as lightening until his mother came into view. She was struggling against a man almost three times her size, and was surrounded by about ten more with guns.

Everything that happened after that is almost all a blur. Jonny remembers that the agents pulled their weapons rather quickly, flanking him and his dad. He remembers a man mocking his father's pleas to let his mother go, but it wasn't the same man that was holding her. This guy was off to the side a bit and dressed very nicely. He looked like some sort of professor or doctor. He remembers hearing something about payback, and trying like hell to run and help his mother. He remembers that it was an agent gripping him tightly this time to keep him from helping her, and he remembers fighting like hell as he witnessed some of his mother's final moments.

"Well, Benton," the man had started, in an English accent. "This has been a long time coming for the both of us and, for the first time, you're gonna lose. I thought I was gonna have to wait forever for you to come out of that hotel," he laughed evilly. "But I knew it would be worth the wait. I wanted to be able to see your face when I took away what you love most, just like you did to me you bastard."

"NO," his father screamed and tried to run towards the man, but the agents restrained him.

"LET ME GO," he screamed at them. "SHOOT THEM. SHOOT THEM," he yelled, but they wouldn't. Jonny couldn't understand why the agents weren't trying to help his mother. "LET GO OF ME AND KILL THEM," his father screamed again.

"Sir," one of the agents began, "we can't help her. There are too many of them. Let's get out of here now."

"NO, you son of a…..get off me," his father demanded. "THAT'S MY WIFE," he finished hotly.

As a result of all the commotion, Jonny was able to get out of the agent's grasp. He made a break straight for his mother, but wasn't fast enough.

"BENTON," the man yelled. "I never want you to forget that she's dead because of you." Without another word, the man pulled a gun from his jacket and shot his mother in the head.

Jonny was only about ten feet away when it happened, and he froze in his tracks.

"NOOOOOOO," he heard his father cry. "NOOOOO."

The man just laughed.

Jonny couldn't move and he couldn't breath. It didn't register with him that he was surrounded by eleven men with guns. All he could see was his mother, slumped over at the waist in the big man's arms and not moving. He doesn't remember screaming or crying, although he's sure that he did. Then his view of her was gone because the man that shot her was standing right in front of him with a gun leveled at his head.

"NO, GET AWAY FROM HIM," he heard his father yell, but Jonny did nothing except stare at the man.

The next thing Jonny knew, the man laughed and winked at him. Then, the man holding his mother threw her to the ground, and they were all off running.

Jonny ran straight to his mother and turned her over. His father was there with the agents surrounding them about two seconds later. Both Jonny and his father were covered in her blood and screaming for her to wake up, but she never did.

The days that followed were the worst of his life. He was lonely and sad, and he didn't know what he was supposed to be doing half the time. His father was there in body, but his mind and soul were M.I.A. Even his Grandpa Doug realized that there was no point in yelling at him anymore because he just wasn't there.

When they had gotten back to the hotel that evening after everything, Jonny's father absolutely exploded on the agents, and that was the last time Jonny had heard him talk or show any emotion for weeks.

"Can I call someone for you," one of the agents had asked his father tentatively.

"You can call you boss agent," is father started quietly. "And you can tell him that he's gonna have four dead agents on his hands if he doesn't get you out of my sight RIGHT NOW. I WANT A FUCKING EXPLANATION," he screamed.

"Sir, our orders were to protect you," the agent told him.

"Well, you didn't do a very good job of that tonight, did you? What's your boss gonna think?" he asked mockingly. Jonny had never heard his father act like that before, and he could tell the agent was getting a little annoyed.

"You're alive sir," the agent told him.

"You just let him shoot her," he accused disbelievingly.

"There was nothing that we could've done, sir. We didn't have enough resources to help her and safely complete our mission," he said.

"YOUR MISSION WAS TO PROTECT US, AND YOU FAILED MISERABLY AGENT," his father exploded.

"Our mission was to protect YOU, and you're still alive," the agent deadpanned.

"What?" his father asked quietly. "So you're telling me that I-One thinks my family is expendable? IS THAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO ME?" his father screamed.

"No, of course not," the agent told him, showing a little emotion for the first time. "I'm sorry, sir. I had my orders."

"Well I hope that helps you sleep at night, agent," were the last words that Jonny heard. He couldn't take it anymore, so he ran to his room, locked the door, and hid his head under a pillow. The screaming continued for at least another hour before he fell asleep, and he woke up the next day to a world forever changed.

Tears still form in his eyes on the rare occasion that he let's himself become vulnerable enough to relive those memories, and sitting on his bed waiting to go meet Jade had certainly left him in a vulnerable enough state.

At 11:15, Jonny breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Race's door shut, which made things slightly less complicated. He proceeded to dress all in black and put on his running shoes. Then, he blinded IRIS to his movements on the property, which gets harder all the time as Race and his dad keep upgrading the system to prevent the kids from doing just that.

Once set, he quietly left his room and made his way to the back door. When he was safely out of the house, Jonny broke into a run to meet Jade. He wanted to get there before her so that she wouldn't bolt when she saw him coming instead of Race. As he approached the edge of the Compound, he slowed down and crouched behind a sand dune to wait for her. It was 11:45.

At 12:05, he began to panic. His heart had been beating a mile a minute for the last twenty minutes, and he doesn't know what he'll do if she doesn't show up. He needs to talk to her and get this straight in his head tonight.

He was about to leave and go ask Race for help when he heard her footsteps. She was pacing and muttering softly under her breath. Jonny froze. He was afraid of what she would say, and was also afraid of what she wouldn't say. A sudden thought occurred to him in that moment. What if she only said it to get Race to come? Jonny certainly wouldn't put that past her.

"Selfish son of bitch," he heard her mumble, and then heard her begin to walk away.

He knew that he had to take action immediately, or risk losing his chance, so he silently made his way out from behind his hiding place.

"Jade," he almost whispered, and knew that he sounded like he was in physical pain.

She stopped in her tracks at the sound of his voice, but didn't turn around to face him.

"Jade," he called out again with more force, and then she turned around to meet his stare.

He couldn't read her eyes to save his life. Damn she was good. "Hey baby," she smiled. "It's good to see you again. What are you doing down here so late?" she questioned. She wasn't giving him an inch, and it was pissing him the hell off. This was his mother she was messing around with. That's when he lost it.

"CUT THE SHIT," he screamed at her, clearly catching her off guard. "What's going on, Jade?" he demanded.

"Alright, you caught me," she started coyly, not missing a beat. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd surprise…"

"Is my…," he cut her off and his voice wavered, but then he swallowed and finished determinedly. "Is my mother alive?" he questioned, and saw her face fall. "Or are you just fucking with Race?" he added.

"Jonny," she started, but no more words came.

"TELL ME," he screamed, upset with himself for being on the verge of tears. "Tell me either way Jade, but you fucking tell me RIGHT NOW. TELL ME."

"She's alive," she said quietly.

"What?" he asked totally heartbroken, as he fell to his knees. "That's not possible Jade. Tell me how that's possible. I saw her die. I saw her go into…I saw her go into the ground," he finished softly.

"Jonny," she started again, and sank to her knees in front of him. "I don't know the how part, I just know that she is?"

"How do you know that?" he asked, still unable to stand.

"Maybe we should go get Race before we get into this," she suggested worriedly.

"No," he told her quickly. "You can't tell him Jade."

"I'm gonna need his help to get her outta there," she responded flatly, going right back into business mode.

"Outta where?" he asked.

"Jonny," she sighed.

"Where is she?" he asked, losing his patience.

"Paris"

"How…tell me everything right now," he insisted.

"Fine," she relented. "But we get Race first. How the fuck did you find out about this anyway?" she asked, furious with herself for screwing up.

"Next time, wait for someone to say 'hello' when they pick up the phone before you start talking." He told her harshly. "And we're not telling Race," he added quickly.

"Then I'm outta here," she threatened and stood up to leave.

"Fine, then I will go and tell him everything. How do you think he'll feel knowing that you're putting me through this shit again Jade. Do you think he'll forgive you? Because I don't think he will," Jonny threatened right back.

That stopped her dead, and she turned around to glare at him. This time, Jonny could read her eyes. "You wouldn't dare?" she asked, a little fear reflected in her voice.

"Yes I would," he told her. "Especially now that I know you care so much," he finished in a voice that he didn't even recognize.

He realized pretty quickly, however, that acting like a madman wasn't going to help this situation, so he decided to be honest with her.

"Jade listen. I'm sorry, ok. I've just had all of this thrown at me out of nowhere, and I'm not exactly handling it all that great. Please…Please just tell me what you know."

"Ok, but I don't like this," she conceded. "This is what happens when people let emotions drive them," she chided herself. "FUCK!" she screamed, totally frustrated.

"Stop stalling," Jonny accused.

"Fine," and then she started to tell him everything, while still fuming. "I was in London a few months ago working on a deal, and I came across a pretty lucrative opportunity to say the least. I obviously can't go into the details, but it involved getting into bed with Anton Grobin," and she stopped, looking at him expectantly.

"Am I supposed to know who that is Jade?" he questioned, annoyed that she had stopped.

She looked a little surprised, but continued. "Anton is an international art dealer, who's involved very heavily in the black market. He's somewhat of a godfather, if you will, in my line of work. So when I heard that he was interested in my services, I was on the first plane possible to take a meeting with him. When I arrived at his home in Paris, I noticed a couple of meatheads being rough with a blonde woman that looked vaguely familiar, but I dismissed it pretty quickly because I was told that Anton was ready to see me."

"Did she look hurt," he asked quietly, worried for the first time that this all may be true, and that his mother may have been suffering for years without anyone knowing.

"No…I don't know," Jade told him. "Like I said, I didn't give it much notice at first, and I probably would've forgotten about it totally if I didn't agree to Anton's proposal. When I decide to go into business with someone, I do a very thorough background check, regardless of their reputation. I have amazing sources, so I'm able to find out all types of things that people try to hide, and good old Anton had a lot buried. It all worked in his favor as far as I was concerned, but my gut told me to dig a little deeper. When I did, I found out that Anton Grobin doesn't really exist," and she stopped to take a deep breath before continuing. "His real name is Richard Hill," she said, and he caught her watching him expectantly again.

"Ok, am I supposed to know who that is then?" he asked, getting very annoyed now.

"When I did a little digging on Richard Hill," she continued in an upset tone. "It all fell into place. Jonny, he's the man that supposedly killed your mother," and then Jade stopped talking to let that sink in.

Jonny took a few steadying breaths before speaking. "How did you find that out? I've tried to look it up…"

"Good sources, like I said," she interrupted. "I thought you would have known though, I'm sorry."

Jonny just shook his head 'no,' unable to find his voice, but Jade continued.

"Anyways, as soon as I found that out, I remembered the woman that I saw and realized why she looked so familiar," she said. "I didn't want Anton to get suspicious, so I followed through with my end of the bargain, and have been shadowing him and a few key players in his organization ever since. I've only been able to catch one more glimpse of her when she was being put into an SUV outside Hill's home," Jade said. "She looked ok," she added quickly, noting the look on Jonny's face. "I…uh…," she stumbled.

"What?" Jonny asked, finally finding is voice.

"It's not very good," she started cautiously. "But I have a picture."

Jonny's head shot up at those words, and Jade couldn't take the picture out of her pocket faster for him. He ripped it from her fingers, and stared for a full minute. It was a little blurry and from quite a distance, but Jonny certainly recognized that this woman resembled his mother. It couldn't be her though.

"But I saw her die, Jade. How do you explain that?" he asked through gritted teeth, trying to harness his emotions.

"I don't know," she breathed.

"Don't tell me you don't know. How can you drag this up if you don't KNOW," he yelled. "I saw the bullet go into her head, I saw her get thrown to the ground, I put my head…I put my," but he had to close his eyes and take a few seconds before continuing, and he kept his eyes closed when he did, picturing everything. "I put my head against her heart, Jade. It wasn't beating. I…I saw her go in the ground. I visit her fucking grave. SHE'S DEAD," he screamed.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" she asked a little harshly.

"What?" he asked, unsure of how to respond to her accusation.

"Listen, Jonny. All I know is what I saw and what I found out. This Hill guy went to school with your father. They were friends and business partners after they graduated from Harvard. I don't know all of the details, but things went south at some point, obviously, and Hill went after him with a vengeance."

"Yeah, he killed his wife," Jonny finished bitterly, still not wanting to believe any of this and upset that he didn't already know all of that information.

"Jonny you're right, ok. I can't say that I'm 100 sure she's alive, which is why I wanted to talk to RACE about this and not YOU. I only saw the woman for a few seconds in total, but it all makes sense to me. I mean there were days between the time your mother was taken and when she was supposedly killed, right? And Hill clearly put a lot of thought into ruining your father's life. How do you know the person you saw get shot wasn't just someone that looked like your mother?" Jade questioned.

"I heard her voice," he told her immediately. "She called out to my father."

"What if that was just recorded," she suggested. "Maybe Hill orchestrated this entire thing from the beginning so that he could come back years later and ruin your father again," she finished.

"That's pretty far fetched Jade. This is real life, not a soap opera," Jonny criticized.

"Well maybe Hill was so jealous that he wanted your father's life. Taking his wife would be a pretty good start," she theorized. "It's not that hard to create a double of person Jonny. Especially, if you're properly motivated and financed. You just find someone who looks similar, and throw a lot of money and a great plastic surgeon into the mix. You were only five when it happened, and I'm sure there was blood everywhere. You were at a distance during most of the incident. By the time you got up close, you were upset and half of her face was gone, wasn't it?" she asked, trying to get him to see where she was coming from.

"How," he started, obviously very angry. "How do you know all of that?" he asked. He never told anyone those details, and he's sure that his father hasn't either.

"Race told me," she said quickly.

"I never..," Jonny started.

"One of the agents that was there briefed him," she cut off.

"My dad would have known if it wasn't her," Jonny rationalized, needing to know that his mother was at peace now and not stuck with some madman.

"Are you sure?" Jade questioned.

Jonny wasn't sure of anything at that point. His father was so upset before and after it happened. Maybe he did make a mistake.

"Don't you think she would have found a way to let us know she was alive in eleven years?" Jonny questioned, still fighting to reach a conclusion in his mind

"He could have kept her away from phones and computers if he really wanted too. Look, I know this all sounds insane, but nothing is impossible when you're properly motivated. You're right though, I don't have any concrete answers," she sighed, looking tired.

"Alright," he conceded a little. "Let's say that I buy the whole doubles theory. How do we know that this one isn't the double, uh? That would screw my dad up pretty bad too," Jonny finished.

"I really don't believe that's the case. I know how this guy works, and I've looked him right in the eye. He's a psychopath Jonny, and he's a psychopath with a lot of money and resources. I think I'm right about this," she finished determinedly.

"Well as long as you've got a good feeling," Jonny replied, mockingly

"God, I've fucked this up royally. Race is gonna kill me," she groaned.

"No he's not because he's not gonna find out Jade. Promise me right now that you won't tell him…please," he begged.

"I can't do that Jonny," she told him.

"Why?" he asked. "Are you gonna suddenly grow a conscience on me?" he asked angrily.

"Hey," she yelled. "That was uncalled for. I don't lie to Race," she told him. Jonny wasn't buying it.

"But you don't tell him everything do you?" he countered. "An omission is not a lie, and it's not like this is a topic of conversation that will come up between the two of you naturally," he finished.

"I need his help, Jonny."

"I'll help you, Jade" he insisted. "Listen to me. If you tell Race, do you think he'll tell my dad?" Jonny questioned.

"Probably," she answered after a while.

"Change that 'probably' to a 'definitely' and you've got a right answer," he supplied. "He will tell my dad Jade, and it'll absolutely wreck him. Please don't do that to my family, especially when you're not 100 sure. My dad wouldn't be able to handle this a second time. You didn't see what it did to him. She was his whole world, she still is," and then Jonny's breath hitched in his throat for a moment. "We can't tell him anything until we know for sure. We'll look into it, and if you're wrong then he never has to know. Please, I'm begging you," he finished.

"Ok," she relented, clearly unsure of her decision.

"Thank you," he professed, only slightly relieved.

"Are you sure _you_ can handle this?" she questioned.

"I don't have a choice," he told her. "This is my family we're talking about. And you don't have to worry about me. I can handle myself. So Paris?" he questioned, trying to focus.

"Well that's a good starting place anyway," she informed him, slowly. "I haven't been back to Anton's home since I took that picture. I'm sure he has several others, but I'm a little wary of using my sources to get that info. I don't want anything getting back to him to make him suspicious. We all pretty much run in the same circle. I was hoping Race could tape I-One's sources," she said.

"I'll take care of that," he told her.

"Oh really," she said, disbelievingly.

"Yeah really," he replied, totally serious.

"Ok," she said quietly. "I'm not really sure where to go from here."

"Well, I'm guessing Paris would be a good start," he said. "When do you wanna leave?" he asked.

"I can't take you to Paris," she said incredulously.

"You can, and you will. You said yourself that you needed help," he told her.

"You're fifteen…"

"I'm almost sixteen, and I can take care of myself," he breathed heavily. "This is my mother we're talking about. I'm going."

"How are we gonna explain your disappearance. Race will kill me if something happens to you," she said worried.

"Again, I can take care of myself. Nothing will happen to me, and I'll take care of Race. Just let me know the place and time," he finished determinedly.

"Jonny, we can't…" she started, but stopped, seeing that arguing was useless.

"I'll need to work out the details," she said, resigned.

"Fine, will you call me tomorrow?" he asked. "You have my cell, right?"

"I'll call you tomorrow," she said.

"Promise?" he pleaded.

"Yes," she said.

"And promise that you won't tell Race?" he asked.

"Yes, for now," she answered a little more slowly.

Jonny knew that was the best he was gonna do for now, and he wanted to get back to the house to get to work.

"Thank you," he said quickly, and then another question popped into his head when she began to walk away. "Why do you care?" he asked, suddenly curious.

"Huh?" she looked at him questioningly.

"Why do you even care what happens to my mother?" he asked more directly.

She paused for a moment and then looked him right in the eye while speaking. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to Race?" she asked quietly.

Jonny just looked down. He didn't know how to answer that question.

"I'll call you tomorrow," she said, and then left him sitting there on the beach.

And now here he is, more than two years later, sitting close to that same spot on the beach and rehashing it all.

Jade did call him the next day, and told him to meet her at the edge of the Compound that night at midnight again. His dad, Hadji, and Jessie, were still gonna be gone for another week at their conference, so Race was his only obstacle. He still feels really guilty about the way he went about it, but it was the only option he could think of.

It took a little persuading, but Jonny was able to convince Race to take him and a couple of his friends camping for a few days. There were camping grounds about an hour from the Compound, so it was perfect. Jonny spent most of the day packing and hacking into the I-One database for information on Anton Grobin. He was able to locate three homes that Anton keeps across Europe, but he couldn't find out anything about the guy's life before he became Anton. Jade's sources were good, he just prayed that they were reliable too.

Jonny packed one bag for camping, and another for meeting Jade that he threw in the back of his closet. When Race called him to leave, Jonny made sure to again blind IRIS to his actions before making his way to car.

Once they were on their way, Jonny doubled his efforts to act normal. He didn't want Race or his friends becoming suspicious at all. It didn't take long for them to get there and get set up. By 8:00, they were all in front of the fire, and roasting marshmallows. By 10:15, he was nervous as hell. He remembers thinking that he hoped no one would notice that he kept staring at his watch.

At 10: 27, Jonny announced that he had to go take a piss and he'd be right back. No one except Jade saw him again for a week. As soon as he was a safe distance away from the campsite, he took off in a mad sprint in order to give himself the biggest head start that he could. He could vaguely hear his name being screamed in the distance a few minutes later, but he didn't look back.

He hot wired a car, and it took him about an hour to get back to the Compound, hide the car, grab his stuff, and meet Jade.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked upon seeing him.

He knows that he must've looked horrible, but he ignored her question. It was time to get serious. "Let's go," he ordered.

Before he knew it, he was traveling over the Atlantic Ocean towards Paris, and once again had too much time to think. He filled Jade in on the other locations, but wouldn't tell her how he got past Race. He couldn't think of a feasible lie to save his life, so he just didn't answer. He knew she was suspicious, and was really thankful when she let it drop.

"Let's just try to get this situation cleared up quickly," he said, completely devoid of emotion. He found that he needed to detach himself in order to get through this. He couldn't let himself think about what he was putting his family through. He couldn't think about what his mother had been through if she really has been alive all this time. He was a ball of emotions and he just kept exploding on Jade, accusing her and questioning her motives. He remembers that she was just about ready to hit him before he realized that he shouldn't be taking this out on her and stopped.

They spent two days scouting outside of Hill's home before catching a glimpse of her. When he saw her, it was like a fire suddenly lit inside of him. Looking back, he's afraid that maybe it was just lack of sleep, but, at the time, he was convinced it was her. It took all of Jade's strength to keep him from running right down to her.

Once Jonny was convinced, Jade brought up the notion of bringing Race in again, but Jonny was still adamant. No less than a 99.9 DNA match was gonna convince him to mention this to his father. He was starting to believe she was alive, but he still had to be sure.

When the car with his mother didn't return that day and they witnessed Hill getting into a car with a suitcase later that evening, they assumed he was headed to another property. With a little effort, they learned that Hill had headed to London, so they made their way there, as well, about a day behind. All of this traveling gave them a lot of time to get to know each other, and Jonny and Jade grew pretty close during everything. They talked a lot, and told each other things that no one else knew. Jonny finally understood her.

He remembers that London was cooler than Paris, and that Hill's London home was much larger. However, he can't remember much else. Everything happened really quickly once they arrived because Jonny wasn't willing to wait any longer. As soon as night fell, they made their way inside the house. It took them almost two hours to make it upstairs. Talk about a psychopath. This guy had more security than the president of the United States.

Jonny almost lost it when he saw her being led up the stairs by that man. Hill had his hand on the small of her back, and Jade had to physically restrain him again. Once they made it upstairs, it was just a matter of avoiding the cameras and figuring out what room she was in, which they figured out by process of elimination.

Like they planned, Jade created a distraction to draw Hill out of the room, and to have the security men running around like chickens with no heads. As soon as Hill was safely down the steps, Jonny made his way into the room. When he came face to face with her, he felt like he'd been hit by a Mac truck. It wasn't her. She looked like her, but it wasn't her. He probably would've fallen to his knees right then and there if she hadn't screamed.

That woke him up, and he was off in a flash to go meet Jade at their rendezvous point. They planned to meet in room six of the Blue Lantern Hotel as soon as possible after they got separated. It took him about an hour to be sure that he'd lost all of Hill's men, and he arrived at the hotel door about the same time as Jade.

"Jonny?" she immediately questioned out of breath, but he didn't acknowledge her.

Neither of them spoke again until their plane landed in Maine. Jonny was like a zombie, and she couldn't get through no matter how hard she tried.

"You didn't have to come all the way back with me," he suddenly voiced, as they stepped off the plane she had chartered under one of her many aliases. He could tell that she was surprised that he had said anything at all.

"I wanted to," she told him, and then pulled him into a hug that he willingly reciprocated. "I'm sorry," she breathed, and he knew she meant it.

"I know," he told her. "I know that you meant well, it's just hard," he said slowly. He wasn't looking forward to facing his family on top of everything else. "Still promise that you won't tell Race?" he asked.

"Yeah I promise," she told him. Then she kissed him on the cheek and got back on the plane.

Since that day, they haven't really seen too much of each other, but he knows they share a special bond. He knows she would never hurt him on purpose.

As Jonny stepped foot on the Compound again, he realized that he must look like he really has been missing for a week. He had cuts all over him, and a strained left ankle that was not easy to walk on. He was hoping to be able to come home and tell everyone the whole truth, but he was gonna have to go with plan B and keep up his lie instead.

He planned to tell everyone that he was chloroformed by someone in the woods, and woke up in a locked room. He wasn't gonna offer much detail. He'd just say that he didn't remember much, and he'd act traumatized. He remembers thinking when he considered this plan that he was gonna be in trouble trying to pretend around Jessie, but it turned out that he didn't have to pretend at all. He felt like he had lost her all over again, and it was killing him.

As he walked along the beach to make is way home, he realized that IRIS must still be blind to his actions or else the family would have descended upon him by now.

He didn't make it very far before he was stopped in his tracks. She was so beautiful. She was sitting in the sand with her head on her knees, and her shoulders were shaking. Was she crying? She was breaking his heart.

"Jessie," he called out softly, and her head shot straight up. They just stared at each other for a moment, and then a fresh wave of tears began to pour down her face. She didn't say a word. She just made a strangled noise, and then launched herself into his arms. She felt like heaven, and he held onto her like a lifeline. He did the best he could to try and clam her down, but she wouldn't stop shaking. He hated that he was the cause of this.

That guilt coupled with everything else he'd been through that week caused him to break. Without warning, he dropped to his knees, taking her with him, and began sobbing like a child. He tried to stop, but he couldn't. He just held her tighter, afraid that he lose gonna lose her too. He knows that he scared her because she stopped crying as soon as he started, and just kept trying to figure out what was wrong.

"J, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt?" she asked with fear in her voice. He couldn't bring himself to answer

She was eventually able to pull back a little and hold his head in her hands for a second, but he refused to look her in the eye. He just kept crying, so she just resigned her self to holding him tight and rocking back and forth slightly. Jonny can't remember how long he cried for. He just remembers never wanting to let her go. When he finally did, however, she hit him with another barrage of questions.

She must have realized that he couldn't answer though, because she eventually just kissed his forehead and told him that the only thing that mattered was that he was safe. Jonny doesn't think he's ever been hugged so much in his life as he was that day. Even Race held onto him for a while. He didn't cry again, but he was clearly exhausted, which helped him escape all the questions for one night.

He remembers that he fell asleep pretty easily that night and had no dreams, but that was the only solid night he got for months afterwards. The days following his return were pretty tense. His dad was clearly upset with Race, and everyone was getting really frustrated that Jonny wouldn't talk or answer any questions.

Jonny just stuck to his story. After a few weeks, everything went back to normal and his family stopped hassling him for answers. There's not a doubt in his mind, however, that Jessie knows there's more to the story. He's still so grateful that she let it go.

_Present_

And now that everything is finally supposed to be getting back to normal for him, Jade has returned to blow his life up again, and he can't stop it. He's just glad that no one will be around tonight so he won't have to sneak around. Plus, Jade said that they were only sixty miles away, which means it could really be done without him having to lie about his whereabouts at all. It'll just require a few sleepless nights of sneaking out, but there's nothing new there.

As much as he doesn't want to deal with all of this again, Jonny's determined to handle it better. He's not gonna let false hope take a hold of him this time, and he's not gonna break down.

When he sees the sun coming down behind the water, Jonny figures that he should get back to the Compound to complete his cleaning efforts. However, going back to that empty house is really the last he wants to do right now. Just thinking about it causes an overwhelming feeling of dread and loneliness to well up inside of him.

As he walks through his front door, the smell of pot roast smacks him in the face. The smell makes him realize how hungry he really is, and he allows a small smile to come to his face. He wasn't expecting Mrs. Evans to come and cook for him tonight, but he's so glad she did.

He went straight to the kitchen to thank her, and there it was. His eternal comfort and sweetest complication all rolled up into one and dressed in an apron.

"Jessie," he breathed out in shock.


	10. Working it Out

He was so surprised to see her that words weren't even forming in his mind, let alone at his lips. It's been almost four months since she left, but it feels like no time has passed at all the moment he lays eyes on her.

"Jessie," he breathes out again. "What are you doing here?" He can't help but grin and forget all of his problems for a little when he sees her face light up at his arrival.

Jessie never answered his question because she was too preoccupied with the overwhelming thought of how good it was to see him. She knew that she had missed him terribly while she was away, but didn't really comprehend the true extent of those feelings until she was in the same room with him again.

She didn't even bother taking off her dirty apron as she made her way towards him. It wasn't important. Her arms were around his neck before he could say another word, and he just held onto her like he did that day two years ago. It's almost crazy the way she calms him.

While hugging her, he releases a long breath that he didn't even realize he was holding, and relaxes right into her embrace. They were definitely holding each other longer than they ever would've dared had they not been alone, but neither made any move to let go.

"Hi," he eventually whispered softly into her hair. She smelled like watermelon, and he felt a rush go through him when she smiled against his neck in response.

"Hi, yourself" she eventually replied, reluctantly pulling away to meet his eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked, immediately recognizing that something wasn't right with him. He hated that she knew him so well sometimes.

"I'm just surprised to see you," he started. "Really happy, just surprised" he added.

"Liar," she accused softly, pushing at his chest lightly to try and prod a real answer out of him.

"Can we talk about it a little later. Maybe tomorrow?" he asked, knowing better than to ask her to just let it go.

Jessie hesitated, but then agreed. Normally, she would've made him talk it out, but something told her to give him some space for now even though she really didn't want to.

"Hungry then?" she asked, smiling again. She was just so happy to finally be home.

"Uh…well," Jonny started, and then began to scratch the back of his head. Jessie wasn't the best cook in the world. "I'm good,' he told her.

"Oh stop it. I know you think that I can't cook, but I really can Hotshot. So just sit down and give me a chance," she asked. "Please," she added.

He couldn't say 'no' to her, so he sat down with a purposely overdramatic sigh and waved a cloth napkin that was on the table in the air. She giggled and shook her head at his antics, as she continued to prepare dinner.

It wasn't easy for Jonny to just sit around and pretend like nothing's wrong around her. His mind is completely jumbled up. He knows he can tell her everything, he just doesn't know if he should. She'd never let him go off and do this without her, of that he's absolutely positive. He's also positive that he doesn't want her to come. It'd break his heart to lose his mother again, but he unfortunately knows that he can handle it. Losing Jessie would be totally different.

As he watches her prepare dinner for the two of them, he can't help but fantasize that this could become a daily occurrence. Not her cooking for him necessarily, because he knows that would never happen. It's just that he suddenly finds the whole domesticity of the moment really appealing. Taking care of each other, and sharing their day over a meal. He knows in that moment that he'd die if something happened to her. She's not going, but now he has a huge problem. He's gonna have to figure out a way to cover up so that she can't tell he's lying about what's bothering him. He just hopes he can figure out a way to do that without causing too much damage.

Meanwhile, Jessie's lost in her own thoughts. It's not easy for her to keep her promise to talk about whatever's bothering him later, but she decides that she'll give him until tomorrow to come clean. Then all bets are off. She just hopes that he's not acting like this because of the fight they had, or because she's been away for so long. She knows that change is an inevitable and inescapable part of life, but it'd hurt her beyond words if the bond between them were to weaken at all, regardless of the reason, but especially if that reason is as inconsequential in the grand scheme of her life as Jordan Matthews. Their bond is her touchstone, and she needs it. She can feel herself begin to well up at this train of thought, and doesn't realize that Jonny just asked her a question. Damn this man and the way she gets so emotional just thinking about him, when she has such amazing control over her emotions in any other situation.

"What are you doing here?" he asks a second time, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"Huh?" she replies, a little surprised to hear his voice and confused by the question.

"I thought you weren't getting in until tomorrow," he said. "Not that I'm complaining," he added with a smile. "I'm glad you're home."

"It's good to be home," she said, her heart contracting at the way he was smiling at her. "Well, you know I finished all of my exams yesterday. I packed my stuff up right after, and I didn't really want to wait around another day for my Dad and everyone to come pick me up on their way home, so I just flew commercial. Besides, I wanted to surprise you. I thought it'd be fun to catch up before anyone else gets here, and I wanted to talk to you about a few things anyway," she finished slowly.

"Jordan?" he asked intuitively with a little bit of distain in his voice. Jonny didn't want to talk about the guy, but was glad that the topic of conversation was moving far away from him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him," she apologized, making sure she had his eyes. "I swear I wasn't keeping it from you on purpose or anything. I've just been so confused about the whole thing, and my mom hasn't really made things any easier on me. I'm just really…," and out of nowhere she stopped talking, put her hands over her face, and her shoulders began to shake violently.

"Jessie," he started, surprised by her unexpected outburst. She never cries. 'What is going on today?' he finds himself thinking. He was out of his chair as soon as he realized that she was upset, but when he tried to wrap her in his arms, she pushed him away and began to swipe at her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again, and turned away from him to begin grabbing the silverware from the drawers. "I'm being so stupid right now."

Jessie can't believe that she let herself break down. She's so embarrassed, but can't stop shaking for some reason.

"Please don't cry," she suddenly heard in her ear, as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He hesitated at first, afraid that the embrace may be inappropriate, but decided that he didn't care when he saw that she hadn't stopped shaking. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he continued. "It's not like you're required to tell me every detail of your life. I had no right to get angry the way that I did, and I'm the one that's sorry. I was an idiot, and I feel like a fool. I'm only mad at myself, and I'm lucky that you're not mad at me," and then he paused for a moment as if in thought. "Unless you are mad at me, and that's why you cooked," he said with a laugh.

He felt her laugh against him and automatically backed up a bit, afraid of what his reaction may be. He placed his hands on the counter on either side of her, and waited patiently for her to turn around. When she finally did, he could see that she was still mad at herself.

"I'm still sorry though," she said.

"Me too," he echoed, and they both smiled. "Come here," he told her, and then proceeded to give her a huge hug. The ones that make her feel safe, like when she was a little girl in her father's arms.

"I missed you," she said into his chest.

"I think I missed you more," he said honestly, placing his head on top of hers.

She just smiled and didn't argue with him for once.

"Ready to eat?" she asked after a few moments, pulling away.

"As I'll ever be," he told her theatrically.

"Shut it," she replied playfully, pushing him towards the table.

"I'm going, I'm going," he said. "Are you gonna serve me?" he questioned with a laugh.

"Just this once Hotshot, so don't get used to it," she chuckled.

Once Jessie had everything set, they ate in silence for a few minutes until Jonny couldn't take it anymore. Despite everything that was going on with his mom, he still couldn't shake the idea of Jessie and Jordan, or maybe that was just a good excuse to keep him distracted. Either way, he had to ask.

"So," he started slowly. "How did you break the news to Jordan that Rockport beat out the Hamptons for Christmas break?" he asked, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

"He was disappointed," she began. "And he was pushing me pretty hard to change my mind, but you know how I am when I make up my mind and someone tries to change it," she finished with a look he knew all too well.

"Uh…yeah," he said. "I think hell on wheels may be an understatement," he smiled. "I have a few scars thanks to making that mistake."

"And I like you," she finished with a grin. He couldn't help but smile at that.

"How did your mom take it then?" he asked hesitantly.

"Much worse," she deadpanned.

"Wanna elaborate?" he replied.

"Not really," she told him. "I think I've reached my crying limit for the evening."

"Come on J," he softly prompted, and she broke down

"She's so stubborn, Jonny. Half the time I feel like I can't even talk to her. She was so unbelievably mad at me for not going, and it sucks because I never agreed to go in the first place." She paused for a moment to take a breath. "She just has this whole idea in her head of how my life should go, and I don't agree. She assumed that I was going, but never even asked me if I wanted to. It's so frustrating because I don't to disappoint her, but I think she's being so unreasonable. Don't you?" she asked.

"Why is she so interested in your love life all of a sudden," he questioned.

"She always has been," she started.

"You've never complained about it before," he countered.

"I know, but it's never really been an issue before," she started. "I mean I didn't date much in high school, and I only had minimum contact with the guys she was always trying to push on me. It's a whole different ball game now that I'm older and go to the same school as her star pick," she sighed.

"Why can't you just sit her down and set her straight. I know that'll be hard in the moment, but it'll be worth it in the end," he suggested.

"You know, as sad as it is, I think getting her into a room to talk for a few minutes would be even harder to accomplish than convincing her to but out," she told him. "Besides, there's no changing her mind. You don't know her like I do. Even if I could get her to talk about it, I don't think I would," she admitted.

"Why the hell not?" he asked.

"It's complicated," she told him.

"I have all night and more if you need it," he replied.

"Thanks," she smiled, almost forgetting how lucky she was to have him as a best friend. "I wouldn't say anything because I know how she is. She'll get all defensive, and won't back down. Then I'll get angry and tell her exactly what I really think about the whole situation, and she won't understand. She'll just get angry, leave, and probably not want to see me for a while," she finished sadly.

"She's your mom," he stated matter-of-factly. "I don't think she would get that upset over a difference of opinion on a guy," he told her practically.

"She has her heart set on him J," she responded, clearly stressed.

"Why him though?" he asked.

"I already told you why, but it's bigger than that," she said before she could stop herself. She didn't really want to get into this any further, but knew that he was gonna ask what she meant by that and she couldn't lie.

"What do you mean bigger?" he questioned.

Jessie was quiet for about a minute as she tried to think about how she wanted to word this. It felt like an eternity to Jonny

"Ok," she finally started. "My mom kinda has this stupid idea that she needs to save me, and thinks that Jordan is the perfect way to do it," she spit out in a rush.

"Save you from what?" he asked, but was pretty sure that he already knew the answer.

"From making the same mistakes that she supposedly did," she said.

"You mean your dad?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah," she said. "But it's so stupid," she quickly added. "I'm not her, you know."

Jonny felt like he'd been punched in the gut for the second time that day. He always knew that her mom probably thought he was everything she shouldn't get involved with, but it's now clear to him how much Jessie really cares about what her mother thinks. This wouldn't even be an issue if she didn't. He tried hard not to let any of this show on his face, but doesn't think he succeeded. He was too tired from the events of the day to put up much of an effort.

"So…um," he started, trying to get the conversation back on track. "What is it that you really think of the situation, and are afraid to tell your mother?" he asked.

"That she's a total hypocrite basically," she said heatedly, angry at her mother for a number of reasons at the moment. Mainly, the look on Jonny's face. "I'm gonna get upset at her, and let her know how hypocritical she's being. I mean, she shipped me off to live with my father when I was six. Totally uprooted me because she couldn't handle me on her digs, and now it's like she resents the fact that this is home. That I love my father, and that we're all one big totally unconventional, but happy, family. I love my mother, but I think it's wrong of her to get upset with me for wanting to spend Christmas the same way I've been spending it for the last twelve years. I wanna be here when we decorate the tree, and you run around singing like an idiot. I wanna spend Christmas Eve by the fire watching movies, and I wanna open gifts with you guys on Christmas morning. I understand that she wants to spend that time with me too, but she's asking me to break traditions that I love, and that developed because of her decision to leave me with my father in the first place. It's a catch 22, which is why I'm so frustrated. There's no solution to make everyone happy," she finished with a groan.

"Come on," he said, suddenly jumping up out of his seat and extending is hand to her. She looked like she needed a break, and he knew that he did. "Let's go," he coaxed. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" she asked, taking his hand tentatively.

"Do you trust me?" he questioned with a smile.

"Yeah Aladdin," she joked. "But I still wanna know where you're taking me."

"Well it's a surprise so you're gonna have to be patient," he said, as he grabbed their jackets and his keys and led her out the front door.

She asked him no less than five more times to tell her where they were going, but he refused to budge.

"Will you just be a little patient for once in your life…Jeez," he finally said in almost a whisper. "Just relax and enjoy the ride."

They rode in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts again. Jessie was worried about her mom and Jonny was worried about thinking of a convincing lie to tell Jessie so she didn't find out about his. Jonny knows Jessie better than he knows himself, however, and realized that if he didn't start talking again soon she'd ask him what was wrong again. It didn't matter that she promised to wait. Later was defiantly gonna be sometime tonight, and he wasn't ready yet.

"So is your mom still going to the Hamptons for Christmas then?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Did you ask her to come spend it with us? I don't think I've even seen her in like two years. I think your parents can put aside their differences for one day, right?" he inquired hopefully.

"I've already asked her," Jessie admitted. "I ask her every year, which is probably why she tried to preempt my invitation with the whole Hamptons thing this year," Jessie said.

"I didn't know you asked her every year," he replied, a little shocked that she never mentioned it.

"Well, I really don't like to think about the fact that my mom won't even try to spend this day with me unless it's on her terms. It doesn't make me feel very good," she said quietly.

Jonny could see out of the corner of his eye that she was breathing a little heavily and clutching the material of her jeans, so he removed one hand from the steering wheel and laced his fingers with hers. After a small smile from her and a reassuring squeeze from him, she continued.

"Can you see why I get so angry at her? I feel like I'm being the more mature one," she breathed.

"Not to be repetitive or anything," he started. "But this clearly bothers you a lot, so I don't really understand why we haven't talked about it before," he finished.

"Jonny," she began, but then closed her mouth.

"What is it? Just tell me," he said.

"I just don't...," but she stopped again, not really wanting to discuss this with him.

Jonny knew that he was getting unjustifiably angry at her again , but couldn't help it. When she doesn't confide in him, it makes him feel like they're growing apart, which hurts him. However, instead of voicing that fear, he gets angry with her to cover it up.

"Ya know, thinking that you don't trust me doesn't make me feel very good," he echoed her earlier words.

"This has nothing to do with trust," she yelled. "I just don't wanna talk about it, ok?"

"Fine," he answered, releasing her hand and gripping the wheel tightly.

Silence overtook the car again, but not for very long.

"Sorry," he apologized tightly, realizing he was the one being a hypocrite now because he expected her to confide in him, when he was trying to think of a way to lie to her about his problem.

"You know this has nothing to do with trust, right?" she asked.

"What does it have to do with then?" he asked. "I can understand not wanting to talk about something, believe me. I just…All I want is to make you feel better, and I don't think not talking is gonna accomplish that" he told her honestly.

He said that so sweetly that she couldn't not say anything, and she couldn't lie, so she just told him the truth.

"Ok, the truth is that I don't really feel like it's fair of me, or that I have any right, to complain about my mother to you," she started. "The truth is, you're probably the main reason that I even still try so hard with her. I'm just as stubborn as she is, and some of the things she's pulled and said to me could have easily caused me to write her off. If she was any other person I would have, but then I think about you. I think about what you would say to me, and I think you would tell me how lucky I am to have her to fight with, and that life is short and you never know what's gonna happen, so I should try to work it out. And then I do work it out until the next problem arises, and then I think about you and work it out again. So you see you do help me, you just didn't know it," she finished softly.

Jonny's a little speechless. He understands now why she didn't want to tell him that, but is still glad that she did.

"You don't ever have to be afraid to tell me something," he told her in response, and then looked her in the eye for a moment. "I know that you'd never hurt me on purpose like I know nothing else, ok?"

She just nodded with a lump in her throat, and grabbed his hand again.

"So where are we going?" she asked again once she found her voice.

"Jessie," he breathed in exasperation, and they both began to laugh.

Ten minutes later, they reached their destination, and he reluctantly released her hand to pull his keys out of the ignition.

"I thought maybe we could get an early start on those traditions," he said. She just smiled, kissed his cheek, and jumped out of the car, making her way towards the myriad of Christmas trees before her.

Thirty minutes later, and about ten degrees colder, they still had not found 'the' tree. Jessie has always had very high standards for their family tree, and the term 'Christmas Tree Nazi' has been thrown around more than once. She never stopped smiling for a second of the thirty minutes though, so Jonny would have gladly put up with thirty more.

"No, it doesn't have enough character," he heard her tell the sales guy. He couldn't help but laugh quietly, glad he wasn't that dude.

"Hey Ace," he suddenly interrupted, putting his arms around her neck and pulling her slightly against him. "I'll be right back," he whispered in her ear.

She just nodded, enjoying the feel of his embrace.

"Take care of her my man," he said to the sales guy, as he walked away.

He made sure that he was out of her sight path before pulling out his phone, and dialing the number from memory.

"10:00, I know. I'll be there," Jade answered a little irritably.

"Well, it looks like you're gonna get your way for now because I can't come tonight," he replied, just as annoyed.

"Why?" she asked, totally surprised.

"Jessie showed up tonight, and she can already tell that I'm not acting normal" he told her. "I have to think of something to tell her, and I have no idea what that's gonna be, but I can't come tonight. I do trust you to do it alone, I just wanted to be there," he said

"Just lie," she deadpanned. "You did it last time."

"It's not that easy," he said. "She can tell when I'm lying or up to something. The only reason I got away with it last time was because she wasn't around when I first found out, and I just didn't talk about it at all afterwards. She's always known there's more to the story though. She just let it go for once. She won't do that a second time. The only thing I can think to do at the moment is to start a fight with her, so that all she can see is her anger at me, and not realize that I was hiding something until it's all over. I don't really want to do that though," he finished.

"So tell her then," Jade suggested.

"No," he said.

"You're more stubborn than Race, you know that," she told him.

"I'll be there tomorrow night," he said, ignoring her comment. "We'll just have to leave a little later probably. What time can I call you tonight?" he asked.

"Whenever. If I don't answer there's a reason," she said. "So she must be pretty important to you then?" she asked with a smile.

"She's my mother," he said incredulously.

"I meant Race's little girl, stud," she replied. "I didn't think Judgment Day could keep you away tonight."

"Yeah, well you've never seen Jessie angry," he said half-heartedly. "I just don't want her to know about this, and she's not as easy for me to get around as Race. There's no where else I'd rather be than helping you tonight," he finished.

"Somehow, I don't totally believe that," she said, and then hung up before he could respond.

Jonny was angry because she was right. As much as he wanted to, and felt like he should, be going with her tonight, it was also the last thing he wanted to be dealing with for a lot of reasons. Before he could get lost contemplating any of those reasons, however, he decided that he better get back to Jessie. If nothing else, making her happy was a better distraction than most.

When he found her again, he didn't have to worry about putting on a fake smile. The huge grin on her face was enough to produce a real one from him, which he was thankful for.

"Isn't it perfect," she said, as she came bounding up to him.

"It must be if you like it this much," he said with a laugh.

"Let's get this baby home," she said brightly.

The tree she selected was enormous. It took the both of them plus the sales guy to get it on top of the car.

"You watch her while I go pay the man," he told her, after they had it strapped down securely.

Once inside to pay, the salesman made a comment that Jonny wasn't really sure how to take, but let it go for a change.

"She sure is something, huh?" the guy had said.

"You have no idea," Jonny replied, as he made his way back to the car.

She was leaning against the driver's side waiting for him, and jumped into his arms once he was close enough. He just laughed and pulled her closer.

"Thanks," she said.

"Anytime," he told her, pulling away with a wink.

"My mom just doesn't get this," she said when they were on their way.

"So why won't she come over for just the day?" he asked, and Jessie just shrugged. "Hand over your phone. I can be very convincing."

"Not that's ok," she said.

Then Jonny asked something that had been on his mind for quite a while.

"Your mom doesn't like me very much, does she?" he questioned.

"What?" she asked, totally thrown off by that. "Of course she does," she replied automatically."

"Ok," he said with a smile. "Then why didn't she come over last Christmas?" he asked. "Race was in Texas taking care of your grandma, so clearly something else kept her away," he stated. "And I don't think it was you, Hadji, or my dad, so…"

"It _was_ me actually," she said. "We got into an argument and I told her not to come."

"What was the fight about?" he asked, but she didn't answer.

"Was it about me?" he inquired knowingly.

Jessie felt like she was about to cry again. She never realized that Jonny had been picking up on her mother's ludicrous dislike.

"Did she say something when you were talking to her a few weeks ago," she asked angrily.

"No," he told her. "I'm just not as clueless about it as I pretend to be," he admitted.

"Why have you been pretending then," she asked.

"I didn't want to put you in an awkward position," he told her honestly. "But I think this is getting a little ridiculous…"

"It's always been ridiculous," she interrupted. "She has no basis for any of it."

"She thinks I'm just like Race, right?"

"Yeah, and you are in a lot of ways," she answered. "But you're also a lot like your father, and you're totally different from both of them in ways. You're not my father, but even if you were exactly like him, so what, I love my father," she said. "I honestly think that my mom sometimes resents the fact that I love my father. I think she dislikes you because she thinks you're like him and I spend so much time with you. It's like an indirect extension of dislike," she lied.

"Or maybe she's afraid you're gonna get involved with me," he suggested bravely. He can't believe that he said it.

Jessie couldn't believe it either. He really was a lot more in tuned than she had been giving him credit for.

Both of their hearts were beating a mile a minute. It's a good thing they were at a red light because Jonny doesn't think he could drive and anticipate her reaction.

Jessie shrugged again as she turned to catch his eye. "She doesn't get to choose who I fall in love with," she said simply.

Still holding her eye, Jonny was about to say something while he still had his nerve, but a loud honk brought him out the moment. 'God damn green light,' he thought, as he continued the drive home.


	11. Confessions

When they got home, it took almost an hour to get the tree in the house and set up the way Jessie wanted, but Jonny had to admit that it looked pretty good once they were done.

"Do you think the others would get mad if we started decorating without them?" she asked. "It might be nice to have it all set up with the lights on when they get home tomorrow night," she suggested.

"I don't think they'd mind at all," he said. "Let's do it." It was another distraction for him, and a way to keep her smiling, so it was perfect. "I'll start grabbing all the decorations, we might as well do the whole house," he said, as he made his way towards the stairs so he could get up to the attic.

"I'll get the music," she screamed excitedly, and stormed past him on the stairs about two seconds later. He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.

It took about thirty trips between the two of them to get all of the decorations out of the attic, but time flew once they started setting everything up. Surprisingly enough, Jonny only got scolded twice for the unthinkable crime of putting a decoration in the wrong spot under the Nazi's reign. It was almost eleven o'clock before they even got to the tree, and that was a project and a half on its own.

"It's so beautiful," Jessie said smiling, as Jonny put the star on top about an hour later.

"Well you got great taste, Ace. It does look pretty amazing," he admired as he sat down on the couch to look at it with her. 'Deck the Halls' was playing in the background.

They enjoyed the atmosphere that they had created for a few moments before Jessie turned to him with a grin.

"So," she started, and rubbed her hands together.

"So," he countered, turning to her, as well.

"What's this Christmas present you got me, huh?" she asked playfully.

Jonny felt his face fall, and couldn't hide it. He had totally forgotten about that with everything else that's been going on, and now she's caught him completely off guard.

"It's only December 19th," he tried to recover. "Why would I tell you about it now?" he asked.

"Whatever," she started. "I saw that face. You got nothing," she laughed. "Why do you always wait until the last second? You say you're gonna do it sooner every year, but every year you end up in the mall, going crazy, two days before Christmas. And you drive me insane right along with you," she accused.

"Hey, nobody makes you come," he defended.

"Oh yeah right, like you would ever let me get away with that," she argued right back.

"I'm just damn charming," he told her. "It's not my fault that you can't say no to me," he grinned.

"Don't make me hurt you, Jonny. I'll…"

"And I did get you something by the way," he interrupted before she could get all fired up.

"Ok," she said disbelievingly.

"You want it now," he said, before he could chicken out.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'll just sit here and brace myself," she finished, still not believing that he had something real. If anything, she thought he was gonna give her something stupid right now, like a Wet Willy. In any case, she was positive that he'd be giving her something that'd require bracing. So she was a little surprised when he got to his feet.

"I'll be right back," he said.

"Oh God," he heard her voice carry up the stairs behind him.

Now he had a huge decision to make. He could take a chance, or he could take the out. He knew she wasn't really expecting something real tonight. He could easily get around this again. Once he reached his room, he closed the door behind him and leaned against it with a sigh.

"Oh god, what should I do?" he asked himself.

Without even thinking about it, he had made his way over to the side drawer, pulled out that velvet box for the thousandth time, and stared at it. Then he opened the box and the locket to see the pictures inside. The one of his mother and father at Disneyland that he's stared at for hours, and the one he'd put in a few days ago. It was his favorite picture of him and Jessie, which he took great care to digitally reduce to fit in the locket. It was of the two of them from three Christmases ago. They were in their pajamas in front of the fireplace because they had just finished opening their presents. Jessie was behind him with her arms wrapped around his neck and her check against his. They both had huge grins on their faces. Jonny remembers that moment as if it were yesterday because this was the first picture they'd taken together after he had realized he was in love with her. It was perfect.

Staring at it again, he felt a sudden wave of determination flow through him. He's waited three years. Hell, he's waited twelve years, and he can't wait any loner. He needs to know how she feels either way. If nothing else, Jade showing up has proven to him yet again that life is completely unpredictable, and it's stupid to waste time just because you're scared. Besides, if she doesn't feel the same way, then he really needs to work on getting over it because that won't be easy in any sense of the word.

With a very deep breath, he began to slowly make his way back downstairs. Even though he's lived this moment, and this conversation, countless times in his mind, and even though he's imagined every possible outcome, he still has no idea what he's gonna say to her.

'I guess I'm about to find out if winging it is a good idea,' he suddenly realized. 'Just don't chicken out this time no matter what,' he tried to convince himself, as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

'Holy shit,' was the last thought that went through his mind when he entered the living room and saw her.

"What do you have behind your back," she laughed. "Don't make me hurt you."

'I don't think you're gonna hurt me physically,' he thought, as he sat down next to her again. At least, he hoped that he didn't have to worry about that too. He was careful to slip the box between the couch cushions behind him so that she wouldn't be able to see anything.

"You look like you're about to puke, J. What's going on?" she asked.

"I'm fine…I just…Ok," he breathed. "I know that we joke around a lot, but I really do have something for you, and um…," but then he stopped and let out a frustrated sigh. Winging it, he decided, was definitely not the correct approach, but he doesn't think he can convincingly talk himself out of this now either.

Meanwhile, Jessie's voice is caught in her throat and her heart is pounding in her ears. Just like it always does when she thinks he might finally make a move. He's looking at everything in the room right except her, and he keeps opening his mouth to no avail. She can tell he's nervous about something.

'Maybe I should just go for it,' she thought. 'Just kiss him and see what reaction I get. I can always say I was just kidding if it doesn't work out the way I want,' she reasoned with herself, but decided against it as always. She couldn't put her heart out there unless she was absolutely sure he wanted it.

Jonny, on the other hand, was trying to give himself a pep talk, grateful that she was giving him a moment without asking what was wrong. 'Just tell her the truth,' he told himself. 'And then see where it goes from there.'

"Ok," he started again. "So, I got an interesting package a few months ago for my birthday. Uh…It was from my mom," he said.

"What?" she asked, now at full attention.

"Yeah, I was surprised too," he said slowly, trying pretty unsuccessfully not to think about his mother too much.

"What was it?" she asked, a little shocked that he hadn't mentioned this before. "Was there a letter or anything explaining?"

"There was a letter," he began. "She wrote it pretty much right after I was born I think. I guess she just wanted to make sure I knew some things in case she wouldn't be here to tell me. It was a pretty good idea actually. I mean, sometimes having it makes me sad because I think of everything I've missed out on, but mostly I see it as an amazing gift. It's pretty ridiculous…," he started to say, but then let out a long breath, looked down, and swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat.

"What's ridiculous," she asked softy, lifting his head up with her hand so he was looking at her again.

He smiled at her a little before continuing. He really had no idea where his mind was at the moment, but it certainly wasn't attached to his mouth because he hadn't intended to tell her all this. It was too late to stop now though.

"It's ridiculous," he began again. "It's ridiculous that I learned more about my mom from a single piece of paper than I have from anything else in the last twelve years," he stopped, but then started back up again before she could say a word.

"It's ridiculous that I can't talk about her, or ask questions about her," he continued. "Sometimes it feels like she never even existed at all. Like it was an entirely different lifetime when I still had her," he finished so sadly that it broke Jessie's heart.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it," she said softly, grabbing both of his hands.

"I didn't and I don't," he said almost angrily, but then took it down a notch. "Maybe getting the letter made me feel guilty for that. It's confusing. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel"

The truth is that he didn't know how to talk about her for the first few years. It was still too raw for his father and grandfather. After that, he just didn't want to. Not because he didn't care, but because it was just less painful if he didn't think about her. When Jade showed up the first time, he felt really guilty that he'd tried to forget about her for so many years. Then, when he lost her the second time, he doubled his efforts to never think, or talk, about her because it was even more painful for him at that point. He's now back to major guilt again, but is steadfastly trying to convince himself that Jade is wrong so that he won't have to start this whole process over again. However, he can't ignore that tiny little voice shouting 'just maybe' in the back of his head. That little voice is driving him crazy.

"You're allowed to feel however you want," she interrupted his thoughts. "She was your mother."

'Was…is…was…is, which one is it?' Jonny couldn't help but think, as he took a few more steadying breaths.

"Do you wanna tell me what the letter said?" she asked. She couldn't help herself. She's always wanted Jonny to open up to her about this. It's the final wall to break down so that she can truly see all of him. Plus, Jessie's always been fascinated by his mother, and the unbelievable devotion she inspires in her son and Dr. Quest to this day. She's still so precious to them that they can barely mention her name without looking as if they'd just gone ten rounds.

"It's more how it was written than what was actually written," he started slowly. "She didn't really say that much. It's only a page long. She said that the day I was born was the happiest of her life," and he smiled at that.

"I'm sure it was," she responded sweetly, brushing the back of her hand against his cheek for a moment, and then taking his hand again.

"She mostly talked about what she shared with my dad though. I mean it's clear to me that what they had must have been pretty damn amazing. I don't think I've ever seen my dad even look at another woman, and I don't doubt for a second that he loves her as much today as he always did," Jonny said.

"I don't doubt that either," Jessie confirmed.

"Reading what my mother wrote though," he continued, but then stopped for a moment to find the right words. "It made it so palpable for me, you know. I can feel how much she loved him…how much she loved us just from reading it. That's why I said it's more about how it was written. I've read it so many times that I have it memorized," he laughed a little. "It makes her feel real to me," and then he stopped again to try and figure out where he was going with this.

As much as Jessie wanted to say something, she didn't want to interrupt him. So she just sat there and continued to hold his hands and rub her thumbs across his palms, while waiting for him to start talking again.

"I hate that you're so far away," he said quietly, without looking at her. "And I hate even more how far away you feel sometimes, especially when we're fighting. I realize that we're both growing up and changing, but I don't think that means we have to grow apart. I don't want us to," he admitted.

"Neither do I," she said quickly, glad to hear that he didn't want that either, and wanting to make sure he knew that she felt the same way.

"I'd actually been thinking about that before the letter even came," he said. "I couldn't help it the whole summer before you left. I didn't want things to change. But, I mean, a change can be really good sometimes, right?" he ventured.

"Definitely," she agreed, hoping he'd get to his point sooner rather than later.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I do realize that I'm making no sense right now."

"Tell me what's going on," she said. "It's just me."

"You're not _just_ anything," he said immediately, getting caught in her eyes for a moment, and then carried on in an unwavering voice. "Above all else, I think my parents were best friends. The bond between them that my mom talked about, she said that she hoped I was lucky enough to share that with someone someday. I think…I mean, I know that I share that with you, but I also know that our schedules are gonna be pretty crazy for the next couple of years. We're not gonna get to see each other as much, and we'll be meeting a lot of new people."

Jessie liked how he had started this, but wasn't sure if she liked where it was going.

She couldn't think of anything to say to save her life though.

"Before you left for school a few months ago," he continued. "I wanted to give you something or, at least, say something real that would let you know how important you are to me, but I obviously never found the right time. Like I said before, I know we joke around a lot, but I want you to know that I absolutely cherish that, and everything else about our relationship. If anything, not seeing you for so long has only made that feeling grow," he finished, feeling like telling the truth may be getting him somewhere finally.

Jessie, for her part, squeezed his hands and moved a little closer to him on the couch so that her knee was touching his. They both had one leg on the floor and the other bent Indian style in front of them.

"No matter what happens in this world," he said, looking her right in the eye with confidence. "No matter what happens in our lives. I always wanna be able to call you my best friend," he said sincerely. "My mom told me that on their wedding day my dad snuck in to see her before everything started because he wanted to give her something. A tangible expression of his commitment to her in addition to the traditional wedding ring. You know that I don't really believe in good luck charms or anything, but I believe in this because their connection is still so strong even though she's more than just far away," he said, and then let go of her hands and began to extract the box out from under the couch cushion.

Jessie thought that her heart might explode when she saw the box he was about to give her. Jonny, on the other hand, couldn't believe that this moment had finally come. He hadn't exactly gotten the words 'I love you' out, but thinks that he conveyed how much she means to him, which was almost as good.

"If nothing else," he said while fumbling around with the box. "This is so special to me because it was my mom's," he breathed. "I want you to have it," he told her, as he handed it over with shaking hands.

The hands accepting it were just as shaky. Jessie couldn't even begin to explain how much this gift already meant to her and she hadn't even opened the box yet. She wanted to more than anything, but it was like she was frozen in time. She could only stare at it.

"Aren't you going to open it?" he asked, his confidence quickly fading.

"Huh….yeah," she said in one breath, brought out of her daze by his question, and then she opened it slowly.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered softly, and couldn't take her eyes off of it, but then looked up at him suddenly. "Why are you giving this to me?" she asked just as quietly, still in too much disbelief to talk properly.

"I thought that I told you," he said a little confused, but then tried to explain it a little better. "For a while, I've wanted to give you something to show how much I care about and appreciate you, but I didn't know what to get."

"You could have just told me," she interrupted, finding her voice again.

"Yeah," he laughed, thinking about how many times he's tried to tell her. "That's a lot easier said than done. Anyways, I couldn't get just anything, and then my mom's package showed up, and I thought it was perfect. I thought that when you were away it might be nice to have. I wanted you to have something special that you could look at and know that no matter what there's I guy out there that really cares about you and always will," he finished a little nervously, and then quickly added, "Open it."

"It's a locket?" she asked with a smile, and he just nodded, but then interrupted when she started to open it

"Wait and put it on first. That's how you're supposed to look at it anyway," he said. "I mean, if you wanna wear. Don't just to make me happy or anything. You know…"

"Shut up, and help me put this on," she smiled, and turned around so he could help her. Once he couldn't see her face, she closed her eyes, bit her lip, and grinned. Her heart had never beaten so fast as the moment when that necklace touched her chest, and her hands were shaking again as she turn back towards him and began to open it.

"Jonny, Oh my god," but she couldn't think of anything else to say. It was the most amazing thing she's ever been given. "Thank you, and I will cherish this forever," she whispered, as tears silently fell down her face.

When she went to hug him, she accidentally knocked over both their glasses of soda from the coffee table, but they ignored it.

"Thank you," she whispered again into his ear, and held him closer. "I love it so much."

When they finally pulled back, they leaned their elbows and heads on the back of the couch and just smiled at each other. Jonny took his other hand and wiped the remaining tears from her face, finding it a little hard to concentrate with her sitting so close. He hoped she didn't catch him staring at her lips.

She didn't notice because she was too busy staring at his. "You know," he started with his normal grin. "Any two other people in our position right now would have already…," but she didn't let him finish.

Convinced that she already knew what he was gonna say, she decided to take action and closed in softly on those lips. Jonny was beyond surprised. Her lips felt incredible, but she pulled away before he had much time to respond.

Eyes still closed and mind now in a daze, he finished what he was just about to say without thinking, "…would have cleaned that up by now," referring to the spilled drinks.

Jessie felt her heart sink at those words, and was halfway off the couch before Jonny woke up and pulled her back down

She tried to fight him, but before she could get a word out, he grabbed her head in his hands, and covered her mouth with his again for a lingering moment. "Any two people in our position would have done _that _about three years ago," he breathed against her lips and then claimed them for the third time.

This time, he was the one in control. He continued to hold her head between his hands, rubbing his thumbs along her cheekbones. He kissed her gently, hoping that she could feel that she meant everything to him. It wasn't easy resisting the temptation to intensify the kiss, and it wasn't easy not to get too excited. He's been dreaming about this moment for way too long. So to slow things down a bit, he pulled away from her mouth reluctantly and began kissing her neck. Jessie didn't seem to mind at all. She was just making small noises and letting him have free reign.

That didn't last too long, however, because Jessie likes to be in control. Before he knew it, they were kissing again, and she had pulled herself up to straddle his lap. Jonny could feel the locket fall against his neck as she had to lean down a little to kiss him. He kept his hands firmly on her hips in order to maintain some semblance of control. 'I should have given it to her months ago,' he thought, as he tilted his head a little so that he could deepen the kiss. Their tongues were about to meet when they heard it…

"Kids are you still up," came Race's booming voice from the front door. Jonny doesn't think either of them ever moved so fast. They'd had a lot of practice trying to look innocent when they were caught doing something wrong, but this was the bad.

"Daddy," Jess yelled, and then headed off to intercept him, which Jonny was unbelievably grateful for.

"Hey sweetheart," he said as he pulled her into his big arms. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too," she said as they walked into the living room. Jonny noticed that she had hidden the locket under her sweater, and wasn't sure how he felt about that. In any case, he made sure to kick the box under the couch.

"Hey Cowboy, the place looks good guys. You guys have been busy, huh?" Race asked, seemingly too tired to get suspicious at all.

"Yeah," Jonny replied. "We thought it'd be nice for everyone to come home to. Why are you guys here early and at 1:00 in the morning by the way? Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Everything's fine," Race told them slowly, clearly not totally meaning it. "There was just a change of plans, and we had a few extra pickups so…" he started to explain, but was interrupted.

"There's my girl," they heard, and everyone's head went to the doorway.

"Mom?" Jessie questioned in disbelief, as her mother made her way towards them, and wrapped her in a hug.

Jonny meanwhile just stayed on the couch staring straight ahead. He wasn't really sure how to act around Estella now. He hasn't seen her in forever, and has officially confirmed her dislike, so he's feeling a little weird. He can tell that Race is feeling uncomfortable too, but trying hard to hide it, and he can see the distress on Jessie's face. Seeing the look on her face makes him decide to take a page out of Race's book and just put on a smile so that Jessie's Christmas isn't ruined.

"I'm gonna go help with the bags," Race suddenly chimed in. "I'll be back in a few." Jonny wished that he could leave too.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Jessie asked, still shocked.

"Well, I felt bad because I knew you wanted to spend Christmas here and in the Hamptons," her mother said, and Jonny noticed Jessie roll her eyes, but Estella either didn't see it, or just ignored it, and continued. "So, I called your dad and Dr. Quest to accept your invitation, and thought maybe we could combine the two," she finished happily.

"I'm glad you're here mom," Jessie said a little cautiously, afraid that she had ulterior motives.

"Hey, Estella. It's been a while," Jonny piped in uneasily.

"Oh hi, Jonny. I didn't even notice you there," she said a little too sweetly. "How are you?"

"I'm…" he began, but Estella turned away and cut him off.

"Jessie, I have a surprise for you," she said with a smile.

"What is it?" Jessie asked tightly, remembering all too well why she's kept her mother away from the Compound for the last two years.

"Hey Baby," came another interruption from the doorway and Jessie was surprised yet again.

"Jordan?" she chocked out, hoping he was an illusion.

"It's only been a few hours, but I already missed you so much," Jordan said, as he made his way towards Jessie. "I couldn't wait another month," he said, and then swooped her up in his arms.

Jonny felt like the Earth had been removed from beneath him. It didn't even matter that Jessie appeared none too pleased with the situation. It was still like a punch to the gut to watch her in someone else's arms

"You must be Jonny," he said, releasing Jessie and extending his hand.

"That'd be me," Jonny tried to say lightly, getting up from the couch, and reluctantly taking his hand for a quick shake. "Well it's late," he added quickly after that. "So, I'll let you all catch up and I'll see you tomorrow," he finished, making his way to the door.

"Nite," Jordan said.

Estella didn't say anything, but gave Jonny a fake smile as he exited the room. He never even looked at Jessie, finding himself irrationally angry at her again.

"Jonny wait," she whispered and caught up with him at the bottom of the steps, grabbing his forearm.

"I can't do this with you right now," he replied curtly and tore his arm away.

Then he made his way up the stairs without looking back. He'd already had enough of the Jordan and Jessie show for a lifetime, so he didn't even want to think about having to deal with it for the next week or more.

'Screw them,' he suddenly thought, as he shut his door. 'I have more important things to deal with anyway,' and then he picked up his phone to make the call. 'Damn it, I hope someone cleans up that mess downstairs,' he thought, as the phone continued to ring. 'Or else I'm gonna get shit from Mrs. Evans tomorrow too. Merry Fucking Christmas to me.'


	12. Jessie

In literally zero to sixty, Jessie went from kissing Jonny on the couch, and willing to do a whole lot more, to watching him walk away angry. She stood at the bottom of the steps for a full two minutes after he disappeared at the top of them. She truly couldn't believe this was happening. She was finally getting somewhere with him, and then it all blew up in her face. She was going to kill her mother.

A fire lit under her, Jessie stormed back into the living room to confront her mother. "Mom, can we talk in private…now," she asked, not even trying to hide her annoyance.

"Hey Jess," Jordan interrupted, walking up to her. "You remember my parents, right?" he inquired, pointing out the two smiling individuals sitting in the exact same spot she had been quite happy about ten minutes ago.

"Oh hello," Jessie said politely. "It's so nice to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Matthews."

"It's nice to see you too, sweetheart. And please, it's Suzanne and David," Jordan's mom replied. Jessie just smiled uneasily in response, finding it impossible to focus on much of anything but her desire to work things out with Jonny and to throttle her mother.

Jordan meanwhile had taken Jessie's hand, and was leading her to sit down with him and his parents.

"Jessie," Dr Quest exclaimed, as he walked into the room.

Jessie smiled and made her way to him. She was really happy to see him, but even happier to avoid an awkward situation with Jordan's parents.

"Hi, how are you?" she asked pulling him into a quick hug.

"I'm good," he said. "I can't wait to hear all about your semester, and everything you're learning."

"I can't wait to tell you about it," she said. "I wanna get your input on a couple of projects I'll be starting next semester too."

"I'm all ears," he told her. "How about tomorrow after breakfast? We can go over to the lab, talk about your projects, and I'll update you on mine," he suggested.

"Perfect," she smiled. "Where's Hadj?"

"Oh, he stayed behind to tie up some loose ends. He's gonna meet us in D.C. for the President's party in a few days," Dr. Quest informed her. "He did ask me to give you this though," Dr Quest said, and then gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Jessie just smiled. She really missed Hadji too.

"I'm gonna head up to bed now," he said. "Where's my son?"

"He went up a few minutes ago. I worked him pretty hard as you can see," she said, indicating all of the decorations.

Dr. Quest just smiled and shook his head. "Goodnight. David, Suzanne, and Jordan, would you like me to show you to your rooms?"

"That would be lovely, Dr Quest. Thank you," Suzanne answered immediately, and got up off the couch followed by her husband. "It is rather late. Jessie, sweetheart, we look forward to talking with you tomorrow."

"Sounds good," Jessie replied.

"I think I'm gonna stay down here to catch up with Jessie," Jordan started.

"Oh, I'm about to head up too," Jessie quickly interjected. "I'm totally wiped from my flight and all the decorating. Plus, I still haven't caught up on all the sleep I lost from studying. I just wanna say goodnight to my dad," she finished

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. Nite baby," he smiled, and then leaned in for a kiss that was quickly interrupted by Race's sudden reappearance and desire to clear his throat.

"Nite," she told him flustered, but happy that he was leaving.

Once they were all safely out of ear shot, Jessie rounded on her mother. "What are you trying to pull here?" she asked angrily.

"What are you talking about, sweetie?" she asked innocently, but Jessie wasn't buying it.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well, you did invite me," her mother countered.

"I wouldn't have if I'd known you were gonna try and pull this shit on me," Jessie replied harshly.

"Jessie," her father scolded. "Don't talk to your mother like that."

"Oh please, like you have any room to talk," she shot back.

"Jessica," he yelled.

"I'm sorry alright," Jessie screamed back. "She's driving me crazy though."

"I'm going to bed," Estella announced. "We'll talk in the morning little girl," she finished severely and walked out of the room

"Yes we will," Jessie called after her, now breathing heavily. She can't remember the last time she was this angry. If her father weren't still in the room, she probably would've let herself break down again. Since he was, however, she just resumed her position on the couch and stared into the fire place with a scowl on her face.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Ponchita," Race told her softly, as he sat down beside her on the couch. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with his baby girl when he just got her back.

"I'm sorry too," she apologized. "I really missed you daddy," she told him, and curled up next to him, which made her feel slightly better.

Race kissed her on the head and pulled her a little closer, savoring the moment, as well.

"What's going on?" he asked. He held off on the interrogation about two seconds longer than she expected he would.

Jessie just sighed loudly, really not wanting to discuss it, but knowing that he wouldn't let it go.

"Why didn't you tell me about Jordan?" he asked, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice.

Jessie pulled away and squared her shoulders before answering.

"Because there's nothing to tell," she said, and than asked a question before he could say anything else. "How did mom talk you into this?"

This time it was Race's turn to sigh, as he turned towards her. "Your mom called us a little after the conference was finished, saying that she'd like to spend Christmas in Maine. I almost fell to the floor right there, but she was really sincere and sounded upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that she didn't want to miss anymore holidays with you, which I can understand. I certainly don't like the idea of spending Christmas without you either, but…" and then he paused for a moment before continuing. "You know that I'd never get upset if you wanted to go with your mother for Christmas, right? I'd really miss you, but I'd understand," he finished.

"What did she say to you, dad?" Jessie asked, knowing that her mother was working her father. She was the only woman that ever could, and she took advantage of it.

"Nothing," he started. "She just…"

"Dad, I'm here because this is home. This is where I want to be, and where I want to spend Christmas," Jessie interrupted. "So what did mom say to make you think otherwise?" she demanded.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart," he said. "It's fine," he said angrily.

"No it's not," she fumed. "This is bullshit. I'm sorry, but it is. She's trying to manipulate both of us, and I'm done putting up with it. I'm not gonna let her get away with it anymore. What did she say?"

"Jessie," he started.

"Just tell me," she demanded again. "You think she's stubborn, but I got both of your genes, so just tell me already."

"She just said that you were feeling torn between the two of us, and that you wanted to spend Christmas with her and Jordan's family, but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings here either," he said. "So, she was just trying to compromise and give you the best of both worlds. She said that she wanted to spend as much time with you as possible, so we just left to pick her up right away. We promised each other that we wouldn't fight, and I promised to give your boyfriend a chance," he said slowly, and then held up his hand before she could interrupt. "I know that I'm not easy to talk to about these things, but that's only because I love you more than anything else in the world, Ponchita. I want what's best for you, but I want you to be happy too. So, when you tell me that you really…really like a guy …when it's _the_ guy, you don't have to keep that from me. I will try hard for you, even if it's not easy for me. I'd do anything for you," he finished sincerely.

Jessie couldn't help but smile and hug her father when she heard this. Her biggest fear about falling in love with Jonny has always been that it'd harm his relationship with her father, which she knows is very important to both of them. She doesn't want to come between that. For the first time, however, she can envision herself telling her father how she feels and having him understand, which is probably the only thing that could've put a smile on her face at the moment.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, and he just held on tighter. She knew this was really hard for him. "So what do you think of Jordan?" she asked out of curiosity, and thought it was so adorable when he got an alarmed look in his eye that he quickly covered up.

"He'll…take some getting used to," her father said cautiously.

"Don't worry dad, he's not _the_ guy," Jessie smiled. "Not even close."

"Oh thank God," he breathed, and let out a relieved laugh. "I fucking hate him."

Jessie just giggled because she knew that he would. "Why didn't you say that in the first place then?"

"I thought that you thought he was _the_ guy," he said.

"What?" she asked, and then realization dawned. "MOM," she practically growled. "Do you see why I'm upset with her now? She did the same thing to Jonny. She is just so determined to sell me on this guy, but this is a new low. She even got you in on it. Oh, she's good, but this is ending now. You did talk to Jordan, right?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"Then how could you still think that I liked him that much?" she asked with a shocked expression.

"I _was_ confused by it," he admitted.

"It didn't cross your mind that mom was behind this?" she questioned.

"Of course it did, but I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and I promised not to fight so…," and he just let that statement hang.

"And now everyone gets to be uncomfortable for Christmas. This is just great," she finished angrily. "I'm going to bed," she said frustrated and having no intentions of going to bed.

"Goodnight," he replied, pulling her into another crushing hug. "I'm glad you're home."

"Nite, daddy. We'll catch up more tomorrow," she promised, and then headed for the stairs with tunnel vision to her mother's room.

Once she got to the right room, Jessie didn't even think about knocking. She just barged right in and took her mother by surprise.

Estella was already in bed, but shot right up when she heard the door shut behind Jessie.

"What is…Jessie?" her mother exclaimed. "Qué se está encendiendo?"

"Oh, speak in English mother," Jessie whispered angrily. She didn't want the whole house to hear this argument, but she also couldn't wait another second. She's too afraid that she'll lose her nerve if she waits. "I want you to stop this right now?"

"Stop what?" her mother whispered back just as angrily.

"Alright. Stop playing dumb for one because you're not fooling anyone, and stop trying to control my life…Please. And please tell them to go home. I'd love it if you stayed with us, but please ask them to leave," she begged. "I didn't want to go to the Hamptons for a reason, and I invited YOU, and only YOU, here for a reason. Please?" she asked again.

"I can't do that, Jessica. Suzanne is my best friend," Estella said.

"That's not my problem. You did this, and you need to fix it. I don't want them here. You invited them under false pretenses, and you had no right. Now everyone is going to be uncomfortable. Fix it," Jessie said fiercely.

"False…"

"I told you to stop playing dumb," Jessie interrupted again. "That doesn't work on me. I see right through you."

"Who does this make uncomfortable, Jessie? Your father and I just spent the last few hours on a jet, a confined space, and we were perfectly civil," Estella told her.

"He was flying it," Jessie said, floored by her mother's gall. "It's not like you were in the cockpit with him. You probably had about twenty seconds of face time, so excuse me for not being impressed by that," Jessie finished.

"You are working my last nerve, Jessica?" her mother said furiously.

"Yeah, well you already drove a plow truck over my last nerve, mother," Jessie fired right back.

"Your father and I will behave," her mother promised. "We won't make anyone uncomfortable."

"Jordan being here makes things uncomfortable, mom. I want him to leave," Jessie said.

"I already talked to your father about that. He promised to give him a chance, so you don't have to worry about that," Estella told her.

"Ok, first of all, I was never worried about that, and, second of all, don't tell daddy what to do. I just talked to him about it too, and the only reason he was being patient with that idiot is because YOU manipulated him into believing that I was in love with the guy. I set dad straight, so your little plan isn't gonna work out so smoothly. When Jordan tries to kiss me tomorrow, I doubt that throat clearing is all daddy will do," Jessie finished smugly. She could play this game too. "That might make our guest a little uncomfortable, don't ya think? You should probably spare them that, and just ask them to leave."

"Jessie, I love you," her mother started. "I just want what is best for you, and Jordan loves you."

"That's ridiculous," Jessie said. "He doesn't even know me. He can't love me. Not for real, anyway. And don't start on that crap about how we've known each other forever because I don't even remember him from then, and it's not like we stayed friends over the years. Even if he does love me, it doesn't matter because I don't love him, and I never will," Jessie finished, realizing that all the confusion she felt towards Jordan went out the window the moment her lips touched Jonny's. Now that she knew there was a strong possibility Jonny felt the same way, she didn't want anything to do with Jordan.

"Why can't you give him a chance?" her mother asked. "He's so nice and smart. I think he's just what you need."

"I did give him a chance, and a bunch of others boys too. Guess what? I don't _need_ any of them," Jessie breathed, tired physically and mentally. She just wants her mom to understand. Maybe she just needs to be honest. "I already have everything I need."

"I'm not gonna ask them to leave. It's just rude. All I'm gonna ask is that you give Jordan another chance over the holidays. That's all I want for Christmas. Can you please do that for me?" Estella pleaded.

Jessie, fighting back tears again, almost gave into her mother per usual, but then Jonny's face popped into her head. How nervous he looked before giving her the locket, how vulnerable when he finally opened up to her about his mother, how sexy right before he took charge and kissed her, and finally the hurt she saw in his eyes at being dismissed by her mother. She needed to stand her ground.

"No," she whispered quietly. "I can't do it. I won't."

"Why?" her mother asked.

"I don't want him," Jessie replied nervously, a little scared of what her mother might do if she's totally honest. "It's wrong to lead him on, don't you think?"

"Well, there's still no reason that the two of you can't hang out and have fun for the next couple of days," her mother said. "Who knows, maybe you'll change you're mind," she smiled.

"Mom…God," she said, getting very angry again. "I can see him at school. I wanted to spend this time with my family."

"I'm your family too," she replied.

"Which is why I wanted you to come," Jessie finished. "So I could spend Christmas with my _family_."

"Jonny's not your family," her mother interjected rudely, and Jessie didn't miss the fact that her mother conveniently didn't mention Hadji or Dr. Quest. He's the underlying factor in most of their arguments, but Estella rarely acknowledges that because she knows how Jessie gets about him. Grizzly bear protecting her cubs would be an understatement.

"He's…," but Jessie couldn't even talk because she was so livid. "He's more than my family. He's my best friend. He's…Mom, I swear to God. If you ruin his Christmas or make him feel uncomfortable at all. Just don't, ok? This is his house, and since you're so concerned with not being rude, you better behave yourself. I meant what I said two years ago. If you can't be nice to him then you better stay away from him. If you hurt him again, I'll never forgive you," Jessie finished.

"Again? What did I do?" she asked.

"Stop it. I can't do this with you now," she said, getting up off the bed and frustrated that she didn't really get anywhere.

"Please," Jessie began again when she reached the door, finally letting her tears fall freely, and come through in her voice. She was too tired to fight anymore "Just leave him alone. If you care about me at all, you'll leave him alone. I'm in love with him, mom" she said, and then exited the room. She's not sure telling her mother was a smart move, but one thing was for sure. That was the first time she's ever said it out loud, and it was more real than anything else in her life.

As she made her way to her room, she found herself stopping in front of Jonny's closed door. She knocked twice, determined to make him understand that she was ambushed and didn't want any of this, but he never answered.

She tried to convince herself that he was just asleep, but knew, deep in her heart, that he was just ignoring her. She allowed herself to cry herself to sleep, but was determined to talk to Jonny tomorrow and fix everything.

Meanwhile, inside his room, Jonny hadn't moved from a prone position on his bed for more than an hour. He's been calling Jade every fifteen minutes, but it keeps going directly to her voice mail. He heard the knocks on his door, but couldn't bring himself to deal with Jessie. He didn't even want to think about her right now.

All he could think about was Jade, and why she hasn't called him back yet. It's almost two thirty in the morning, and he can think of no reason that she should still be scouting the place that his mother is supposedly being held at. There can't be much activity going on at this point. 'Maybe she's just mapping out the surrounding area,' Jonny found himself thinking, even though he highly doubted that she hadn't done that before ever coming to see him. He just needs to know what's going on, and is regretting not finding a way to go with her.

'What the hell was I thinking,' he scolded himself. 'This is much more important than that stupid locket,' but he couldn't help how much his heart sped up at the thought of Jessie on top of him and kissing him.

Before he could get too lost in those thoughts, however, he finally felt his phone vibrate against his leg and scrambled to answer.

"Are you alright? Why did it take you so long to call me back?" he asked before she could take a breath.

"I'm fine, but touched at the concern," Jade replied sarcastically.

Jonny just ignored her and pushed on. "What happened?"

"Nothing much," she reported. "I didn't see her, but I know she's still gotta be in there. Hill's got more security on this place than in Paris. I think I got their patrolling patterns down, but I won't know for sure obviously until I check it out a few more nights. I'm working on getting the plans to the house, as well. I'm very familiar with the security system they have in place, so I don't think that's gonna be too big of a problem," she finished.

"Ok, what else?" he asked, soaking it all up.

"Does your father happen to have any handy devices in his lab to help us figure out how many bodies are in that house and on the surrounding grounds at any given time? I know there are at least twenty men, but I don't know if they're shifting in and out of the house, or just to different places on the grounds. That's something we definitely need to know before going forward," she finished.

"I think I can figure that out tomorrow, and I'll also keep an eye out for any areas with concentrated or stationary bodies because that's most likely where she'd be…if she's really alive," he added to keep himself convinced of the fact that this may not be real. "I'll need the coordinates of this place though," he told her quickly before she could say anything else.

"I'll figure it out and text you as soon as I know," she told him.

"Sounds good. I'll take care of it, so that we have the info for tomorrow night," he said, having no intentions of letting her get anywhere near his father's equipment, and having every intention of being there with her tomorrow. She still has to tell him how she found out about all of this again. "Listen, my family ended up getting home early, so just make sure that you don't come back to the Compound," he said, still worried that she was gonna tell Race. "Can you pick me up outside the walls at midnight tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there," she told him.

"Thank you, Jade. Just…thank you," he said quietly, finally feeling tired from all the craziness of the day.

"Don't worry about it, baby. You know that I love you. I'll see you tomorrow. Nite," she told him.

"Nite," he replied before hanging up.

Now the question was whether or not he should wait up for Jade's text and try to sneak out to the lab early, or get some sleep to prepare for the long night he's gonna have tomorrow. He knows that sleep is probably the smarter idea, but he also know that it's not really a feasible option, so he settles for just laying there and trying to rest his body a bit.

After about twenty minutes of this, he gives up and decides to go for a run. Once he gets down to the beach and begins running against the wind, he welcomes that familiar feeling of only being able to concentrate on fighting his way through the wind. Reluctant to turn around and be filled with thoughts again, he runs the entire stretch of beach, which is almost ten miles and then practically collapses from exhaustion when he reaches the end. He couldn't even guess how long he just laid there staring up at the sky and trying to catch his breath, but he knows that he would've stayed a lot longer if he wasn't interrupted by receiving Jade's text with the coordinates. Seeing that it was now quarter to five, he decided to make a mad dash back to the lab so that he'd have enough time to get what he needed and cover up his tracks before his father was able to get in there.


	13. The Morning After

_A/N: Alright my loyal readers, here's the next installment. Hope you enjoy. I know that I don't have my e-mail set up here, so here it is: **troy(underscore)boy45 at hotmail**. If anyone would like to contact me to give feedback that way go for it. Plus, I've had a few requests for the adult version of "Confused No Longer," so all future request should go through this address. I just ask that you be 18 obviously. Pardon the grammar errors. I plan to edit this whole story soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing all!_

Out of breath and reluctantly excited, Jonny allowed Iris to scan his retina in order to gain entrance into the lighthouse lab. He raced up the stairwell worried that his father would want to come out here and start working at the butt crack of dawn since he's been away for a few days. He's hoping that everyone arriving late last night did him at least one favor and his father will sleep in a little this morning.

His first step after booting up the system is to set up what he likes to call a 'broom' virus, which essentially erases everything you do in a system a minute after you do it. This makes concentration key because if you miss something important you'll just have to start over again. There's no way to recover it. That's both the beauty and the beast of this program. It's a personal favorite of his, and very useful.

At the moment, he's running on pure adrenaline, but knows that he can't afford to screw up as time is not a luxury he has. So he takes a deep breath and tries to center his mind before executing the virus. He just has to stay focused for a little while longer. He certainly won't mind sneaking away for a few hours later to take a nap. At least that'll spare him time that he'd rather not spend with Jordan and Jessie anyway.

As Jonny enters the coordinates into the satellite and infrared tracking system, he doesn't even notice that he's holding his breath until he lets out a long one after realizing that the numbers are reliable. Before him is a flat plasma screen projecting a large property with numerous red dots moving in and out of a house. Jade wasn't kidding about Hill's manpower. Assuming that most of these bodies were for security, which Jonny's willing to bet his left arm that they were, then he and Jade are in for quite the challenge.

So far, he's counted forty-eight figures, which means that it'll be just as hard maneuvering inside the house as on the grounds. Jonny's not too worried about the security cameras or any other measures besides the men, however. Jade said she was already familiar with the system, which means that she'll be able to lead them through it blindfolded without being detected if necessary. They'll just have to create a distraction like they did last time to divert the attentions of some of the men.

Jonny's not willing to underestimate Hill's intelligence at all. In fact, he's willing to bet that the bastard learned a lot from the little break in success he and Jade had two years ago. No matter how big of a distraction they create, Jonny's convinced that there will be at least one man with the target at all times. So he's gonna have to think of a way to take a few people out quietly. There's no way the stealth approach is gonna see them all the way through this time, and if it does, he'll gladly welcome such a blessing.

After watching for about an hour, Jonny's convinced that forty-eight is a solid number. He's noticed that a few bodies around the house remained stationary the entire time he's been watching. He figures they're probably guards or other employees sleeping. He also noticed, and was most interested in, the North West corner of the house, where there appeared to be two sleeping bodies and at least ten moving bodies at all times. He can't help the thought that this could be his mother and Hill sleeping with a large security detail protecting them right outside a bedroom. He squashes that thought quickly, however, because it's too painful whether it's her or not.

When he sees the clock hit six thirty, he feels like he's pushed his luck far enough and begins to shut everything down. He doesn't even wanna be caught coming out of the lighthouse. It'll be much easier on everyone if he can just keep this totally quiet until everything's all sorted out. Once he has the lab secured, he starts at a run towards the house, hoping to get back up to his room before running into anyone. With the way his luck's been going, however, he wasn't surprised at all to hear his name as he made his way through the kitchen.

"Hey Estella," he tried to greet her without sounding too awkward. He was still a little out of breath. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked politely, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and trying act normal.

"Time change," she said quickly. "How 'bout you?"

"Just getting back from a run," he told her.

"Do you always run this early," she asked.

"Generally a little later, but I was up," he said. "I usually wait for Race. Thought he'd end up sleeping in today though," he added.

"Probably," Estella agreed, and then an uncomfortable silence followed. Jonny wanted nothing more than to just walk away from her, but he didn't want to give her any more reason to dislike him. Estella, on the other hand, was trying to think of the best way to approach this. She's still floored by Jessie's admission to her, even though she suspected it. She wasn't able to sleep all night, trying to think of how she should handle this problem. Part of her feels like she should let her daughter make her own mistakes, but the other part of her, the strong and stubborn part, knows that Jonny isn't good enough for her daughter. He's just like Race, and he'll do nothing but hurt her. If she can't make Jessie see that, then she sure as hell is gonna do everything she can to make Jonny see it. She has to go about this very carefully, however.

"So, what colleges are you applying to again? I think I asked you that already, but I'm having a brain freeze," she smiled. She sounded interested and Jonny really did want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the truth was that he couldn't help but think she's just working him for information, and he's not in the mood.

"A lot actually," he said, purposely giving her no details.

"Name a few?" she pushed.

At this point, Jonny was getting angry, and had to turn away from her and pretend to be looking in the fridge again for something to eat. He refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got to him. He's tired, hungry, confused about Jessie, pissed off about Jordan, and scared about his mother. What right did this woman have to come into his home and treat him like shit? What right did she have to act like she was making normal conversation, when all she was really doing was trying to manipulate him? She picked the wrong damn week to mess with him. He both loves and hates the fact that people underestimate his intelligence. Two can play at this little game she's got going, however.

"Berkley, Stanford, UCLA…" he started, and saw her face light up.

"Those are all really great choices," she enthused. "You definitely strike me as the West Coast type," she smiled.

"…Yale, Princeton, MIT," he continued, and caught her smile falter for a second. "Oh, and Harvard," he added a little spitefully, looking her right in the eye with a small smile. He loves Jessie more than anything, but he's done putting up with her mother's shit.

"That's great," she said slowly. "So when do you expect to find out whether or not you've been accepted?" she asked, praying to God that he doesn't get accepted to Harvard, or even MIT. She doesn't want him in the same state as her daughter.

"I've already been accepted to all of them," he started. "Early acceptance, I just have to decide where I want to go," he told her without missing a beat and cherished the shocked look that came across her face. He regretted telling her this immediately after he did it, however, because he hasn't even told his family yet. They didn't even know that he had applied early. He wanted it to be a surprise. He also wanted to avoid pressures from his father to apply to certain schools, so he just did it on his own. His father told him they were gonna sit down and figure everything out after the New Year. He loves his father, but will be glad to skip that debate. He was waiting until they were all together for Christmas again to tell them, and he was secretly hoping that Jessie would want him to come to Harvard to be with her. For a spilt second though, seeing the look on Estella's face was worth it.

"Which school are you leaning towards?" she asked. He thought she sounded a little nervous.

"I haven't decided yet. I was gonna talk to my family about it over the holidays. I'll figure it out soon," he said. He was already tired of this discussion and, despite his momentary delight at surprising her, he didn't really feel like he'd accomplished anything by doing it except having to explain to everyone why Estella found out about this before he told them.

"Harvard is probably not a good idea," Estella cut into his thoughts with no pretense.

Jonny knew that she felt that way, but honestly didn't expect her to say anything. Taken back by her boldness, it took him a second to respond. "Oh, and why is that?" he asked tightly.

"Don't you care about my daughter at all?" she accused.

"Excuse me?" he asked angrily.

"You do claim to be her best friend, don't you?" she continued. "Do you have any idea how important going to Harvard is to her?"

"I'm sure I have a better idea than you ever have," he said evenly.

Estella just glared at him with disbelief. "You would be nothing but a distraction to her," she fired back, ignoring his last comment. "She needs to concentrate on her studies."

"Then why have you been shoving Jordan down her throat?" Jonny countered.

"He's a positive distraction," Estella told him, and he just laughed bitterly. He didn't want to be having this conversation at all.

"I'm not so sure your daughter agrees about that, but let's just end the conversation here because this is total bullshit," he fumed.

"Well if you do end up at Harvard, I'm sure that Jordan can show you around," she suggested lightly. "Don't they make the most adorable couple by the way?" she quickly added before Jonny could get out a word.

'God she's vindictive,' he thought before responding.

"I think I can find my own way thanks, but I'm sure Jess can point me in the right direction if I get lost," Jonny replied snidely.

"Get lost where?" Jessie asked, walking in the kitchen. Like a few others in the house she couldn't sleep well last night either. She got up early, hoping to join Jonny on his morning run because she wanted to talk with him. Instead she ended up walking into a room so tense that she could feel it in her gut. Both Jonny and her mother cleared their throats and turned away from her. Neither answered her question, so she asked again.

"Get lost where?" she asked more firmly this time, looking from one to the other.

Jonny was about to answer before Estella could interrupt, but he was too slow. This is not how he pictured this moment.

"Harvard," Estella quickly provided. She saw the nervous look in Jonny's eye when Jessie asked her question and hoped that she had caught him in a lie.

"Wha…," Jessie started and then shook her head. She had no idea what was going on, but it was hard to keep from smiling when the words Harvard and Jonny were used in the same sentence. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions and get too excited, however. "Are you gonna come check Harvard out and maybe apply?" she asked hopefully.

"Nah," he said scratching the back of his head like he did when he was nervous, and she felt her heart drop. "I've already been accepted," he told her with a small grin.

"What?" Jessie asked, afraid that she had misheard him.

"I was gonna tell everyone over the holiday. I wanted it to be a surprise. I applied for early admission everywhere, and got all my acceptances a few days ago," he told her.

"Oh my God," she exclaimed, and a smile broke out on her face. She was a little upset that he didn't tell her any of this sooner, but too happy to care. "I'm so proud of you," she said, pulling him into a hug. "Congratulations," she whispered in his ear. "I didn't doubt you'd get in everywhere for a second."

"Thanks, J" he whispered back and held her closer, wishing her mother was back in Columbia somewhere.

Jessie wanted to bombard him with a million questions, but couldn't resist one in particular. "So where do you want to go?" she asked pulling back and looking into his eyes. Her mother's presence was totally forgotten.

Jonny got lost in the look she was giving him for a second too long, however, and then they were both made painfully aware of Estella's presence again.

"What do you wanna major in Jonny?" Estella asked loudly to ruin their moment.

"Don't know yet," Jonny answered annoyed, as he turned away from Jessie and grabbed an apple off the counter. He didn't even care if Jessie heard at this point.

Jessie, for her part, didn't notice Jonny's annoyance because she was too distracted by her own.

"Well you can't very well choose a school until you know that," Estella said needlessly

"You don't have to choose a major definitively until the end of sophomore year," Jessie said right to her mother, and then turned back towards Jonny. "You should go wherever makes you happiest," she smiled.

Jonny's heart jumped into his throat. He was still really confused though, and didn't know what to say, so he just smiled back at her.

"Well…" Estella started again, but Jessie interrupted her like she wasn't even in the room.

"Jonny you should go tell your Dad. He's gonna be so proud of you, and he should hear it from YOU," she emphasized, glaring at her mother. "Why haven't you told him yet?" she asked.

"I thought it'd be a great Christmas present," he said.

"It'll be an even better one if you tell him now so that he can brag to everyone tomorrow night," she smiled, knowing that he'd hate that.

"Yeah that'd be awesome," he told her sarcastically, but knew she was right. He had to tell him now. They were going to the Christmas party at the White House tomorrow, which was the last thing he wanted to do for a number of reasons. First of all, he hates that party, but besides that, he doesn't want to miss another night with Jade, he dreads the idea of being the third wheel with Jordan and Jessie, and now he's gonna have to put up with his father's gushing, as well.

"Go," she said, physically pushing him out of the room. "Can we go for a run when you're done?" she asked almost meekly once her mother was out of earshot.

Truthfully, Jonny really didn't want to deal with this right now either. He just wanted to go to bed. He was so exhausted at this point that he thought he could actually sleep, but his resolve couldn't withstand those eyes. "Sure," he said quietly. "Wait for me. I'll be down in a few."

"Ok," she said and then grabbed his hand as he began to walk away. "I'm so…so proud of you," she told him.

"Thanks, Ace" he replied, squeezing her hand a little before heading up to his father's room.

She wanted to say, Please Come to Harvard, but couldn't get it out. She had no problem telling her mother exactly what was on her mind, however. "Don't say one word to me mother," she growled, as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Jessie" she started

"What did you say to him, mom?" she demanded. "Why was it so tense when I walked in here? GOD…can't you just…just leave him alone," she finished heatedly.

"Jessie," she started again, but didn't get far.

"SHUT…UP," Jessie told her slowly as she walked away and then ran right into her father's chest. "Ow…sorry daddy," she apologized.

"It's fine sweetheart. What's going on?" he asked, walking into the kitchen and in between his daughter and ex-wife.

"Nothing," Jessie replied and looked away from her father.

"Stel?" he asked more sternly.

"It's nothing," she confirmed. "We were just discussing Jonny's col…,"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MOM," Jessie screamed, not caring if the whole house heard her. Jonny would want to tell Race himself, and Jessie was not gonna let her mother take that away. "Wanna go for a run dad?" she added quickly before either of her parents could yell at her.

"Ponchi…;"

"Please daddy," she cut in clearly agitated. She wanted to talk to Jonny, but felt like getting away from her mother was the best thing she could do for everyone right now.

"Let's go," Race replied. "We need to talk later," he told Estella, as he led Jessie out the door.

Estella was now alone and frustrated, but she wasn't gonna give up that easily.

Out on the grounds, Race gave his daughter a few minutes to calm down before asking what was going on. "Talk to me sweetheart," he insisted as they settled into an easy jog.

"I just can't even be in the same room with her anymore," she confessed. "She refuses to listen to me, and I can't take it anymore. It kills me to say it, but I want her to leave."

"You don't mean that," her father said quietly.

"You're right, but what I do want isn't gonna happen, so maybe it's just best if she leaves," she replied.

"What do you want?" he asked.

'That's a loaded question,' she thought before answering. "I want Jordan and his family to leave, and I want mom to respect my feelings."

"Any feelings in particular?" he asked, she thought, a little knowingly.

"My total lack of interest in Jordan," she replied quickly and then had a sudden thought. She had admitted to her mom how she feels about Jonny last night. What if her mom decides to tell her dad for whatever reason. How will he react, and how will he react hearing it from her first? With a deep breath, Jessie knows what she has to do. "Dad," she started again quietly.

"Yeah baby?" he asked, slowing down to a stop at the sound of her voice.

"Maybe we should sit," she suggested.

"Ok," he agreed, and they both took a seat in the sand and stared out into the ocean for a few moments.

"God, I missed this view," Jessie thought out loud with a smile.

Her father just nodded and waited for her to continue.

"Remember what you told me last night about trying for me when I told you it was the real deal with a guy?" she started slowly.

"Yes," he acknowledged.

"Did you mean it?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah I really did," he said with some regret. "What's going on?"

"I told mom something last night that I didn't mean to. It just slipped out and I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I want to tell you before she decides to," Jessie said.

"Go ahead, you can tell me anything," he said softly.

"First you have to promise me that this stays between us no matter what. Promise," she begged.

"I promise," he told her.

"Ok," she breathed. "I thought I knew a lot of things about myself before I went away to school, but I've really learned a lot these last few months, especially about what's really important to me."

"What's important to you?" he asked.

"My boys," she smiled. "I miss you guys so much. You, Dr. Quest, Hadji, and…" she trailed off, let out a deep breath, and then let out the truth. "I love him, dad. I'm in love with him. Sometimes I can barely breathe or think when I'm around him. I thought that going away and dating other guys would make my feelings for him go away, but it only made them stronger. Mom thinks he's not good enough for me or something…"

"What?" her father asked shocked

"I know. It's totally ridiculous," Jessie finished.

"I'm a little surprised by that because your mother has always been so fond of Hadji," he said confused. "I think I even remember her specifically saying to Dr Quest that she was surprised the two of you never got together. I never saw that happening, but if he makes you happy…"

"What…dad…no," she said shaking her head before looking him right in the eye. "Jonny. I'm in love with Jonny."

It seemed to her like it took an hour for that to sink in and for her father to say something.

"Ok," he started slowly. "That makes more sense," he said.

"What do you think?" she asked apprehensively.

"I'm not surprised," he started. "I just wasn't expecting this right now. I fully expected the two of you to dance around each other for another few years before getting it together," he said with a small laugh.

"Uh," she said a little thrown off. She didn't think this would be so simple, regardless of the conversation they had last night. "I wouldn't say we've gotten it together exactly," she admitted. "Things are pretty weird right now, but I didn't think you'd be taking it this well. I mean nothing has even happened, but still," she finished.

"I've been preparing for this moment for quite a while," he told her.

"In general or in particular," she asked curiously.

"In particular," he breathed. "Otherwise, I doubt I'd be taking it this well," he smiled. "Jonny's a good kid, and I know how much he cares about you."

"Did he say something?" she asked.

"No, I'm sure I'm the last person he'd talk to about this," he replied.

"Then how?" she asked deflated.

"I have eyes baby," he told her. "I remember the moment I realized that there could be something more between you two. My first instinct was to send you back to Columbia and hurt him" he chuckled.

"Daddy," she exclaimed and he laughed again.

"I still thank God everyday that I had the sense talked back into me," he said sincerely, pulling her to him.

"Hadj?" she asked and felt him tense for a moment.

"No, Jade actually," he acknowledged slowly.

"Mmm," she responded. They normally avoided the topic of Jade with such grace. Jessie hated to think that she could owe that woman anything. "What was the moment?" she asked.

"The White House Christmas party three years ago," he said with a reminiscent tone. "You looked so beautiful. You both looked all grown up to me for the first time. About half way through the night Jonny asked you to dance. Do you remember?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, smiling at the memory. "That was the first time he ever asked me to dance. He looked so nervous," she laughed. "You cut in during the middle of the song, and I was so mad at you for ruining the moment."

"I told you that I freaked out. You're lucky that I didn't drag you off the dance floor and throw you on a plane right then," he said seriously.

"What made you freak out about it anyway?" she asked.

"The way you were looking at each other mostly," he said quietly. "You had your hair up and some fell in your face when he made you laugh. In all the years I've known that boy he's never done one thing gently, but the way he pushed your hair back…I don't know. It just got to me, and I realized that you weren't six anymore. My head always knew that I'd have to let go someday, I just wasn't prepared for it then. I've been mentally preparing myself for it ever since though. There's been a few times where I've looked at that boy and just wanted to…I don't even know. I just didn't wanna like him I guess, but for no good reason" he said a little ashamed.

"I know the feeling," she smiled. "He's pretty hard not to love no matter how hard you try."

"Yeah, well I've thought about it a lot over the last few years, and realized that I don't think you could choose anyone else that'd make me happier," he said.

"Really?" she asked, her face lighting up.

"Really," he confirmed. "Then this whole Jordan thing threw me for a loop."

"Join the club," she told him bitterly. "Mom started to suspect about Jonny around the same time as you, but hasn't handled it very well in my opinion. She's been trying to manipulate me for years into choosing a guy she likes either by pushing those guys on me or making negative comments about Jonny. She's getting desperate now. At least before, she used to listen to me a little. We really got into it about two years ago. She said some things that were way out of line, and I told her to just stay away from Jonny if she couldn't be nice to him. I didn't want her talking down to him. It would do nothing but hurt his feelings and piss me off beyond belief. Instead of respecting my feelings, she just respected my anger. She stayed away and wouldn't even give him a chance. Just decided to focus all her energies on shoving Jordan down my throat, which was bearable until we ended up at the same school," she finished heavily. "Can you please kick them out daddy?" she asked with a small laugh.

"I wish I could," he told her. "What are you gonna about Jordan and Jonny?"

"I don't know what to do," she admitted. "Jordan is ok, but he's not Jonny. We've only gone out a few times, and I just did it to get mom off my back and to forget about Jonny for a while. It was clearly a huge mistake. I should have stood my ground, instead of trying to appease her. Yelling at her hasn't worked. She doesn't care what I think, and she won't ask them to leave. Maybe I should just be honest with Jordan, so he'll want to leave," she thought out loud.

"That sounds like an idea," he said supportively.

"I'm afraid he'll get angry and say something to Jonny though," she told him.

"Then go talk to Jonny first," he said like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"It's not that simple dad," she told him. "I don't even know how he feels."

"He loves you too," her Dad ensured.

"You don't know that," she said. "Having them here just ruins everything. I really thought Jonny and I were getting somewhere before you guys got here last night too, but now he's closed himself off again," she sighed. "Shit. We were supposed to go for a run and talk this morning."

"Why didn't you wait for him then?" her father asked.

"I wanted to get away from mom. Everything is so messed up," she exclaimed, falling to her back and putting her arm over her eyes.

"What can I do to help?" he asked.

"Just don't say anything to Jonny, and try not to fight with mom," she requested.

"Done," he said heavily. "Come on. Let's get back and get this day started," he said, helping her up and then setting off back home. He was right. She can't hide from her problems.

Once they got back to the Compound, Mrs. Evans had the biggest breakfast going she had ever seen.

"What's all this for?" Race asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"Good news calls for good food," Mrs. Evan replied.

"Did you hear the news, Race?" Dr. Quest asked excited.

"No, what's going on?" he questioned, looking around.

"Jonny..," his father promoted.

"I got accepted to all my colleges," Jonny said quickly, clearly not as excited as everyone else.

"Whoa…wait. When did you apply?" Race asked with a smile.

"A few months ago. I just wanted to do it on my own. I got my acceptances a few days ago," Jonny said, not really wanting to go through the whole story again.

"Where do you wanna go?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not sure," Jonny lied. "I have a month to decide. I figure we can talk about it after the holidays," he said, hoping everyone would drop it already.

"Get over here," Race ordered.

Jonny smiled and made his way towards Race. "I'm proud of you Cowboy," he said quietly, pulling him into a quick hug.

"Thanks man," Jonny said, squirming to be alone for a few minutes.

"Breakfast is up," Mrs. Evans boomed. "I made you your favorite sweetheart," she said turning to Jonny.

"Thanks," he smiled, accepting the plate and then sitting down at the dining room table across from Jessie.

"Hey, I'm sorry about this morning. My mom…," she started.

"Don't sweat it," he cut off as the others took their seats around the table. Estella made sure that Jordan was next to Jess. Jonny knows she probably had a good reason for bailing on him, but he's still pissed that he had to come back down and make polite conversation with Jordan and Estella for twenty minutes until everyone else arrived to wait for breakfast.

While they were eating, conversation turned to what they were all gonna do for the day, and Dr. Quest suggested that they hit the Rockford Christmas Festival, which they attended as a family every year.

"It's a great event," Dr Quest enthused to Estella and the Matthews. "It's a lot of fun and raises money for many great causes."

"That sounds wonderful," Suzanne exclaimed, and everyone else seemed to be in agreement.

"You can show me how it's done in your town baby," Jordan commented, rubbing her back.

Jonny did his best to avoid eye contact with Jessie for the entire meal, and he was pretty successful.

"Jonny you're being awful quiet," his father commented.

"I'm not feeling too hot Pop. Do you mind if I just chill here today?" he asked, praying that his dad wouldn't give him a hard time.

"The fair is your favorite tradition, son. And this is the last day," he said.

"I know, but there's always next year. I'm really tired anyways. Besides, I don't wanna be feeling sick for the party tomorrow," he added, knowing that would convince his father.

"Alright, well make sure that you rest up for tonight. I'm taking everyone out to dinner tonight to celebrate your achievement," he smiled proudly.

"Thanks dad. Sounds good," he said, and then rose to take his plate into the kitchen. "Have fun everyone," he said once he made his way back into the dining room. "I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Feel better," Jessie told him, her heart breaking a little as he began to walk away. This would be her first time going to the fair without him. She couldn't help but glare at her mother, feeling like this was all her fault.

He just nodded at her. "Thanks for breakfast Mrs. Evans," he called into the kitchen as he walked by, determined to get some rest and to mentally prepare himself for the next few days with Jade. Nothing else mattered right now.


	14. Two Can Play That Game

Once Jonny was safely behind his locked bedroom door, he crashed on his bed immediately. His body was so tired, but his mind was inescapably filled with everything he knew he needed to be thinking about and everything he wanted to avoid thinking about. After about an hour of tossing and turning, he fell into a fitful sleep that was constantly interrupted by images of Jessie and his mother.

He woke up around 11:00 feeling only slightly refreshed, and decided to raid the kitchen for supplies so he could stay in his room and avoid everyone as much as possible today. He tried watching movies and surfing the web, but couldn't focus on either. He's gone over every possible scenario about his mother ten times, and has concluded that he can make no conclusions. As hard as it is, he knows that it's pointless to think about it anymore until he gets more facts tonight.

'Only twelve more hours until I meet Jade,' he thinks, looking over at his clock. Now he just has this strong ache in the center of his gut as a result of the uncertainty about his mother, and he has no way to distract himself from it. Maybe he should have gone to the fair. At least his anger and discomfort over Jessie would have given him something else to think about.

'Jessie,' he thinks with a sigh. He doesn't know what to do about her. He was afraid for so long to tell her how he felt because he thought she would get hurt if he loved her, and now that he wants to tell her, it just gets so screwed up every time he tries. 'Maybe that's a sign,' he thinks, but he can't get last night out of his mind. The way she looked at him, and how it felt to kiss her.

'What the hell am I doing? I was so close,' he thinks. He knows that he wasn't imagining the connection he felt. He knows that she felt it too, but instead of trying to work it out, he's just been ignoring her to protect his own feelings. He's been doing this for years, and is now using his mother as an excuse to continue doing it.

She tried to explain/apologize to him last night and this morning, but he let his anger and bruised ego get in the way. What if she doesn't appreciate his actions and decides to forget about him? He knows that she is just as stubborn as he is, and doesn't doubt that her pride, among other things, would be enough to stop any relationship they could have before it starts. He's the same way. They'll never make it unless they're completely honest with each other and he knows that, but being honest isn't as easy as it should be.

Lying there thinking about her, a horrible realization hits him. What if he goes through all of this shit with his mother again and Jade turns out to be wrong? And what if he loses any chance he could have had with Jessie too? He can't think of anything worse happening, but knows that this scenario is totally probable if he doesn't do anything about it. He has no control over whether or not his mother is alive, but he does have a say in how things will turn out with Jessie. He'll never forgive himself if he loses her over something as stupid as fear and pride, feelings that will fade far faster than his love for her ever could.

It's only 1:00 now. They'll still be at the fair for at least four more hours. He can go catch up to them and have fun with his best friend like he had planned to before all of this started. He can show Estella that he's not intimidated by her, and he can show Jessie that he meant every word he said to her last night.

It took him forty minutes to get down to the fair and find them, but only thirty seconds to be totally stopped in his tracks. Against his better judgment, he stayed back to watch Jessie for a moment. She was leaning against a couple of benches and staring at the ground. He thought she looked sad, and he had an over whelming urge to walk up to her and kiss her, but he wasn't the only one. He just stood there and watched as Jordan came up to her, lifted her chin with his finger and gently kissed her lips.

He turned away and made his way back to the car before they even finished, feeling like a hot coal was burning inside of him. It didn't matter how much he tried to talk himself up, he didn't think he could act graceful or even civil in an environment where Jessie could be kissed by another man at any given time. He had to get out of there before anyone saw him.

Hurt, angry, and desperately needing a distraction, he jumped into his car and picked up his cell. It rang twice before the other end picked up.

"Hey, meet me at my house as soon as you can," he said quickly, and then hung up before he could change his mind.

When he arrived at the gates of the Compound twenty minutes later, she was waiting for him and he told her to hop in as he drove through the gates.

"What's going on?" she asked, as they made their way through the foyer. "Where's your family?"

"Christmas Fair," he answered gruffly, pulling her to him by the waist and kissing her deeply.

"What are you doing?" she giggled, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he pressed her against the wall.

"What I plan on doing for the next two hours," he answered against her lips and then claimed them again.

Once he was as close to her as possible, she wrapped her legs around him and he carried her to his room. No more words were spoken.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well that was quite an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon," Mary breathed, as she stretched herself out like a cat on his bed. "So what made you call?" she asked.

"Just wanted to see you," he answered with a grin.

"And make out with me for two hours," she added with a smile. "Not that I'm complaining. You're an amazing kisser."

He just shrugged nonchalantly at her comment, getting up off the bed and straightening his clothes. He didn't feel guilty for using her because he knew that she didn't mind, and because she used him more than he could ever use her. It's not like she really cared about him or anything. He was like a goddamn trophy to these girls, and he knew it.

"You know you could've seen a lot more of me if you wanted to," she said playfully still sprawled out on his bed and looking beautiful.

"Yes, you made that quite clear," he laughed.

"You have a will of steel, you know that," she told him, as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, massaging him seductively.

"I know," he answered. "But believe me, you are beyond tempting," he said before giving her one last kiss. He didn't wanna continue this conversation. "You better get outta here before my family gets back. I'm supposed to be sick remember?" he smiled.

"You're so cute," she laughed. "But it's so unlike you to demand a booty call."

"Hey, I didn't demand a thing you weren't more than willing to participate in," he smiled. "You wanna ride to your car?" he asked.

"No, that's fine. Just walk me to the door Romeo," she said, pulling him out of the room by his shirt.

"So was I a good distraction?" she asked rather knowingly as they reached the door.

"You have no idea," he smirked. "I'll make it up to you," he promised.

"No need," she answered. "I quite enjoyed myself. Later."

"Bye," he replied, and then made his way back up to his room after opening the front gate for her. 'Only seven and a half more hours,' he thought.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessie was ready to leave the fair about three minutes before they arrived, so when her father suggested that they head back and go to an early dinner since they'd be traveling tomorrow, Jessie was really grateful.

She was even more grateful when he put his arms around her shoulders before Jordan could as they walked back to the car. "You alright?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she shook her head. "I just feel like I'm in a room screaming right now, and no one can tell. What should I do?" she whispered back.

"I think you need to be honest, sweetie," he told her. "But I think you already knew that," he finished as they reached the car.

She knew that he was right, and it didn't make her feel any better. She didn't really think she could feel any worse until she saw Mary about to get in her car as they pulled up to the front gate of the Compound.

"Hey Mary," Dr. Quest had rolled down the window to greet her.

"Hi, Dr Quest," she smiled brightly. "Jonny told me he wasn't feeling well, so I came to keep him company for a bit."

'And you missed a button you fucking whore,' Jessie thought.

"How ya doing, Jess? Jonny didn't mention that you were home. How's Harvard?" Mary asked.

'Bitch,' Jessie thought. "It's good," she answered.

"Good. Well, enjoy the rest of your day everyone. I'll see you around," Mary said as she hopped in her car and then drove off.

Now Jessie_ really_ felt like she was screaming and no one could hear her. She avoided eye contact with both of her parents, and just tried to control her breathing as they made their way up to the main house. She wanted to be alone. She needed to think. What was going on? Did Jonny invite her here? Did she come on her own? What were they doing? She needed to talk with him now, and she had the perfect excuse.

"I'm gonna go check on Jonny and take him his cookies," Jessie announced as they got out of the car.

"Tell him to be ready for dinner in an hour, will you sweetheart?" Dr Quest requested.

"Not a problem," she yelled back.

Jessie didn't give him the courtesy of a knock this time. He wasn't getting a choice over whether or not he wanted to talk to her. She needed to clear the air. So she just barged right into his room where he had apparently just gotten out of the shower.

"Jeez…Jess," he exclaimed barely getting the chance to cover himself before she saw anything. "What the hell?" he asked at her intrusion and the menacing look on her face.

"I brought you your favorite cookies," she said tightly and then threw them right past his ear so that they it the wall. "But I'm guessing any hunger you had has already been satisfied," she spat out, not allowing her voice to waver or rise too far above normal conversation levels. The last thing she wanted was an audience.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he questioned, adjusting his towel slightly.

It didn't escape her for a second how good he looked in it either, and she became irrationally jealous in that moment of any other girl who might get to see him like this. Particularly, Mary.

"You know," she started in a tone that he knew wasn't good. "I learned some really fascinating things in my animal studies course this semester. The intelligence of certain species of gorilla is astounding. They can paint and do sign language. Hell, they can even dress themselves properly. Maybe you should fuck them. Not as pretty as you're used to, but at least they'd be a step up in the intelligence department," she finished heatedly.

"Again, what the hell are you going off about?" he asked, although he had a pretty good clue now. He jumped in the shower to cool off after Mary left, but he wasn't in there for very long.

"I thought you were sick. I felt bad that you were missing out on the fair," she whispered fiercely, getting a little in his face. "But you just lied to us so that you could have the house to yourself with your little whore, didn't you?" she accused. "You _are_ just like my father, aren't you?" she said in a broken voice. She couldn't stop her tears at this revelation and then turned to leave the room. She's embarrassed that she let herself get so upset over him, but especially in front of him. Now she really wants to be alone, but he grabbed her arm and wouldn't let her leave.

"Get off me," she said weakly. She hated that this man could bring her to her knees.

"No," he replied, pulling her back into the room. "You had your say, now I get mine. I love the fair. It's my favorite tradition, and I was looking forward to going with you and having fun this year, but I didn't like the idea of being the third wheel. Not to mention the fact that I really didn't feel like spending the whole day with your mother either. I'm sorry," he said at the look she gave him. "I know she's your mother and I respect that, but she doesn't respect me, so I thought it'd be better for everyone if someone just stepped back, and I really didn't think she'd be willing to do that. I was tired anyway, and I really did wanna take a nap," he said slowly.

"Well I guess you didn't get much rest," she said bitterly, pulling her arm away from him. The thought of the two of them in this room together made her feel like she was choking, and then new tears began to fall down her face. 'This is ridiculous,' she thinks. 'I never cry, but how many times have I cried over him? I hate feeling this way.'

Jonny hated that he was the reason she was so upset. He wanted to hold her so badly in that moment, but he got angry when she tried to walk away again. He didn't do anything wrong.

"I wasn't doing anything that you weren't," he countered, stopping her in her tracks.

"Excuse me?" she said shocked. "I have never had sex with Jordan or anyone else for that matter," she fumed, angry with herself for not being honest with him to begin with. Things could be so different right now. "I'd never let someone that close to me unless I loved them," she finished.

"Neither would I," he replied, taking a step closer to her, anger fading as relief coursed through his veins at her admission.

"You love Mary?" she asked almost heart broken, and stepped back until she felt the wall supporting her.

"No," he answered, stepping closer to her again. "And I've never slept with her or anyone else either." He almost added, 'Not that it's any of your business,' but bit his tongue.

At this point, Jessie was breathing heavily, but her tears had stopped. She was unconsciously playing with the locket around her neck, and Jonny's heart skipped a beat when he noticed, thinking about everything that the locket was supposed to represent. He had and overpowering desire to be honest with her, remembering a few words from his mother's letter: **Fight for her**.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking another step closer so that there was practically no distance between them now, and putting is hand on the side of her face slowly. He felt like he'd won a small battle when she didn't push him away. "I was a stupid and impulsive jerk today. I did come to the fair," he told her haltingly, and she looked up with a surprised reaction on her face.

He just breathed deeply and then continued. "You looked sad," he commented.

"I missed you," she said right into his eyes. "All I could think about all day was that you were here by yourself, and it was my fault. I hated doing things with Jordan that I should've been doing with you," she finished.

"I saw him kiss you," he told her without thinking about it. She just stared at him not knowing what to say. "I was jealous," he continued. "I needed a distraction so I called Mary, and we just kissed for a while. That's all" he told her honestly. "I didn't think you guys would be home for at least another hour. I only did it to make myself feel better, not to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose," he finished softly.

"I know," she whispered, and brought her hand up to his face, as well. "I know," she repeated.

"And it didn't make me feel better," he admitted.

**Fight for her**, he heard in his head, and then he allowed himself to forget about everything else he was feeling for a minute and kissed her lightly, almost chastely, on the lips.

She didn't respond at first, but she didn't pull away either, so he slowly worked his lower lip between hers to suck gently on her mouth. He still had one hand on her face, but pulled away to brace himself against the wall when she began to kiss him back. It was amazing. He would've used the other to pull her closer if he wasn't worried about dropping his towel. She kept a hand on his face too, and the other at her side. She was almost afraid to touch him.

Jessie felt like she could faint from his actions. He kept trapping one of her lips between his and then he'd pull back slowly and release her barely long enough to catch half a breath before closing in on her again. It was absolutely intoxicating.

The small sounds she was making were enough to drive him insane, but when she began running the hand that had been at her side up and down his bare chest, he really started to wish he'd more clothes on.

When he pulled back to catch his breath and gain a little composure, he didn't feel the need to give her much space. They were forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and every hot breath was intermingled. He needed to be close to her.

Neither could talk. Jonny because he didn't know what to say, and Jessie because she couldn't focus on anything but his eyes and the way he was looking at her.

"Believe me, I've never kissed Mary, or anyone else, like this," he breathed, and then kissed her again. "And I fucking hate that Jordan gets to do this," and he kissed her one more time, "…whenever he wants to," he finished out of breath, and then she kissed him.

"Jonny," Jessie breathed distractedly when they pulled back. "I…"

"Hey Baby," they both then heard yelled from the hallway.

"Fuck," Jonny cursed quietly with frustration.

'Shit,' Jessie thought as she saw Jonny slowly close his eyes for a second, and then walk back into his bathroom and slam the door shut.

"Jess," Jordan yelled again.

"Yeah?" Jessie asked annoyed, as she walked out of Jonny's room and into the hallway. She hoped he couldn't see how flush she felt.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "Your mom told me to come check on you," he told her.

"What…Why?" Jessie asked confused.

"Just seemed like you were up here for a while," he answered.

"Yeah, well I'm allowed to tell my best friend about my day," she countered. "You can relay that little message to my mom if you'd like," she finished angrily and then blew right past him into her room.

"Hey Jess," he knocked on her door. "Let me in. What's up?" he asked.

"Leave me alone," she yelled. "And tell my mother she better not come up here if she knows what's good for her."

She was so thankful when she heard him walk away. She has about fifty different feelings going through her right now, and doesn't know which one to focus on. She's furious at her mother and Jordan, she's still angry at Jonny about Mary even though she knows it's wrong to be, and she's confused by what just happened between her and Jonny yet happy at the same time because it felt so good. Mostly she just wants to know how he's feeling.

Meanwhile, Jonny has spent the last few minutes sitting on the edge of his tub with his head in his hands. He was just as confused as Jessie.

'Oh my God,' he thought. 'That was so…,' he didn't even know. That was so a lot of things, but mostly it was just amazing. 'She was definitely jealous about Mary too,' he thought, and couldn't help but smile a little. For the first time, he feels like he has a real shot with her, but he doesn't wanna get too involved until this situation with his mother is cleared up. That's where his focus should be right now.

"Hey Jonny," he heard his father calling from his room.

Jonny threw on a pair of pants before coming out of the bathroom. "Hey pop," he greeted.

"How're you feeling?" his father asked.

"Better. I'm just tired," he said. "I haven't been sleeping well lately," he admitted.

"Is something bothering you?" his father inquired.

"Nah," Jonny lied.

"Did Jessie tell you that we're leaving for dinner soon?" he asked.

"Yeah, do you think we could do that another time dad?" he questioned hopefully. "I really don't feel like going out tonight. Besides, I'd rather it be just family anyway. Hadji's not even here," he finished, praying that his father wouldn't push him.

"I already told Mrs. Evans not to bother coming over tonight," he responded.

"Can we just order pizza and watch movies?" Jonny asked, thinking that he wouldn't have to talk to anyone if they watched movies.

"Sure, I'll gonna go order now. Why don't you come down with me?" his father suggested.

"Uh," Jonny started. "I'll be down in a few."

"Alright, I'll see you then," his father said and began to walk away, but then stopped and turned back towards his son. "I just want to tell you one more time how proud I am Jonny," he smiled. Jonny smiled genuinely too. His father's opinion meant the world to him. "Your mother would be proud too," he said slowly. "And not just because of your acceptances," he finished and then walked out of the room.

Jonny just stood there stunned for a few minutes. Talk about signs. That was the first time his father had brought up his mother since she died. He just hoped it was a good sign. He'd have plenty of time to think about that later though he realized as he put on a shirt. For now, he just has to get through the next couple hours.

About thirty minutes later, Jonny walked out his door and saw Jess' door open out of the corner of his eye, as well. She stopped in her tracks when she saw him. She was just about to go downstairs to talk to her mother.

"Hey," they said simultaneously and then smiled a little.

"I...uh...forgot to tell you that we're supposed to be leaving for dinner soon," she piped in.

"Yeah, I talked to my dad," he said. "He's just gonna order pizza, and I think we're gonna watch movies. I don't know about you, but I really didn't wanna go out tonight."

"Me either," she said. "You have know idea," she grinned and then let out a deep breath.

"So you ready to go join the family fun," he joked, and then offered her his arm. He was determined to keep things as normal as possible between them until things settled down.

"As I'll ever be," she answered unenthusiastically, but appreciated his gesture. "Let's get this over with."

When they walked into the living room arm and arm and laughing, Estella was livid, but she didn't dare say a word after the look her daughter shot her.

"So what movie should we watch tonight?" Dr Quest asked everyone.

"Diehard," Jonny and Jessie answered at the same time.

"We've always been right here Ace," he said, indicating with his fingers that they see eye to eye.

"I've never seen Diehard," Jordan cut in.

"What?" Jonny asked shocked. "It's a cinematic masterpiece."

"Bruce Willis at his finest," Jessie added and then the door bell rang.

"Let's go in the dining room," Dr. Quest said. "Jonny will you grab the pizzas?"

"Sure thing pop," he answered. "I can't believe you'd date a man that's never seen Diehard," he whispered with a smile as he passed Jessie.

"Shut it," she laughed, pushing him out of the room. It felt really good to joke around with him like normal, but she knew they needed to talk seriously and soon. She definitely felt like they were in the calm before the storm, pretending like everything was normal.

"Jessie," Estella called, but was ignored to her great displeasure.

"So are you feeling better Jonny?" Estella asked as they all sat down to eat.

"Much thanks," he answered without looking in her direction.

He was able to avoid conversation for the rest of the meal as his father and Jordan got into a very boring physics discussion, but he was grateful for it.

"Alright, movie time," Race announced, and Jonny got a look on his face that Jessie immediately recognized as he got up from the table quickly and made his way to the living room.

"No, don't you dare Hotshot," she screamed, getting up after him. "It's my turn," she laughed.

"What's going on?" Estella asked.

"They insist on fighting over the best spot on the couch," Dr. Quest informed her.

"Move," they heard Jessie giggle from the other room.

"Nope, you were just too slow," he grinned. "Spot's mine now, sorry. You're just gonna have to settle for second best and sit next to me."

"I wouldn't really consider that second best," she told him quietly, sitting down beside him as everyone else came into the room.

Jordan of course sat on the other side of Jessie, which made it even harder for Jonny to pretend like he was paying attention to the movie. However, he didn't feel as bad as he could have since Jessie preempted Jordan's attempts to cuddle by leaning against him to have better access the popcorn bowl between his legs.

At 11:15, Jonny excused himself in the middle of the third movie. "Goodnight everyone. I'm beat," he told them, and he really was. It looked like he'd be working off adrenaline again tonight, but that was fine. He could handle it.

His heart started beating wildly as soon as he began making his way up the stairs. As much as he needed to go with Jade tonight, he didn't want to. He's scared about what they're gonna find, and he suddenly wishes that Jessie were coming with him. It'd be easier for him to handle bad news if she were there, but he knows it's better this way.

Once he gets to his room, he quickly blinds IRIS and grabs his bag. A half an hour later, he's at the edge of the Compound waiting for Jade. He has the information she requested about the house, and he's hoping that when she fills him in on how this all came up again it'll make him feel more confident about what they're about to do.

"Hey Stud, you ready to do this?" she questioned, as she rolled up to him in a black SUV.

"As I'll ever be," he replied, echoing Jessie's earlier sentiments and shaking his head. He threw his bag into the back seat, and then climbed up front.

"Ok," he said all business as she began to drive again. "How did this all come up again Jade? Tell me everything," he insisted.


	15. Answers

_A/N: A little short I know, but enjoy!_

"I'll tell you the whole story," Jade promised. "But first, were you able to tap into satellite?" she questioned.

"Yeah, there are roughly forty eight bodies. I'm guessing that at least forty are just for security," he reported.

"Shit. This guy is either getting more paranoid with age, or he's planning something Jonny," she said a little worriedly. "I have a bad feeling about this. Can we PLEASE just call Race?" she asked.

Jonny didn't even answer. He just gave her a look to let her know it wasn't an option.

"Fine," she said fed up. "I want you to make me a promise though," she demanded.

"What?" he asked, getting impatient.

"No matter what we see…or what I tell you," she paused. "Promise me that you won't act on impulse. We PLAN everything out, and do it all TOGETHER," she emphasized.

"Agreed," he said too quickly for her liking.

"I'm not joking," she said seriously. "I want to make sure we all get out of this alive."

"I promise," he said slowly. "Now please tell me what's going on. I've been going crazy over the last thirty plus hours. You said that you were sure this time. That you double and triple checked. Jade?" he pushed, clearly agitated when she didn't answer him immediately.

"Ok," she started. "Like I told you yesterday, I never really believed that I was wrong two years ago, but I also didn't have any proof that I was right after everything that went down in London. I wasn't about to bring it up to you right then. I debated long and hard about just going to Race, and the last few times we've seen each other, it's been really hard for me not to tell him, but I didn't. I kept my promise to you and I expect you to keep yours now," she finished.

"Thank you, and I do promise," he said sincerely.

"Alright," she continued with a deep breath. "The year after London, I couldn't ask too many questions or tap my resources about Grobin. He's better connected than I'll ever be, and I didn't want anything getting back to him. He's not an enemy I want. So I just kept my eyes and ears wide open, hoping that he'd request my services again so that I could get back in his house and reevaluate his security, which I had assumed received a major overhaul after our break in," she told him logically and took a breath.

"Nine months ago, he called me in again," she told him. "I saw the same woman that I saw the first time I was there, but got a closer look and realized that it wasn't your mother."

"I think we already established that," Jonny said a little annoyed. "Are you even sure that you'd recognize my mom?" he asked.

"I've seen the picture of you two above the fire place, and her portrait in the study enough times…"

"You're hardly ever in my house," Jonny cut in.

"That's what you think," she chuckled.

"Jesus," he breathed. "No details please."

"Anyway," she continued. "I've made sure to pay extra close attention to her picture these last two years so that I'd know for sure if I saw her."

"Did you see her?" he asked anxiously.

"Yes," she answered.

"Is she okay? How can you be sure it's her?" he demanded.

"One question at a time. I thought you wanted to hear the whole story?" she said.

"Hurry then," he ordered.

"When I saw that woman again and recognized that she wasn't your mother, I thought that I was wrong all along. I was furious at myself, but decided to just focus on the deal with Grobin instead. While we were talking, he called for 'Rachael' to get us some drinks. I almost fell off my damn chair. It wasn't your mom that came in, but she was another carbon copy from a short distance. So within five minutes of being in the house, I saw two women that could have been your mother's sisters, and then I saw a third on the way out. At his point, I'm thinking one of two things. Either Grobin's a bigger psycho then I could have ever imagined or…"

"Decoys," Jonny interrupted.

"Exactly," Jade agreed. "He has a lot of 'friends' in my world that would love to take his place, so it doesn't surprise me that he'd go to such extreme measures to protect her. I suspect she'd be the greatest piece of leverage any rival could get his hands on."

Jonny was having trouble focusing, but was able to gather his voice long enough to ask a question. "How do you know that these women aren't just filling this sick fuck's fetish? You saw her? Get to that part," he said.

"When I realized that the decoy theory was highly probable, I knew that I had to get into that house and see if I was right. It took about a month before I felt confident enough with the security system and patrolling patterns of the men to give it a try. Once I was in, I crept through that house for fours hours and came across a total of six look a likes before I hit a room with three guards hanging outside. I knew that if she was there, it was in that room."

"With Grobin," Jonny bristles.

"I'd assume yes, but I never saw them together," she told him. "There was no way I could get in that room without alerting the whole house, so I just waited and watched. I was hoping she'd come out to use the bathroom or something so I could get a quick look, but she never did. I was gonna leave and come back the next night, but then I decided I'd have a better shot at getting to her during the day. I thought maybe she'd have a little freedom inside the house and that some of the security would stick with Grobin. Around 7:30, I heard Grobin telling someone goodbye and that he'd see them again that evening. Two of the guards remained at the door, but I figured she was probably in there by herself, so I managed to get myself out on the balcony and I picked the lock."

"Christ Jade, what if it wasn't her?" he said shocked. "You could've been hurt."

"I wouldn't be here if I got caught Jonny," she told him seriously. "Which is why we have to be so careful. This man is ruthless, and your mother is clearly his prized possession."

"That was a dumb risk to take," he commented.

"It had to be done," she said in a neutral tone. "I couldn't take this to the next level until I knew for sure. Besides, I didn't get where I am today by staying home and baking cookies. Risks come with the territory."

It meant more to Jonny than he knew how to express that she was willing to risk her life for a woman she never met, and that she put herself in even more danger by not telling Race. He knew that he owed her big time, but he couldn't focus on that right now. All he could think about was his mother.

"Did…did you talk to her?" he asked haltingly.

"No, there wasn't time. Once I got in the room, I was barely able to grab her before she could scream. I told her to calm down, and that I was there to help her. When she did calm dawn, I was finally able to get a good look at her. There's not a doubt in my mind that it's her Jonny, unless she has a twin somewhere out there that we don't know about. I told her that I needed to take a picture of her, and I promised her that I'd be back to help," she finished as she pulled the car to the side of the road. "If it wasn't her, don't you think she would have warned the guards about an intruder?" she posed, and then pulled out an 8 X10 photograph to hand to Jonny.

He took it from her slowly and took a deep breath before turning it over. "Oh my God," he said and then dropped the photo to the floor. "Oh my God. What have I done? I left her there with him," he said quietly, and couldn't stop shaking.

"Don't do this to yourself," she said rubbing his back. "None of this is your fault," she soothed.

"You don't get it," he whispered.

"Talk to me," she encouraged.

But he didn't wanna talk to her. He wished that Jessie were with him.

"I'm fine," he said, straightening up and putting his emotions on hold. "I'll be fine. Let's go. We have a lot of work to do."

"Alright," she said. "I'm here for you if you need to talk though."

"I know, and it means a lot to me," he told her.

They drove for the next thirty minutes in silence, and Jonny forced himself to think about Jessie and what he'd like to be doing with her right now, so that he couldn't think about his mother.

"Alright," Jade spoke up as she pulled her car into the woods. "We walk from here. It's two miles north, and I'm not entirely confident yet that he doesn't have men patrolling the woods too. I certainly wouldn't put it past him, so don't make any noise. Just keep your head down and follow me. Once we're within eyeshot of the house, I found a safe place to watch from. Any questions?"

Jonny just shook his head no.

"Let's go," she announced.

Jonny didn't dare say a word as they trekked through the forest. Reconnaissance was Jade's forte, and he trusted her instincts. It took them about thirty minutes to reach Jade's spot. It was a little farther away than Jonny had hoped, but it seemed pretty safe.

They spent the next two hours watching the patrolling patterns of the men and taking note of which rooms seemed to house the most activity. Jonny couldn't wait to get back to the car to see how consistent his observations were with Jade's from last night. He's knows that two nights hardly equals a solid picture of Hill's security detail, but a little consistency will do a lot to make him feel better. The sooner Jade's confident, the sooner he can get her out of there.

They began to make their way back to the car around 4:00 so that Jonny wouldn't have any trouble sneaking back into Compound.

"So?" he asked anxiously as soon as they were on their way.

"It was pretty consistent with last night, but we can't jump the gun," she warned.

"I know," he said with a sigh, but that's not how he felt. "So when do you think we can go in?" he asked impatiently.

"Jonny," she admonished.

"Look I know what you're gonna say, but that's my mom in there, and I don't wanna leave her with that psycho a second longer than absolutely necessary. Please give me a timeline or something," he begged.

"I'm not gonna make a promise that I can't keep," she told him tightly. "If I tell you tomorrow, you'll get that set in your head and won't stop even if I say you have to for good reason. If you don't keep your cool and follow my lead then I _will_ call Race," she threatened.

"Jade we've been through this already," he yelled.

"I promised not to tell him FOR NOW. Those were my exact words," she reminded. "And I say when now is up," she finished determinedly.

"What…," he stumbled with difficulty. "What if this all blows up in our faces again?" he asked her quietly. He hated that he was back in the same place as he was two years ago, believing that he was gonna get her back. Feeling unbelievably guilty that she'd been suffering so long and no one knew, and petrified that Jade was just wrong. He doesn't deal well with these emotions, and usually channels them out angrily.

"Jonny," she softened. "I…"

"NO," he screamed. "This is bullshit. You told her that you'd be back to help her, and that was 8 fucking months ago. If that's her, then she's waited long enough, but we are still not telling Race. I can only imagine what my mother has been through," he said slowly. "But I know exactly what my father has been through, and I refuse to let that happen again. We will extract whoever that is, I will do a DNA test, and if it's her, then, and only then, will we tell my father and Race. I know that Race will be angry that we didn't tell him, but I'll make sure he knows it was all my fault, and if things don't work out then…then he'll never have to know," Jonny finished.

"I'm not worried about Race hating me Jonny. I already guaranteed that when I didn't tell him about this two years ago, and then you disappeared for a week. Do you have even the slightest clue how worried he was?" she asked. "He called me while we were traveling to London, ya know. He wanted my help," she smiled. "That man has never asked for my help, but you're a hell of a lot more important to him than his pride, and he was afraid. I'd never heard fear in his voice before then, and I haven't since. He's the most fearless man I know. Not telling him that I knew you were safe was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life," she admitted. "You're more important to him than I'll ever be. He considers you his son. I have no delusions, believe me. I'm not worried any longer about him hating me. I'm worried about him killing me if something happens to you," she finished in a low voice.

"Listen," he started, a little stunned that she had just admitted so much to him. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I won't let it. I have too much to live for, especially if my mother is still alive. I have people that need me, and I won't leave them," he said, thinking of Jessie. "If it comes down to it, I will make Race understand how amazing you've been to me, Jade. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you're doing for me. I still don't fully understand why you're doing it, but I appreciate it," he said.

"I don't fully understand it either," she laughed, but then sobered. "I'm sorry that she's had to wait 8 months. Grobin's job for me took a lot longer than I expected, and then he upped and came to Maine, which is the primary reason that I'm so concerned. What the FUCK is he doing here, huh? Why is he so close to your father. Is it a rush for him? An ego thing? Or is he planning something else?" she asked in a worried tone.

"I don't know," Jonny said unfocused. "All I care about is getting her out of there. We can figure out the rest later."

"I wish it was that simple," she said. "So, am I picking you up the same time tomorrow?" she asked.

"I wish, but I have to be in D.C. tomorrow," he told her.

"Ah, the White House Christmas Party. Good times," she commented. "Well don't worry, I'll hold down the fort until you get back," she promised.

"Thanks," he told her with a sigh. "And I'm sorry this has gotten so complicated. I owe you. I'm afraid to say that to you," he laughed. "But I do, more than I could ever repay."

"Not necessary," she told him

"What?" he asked shocked.

She just looked over and grinned at him a little. "Shut up," she said. "I care about you, and I wanna see you happy. If I can help that, I will," she finished simply. "I may not be that old, but I've seen a lot and I've met a lot of people, and you're just aces in my book kid. I consider you a friend, and I don't have many so I make it a point to take good care of the ones I do have," she said.

"And I suppose it helps that Race cares about me," he smiled.

"Well it certainly doesn't hurt, but I still meant what I said," she told him.

"So can I ask what's going on between you two?" he questioned.

"What do you mean?" she asked, and shifted in her seat a little.

"Are you in love with him," he asked boldly.

"Jonny," she exclaimed.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I was just curious."

"It wouldn't matter if I was anyway," she said.

"Sure it would. Love changes everything," he told her.

"Maybe when you're eighteen it does, but this is a bit more complicated. It could never work out. I'm not the domestic type. Besides, Jess would never have it," Jade breathed.

"Yeah that's true," Jonny admitted, as she pulled up to the outskirts of the Compound. It was about quarter after five. "You'll call me?" he asked, as he stepped out her car.

"When I'm done tomorrow," she confirmed. "Have fun."

He just gave her an exasperated look and closed the door. It took him about twenty minutes to run back to the Compound, and he was grateful not to stumble across Estella like he had yesterday. When he reached his door, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness swept over him. He paused before entering and looked over at Jessie's closed door. He was so tired and wanted so badly to walk into her room, curl up next to her, and drown out the rest of the world for a while.

He knows he promised himself that he was gonna try and keep things normal between them until everything with his mother was over. Being around her would only make things harder he tried to convince himself earlier, but right now he feels like being around her is the only thing that will help him calm his mind enough to get some rest. As long as they don't talk anyways, at least not about anything that matters.

Before he even knew what he was doing, his hand was turning her doorknob. He knew this wasn't right on so many levels, but he didn't turn around. When he saw her lying there holding onto her stuffed bear, he couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. She looked so innocent and beautiful. He could have stood there and watched her for hours.

Then he took a breath, took off his shoes, and walked up to her. He dropped to his haunches beside her bed and ran his hand over her cheek. "Hey," he called out softly and she stirred a little. "Hey Ace," he called again, still stroking her face.

"Hmm," he heard, and she opened her eyes a bit. "What's wrong?" she asked sleepily. He saw that she was about to sit up so he stopped her.

"No, no don't get up," he said quickly. "Nothing's wrong," he assured her. "I just uh…," but he didn't know what to say. "I can't sleep," he confessed. "Can I just lay with you for a while?" he asked nervously.

Jessie didn't answer him. She just scooted over and lifted her covers for him to climb in with her. Then she rolled over onto her stomach and stared over at him. "You ok?" she asked quietly and began to brush the hair back from his forehead.

"Fine," he said, just closing his eyes and enjoying her touch.

"Liar," she said softly. "Don't think I forgot that you never told me what was wrong before."

"I'm just tired," he answered, throwing his arm over his face.

"Liar," she accused again and then curled up next to him, putting her head over his heart and clutching his t-shirt. She's still determined to find out what's bothering him, but is also perfectly content to lie in his arms for a few hours, and forget about everything else.

Her actions surprised him for a second, but then he let out a deep breath and felt truly content for the first time since he's woke up with her in his arms the morning that she left for school. He took his arm away from his face, wrapped it around her, and then fell asleep.


	16. Insanity

_A/N: Hey all, sorry for the short chapter. I've hit a bit of writer's block, and I've been working on another story in the meantime. I've also been trying to set up a website, but the fact that I'm computer challenged isn't helping. If anyone can offer me advice or a good "how to for dummies" type webpage, it'd be much appreciated. Thanks!_

Jessie didn't dare move a muscle until she felt his breathing steady. He was obviously exhausted, judging by how quickly he fell into a deep sleep, but Jessie was now wide awake. She wanted to know why he came to her. To say that she was surprised to be awakened by him with such a request was an understatement. She was floored, happy, nervous, and concerned all at the same time. However, she has an unshakable feeling that she's not gonna find out the truth behind his actions for a while.

He's definitely hiding something. At first, she thought, and rather hoped, that it had to do with the idea of Jordan, but now she thinks that something much bigger is going on. They need to have a long talk and soon. She wants to know what's going on with him, and she wants to know what's going on with them. She knows that she didn't imagine the conversation they had when he gave her the locket, or the way he'd been looking at her. And she definitely didn't imagine what they were feeling when they were together on the couch or in his room.

Lying in his arms felt amazing, and she couldn't help but think of how great it'd be if she could do this on a more regular basis. Nothing would make her happier than to work everything out with him, so that they were committed to each other emotionally and physically. She couldn't help but squirm a little at the thought of the physical part. The truth is, she's never imagined being with anyone else.

"I love you," she whispered softly into his chest, even though she knew he couldn't hear her. Then she allowed herself to fall asleep, knowing that she wouldn't get to be with him like this for very much longer.

Like he did every other morning at 6:00, Race was making his way to the kitchen to meet Jonny for a run. Unlike every other morning, however, he was met in the kitchen by his ex-wife instead of Jonny.

"Morning," she replied curtly.

Race cleared his throat before answering. "Stel," he said, without looking her in the eye, but then he turned towards her. "We need to talk. Can we go for a walk?" he asked.

"I'm drinking my coffee," she said.

"Most people are capable of doing both at the same time," he told her.

"We told Jessie that we wouldn't fight," she said slamming down her cup.

"I don't wanna fight with you, I wanna talk to you," he said tightly. "About our daughter."

"What about her?" she asked evasively.

"You are unbelievably stubborn and selfish," he yelled. "How would you feel if someone dictated to you who you should be with?" he posed. "Would you put up with the shit your pulling?"

"I wish to God that someone had talked some sense into me back then," she told him, getting into his face.

"Do you really," he laughed. "Because I believe your mother did try…"

"And I was the idiot who didn't listen," she interrupted loudly.

"And we had an amazing daughter," he countered. "Do you regret that too, you…"

But he didn't get to finish because her hand came in contact with his face. "Never say that to me again, you son of a bitch," she said forcefully.

"Then stop acting like a self-centered witch and start acting like a mother. Start considering and respecting your child's feelings," he told her.

"She's thinks she's in love with Jonny," she told him incredulously.

"She told me," he said.

"What?" Estella asked surprised. "She told…,"

"Yeah, she told me," he repeated. "She was afraid you'd tell me first, and I guess she was right," he said bitterly.

"So you would approve of this?" she asked, almost disgusted.

"Yes," he said firmly. "I want my daughter to be happy, and Jonny is a good kid. I would know. You wouldn't," he finished.

"Jesus, I was hoping you'd have my back on this. You had a front row seat to the train wreck we called a marriage. Do you really want our daughter to go through that?" she asked. "That's what I'm trying to prevent."

"Stel, first of all, Jessie is not you and Jonny is not me. They are their own people. Second of all, you don't get to tell her who to love. She won't let you, so stop trying. You're just gonna ruin your relationship with her. Why don't you just step back and get some perspective before you regret it?" he suggested.

"The only thing I'll regret is if I can't get her to see my way of thinking," she said fiercely, and then left the room.

"Jessie," he whispered softly, as he kissed his way down her body. She loved the way her name sounded on his lips, and she loved the way his lips felt on her throat.

"Morning," he breathed in her ear.

"Mmm," was all she could manage, as he continued to kiss her neck.

"Jessie," she heard again.

"Mmm… Jonny"

"Jessie," he whispered in her ear. "Wake up," he told her, rubbing her back. "Jessie," he called again.

"Hmm," she said groggily, emerging from her half awake-half asleep state. She was disoriented for a second until she remembered the night before, and realized that she must have just been dreaming about Jonny. She only hopes that she didn't say anything in her sleep.

"Hey," she mumbled into his chest, before rolling over onto her stomach. "You gonna tell me what's going on?" she asked with a scratchy voice, immediately wanting to know what was wrong with him.

Jonny just took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure what to say to her. He still doesn't wanna tell her about his mom, but he doesn't wanna lie to her either. "I was just feeling weird last night, and I didn't wanna be alone," he told her, which was an honest statement.

"What were you feeling weird about?" she asked, already knowing that she wasn't gonna get a straight answer.

"It's kinda hard to explain," he said slowly.

"Try," she insisted.

"Look, is it alright if we just talk…"

"…about this later," she interrupted, finishing his sentence. "Whatever," told him, and then hopped out of bed and made her way quickly to her bathroom. She ignored his calls after her. She was completely annoyed and fed up.

Jonny quickly jumped out of his bed and put on his shoes. The last thing he wanted was to be caught in Jessie's room by Race, but he couldn't leave her like this. "Jessie, come on," he pleaded. "Open the door," he requested, knocking softly.

"Just go away," she yelled.

"No, I'm not leaving. Open the door and talk to me," he told her.

"You don't seem like you're in a talking mood," she retorted, and then opened the door quickly.

Jonny immediately took two steps back when he saw the look on her face. "Ya know," she started slowly and looked him right in the eye. "Thinking that you don't trust me doesn't make me feel very good," she fumed, echoing the words he used against her when they were fighting in his car her first night back.

Jonny's jaw just dropped at her words. He's known all along that he's being a hypocrite, but he still can't make himself talk.

"Jesus," she breathed disbelievingly. "Just go," she told him, and shut the door on him again.

"Fuck," he whispered softly to himself and then made his way to his room to get changed. He knew from experience that Race would be coming to find him in about two minutes if he didn't show up in the kitchen, so he put on a pair of sweats, took the steps two at a time, and arrived in the kitchen about thirty seconds later.

"Hey," he greeted Race, who was sitting on a stool behind the island in the center of the room, looking like he was ready to kill someone. Jonny just hoped it wasn't him.

"Let's go," Race replied gruffly and walked out the back door.

Jonny followed quickly, not wanting to anger him further.

"What's wrong?" he asked as they began a light trot.

"Nothing I can solve at the moment," he admitted with a sigh.

"Wanna talk about?" Jonny asked cautiously

"Wanna hit it is more like it," Race replied.

"Estella," Jonny guessed, understanding Race's frustration

Race just grunted, but Jonny knew that he'd hit the nail on the head.

"You guys aren't fighting are you?" Jonny asked.

"No…well, we did, but I won't let it happen again," Race told him. "The woman is just so damn infuriating."

"Tell me about it," Jonny mumbled.

Race just grinned and then they continued their run without discussing it any further.

About an hour later, Jonny found himself having the most uncomfortable meal in his life. Race was trying to avoid Estella, Estella was avoiding Race, and Jessie seemed to be ignoring him, her mother, and Jordan, while his father remained blissfully clueless.

"So is there anything special that anyone would like to do today before we head to Washington?" his father asked. "Jonny?"

"Uh…not really Pop," he replied.

"Jessie?" Dr. Quest prompted.

"I think I just wanna rest up for tonight," she responded. "I didn't really sleep well last night," she emphasized, Jonny knew, for his benefit. Then she got up from the table, and walked away without another word. Jonny couldn't help but notice that she had taken off his mother's locket, and he couldn't help the way that made his heart constrict. He really just wanted to scream. He wanted his mom back and he wanted Jessie, but he feels like he's on the brink of losing them both.

He can't lose them. He won't survive it. He needs to do something.

"Dad, can I talk to you?" Jonny suddenly asked, standing up and heading for his father's study without waiting for an answer.

"What's going on?" his father asked a few minutes later, closing the study door. "Are you alright son?"

"Dad," he started slowly. "Would it be a huge deal if I skipped the Christmas party this year?" he finished hopefully.

"Why would you wanna do that?" Dr Quest asked, clearly disappointed. "I was looking forward to bragging about you," he smiled proudly. "And you always have so much fun."

'Yeah…with Jessie,' Jonny thought, and then exhaled loudly. "I'm really just not in the mood for it today, and you can brag all you want without me," he said.

"Jonny, it's a family tradition," his father commented a little sadly, and Jonny felt really guilty for it.

"I know Pop, but it's not like I'm asking to spend Christmas away from home. It's just a party, and it's just one night. You guys will all be back early tomorrow morning. Please," he asked.

His father sighed, but agreed.

"Thanks Pop," Jonny smiled. Jessie might be mad at him, but at least he'll be able to go with Jade tonight, and he'll get to avoid watching Jordan and Jessie together. 'Two out of three ain't bad with the week I've had,' he thought. He hates to disappoint his father, but if all goes well, he'll be making up for any disappointment with the most amazing Christmas present ever. He can't pretend to have fun at a party. He needs to do something productive, and even though he'd like to focus his efforts on Jessie, he needs to be thinking about his mother right now.

As relieved as he felt when his father agreed to his request, his stomach tightened up again the moment he began walking back towards the dinning room. He couldn't stay in this house all day. "I'm gonna go get some last minute Christmas shopping done," he announced to everyone at the table, changing direction from his chair to the foyer where he had left his jacket and keys.

He left without another word, and didn't really breathe again until he had driven outside of the Compound walls. After a few minutes, he pulled to the side of the road, turned the radio up as loud as possible, leaned his head back against the seat, and closed his eyes.

No matter how loud he cranked the music, however, he couldn't shut his mind down for even a second. Thinking back over the last few days, the only waking moments he's had where he didn't feel like his head was gonna explode was when he was kissing Jessie. Just thinking about her didn't help though, so he quickly threw his car back in gear and began to drive.

Three hours later, he felt no better and had wasted a ridiculous amount of gas for not really going anywhere, but he still didn't wanna go home, so he pulled out his phone to call Jade.

"Hey, I didn't expect to talk to you again so soon," she greeted. "What's up?"

"Can we meet?" he asked quickly.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I just really need to talk to you," he said.

"We're talking right now," she responded. "What's going on?"

"I know," he said anxiously. "I just need to talk to you and I can't be in my house right now, so can we meet?" he asked again, clearly agitated.

"Sure. Where?" she resigned.

"There's a small stretch of beach downtown behind the promenade," he told her. "Can you meet me there?" he asked.

"I'll be there," she told him.

"Thanks," he replied, hanging up the phone and making a u-turn to head downtown.

Twenty minutes later, he was walking towards the rocks that he hasn't visited since Jessie's last night before leaving a few months ago, but it wasn't Jessie sitting on the rocks.

"Thanks for coming," he said, climbing up to sit next to her.

"No problem," she told him. "Now tell me what's going on," she insisted.

"Look Jade, I know that I promised to follow your lead, but I really need a timeframe," he begged. "Even if it's just a loose one. Please give me something. I'm going insane. I have way too many what-ifs going on in my head right now and I need a resolution somewhere," he confessed.

"Well, I suggest you look elsewhere for a resolution because you're not getting it here," she told him with a serious expression.

"JADE," he screamed, finally unable to control his emotions any longer. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND…"

"YOU'RE RIGHT I DON'T," she interrupted, but then continued more calmly. "…but we had a deal, and you're not breaking your promise, Jonny. You were fine when I left you a few hours ago. What changed?" she asked.

"Nothing's changed. That's the problem," he breathed.

"What other what-ifs are plaguing you besides your mom?" she asked softly.

"Nothing that I can deal with until I know my mom is safe," he sighed, running a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I'm totally fine," he apologized quickly, realizing that she was gonna go to Race if she thought he couldn't handle this. "I just wanted to get out of my house. Jessie's mom is here for the holiday, and the two of us don't really get along. With everything else that's going on, I'm afraid that'll I'll blow up on her if I don't just steer clear. And I don't wanna put Jess in a weird spot, so I've just been hanging out alone for the most part the past few days, which is not good for me right now because then I start thinking way too much," he admitted. "I think about her scared and alone all this time, and it makes me feel so helpless that I can't do anything about it. I hate feeling helpless. She's my mom," he finished softly.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I know this is hard on you…"

"…but I'm fine," he interrupted. "There's still no need to get Race involved at all."

She just sighed, but nodded.

"I just didn't wanna be alone," he told her. "I needed a friend."

"Well, I'm here when you need me," she said.

"Thanks," he smiled. "Hey listen, I'm gonna come with you tonight. I was able to get out of the party."

"Nice," she grinned, jumping off the rocks. "I'll pick you up at midnight, and I'll start thinking about a timeframe," she promised softly.

"Thanks," he breathed.

"You coming?" she asked.

"No, I'm gonna hang here for a while. I'll see you tonight," he sighed, staring out into the ocean.


	17. Duking it Out

As Jessie ran at full speed along the beach, she couldn't figure out which emotion was currently driving her most: anger, frustration, or sadness. All she knew for sure was that Jonny was the cause, which made her want to be angry with him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't be mad at him because she can tell that whatever's going on with him is serious and because she doesn't wanna make things more complicated. Mostly though, she can't be mad just because she loves him so much. She wants to fix it for him, whatever it is. She wants to make his everything alright. So it's unbelievably frustrating when he won't let her help.

The last time she remembers feeling this helpless was when Jonny disappeared two years ago. No matter what she did, no matter what anyone did, they couldn't find him. That week was absolutely life changing for her. She'd never been so mind-numbingly afraid in her life, and she wasn't even in any danger. That was the week she came to realize the depths of her feelings for her best friend. When she saw him on the beach, alive, safe, and walking right towards her, it was like something out of a dream. She had never been so relieved or happy in all her life, but she'd also never been so shocked when he began to cry. That was the first and only time she's seen him like that. At the time, she didn't know what to do except hold him. So that's what she did, until he was calm enough to talk, but he wouldn't talk about it, and he never has.

Whatever happened to him the week he was gone, changed him. It was a long time before she saw that gleam in his eye again. Before she got _her_ Jonny back, but he was never totally the same. She had tried to get him to talk about it more times than she can count, but he stonewalled to the point of not talking to her for days. Letting it go was so hard for her to do. She only did it because she knew that it was what he needed at the time. It'd kill her to have to do that again, but she would. She'd do anything for him, which was as powerful a feeling as it was true. And even though she hated that any man had this much control over her, she wouldn't give up on this man for anything.

When she reached the edge of the Compound, she almost turned around to run all the way back too because she wanted to continue working off her stress and it wasn't the nicest day, but she didn't wanna go back to that house. She couldn't be within two feet of her mother without exploding, and Jordan was a close second on the list of people she wanted nothing to do with at the moment.

After breakfast, he had come up to her room to talk to her. He didn't get the hint after three minutes of knocking with only silence as a response, so she let him in out of pure annoyance and didn't even try to hide it.

"What Jordan?" she asked as she was opening the door. "I want to be alone," she told him, leaning her arm against the door frame so he couldn't enter.

"Can I come in?" he laughed.

"No," she deadpanned. "I want to be alone. Besides, my father doesn't take too kindly to boys in my bedroom, and he's not exactly a teddy bear in case you haven't noticed," she commented. "Just trying to look out for you, bud."

"But that rule doesn't apply to your _best friend,_ does it?" he accused.

"He lives here you smartass," she shot right back. "He can go anywhere he wants," she smiled.

"Anywhere, huh?" he scoffed.

"Yep," she grinned, completely fed up. "Anywhere."

"Why are you acting like this?" he asked angrily.

"Why are you here?" she wanted to know.

"I want to be with you. I wanted to spend the holiday with you. You know that," he responded.

"And I told you I wanted to be with my family," she said.

"Well isn't this the best of both worlds?" he questioned. "You get us both," he smiled, and she didn't know how to react. "Look, I know everything with us is happening fast and that probably scares you. Hell, it scares me too, but I refuse to run away. So run all you want," he told her. "Hide in your relationship with your best friend so you don't have to think about me, pine away for a man that doesn't love you when one that does is standing right in front of you. Do whatever it is that you need to do, but just know that I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Jessie."

"NO…you…don't," she said slowly and deliberately just like she did when her mother told her that Jordan loved her. "You can't. You don't know me. Maybe you think that you do, but you don't. Infatuation is not love. You couldn't possibly love me in a real…deep down…life-changing…'I would do anything for you'… 'I love you because of your flaws, not in spite of them'… and 'I wanna spend my whole life making you smile and making your world ok'…way. You haven't known me long enough. So don't tell me that you love me because those words are so precious and they shouldn't be thrown around," she finished slowly, still feeling the sting of his declaration that she was pining away for a man that didn't return her feelings.

"Don't tell me how to feel," he breathed.

"Stop pushing me to feel something that I don't," she retorted.

"Only because you won't give yourself the chance," he said softly, lightly caressing her arm for just a second.

"God, you sound like my mother," she told him, rolling her eyes and sighing.

"Let him go," he whispered, ignoring her comment.

"What?" she asked.

"Just," he paused. "I'm just asking for one night. Tonight…the Christmas party. One night, where it's just you and me. One night, where you give yourself the chance to love me or even the chance to love me someday. All I'm asking for is a _chance_ with you. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met, and I can't just walk away from that. I'd never forgive myself if I gave up so easily. I want you to let him go, but at least just let him go for tonight. Please?" he almost begged. "It should make things easier that he's not coming."

"Huh? Since when?" Jessie asked.

"Dr. Quest told us a few minutes ago," he informed her. "So what do you say?" he asked nervously.

As soon as she heard Jonny wasn't going, she felt herself deflate and she didn't wanna go either. She's never been to this party without him and they always have so much fun together. 'This is just like the faire,' she thinks, feeling that chocking sensation she gets every time she thinks about Jordan taking Jonny's place.

"I need some time to think," she suddenly breathed. "I'm going for a run…alone," she clarified, pushing her way past him.

"Jess," he said, grabbing her hand and waiting for her to turn around, but she refused. "I'm not going anywhere," he repeated.

Jessie could only close her eyes, take a deep breath, and walk away. Unfortunately, running hadn't provided her with any epiphanies. Instead, she found herself just staring out into the ocean and wondering where Jonny was. It was all so overwhelming that she didn't even try to stop her tears. She just put her head down to let go, and that's how Jonny found her.

After a few hours of his own just staring out into the ocean, Jonny had made two decisions. One, he was still gonna keep everything about his mother to himself no matter how badly he wanted to tell someone. He spent more than an hour out on the rocks trying to convince himself that telling Jessie was the best course of action, but he couldn't do it. The bottom line was that telling her could put her in danger, and he wouldn't knowingly do that even if it meant keeping something from her. Regardless of that fact, however, or maybe more because of it, he also decided that he needed to apologize to her. He needed to make her understand that he wasn't holding back because he didn't trust her.

When he got back to the Compound, the first person he ran into was Jordan and he was in not mood for the guy.

"Seen Jessie?" he asked, making no attempt to sound polite.

"Yeah, we had a really long conversation this morning. It was pretty great," Jordan replied smugly.

"I'm…happy for you?" Jonny replied sarcastically. "So where is she? I need to talk to her. Did she go for a run?" he asked.

"Why don't you just leave her alone?" Jordan suggested.

"Why don't you stay out of my business?" Jonny replied, and then turned to walk away.

"Ya know, it's pretty pathetic that you're pining away over someone that's in love with someone else," Jordan taunted.

Jonny froze for a second, distressed by the possible truth behind his words, but he knew that Jordan was just trying to get a rise out of him. This guy had even less of a window into Jessie heart than he did.

The comment made Jonny turn back around with a small laugh, marked by disbelief. "You wish that were true, but I think we both know that you're describing yourself right now…not me," he finished with a lot more confidence than he had about the whole situation. Then he walked out the door to look for Jessie, and found her crying. It was the third time he'd seen her cry since she'd been home. He just hoped he wasn't the cause again.

"Jessie," he called out softly, grasping her shoulder lightly.

She didn't hear him coming, so she didn't have time to wipe away all of her tears before he could see.

"Why are you crying," he asked.

Jessie just shook her head and stood up. She was afraid that she'd start crying harder if she tried to talk.

"What's wrong?" he prompted a second time.

"Nothing," she finally choked out, turning her back and wiping at her eyes.

He wanted to say, 'Don't lie,' but didn't think that would go over so well.

"I saw Jordan," he sighed. "Did you guys have a fight or something?" he asked, trying not to sound hopeful, but still praying that he wasn't the cause of her tears.

"Not really," she cried. "Are you coming to the Christmas party?" she then asked, turning back towards him.

Jonny just looked down and shook his head no. He didn't wanna see her face if she was disappointed, and he definitely didn't wanna see her face if she wasn't.

"Why?" she asked a little choked up. She hated the thought of going without him, and she didn't wanna deal with Jordan. Thinking of Jordan, she became overwhelmed and couldn't stop herself from getting upset again. No matter how hard she tried to move on, no matter how many plans she considered or guys she dated, the simple fact was that her heart didn't want anyone but Jonny.

Admitting that to herself was so hard because it meant dealing with the possibility of really losing him, which she always knew was gonna break her heart, but she didn't know it was gonna hurt this bad. "Please come?" she almost begged. If she wasn't so upset, she'd have slapped herself for the way she was acting. "I can't…I don't wanna…please come," she said again.

"Come here," Jonny said, pulling her into his arms. The way she was acting scared him. It was so out of character.

"Please," she repeated into his chest, melting into the comfort of his arms.

"Why are you so upset?" he whispered.

"Jordan…I don't," she hesitated. "I can't… be alone with him…he…"

"Did he do something to you?" Jonny asked, pulling away until she was at an arm's length so he could look her in the eye. However, he didn't let her answer, his mind immediately going to a dark place. "What did he do? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you? I WILL RIP HIS FUCKING HEART OUT?" he screamed.

"NO," she interrupted. "It's not like that," she said, stepping out of his grasp and wrapping her arms around herself.

He calmed down at her words, but only a little. "Then what?" he asked anxiously.

Jessie wanted to pour her heart out, but she found herself getting angry at his hypocritical attitude and she was irrationally angry at him for abandoning her tonight.

"I don't feel like talking about it?" she told him and then it was Jonny's turn to get angry.

"Look," he started. "I'm sorry about this morning. I came to find you so I could apologize, but I don't know how many ways I can tell you that I can't talk about it," he finished.

"Can't or won't," she accused.

"Jessie," he breathed. "Please understand. I want to tell you. I just spent the last hour trying to convince myself that it made the most sense to tell you. You have no idea how badly I want to because I hate fighting with you and I feel like I'm…choking," he told her. "Just please don't be mad at me. I can't handle that right now too."

"Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"No," he answered honestly.

"Then how do you expect me to let it go? Would you? How would you feel if I was in trouble and refused to tell you why?" she posed.

"I wouldn't stop asking until you told me everything," he said. "Just like you're doing now," he added with a small smile that she did not return.

Jessie just threw her hands up in frustration. "So you know exactly how I feel, and you still won't tell me?"

Jonny swallowed deeply and closed his eyes before answering, "Yes."

"Promise you'll tell me if you're in danger though," she ordered a little desperately and saw his shoulders slump.

"I don't make promises to you that I can't keep," he said heavily.

"Jonny, you're scaring me," she told him, breathing deeply. Now she was really worried. "I can't lose you again," she said so quietly he almost didn't hear, and she unknowingly struck a chord that she didn't know was there.

"You…never did lose me," he answered slowly and a little confused.

"What about two years ago?" she challenged. "Do you have ANY idea how scared I was? I thought…" but she couldn't finish that sentence. "And then you wouldn't say what happened to you. Does what's going on now have anything to do with that?" she asked, knowing that he wouldn't answer. "I can't let you do that to us again," she told him. "I have to tell my dad…"

"NO," he shouted. "You have no idea what that would do to me?"

"THAN TELL ME," she yelled right back.

"Just believe me that it would do more harm than good to tell your father," he told her.

"How do I know you're not just saying that?" she asked.

"I NEVER LIE TO YOU," he screamed, but then tried to calm down a bit. "I may not tell you everything," he said haltingly. "But I never lie, and I'm not lying now."

"Would you lie to protect me?" she challenged and he felt like the wind had been knocked right out of him.

"I'd kill to protect you…you KNOW that," he said forcefully. "And you're right, ok. I'm not telling to protect you, but that's MY choice because this is MY problem."

"Sometimes an omission hurts worse than I lie," she told him.

"Hurting you is the last thing I'd ever do," he said.

"Well, for someone that doesn't wanna hurt me, you've been doing a really good job of it lately," she said before she could stop herself and then immediately regretted it. He looked like she had just punched him in the face.

Jonny didn't know what to say to that, but he knows that he'd never felt worse in his life.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean…"

"Yes you did," he interrupted. "And believe me I'll never forgive myself for it, but I can't tell you," he finished. "And I'm not lying," he added.

"Fine," she relented unwillingly. "But since I don't know all the facts, I'm telling my father the _moment _I think you're not safe," she finished seriously and he felt another sharp pain in his gut.

"I'll never forgive you," he then said quietly without meeting her eyes. It's the hardest thing he's ever said to anyone, but he had to think of his father.

"What?" she asked out of breath.

"If you tell him," he started slowly and then met her gaze. "No matter how things turn out, I'll…I'll never forgive you. It'd absolutely kill me, but I won't."

Now Jessie knew she must've looked like she'd just been punched in the face.

"Jonny…" she started, not sure what she wanted to say. She was completely exhausted by their conversation and everything with Jordan seemed so trivial at that point. She couldn't help the fresh wave of tears that came pouring out of her eyes. If she told no one, she might lose him. If she told anyone, she'd definitely lose him. If that 'might' didn't mean that he could be hurt or killed, this would be a simple decision, but this situation was anything but simple now.

It broke his heart when she started crying again, but there was nothing he could do but reach out to her. He was happy and really surprised when she didn't resist. He just held her tightly until she had let it all out, and then he continued to hold her and stroke her hair softly. The thought crossed his mind that this could be the last time he ever got to hold her, but he quickly pushed that idea away.

"Do you trust me?" he asked suddenly.

"That has nothing…," she started, but he interrupted.

"Do you trust me?" he asked again, more harshly.

"More than anyone," she replied quietly, pulling him even closer.

"Then trust that I have a good reason for everything that I'm doing," he told her, taking a miniscule step back so he could hold her head in his hands. "And trust that I'd never do anything that'd prevent me from…" he breathed heavily and was so overwhelmed by the trust he found in her eyes despite the argument they just had. "To prevent me from having the chance to do this," he said, and then his lips came crashing down to meet hers.

Jessie was surprised, but it didn't take her long to respond just as enthusiastically. The kissed was fueled on emotion. Whether is mostly anger, fear, desperation, guilt, or love, Jessie was unsure, but it was without I doubt the most passionate kiss she's ever experienced. Before she knew it, they were both sinking to the ground and she found that she loved the feeling of his body on top of hers almost as much as she loved his lips.

She was about to protest when she felt his lips leave hers, but almost started crying all over again when she felt him wiping and kissing away the remnants of tears that were still covering her face. Then he moved down to the pulse point on her neck and she was gone. That was without a doubt her spot, and it was taking all of her self control not to call out his name, which meant she had little control over the rest of her body's reaction.

Everytime her body slightly arched into his, Jonny felt a jolt of desire rush through him, but he refused to let it overtake him. He wanted to focus on her, and he wanted to make her_ feel_ how much she meant to him and how sorry he was that he had hurt her because he didn't know how to say it.

"Just trust me," he whispered in her ear, and then covered her lips again before she could answer.

Jessie wasn't sure if he was asking for her trust again based off their conversation, or if he was asking her to just let go and be with him. Her answer was yes either way. Jessie was beginning to feel a little light-headed, and was glad that they were laying down when she felt him run his tongue along her lower lip begging entrance. She more than willingly open her mouth to oblige, but all that filled it was a scream as a loud crack of thunder pierced through the air in that moment and scared them both up into a sitting position. Then the skies opened up and it began to pour.

Jonny didn't know if this was fate telling him that he wasn't good enough for her or one big cosmic joke at his expense. All he did know was that it was pouring in the middle of December, and he didn't want Jessie to get sick. So he got to his feet, helped her up, and began to run back to the Compound. He realized quickly, however, that Jessie wasn't at his side. She was walking slowly behind him with her arms wrapped around herself again.

"Hey, come on. I don't want you to catch cold," he told her.

"Can we just walk?" she asked. "I don't mind the rain."

"Sure," he said, not having the heart to tell her no. So he just wrapped his arms around her, and kept a steady pace.

Jessie was still in a bit of a daze from their kissing. She found it a little odd that they could just do that so naturally, and then act like nothing happened. 'Why is he doing that?' she wondered. She wanted to talk about it, but decided that he had enough on his plate right now.

"So why don't you wanna be alone with him tonight?" Jonny asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"It's not really important," she told him, and Jonny stopped in his tracks and waited for her to turn towards him.

"It made you cry," he said caressing the side of her face. "That makes it important to me," he said, and then continued walking.

"He's just," she started, but didn't know how to explain it without getting into things that she didn't want to talk about.

"What?" he prompted.

"Let's just say that he and my mother see eye to eye, and he's pushing me to feel something that I just don't, so it's pretty frustrating," she sighed.

"I saw him in the house when I was looking for you earlier," Jonny commented. "And he made a big production of telling me how you guys had some great conversation this morning."

"God," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and apparently I should just stay away from you because it would be for the best," he told her in an amused tone.

"What?" she asked, not finding it funny at all. "Please tell me you don't put an ounce of weight on his opinion."

"Yeah, don't worry. It's far less than an ounce," he grinned and squeezed her closer. "I'll come," he whispered in her ear without thinking about anything else. It won't be the funniest night of his life, but he'd do anything for her.

"You will," she smiled and he nodded yes. "Thank you," she told him, throwing her arms around his neck, but the smile she gave him was thanks enough.

"We better run back though," he suggested. "I don't think we have much time before we have to get going."

"I know," she replied and they were off.

As he ran with the rain beating down against his skin, Jonny heard that nagging little voice in the back of his head telling him that he shouldn't be going to this party. He should be focusing on his mother now, but the truth is that he's still not sure if it's really her. And if it is her, he's not sure if he can save her. And if he can save her, he doesn't think it can be tonight. There's so much uncertainty and so much he can't control, but he can control this. He can do something to make the woman he loves, the woman that's right in front of him, smile. And that's just what he's gonna do.


	18. Christmas Party

_A/N: Happy Holidays all and enjoy. As a side note, give me a little love will ya. I always assumed that about five people were reading this story, but now that we have these nifty little stat counter I can see that it's many more, which is awesome. Unless it's the same obsessive five people. In which case I thank you, but if not…let me know what you think. It's much appreciated. Thanks!_

"Jessie, where have you been?" Estella yelled, as they walked through the front door ten minutes later, smiling and soaked to the bone. "We're leaving in forty minutes," she exclaimed.

"Then I'll be ready in thirty-nine," Jessie replied curtly, brushing past her mother without another word.

Jonny just cleared his throat uncomfortably and walked by, as well.

"Jonny," she called after him almost sweetly. _Almost_ anyway.

"Yes," he sighed, turning around reluctantly.

"You're not good enough for her," she whispered violently.

"Then you should have nothing to worry about," he whispered back, smiling and making no effort to be nice to her anymore. "In case you haven't noticed, and I can't see how you could've since you're never around, your daughter is both extremely independent and extremely intelligent. She knows exactly what she wants and what she deserves, Estella."

"I…know…that," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Then why the fuck are you so concerned," he grinned with a lot more confidence than he felt.

"You really are just like Race," she said in disbelief, shaking her head and beginning to worry for her daughter even more.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"That wasn't a compliment," she retorted.

"You're hardly objective," he informed her.

"Please, I know things about that man that would curl your toes," she told him.

"Well then it's a good thing I find your opinion wholly unimportant or I guess I'd be in some real trouble. The things you could reveal…why my every childhood experience would just have to be questioned and reevaluated," he finished sarcastically, knowing that nothing she could ever say would change his feelings towards Race.

"Do you talk to my daughter like that you condescending little bastard?" she asked.

"Only when she doesn't have my dinner ready on the table when I get home," he quipped, and she just stared at him with an open mouth.

She was about to shoot back with a nasty reply when Jonny's father came into her eye line. "I'm so sorry you won't be joining us tonight, sweetheart. We'll all miss you," she suddenly smiled.

Jonny was thrown off for a second before he realized why her attitude had changed so quickly.

"Yes, you will be," his father confirmed, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, no worries then," Jonny grinned. "I've changed my mind about the party."

"Really," his father's face lit up, which Jonny found almost as satisfying as the scowl that crossed Estella's features.

"Yeah," Jonny replied, and then directed his comments more towards Estella. "I didn't feel like it at first, but Jessie convinced me. She _really _wanted me to go," he emphasized. "And you know how I like to have her owe me one, Pops."

Jonny's father just laughed and shook his head, happy that he was gonna be with his whole family now. "Well, you've made me very happy, son. Now go get ready before you make me very late, as well."

"See you in a few," he replied, running up the stairs two at a time with a huge smirk on his face.

"What's that smile for?" he heard Jessie ask when he reached the top of the stairs, and that's when he began to feel guilty because it was Jessie's mother he was disrespecting. Even though she had started it, he knows that he should've been the bigger man for Jessie's sake.

"Sorry," he sighed. "I was just talking to your mom and…," he started, but then cut himself off, distracted as he noticed her towel-clad state for the first time. She was still wet from the rain, so it looked as if she had already taken a shower and Jonny couldn't help but imagine her under the hot water. "What…um," he motioned towards her. "Are you having problems with your bathroom or something?" he asked, and then mentally kicked himself. 'Nice Quest. Real Smooth.'

"No," she smiled. "The lighting is just better in the hall bathroom, so I'm gonna get ready in there. I'll see you in a few minutes," she finished, walking away.

"Yep," he managed, right before she shut the door. "Fuck," he whispered to himself, making way to his own room to take a quick shower. "Way to sweep her off her feet."

* * *

As soon as Jessie shut the door, she took a deep breath, turned around, and sank to the floor. Every nerve ending in her body felt like it was sounding off, and she wanted so badly to just run after him and make good use of the way she was feeling. Clearly being around him with only a towel was not a good idea and she couldn't help but wonder if this was how he felt last night when they were kissing in his room.

In all honesty, there was nothing wrong with getting ready in her own bathroom, and even if there was, she wouldn't normally undress before going to the hall bathroom. She had purposely put herself in the situation, hoping to get a reaction out of Jonny, but she was too caught up in her own reactions to notice his.

"You're such an idiot," she whispered to herself, head in hand and sitting on the bathroom floor. "That was such a dumb move, and so pathetically obvious," she sighed, embarrassed by her actions.

"Ok," she told herself, standing up and starting her water. 'No more stunts,' she thought. 'Just be yourself and see what happens. If he doesn't like it, then he's not worth it.'

The only problem with that thought was _everything,_ because she knows he's worth it and the wait is killing her. She just wants to know how he feels either way at this point, but is too afraid to ask because she's even more afraid of screwing up the most amazing friendship she's ever experienced.

* * *

If you offered him a million dollars, Jonny wouldn't be able to tell you what Jessie was wearing the first time he met her, or even what she was wearing yesterday, but he knows he'll never forget the way she looked in her Christmas dress. Especially, since he can't seem to formulate any words at the moment. All he can do is stare, and commit her to memory.

It only took him fifteen minutes to shower and dress, so he just hung out in his room until it was about time to leave because he didn't wanna be in the same room with Estella any more than necessary. Besides, he wanted to talk to Jessie before her mother got the chance. He knew that she wouldn't be mad at him, but he didn't want Estella to catch her off guard and still felt a little guilty.

When he opened his door to go knock on hers and explain, however, he found that Jordan had beaten him to it. Jordan was knocking on her door as Jonny was closing his, and all he could do was lean his head back and sigh. She had a huge smile on her face when she opened the door, and it was like a knife in his gut. She was absolutely heart-stopping in a low cut, but classy, floor length black dress. He took solace in the fact that her smile faded when she saw Jordan, but he still wanted to be the one in front of her.

"Wow," Jordan exclaimed. "You look…wow," he told her. "I can't even put it into words. You've got me stopped in my tracks here," he grinned.

"Thanks," she breathed, making her way into the hall and avoiding eye contact with Jordan.

"Hey," she smiled, catching sight of Jonny.

"Hello," Jonny greeted them. "Ready to party?" he asked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"Oh yeah," she smiled. "These things are always scintillating. Shall we then?" she asked them nervously.

"After you," he told Jordan sarcastically, and was really proud of himself for resisting the urge to just shove him down the stairs.

When they reached the living room, Jonny immediately regretted giving in to her eyes. 'What the fuck was I thinking,' he thought to himself. 'Instead of helping my MOTHER, I'm gonna be spending the night listening to these people talk about things I don't give a shit about and sucking up to people more important than them. On top of that, I have to watch THEM,' he screamed internally, as he watched Jordan parade Jessie around the room like a god-damn puppet. He was having trouble not physically removing the jerk's hand from the small of her back.

"Are we ready to go?" Dr Quest asked, walking into the room, where everyone seemed to be in agreement. "Ya know, I believe the Prime Minister will be attending tonight, as well?" he told them. "I haven't seen him since Oxford. It should be a lot of fun," he commented with a smile, as everyone put on their coats

"You attended Oxford, Dr Quest?" Jordan asked with interest, abandoning his hold on Jessie.

"For a time," he told Jordan. "I received one of my doctorates there. Beautiful campus. I remember it quite fondly," he finished in a reminiscent tone.

"Do you know Professor Monroe?" Jordan questioned.

"I do," Dr Quest responded with interest. "We've worked together a few times. How do you know him?"

"Well…" Jordan started, and that's when Jonny faded out and made his way towards Jess with her coat. He hated it when people sucked up to his father, but he hated it even more that his father seemed to like this guy.

"Since your date is otherwise inclined," he quipped, coming up from behind her to help her put on her jacket.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Anytime," he told her, bringing his lips to her ears as he pulled her hair out from the back of her coat. "You are so beautiful," he whispered slowly, and he felt a shiver run through her.

"Thank you," she breathed, feeling her body flush.

"Anytime," he told her with a grin. "Well, actually all the time, but I sure as hell hope you know that. I'm sure he tells you all the time. If not, he should"

"It doesn't mean anything coming from him," she whispered.

"Does it mean something coming from me?" he asked quietly, completely drowning in the way she was looking at him.

"Let's go kids," Race boomed, shaking them both out of the moment.

"Alright," Jonny recovered. "Let's see if we can make this thing a little less lame than normal," he said, offering her is arm, which she readily accepted.

Jordan and his parents were still happily chatting away with his father when they reached the limo, so Jonny happily sat as close to Jessie as he could without seeming too obvious. He caught Estella staring at them and knew that she could see right through him, but he didn't care. Although, it did remind him that he wanted to tell Jessie about his encounter with her mother.

It only took a few minutes to reach the tarmac and board the plane, so Jonny was able to sit next to Jessie on the plane, as well, since the Professor Monroe led to even more boring conversation.

The Quest Jet easily accommodates fifty, with ten rows of five seats across. Three on one side and two on the other. Jordan and Dr Quest were chatting away in the first row, while Estella and Jordan's parents sat across from them. Jonny was making his way up the aisle to the second row, when Jessie suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him into the last row.

He gave her a confused look, but she just shrugged and he wasn't about to argue. "Hey, I gotta tell you something real quick," he told her as they were buckling in.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Listen, earlier I had a bit of a…uh…discussion with your mother," he said slowly.

"And…" she prompted nervously, afraid of what her mother might have said to him.

"I just…well…things got a little heated, and I probably said some things to her that I shouldn't have. She was being…" he paused, not wanting to insult her.

"My mother," Jessie finished for him.

"Yes," he told her. "In prime form, but that doesn't give me the right to be rude to her so I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Are you?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm not sorry for what I said," he clarified. "Just that I said it, because she's _your_ mother and I should have respected that and just held my tongue. I'm apologizing to you, not her," he smiled.

"Hmm…now how can you repay me?" she posed playfully and Jonny grinned. "Looks like you're gonna have to dance with me tonight. I'm sorry, you deserve it though."

"I'll try to suffer through it," he laughed.

"Jessie, are you ok?" he mother broke in from the front of the plane.

"Still alive," Jessie informed her.

"Come up here," she ordered.

"In a minute," Jessie replied. "I like to sit in the back during take off."

"Make sure your seatbelts are secure," they all suddenly heard Race's voice over the intercom. "We are on our way," he told them, as the plane began to move.

Jonny was so focused on the movement of the plane that it surprised him when felt Jessie's hot breath on his ear thanking him for coming, and he instinctively turned towards her so that their lips weren't even an inch apart.

This time, she kissed him first, and he couldn't help but grin against her lips a little, ignoring the popping in his ears as the plane continued to climb

"I really appreciate this," she breathed heavily and then kissed him again. "I know this is the last place you wanna …mmm," he cut her off, extremely turned on by the fact that they were doing this just a few feet away from everyone.

"You're method of repayment is much better than mine," he smiled, sounding like he had just finished running a marathon.

She returned his grin and then kissed him again, running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. God knows that she wanted to do more, so she pulled back before things got too crazy.

She could read the desire in his eyes, and knew that the same look was reflected in her own. 'Say something,' she urged herself and him silently. 'What the hell are we doing here?'

"Seatbelts can come off," Race announced, and they both closed their eyes and sighed.

"So, I suppose we should go up there then," he said.

"Yeah, she'll send out the search party if we don't," Jessie replied in an annoyed tone, undoing her seatbelt and standing up.

"There they are," Estella smiled with faux sincerity, as Jonny and Jessie took a seat behind her.

"You knew where we were mother," Jessie sighed in exasperation.

Jonny then proceeded to lean his head against the cool window with intentions of drowning out all thoughts and conversations. He found it easy to ignore the conversations, but his mind was much harder to escape. At first, he was able to distract himself with thoughts of Jessie, but it wasn't long before he started worrying about his mother again. And just when he felt like he was about to choke, he felt her warm fingers entwine with his. It was like she knew he needed her, and when he met her eyes, he realized that she did know, which made the beat of his heart increase exponentially and the desire to profess his love overwhelming.

For the second time in as many hours, Jonny found himself speechless as he stared at her. He couldn't even say 'thank you,' so he just squeezed her hand. They continued to hold hands for the rest of the flight. Out in the open, even though no one could see them.

By the time they landed and reached the White House, Jonny felt like he was gonna throw up. He had to physically force himself to get out of the limo.

"Come on. It won't be so bad," he heard Jessie breath in his ear.

"Yeah," he said following her out. 'This is gonna be great,' he thought. 'Especially since Jordan has reattached himself to your hip. Just fucking great.'

* * *

Three hours into the party, and Jonny was ready to kill someone. He was sick of pretentious senators and businessman trying to make small talk with him as an avenue to his father, and he was even more sick of his father dragging him around the room to brag about his acceptances. He was worried sick about his mother, and he was sick to his stomach watching Jordan and Jessie.

He couldn't believe her. How could she kiss him, and then go off with Jordan like it didn't happen? How could she beg him to come and then ignore him? He was getting angrier by the second.

"Hey," he heard breaking into his thoughts.

"Hey," he replied, looking up to be greeted by a beautiful woman.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked, motioning toward the empty seat next to Jonny.

"It's all yours," he smiled, welcoming the distraction. "What's your name?"

"Jasmine," she told him.

"Beautiful name, but it doesn't do you justice," he grinned.

"Well, aren't you the little charmer. I regular Don Juan," she replied.

"Nah. I still got my training wheels," he told her. "But someday…absolutely," he clarified. "I need all the help I can get."

"I'm happy to oblige," she confirmed and then followed with a question. "So who's the dumb ass?"

"What?" he laughed.

"Ya know, the one that's left you here all alone. I mean… I can't complain because it's all worked out for my benefit, but she's clearly a dumb ass," Jasmine finished.

Instinctually, Jonny wanted to defend Jess. However, that instinct was quickly squashed when he stole a quick glance of them over Jasmine's shoulder.

"I'm just here with my father. No date tonight," he informed her.

"Then it really is my lucky night," she flirted.

"Wanna dance beautiful?" he asked.

"Absolutely," she smiled, taking his offered hand. "So what's your name Romeo?"

"Jonny," he supplied, foregoing the last name. He liked to avoid that part for as long as possible when first meeting someone. Although, he found it highly unlikely that she didn't know exactly who he was before she approached. Most girls do and then pretend like they don't. Perhaps he'd be flattered if he was the type to take advantage of his position, but he's not, so it's all rather annoying and just feeds his belief that he'll never find someone that truly just loves him. A thought that kills him because he knows that Jessie is the only one that really could, and he has to watch her with another man. At least, she's the only one he'd believe hearing it from, or maybe she's just the only one he wants to hear it from and feel it with. In any case, it's always been her.

"Where are you?" Jasmine laughed.

"Huh?" Jonny asked, coming out of his head.

"You just clocked out there for a minute," she told him, and then pulled herself a little closer as they continued to dance.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I thought I saw someone that I knew for a second."

"Well they couldn't possibly be more interesting than me," she grinned with confidence.

"I don't doubt that for a second," he smiled. This girl reminded him of Mary. Beautiful, confident, no strings attached, and almost enough to make him forget about Jess for a few minutes.

"So what brings you here tonight?" he asked.

"My uncle," she smiled. "I hate these things."

"Yeah me too," he agreed. "So who's your uncle? I've probably met him. I think I've met every important man here tonight actually. They tend to flock towards my father. No offense to your uncle," he quickly added.

"None taken. We're not that close. Besides, he seems to have the same problem actually," she smiled, pointing out her uncle.

"Oh yeah," he laughed. "I may have met him once or twice."

"Or saved his life as he tells it," she told him.

"Well, I hardly did it alone," he informed her.

"Modesty, good looks, and a great dancer," she listed. "No wonder my uncle has been talking you up. Probably thinks you'd be a good influence on me or something."

"You don't strike me as a follower," he whispered in her ear.

"You don't strike me as an angel?" she whispered back, feeling a jolt go through her.

"Well, that's certainly one thing I've never been accused of," he smiled.

"Then I'm glad that I ignored my first instinct to stay away from any guy my uncle seems to like so much. They're usually so…," and she let that statement hang.

"Believe me," he told her. "I know exactly what you're talking about," and they both laughed. "You're uncle throws a great party by the way," he added sarcastically. "So how come I've never seen you at these things before?"

"I've been away at school," she told him. "Learning about boundaries and how to be a lady."

"Boundaries?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she smiled, pulling him from the dance floor and out onto one of the empty balconies, where she then proceeded to push him into a corner. "Apparently, I have an issue with boundaries," she whispered, closing in on his lips without hesitation and immediately deepening the kiss.

"You're not shy are you?" he breathed when she came up for air.

She just smiled, wrapped her hands around his neck, and put her leg between his. She was as close to him as any other woman had ever been. He had only met her ten minutes ago, but he liked it.

"That's certainly one thing that I've never been accused of," she quipped, and then kissed him again.

* * *

Jessie has spent the whole evening being an idiot and she knows it. Jordan has been parading her around trying to meet every contact possible, and when there's no one to talk to he drags her out on the dance floor to whisper crap in her ear. He's spent the whole evening trying to close deals, and she's allowed herself to be treated like a Stepford Wife.

'What the fuck is wrong with me?' she suddenly thought. 'I never let people treat me like this.'

The truth is, she's been waiting the whole night for Jonny to rescue her and the longer he took the more deflated she became until she reached a point where she just didn't care anymore. She hasn't even heard a word that Jordan's said for the last hour.

In other words, she was being an idiot. For allowing Jordan to treat her like he was and, more importantly, for waiting on someone to rescue her.

'This man has scrambled my brains,' she thought, and then felt the wind being knocked out of her as she saw him leading a gorgeous girl out onto the dance floor.

"Well I'm glad to see you're still alive," she heard Jordan whisper.

"What?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"You're heart just sped up a mile a minute. I was afraid you were slipping into a coma earlier," he said snidely.

"Excuse me if I don't like being carted around like a trophy wife," she spat back.

"Well you'd certainly make a good one," he told her. "There's no denying that your beautiful, and you've definitely got that blank 'my brain is totally empty stare' down pat."

"You are seriously delusional if you think I'd _ever _let myself be put in that position," she whispered fiercely. "And if I didn't care so much about not embarrassing Dr. Quest, you'd be on the fucking ground right now," she finished, trying to pull away from him, but he wasn't letting go. "Get off me right now," she told him.

Once he released her, she felt like she needed fresh air. So, of course, directly in line with the way her night was going, she walked right into the last thing she wanted to see. The man she loved was pressed into a corner with a ridiculously beautiful girl, who felt the need to stick her tongue halfway down his throat.

She was immediately frozen in her tracks halfway to the railing, and couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes upon seeing them, but she refused to let them fall.

It couldn't have been more than two seconds before Jonny noticed her, but it felt like an eternity.

"Jessie," he started, quickly pushing Jasmine away and coming toward her.

"Eww…don't," she told him and he stopped on the spot. "Seriously don't," she whispered in a disgusted tone, unable to control the look she threw at Jasmine even if she wanted to. "This is just perfect," she said, turning around to leave as her legs were finally willing to listen to her brain, which led her directly into Jordan's arms.

"Sorry," said distractedly, not sure who she had run into until she looked up.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry he told her," rubbing his hands up her arms and pushing her more onto the balcony. He was oblivious to the presence of others. "I was wrong."

"I told you not to touch me," she said, pushing his hands off her arms.

"Jessie," he breathed in exasperation. "Stop acting like a child," he told her bringing his hands up to hold her face, but they never reached her.

He was on the ground before he even had a prayer of touching her again, and Jonny was standing over him just praying that Jordan would give him another reason. He was far less concerned about embarrassing his father than Jessie. You touch his girl and you're on the ground. It's as simple as that. It's always been as simple as that. There's no gray area in his mind.

"If you touch me again I will kill you," Jordan told him, getting up off the ground and wiping the blood from his lip.

"Funny I was thinking the same thing if you touch her again," Jonny shot back.

"This doesn't concern you," Jordan told him.

Her initial shock gone, Jessie then made her way off the balcony.

"Jess," Jonny called out, trying to grab her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.

"I believe you two can finish this bullshit macho display without me," she told them and then left, throwing one last dirty look at Jasmine.

"Looks like I'm not the only one in the doghouse," Jordan taunted.

"Get the fuck away from me man," Jonny told him and then rolled his eyes when Jordan just threw his hands in the air and left. "Pussy," Jonny whispered to himself.

"What the hell was all that?" Jasmine asked, re-announcing her presence to Jonny.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I just really hate that little fuck. He's the king of that type of guy you mentioned before by the way."

"And he's trying to move in on your territory," she offered knowingly, but he didn't respond. "So who was the girl?" she asked, sensing that referring to her as the 'dumb ass' might not be a smart move.

"My best friend," he said through gritted teeth, angry at everyone and trying not to take it out on a stranger.

"Who you are in love with, right?" she asked.

"It's not like that," he responded quickly.

"Oh come one," she laughed. "It's so obviously like that," she told him. "It's also obvious that she feels exactly the same way."

"Look…," he started. "What?"

"Uh…she loves you too, Romeo," she told him.

"No, she…" he began, but Jasmine interrupted.

"She stopped cold in her tracks the moment she saw us together. She barely stopped herself from crying. She freaked out when another man touched her, and I'm surprised that I didn't burst into flames via the dirty looks she was throwing my way. She didn't want me anywhere near you because she thinks you're hers," she smiled, walking up to him. "And you know what? I think she's right," she whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

"She freaked out when I tried to touch her too," he rationalized.

"Only because you hurt her," she told him.

"I didn't mean to," he said, closing his eyes.

"I know, but it's also true that the one you love has the most power when it comes to just bringing you to your knees," she smiled sadly.

"You have experience in this area?" he questioned softly.

"I love bringing men to their knees," she grinned, not giving him an inch and he had to respect that. "Go after her," she told him.

"I don't think she wants to see me right now," he replied.

"Probably not," she told him. "But when she thinks back on this night rationally, all she'll remember is that you didn't come after her."

"You think?" he questioned.

"I know," she answered. "Now get outta here," she smiled.

"Thanks beautiful," he whispered, kissing her hand and then walking back in to face the firing squad.


	19. Good Advice

Estella watched with both interest and concern as four kids walked one by one from the same balcony. First was Jessie, who looked upset and went straight to her father. They spoke for a few minutes and then she left in a hurry. Next came Jordan, who also looked upset, and was heading to cut-off Jessie's escape only to be intercepted by Race. The two of them had a very short conversation before Jordan continued his pursuit of Jessie. Then came Jonny, who also went right to Race. They talked for a few minutes, as well, and then Jonny headed in the same direction as both Jordan & Jessie. Finally, came the President's niece with a smile on her face. 'Hopefully, this is a good sign,' Estella thought.

She was there when the President was talking Jonny up to Jasmine, and she fully supported the endorsement in the hopes that they would hit it off and Jessie would see. She couldn't contain the smile that graced her face. This night was looking up.

* * *

"Daddy, can I talk to you real fast?" Race heard Jessie interrupt his conversation.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked, pulling her aside and immediately noticing her distress.

"Can I have your credit card to go check into the hotel now?" she asked quickly, stealing a glance over her shoulder to see Jordan coming towards them. "Please," she begged.

"We need to talk later," he told her and she nodded. "I love you more than anything," he then whispered and she couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too," she replied, kissing him on the cheek and then hurrying towards the exit to catch a cab.

Race didn't know what was going on, but he did know that his daughter was upset and he could guess the cause, which was a guy he disliked from the moment he laid eyes on him, and a guy that was trying to head Jessie off at the door. Race didn't know what was going on, but he intended on helping his daughter with her getaway.

"Jordan…hold up," Race ordered, grabbing the young man by the arm and effectively squashing his attempt to catch up with Jessie.

"What?" Jordan asked, not even trying to hide his annoyance.

"Excuse me?" Race asked, crossing his arms and placing himself between Jordan and the exit.

"Sorry," Jordan apologized quickly. "I'm just in a hurry here."

"She wants to be left alone," Race clarified.

"Look, she's mad at me. I get that. All I want to do is apologize and nothing you can do is gonna stop me," Jordan proclaimed.

"Boy, you have no idea how lucky you are that we're not alone right now," Race told him.

"Well then let me just take my good luck and go," Jordan shot back, pushing his way past Race and continuing his chase.

Race was fuming and thanking God at the same time. At least his daughter had admitted to having no feelings for this guy. Now, he just has to hold it together until Jessie figures out what she wants, so he can throw Jordan out of all their lives…literally. He was so caught up in his annoyance and anger in that moment that he almost knocked Jonny over, who had been approaching him from behind to ask a question.

"Whoa…you alright man?" Jonny asked, putting his hands up in a faux defense posture and taking a step back.

"Yeah…no…sorry. You just startled me," Race replied. "What's up?"

"Have you seen Jess?" Jonny asked. "I need to talk to her."

"She's a popular girl tonight. Do you know what's going on?" Race questioned.

"Uh…well," Jonny hedged, but Race was having none of it.

"Out with it now," he demanded.

"I know she and Jordan were fighting about something, but I don't know what," he answered.

"And?" Race pushed, knowing that Jonny wasn't telling him everything.

"And," Jonny continued slowly. "They took it out onto the balcony…where I already was… and I may have lost my cool a little. So now she's mad at me and I just wanted to apologize," he finished.

"Why did you lose your cool?" Race asked, knowing that Jonny probably had a good reason and wanting to know what it was.

"It wasn't a big…" he started, but Race cut him off.

"Jonny, I'm not in the mood. What happened?" he asked quietly, but forcefully.

"I don't know why they're arguing," he reinforced. "All I know is that they both came out onto the balcony upset, he kinda grabbed her to try and apologize, but she was angry and told him not to touch her. Next thing I know, I see him trying to grab her again, so I put him on the ground. I mean, I know he wasn't trying to hurt her or anything, but she said that she didn't wanna be touched and that was all I heard in the moment. So when I saw him coming towards her again, I just went after him. I didn't even think about it. I can't help it. I never could," he laughed a little. "Anyways, Jess always gets so mad at me for doing it. So do you know where she is, so that I can find her, she can scream at me for a while, and then things can get back to normal?" he finished with a sigh.

"She left to go check into the hotel," Race informed him. "And that little prick was hot on her trails, so do me a favor and go watch out for her. I know she can take care of herself, but I'd feel better if you just went to check on her. She seemed pretty upset when I talked to her."

"Ok, no problem," Jonny replied distractedly, knowing that, once again, he was probably the main reason that Jessie was so upset, but he wasn't about to admit that to Race.

"Hey Cowboy," Race called after him.

"Yeah?" Jonny asked, turning around.

"Take care of my little girl," he told him.

"Always," Jonny replied, meaning it more than anything and promising himself that he'd do a better job of it from now on.

Race felt mildly better, knowing that Jonny was headed to the hotel, but he sincerely hoped that the two of them would get it together already, so he wouldn't have to kill Jordan in the process. 'Finding a place to hide the body isn't as easy as it used to be,' he thought to himself, only half kidding.

* * *

Jessie was extremely thankful to Dr. Quest for booking rooms at a hotel only a few miles from the party. She was in her room, out of her dress, and on her bed eating a ridiculously expensive cookie from the mini bar within thirty minutes. She was trying really hard the whole time not to think about Jonny, but couldn't help it. The confusing part was that her feelings would change every other minute, which was a pretty accurate description of how he made her feel in general. All jumbled up.

At first, she was hurt and angry that he was with another girl, but, then again, she was with another guy. She knew she was being a hypocrite, but the mental picture that she had of the two of them on the balcony made her stomach feel like it was on fire. She's so mad at him, and she's so mad at herself, and she's so frustrated with Jordan. She wants to be left alone, but she also wants Jonny to come through that door and hold her all night. His arms always make her feel better.

At that thought, she heard a knock to her door, and a huge sigh escaped her lips. Then she heard the door open, and Jordan came into her view before she could even make it off the bed.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? How did you get a key to my room?" she demanded.

"I'm resourceful, sweetie. You should know that by now," he told her. "I always get what I want, and tonight I wanted to apologize to you. I knew you wouldn't let me in, so I figured out another way to get in," he smiled, flashing a keycard to her room. "I love you, and I wasn't gonna let you fall asleep tonight until I could tell you that face to face. No matter what I had to do," he finished, looking all proud of himself.

"Am I supposed to be impressed or something?" she asked. "Wow, you paid off a dumbass bellboy to get a key to my room. You're amazing. How could I ever be angry with a catch like you? Take me now, baby," she replied sarcastically.

"You're unbelievable," he said in disbelief, and then took a deep breath before starting back at her with anger. "Don't worry. I didn't really think you'd go so far as to let your own boyfriend touch you. Every time I do, you freeze up like a fucking five year old anyway. Seriously… is there something wrong with you?" he asked vindictively. "Because I think I've been pretty patient, but no man will put up with this shit forever, ya know. Not even your precious Jonny," he whispered fiercely. "Hell, I'm starting to see why he's never asked you out. He's smarter than I gave him credit for. I guess living with you gave him the inside track. He could tell that you were destined to become a goddamned Ice Queen…,"

"Do you have a fucking death wish?" Jonny suddenly boomed from the doorway of her room, walking in slowly and slamming the door behind him. On the cab ride over, he had promised himself that he'd try his best to keep things from getting physical again, but he doesn't think that's gonna happen after hearing the way Jordan was speaking to her. He had held back for a second waiting for Jessie to go off on him, but she was taking too long.

"This is between myself and Jess," Jordan yelled. "Will you just let us handle our business?" he asked in an annoyed tone. "Jesus Christ, you're there every time I fucking turn around. Why don't you get your own life?"

"Get out," Jonny told him, ignoring his comments and realizing the moment he laid eyes on Jessie that it was gonna be a lot harder than he originally anticipated not to throw Jordan off the balcony. She was just staring into space with a blank expression on her face, and when she made eye contact with him, he saw something that he couldn't place. He couldn't imagine that the conversation between herself and Jordan had gotten much worse than what he had just witnessed, but he didn't know that for sure and didn't care to find out. He just wanted to make her feel better.

"Get out," he said again, placing himself between Jordan and Jessie. "Don't make me throw you out," Jonny warned, when Jordan made no move to leave.

"Jessie," Jordan called. "Listen, I'm…"

"DO NOT make me say it a third time, you dumb fuck," Jonny interrupted slowly.

"Don't make me hurt you," Jordan laughed. "Look, I've been very patient with you, but that's only because you're Jessie's friend. Actually, you're her sad little friend. You know, that clueless one that just doesn't know when to step the fuck back and realize that she's grown up and found a real relationship. You're pathetic," he finished.

"Was that my cue to go running from the room crying?" Jonny asked with a laugh that indicated way more confidence than he felt, crossing his arms and not moving an inch.

"Get out," Jessie suddenly piped into the conversation, and Jonny held his breath. He was 99 sure that she was talking to Jordan, but there was always a chance he was wrong.

"You heard her," Jordan started, coming towards Jonny.

"Jordan," she yelled, stopping him in his tracks. "Get the fuck out," she told him.

Jonny just smiled smugly, and then followed Jordan to the door, making sure to take the keycard from his hand and lock the door behind him. Then he leaned against the door and took a few breaths, trying to figure out the best way to approach Jessie. She was clearly very upset, but he's not sure that she wants to be comforted. Either way, he can't leave her without trying. So with one final deep breath, he made his way back to her.

Meanwhile, Jessie had made her way out onto the balcony. She was in shock. Not only over everything that Jordan had said, but also the fact that Jonny had heard it. She didn't want him thinking of her like that. She's not a cold little Catholic girl. She just doesn't wanna be touched by someone that she doesn't love. She hates everything about the situation that she's put herself in and she hates the way it's making her act. She just wants to be alone right now, but she doesn't even have enough time to process that thought before she hears the balcony door open.

She immediately tenses at the sound and has to stifle back the sob that wants to come out of her mouth, but she can't stop the tears that begin to silently pour down her face.

"Ace," she heard him call out softly, and it was her undoing. She couldn't hold it back anymore. She couldn't hold on to that lump that's been in her throat ever since she left home and left him behind. All she waned to do was hold on to the person she loves more than anyone, so it doesn't help that she can't even seem to figure out how to talk to him anymore.

"Jessie," she heard him whisper, as he caught her halfway to the ground.

"No," she told him, pushing herself up and away from him. She refused to let him see her cry again. "Leave," she told him, as she walked back into her hotel room and wiped any traces of weakness from her face. "Leave," she said again before he could get a word in edgewise.

"Jessie. I'm sorry," he told her quickly.

"Jonny," she sighed in exasperation. "The only reason I didn't kick you out two minutes ago was because I didn't wanna give Jordan the satisfaction, not because I wanted you to stay. Get out" she finished vindictively.

"No," he replied softly.

"What?" she asked, thrown off by his refusal.

"You heard me," he told her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine. I'll leave," she said stubbornly, making her way towards the door

"Then I'll follow you," he called after her. "And I think you know that I'll be a lot harder to shake than your boyfriend."

"I just want to be alone," she almost begged, extremely tired and frustrated at this point. "Please leave."

"I'll leave when you tell me what I want to know," he stood his ground.

"And just what do you wanna know?" she asked angrily.

"For starters, does your other half always talk to you like that?" he inquired with a hard voice.

"Jonny," she started.

"Yes or no," he ordered.

"Don't yell at me," she screamed.

"Stop avoiding the question," he countered.

"The things he said about me," she tried to explain, and her voice caught in her throat. "They're not true. I just…"

"I don't believe a word of what he said," he told her quickly, seeing that she was embarrassed. "I just want to know why the strongest…most amazing… woman… that I've ever known," he said haltingly. "… would let someone speak to her that way, huh?" he challenged. "Why?"

"I don't owe you an explanation," she answered.

"You owe yourself one," he told her, and she knew he was right, but didn't wanna deal with this right now. She wanted him to go.

"Why don't you go back to the party," she told him. "Your girlfriend's tongue probably misses you," she spat, feeling sick at the mental image of the two of them that just popped back into her head.

"Yeah…don't go there Jess," he warned.

"Don't tell me what to do," she told him. "How am I supposed to feel? One second you're kissing me. The next you're pushed into a corner with some slut," she hollered.

"Oh yeah. Well, one second you're begging me to come to this party because you don't wanna be alone with Jordan, and the next you're ignoring me all fucking night, while never leaving his side," he shot back. "I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole," he added sarcastically. "I should have just sat in the corner alone all night, while you had fun."

"I wouldn't call this evening fun," she told him.

"That's an understatement," he added.

"It's complicated," she whispered, getting the conversation back on track.

"Do you love him?" he asked less fearfully than he would have two days ago, but fearful still.

"No," she shook her head.

"Then I don't understand," he said with frustration. "You don't love him. You don't even seem to like him that much. He treats you," he stopped and took a deep breath. "Well, let's just say that I believe my personal restraint should be rewarded considering the way I've seen him treat you," he breathed. "What's going on?" he asked again. "This is not you."

"I can't tell you," was all she could get out, not knowing how to respond to his question. Only knowing that there was no way she could tell him anything real without telling him everything real. He knows her way too well. If she opened up, the flood gates would be demolished. He'd keep pushing until she told him everything that she wasn't ready to tell him yet.

"That's real fucking mature," he yelled angrily, thinking that she was holding back out of revenge. "How many times do I have to tell you that I can't tell you what's going on with me right now, huh? It's nothing personal, Jess. I want to tell you. Telling you would make my life ten times easier, but I can't. Not right now. I will when it's the right time. You have to trust that I'm not trying to hurt you on purpose."

"I'm not trying to hurt you either," she breathed, interrupting his tirade. "I just don't wanna talk about it right now, ok?" she asked. "And I'm not sure that I can talk to _you_ about it all," she told him honestly. "And this has nothing to do with getting back at you," she added quickly. "It's me. It's my issue, and I'm not ready to talk about it. I swear that I'm not trying to hurt you," she faltered, allowing one tear to fall.

"Are you alright?" he asked, suddenly worried.

She just shook her head 'no,' while trying to regain her composure. The irony of the moment was not lost on her for a second, and she even let out a tiny laugh in disbelief.

"Déjà vu?" she asked.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"If it makes you feel any better. I'm not gonna ask what's bothering you anymore. I understand now," she breathed.

"It doesn't," he told her.

"Punched in the gut doesn't quite cover it, huh?" she asked.

"Not even close," he breathed, understanding how she must have felt earlier. "I hate this so much," he whispered, closing is eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. About two seconds later, he felt her palms against his chest and then her lips covering his.

He responded immediately, placing a hand behind her neck and switching their positions to press her against the wall. He knew this made no sense, and that it was only creating more questions that they probably wouldn't be able to answer without hurting each other again, but he couldn't stop. Despite everything, this felt so right and so calming. He wanted to hold onto her, and onto everything she made him feel.

"Mmm," she breathed into his mouth, and it killed him. He wanted her so badly that he could barely think straight, especially when he felt her pull his dress shirt from his pants.

"Jessie," he breathed incoherently, and kissed her again, running his hands under her shirt and up her bare back.

"Jonny," she whispered, arching into him and claiming his lips like she owned them. Without even thinking about it, she then found herself unbuttoning his shirt and running her hands all over his stomach and chest once it was undone.

Jonny was cherishing ever touch of her hand, but feeling like he needed to regain some control before his body took over. So he then placed his hands on her hips and kissed her forehead, then her nose, and then her cheek, which made him stop and pull back. Her cheek was damp. She was crying again.

"Jessie?" he questioned, but she just shook her lowered head and gripped his open shirt in her hands. "I'm sorry," she breathed, looking up into his eyes and bringing her hands to his face. "This hurts too much. I can't," she told him, and then walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

For the second time that night, Jessie found herself upset and on her bathroom floor. He has literally drove her crazy. 'What am I doing?' she thought to herself.

_Just talk to him_, her inner voice urged her. _You don't have to be afraid. He'll understand. He always understands, and you need to find out how he feels, so you can move the hell on if he doesn't love you too._

'It's not that easy,' she argued with herself, realizing that she needed to talk this out with a rational human being since she was finding herself incapable of being rational. So without thinking, she walked back into the room and picked up her cell phone, calling the only person she could. She was a little disappointed that Jonny was already gone, but didn't dwell on it for too long.

"Hey Hadj," she said into the phone when he picked up on the other end. "Did you ever make it to the party? I didn't see you," she asked.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked, knowing that her pleasantries were forced.

"I need to talk to you about something really extremely important. Do you think that you could come to the hotel when you get a chance?" she asked.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes," he promised.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too and I'll see you soon," he said before hanging up the phone.

Almost twenty minutes to the exact second later, Jessie heard a knock on the door. Hadji was noting if not dependable to a fault.

"Hey," she greeted him with a big smile, throwing her arms around him. "I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too," he responded, letting her go and coming into her room.

"What's going on?" he asked

"Sorry to drag you away from the party," she apologized nervously.

"I'd much rather be hanging out with you," he smiled.

"Thanks," she told him, ringing her hands together. "But I'm still sorry that I'm just coming to you with a problem the first time we've gotten to hang out in months," she sighed.

"Jessie," he interrupted.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Stop stalling," he smiled. "We are friends…best friends…and I will always be here for you no matter what, but I can also see right through you too. I know you wanted to talk about it a few minutes ago. Have you talked yourself out of it since?" he asked, knowing her all too well.

"Yes…no," she stumbled. "It's just not something that's easy to talk about. I've been holding it in for years, and I'm not quite sure how to let the secret out since keeping it has become such a huge part of who I am," she admitted, taking a seat on her bed.

"You can tell me anything," he tried to tell her.

"I know," she smiled. "I really need someone to listen that's impartial, but that person doesn't really exist, so I was hoping to talk to you about it, but I don't know where to start."

"Just tell me," he told her. "What's the bottom line?" he asked. "The rest will come pouring out after that."

"Ok," she breathed. "I need to tell someone something, but I'm not sure how to do it, or if I even should. I just want your opinion because it means the world to me," she finished, looking him straight in the eye and then sighing.

"Jessie," he smiled encouragingly.

"I'm in love with Jonny," she blurted out, and immediately looked away from him. She could feel her face burning, both from her embarrassment and from Hadji's unrelenting stare.

When she looked back at him, he had a somewhat knowing smile on his face, which made her deflate a little.

"What?" she asked.

"Well," he laughed a little. "This is not a huge shock. I mean…I would have been shocked if this didn't happen," he told her.

"What?" she asked again, still a little numb.

"Jessie, you and Jonny are just…meant to be. It's as simple as that," he said plainly. "You're perfect for each other."

"Yeah, everyone says that," she began to rationalize. "But…"

"But…," he interrupted. "None of them know the two of you like I do."

"I know that, but…um," she fidgeted for a second and then blew up. "Look at me Hadji. He's turned me into a bumbling fucking idiot. This is not me and this scares the shit out of me," she finished.

"You're not an idiot," he said calmly. "You're just in love. I know that you've felt this way for a while, and I think everything that your feeling has become deeper and more real with every year that passes and the more time you spend with him, which must be really scary."

"I thought it would go away at first," she breathed. "I mean, he's my best friend and it's Jonny. He's so overprotective, and annoying, and infuriating, and… wonderful. He's…I can't even explain it. He just makes me feel everything and it's driving me nuts all of a sudden. I don't understand. I used to be able to handle this quite well," she finished.

"I don't think he's driving you nuts. I think you're driving yourself nuts," he interjected.

"Thanks Hadj," she told him dryly.

"No, seriously. Just listen to me for a minute," he requested and she nodded. "I think the reason that you're more emotional about this now then ever before is because you're beginning to realize, even if it's only on a subconscious level, that you have to tell him. When we were younger and even just last year… he was yours. You were the only girl in his life whether he wanted it that way or not. You didn't have to fight for his attention or his affections. He gave them willingly, and you accepted without ever having to risk your heart. Now that you're not together all the time though, things have changed. He's going out with other girls, you're going out with other guys, and you're both living very separate lives. You're afraid because you're feelings for him didn't go away when you left, like you thought they might. They only got stronger because you realized, once he wasn't there in the day to day, exactly how much he brings to your life. That is scary," he agreed. "Realizing that you depend on another person so much, and that they are such an indispensable part of who you are and what makes you happy. But it's not a weakness Jessie. It's a blessing. Do you know how rare it is to find that type of connection with a person? Do you know how sad it would be if the two of you threw it away?" he tried to make her see. "You're not nuts to be so emotional about it because you _do_ have to tell him. He needs to know. He deserves to know," he finished.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" she asked. "I'll ruin everything."

"No you won't," he assured her. "The bond that the two of you have transcends such triviality. It may be weird at first, but things would get back to normal sooner than you think. I'd bet my life one it, but I won't have to because there's not a single cell in my body that doesn't believe he's in love with you too."

"Did he say something to you?" she asked, knowing that would make things so much easier.

"No," Hadji smiled. "But I had a running bet with myself to see which of you I'd be having this conversation with first, and I just lost."

"Why do you think that?" she asked, wanting to hear a concrete reason for his belief.

"I've never seen two people more devoted to each other in my entire life," he told her soberly. "If he doesn't love you, you are not gonna have to worry about screwing up the friendship…but if he doesn't love you Jessie," he shook his head. "Then I don't know what love is," he whispered.

"Hadji," she breathed feeling more confident about the whole situation then she ever has. "Thank you," she told him, running up to give him a hug. "Thanks for talking some sense into me."

"Anytime," he grinned, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Now will you go talk to him please."

"Now?" she asked, suddenly nervous all over again.

"Jessie," he almost scolded.

"You don't understand. This is such a huge part of my life. I'm scared," she confided.

"You're also brave," he told her. "It's a risk you need to take. Now go," he said, pushing her to the door.

"Ok...ok. I'll do it. Thanks again," she told him.

"Not a problem. Just be honest with him," he offered.

"I will," she smiled, and then made her way down to the lobby to figure out what room Jonny was in.

"Excuse me," she asked the desk clerk a few minutes later.

"How can I help you miss?" he replied courteously.

"I'm looking for a friend's room. Jonny Quest," she told him.

"I'm sorry. It's actually hotel policy not to give out room numbers, but I can connect you to his room if you'd like?" he asked.

"Perfect," she said anxiously. She wanted to talk to him before she lost her nerve.

"Just give me one second to look up the number," he told her, making his way over to the computer. "Ok, you said Quest correct?"

"Yes," Jessie confirmed.

"Alright, it looks like that reservation was cancelled," he informed her.

"What? When?" she asked.

"About a half hour ago," he told her. "Hold on. My shift just started. Mark," he called into the back, and then another clerk came to the front. "Do you remember a Mr. Quest canceling his reservation a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah," Mark told them. "He did it in person, and left a note."

"Can I see it," Jessie asked in an annoyed tone.

"I'm sorry. He actually said to give it to his father," Mark apologized.

"I'm his sister," she lied. "And he's not supposed to be doing this, so please give me the note and I will call my father," she ordered and the clerk handed it over. She was almost nervous to read it:

_Hey Pop,_

_Sorry about ditching the party so early. I never should've come. I wasn't really in the mood for this tonight. I'm actually gonna skip out on the sleeping over tonight. There was a ten o'clock flight back home that I was able to book. I used the American Express, but promise to pay you back soon. Sorry. _

_Love,_

_Jonny_

Jessie just sighed after reading the letter for a second time. He was gone. He was right there, being so sweet and kissing her, but she pushed him away. She made him feel bad and pushed him away.

"Damn it," she whispered to herself.


	20. Start Planning

_A/N: Hey everyone. It's been a while. Well, my busy season at work is still in full swing, but I felt the need to indulge myself and write a chapter. I also hope to get the next one out sooner than my average, as it's one of my favorites that I have planned. I was reading storytellergirls' "The Adventure" (which I'm sure you have all already read, but I highly recommend if you haven't checked it out yet), and one of her plot points reminded me of something I plan to do, so it was a good kick in the butt. I hope you are all still reading this. Let me know what you think!_

Jonny doesn't think that he fully breathed again, or had a rationale thought, until he was strapped into a plane seat and on his way home. The moment that Jessie walked away from him was the moment that his mind and body went on autopilot. He knew if he allowed himself to feel everything their conversation made him want to feel that he'd become unfocused.

As much as he loves her, and as much as he wants to work things out, he can't afford to become any more sidetracked. He can't even afford to be around her anymore. Everytime they're together, an emotional explosion occurs and he becomes distracted. Jessie owns his heart, but his mother is depending on him now, and he can't turn his back on her. He won't, and he won't put Jessie in danger by telling her, no matter how much it costs him.

'What if she's not alive and you still lose Jess,' he thought for the thousandth time.

'I never had Jess,' he thought back. "And my mother is alive," he whispered to himself for the first time, feeling his heart speed up a mile a minute at hearing those words out loud.

'OK,' he thought. 'Dwelling on that subject is not a good idea either.' At that thought, he buzzed the flight attendant in the hopes of finding a way to occupy his mind. If he couldn't, then he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to Jade. He promised that he wouldn't do anything rash, but he's also quickly losing patience. He's a man of action and always has been. Most of the time that's the only way he knows how to escape the damage that his mind is capable of inflicting if he sits still for too long.

"Sir, how can I help you?" a beautiful flight attendant interrupted his thoughts. She was staring down at him with a big smile.

"I need a distraction," he told her.

"A distraction from what?" she asked, which surprised him a little because he had just expected her to ask what type of distraction he'd like. Music, pillow, ect…

"From life," he told her honestly.

"So, are you currently running away from something or running towards something?" she continued, taking a seat across the aisle from him.

"Both to tell you the truth," he started. "My life's a little crazy, but I always find a way to take things to the next level," he chuckled morosely.

"Well, I'm a good listener if you need to talk," she told him, brushing his shoulder lightly.

"I'll be fine," he told her, becoming uncomfortable with her forwardness. "Besides, I wouldn't wanna monopolize your time. I'm sure the other passengers wouldn't appreciate it," he finished.

"Ok," she said, standing back up. "But I'm just a buzz away if you want me Mr. Quest."

It took him a second to process what she had said, but not long to realize the reason. 'Mr. Quest,' he thought. 'That sounds weird.'

What he really wanted to do was talk with Jade. He knew, however, that it was still too early for that. He'd call when he landed, and hopefully catch up with her before she got to Grobin's house. Now all he had to do was figure out how to occupy his mind for the next two hours.

With that, he buzzed the flight attendant again.

"I'm glad you came to your senses," she smiled confidently.

She _was_ beautiful, but he couldn't do it. "Uh…," he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you have a crossword book or anything?" he asked, avoiding eye contact.

"Sure," she said in an annoyed tone, pulling a book from the back of another seat and dropping it into his lap unceremoniously.

"Thanks," he told her.

"Yep," she called over her should as she walked away.

"Jesus," he breathed, opening up the book.

* * *

Two very long hours later, an exhausted young man hailed a cab from just outside the airport. The lack of sleep and compounding stress of the last few days were catching up with him hard. He knows that he needs a good nights sleep, but he can't justify taking a break or indulging himself in any way while his mother is still being held captive.

He feels guilty now for even considering going to D.C. tonight instead of staking out with Jade, and he doesn't feel guilty just because things turned out so badly. He put Jessie before his mother, plain and simple. He can't let that happen again, no matter how natural that impulse may come or how tempting it may be. The only problem is that he feels all over the place right now and, even though she's a major contributor to his current state of mind, Jessie's still the only person he wants to talk to. Just being with her would put his mind at ease a little.

'Well, if she didn't talk anyway,' he suddenly thought and then laughed to himself, knowing that would never happen.

Once the cab driver had them on their way for a while, Jonny turned on his cell to call Jade and had no less than three voice mails waiting for him. He chose to ignore them for the moment, however, to keep a clear mind while making this call.

"Hey," she answered in an exasperated tone. "I don't have anything to report. I haven't even gotten out there yet. Are you…"

"Good," he interrupted. "I'm back in Rockport. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Jonny, just let me handle this on my own tonight. I lose valuable time if I have to wait for you, and you're the one who wants this taken care of as quickly as possible. We can't afford to waste time," she reasoned.

"I don't want you to wait for me," he started. "I'll meet you out there. I remember how to get there. I just wanted to warn you that I'm on my way."

"And what if Grobin has his men farther out on the perimeter tonight, huh?" she asked.

"When are you gonna stop treating me like a child?" he asked angrily. "For the thousandth time, I can take care of myself. I'll be there as soon as I can," he finished, hanging up the phone before she could respond.

He feels bad making things harder on Jade and taking his frustrations out on her, considering that she's going out of her way to help him, but he needs to be involved in every aspect of this. It can't go wrong a second time, and he won't screw up. He knows that he has a reputation for impulsive behavior, but he always comes through when it counts, and the root of his impulsive behavior usually stems from the fear that Jessie is in trouble. As long as he knows she's safe, he shouldn't have any problem keeping a clear head.

'And I will keep her safe,' he thought with a sudden wave of protectiveness and a little anger towards his father. 'I'll never let anything happen to her. I'd die first.'

He's never blamed his father once for the loss of his mother, but it's hard not to be a little angry. He can't help but think that, if positions were reversed, he would know. He would know Jessie was still alive. He'd feel it. He doesn't let those thoughts consume him for long, however, because he knows they're unfair. No one in the world can question his father's love for his mother. Him least of all. He just wants to bring his parents back to each other, and he doesn't want history to repeat.

"Take a left here," he directed the cabbie, as he bit the bullet and began to check his messages.

The first voice mail was from Jessie. He almost deleted it without even listening, but couldn't bring himself to do it.

"_Hey, Jonny listen. I'm sorry for the way that I acted tonight. I was…I don't even know. Just please call me when you get this. And…ok…I know I promised that I wasn't gonna bother you about this anymore, but please…please…call me if you are in trouble, or call my Dad. Just don't get yourself hurt. I need you to be ok, alright? Bye"_

_Next message sent 10:57 P.M._

"_Jonny, it's Hadji. Just wanted to make sure everything was ok. I didn't get a chance to catch up with you tonight. I'll be up late if you wanna talk. Otherwise, I'll look forward to catching up tomorrow."_

_Next message sent 11:24 P.M_

"_Jonny, it's you father. Call me when you land."_

_End of messages._

'Shit, my dad sounded pissed,' he thought, as he dialed his father's number.

"Where are you?" his father answered in an angry voice.

"I'm on my way home. I'll be there in a few minutes. What's the big deal?" he asked.

"You should have asked me before leaving," he yelled.

"Would you have said yes?" Jonny asked.

"Absolutely not," his father answered.

"I know," Jonny told him. "That's why I didn't ask."

"Jonathan, what has gotten into you lately? I want an answer now," he demanded.

"Pop," he started.

"NOW," he ordered.

"I didn't want to go in the first place," he yelled back. "I don't like those things. I hate how people suck up to you, and I hate being paraded around like an idiot. I'm sorry."

"Well, that explains why you left the party," his father said. "Now do you wanna tell me what possessed you to leave the state? Without letting any of us know? Race is around for a REASON Jonny. How could you be so careless?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized half-heartedly

"Sorry isn't good enough this time. BE at home tomorrow when we get there. You and I will be having a long talk," his father finished.

"I'll be there," Jonny told him and then heard the phone click.

"Fuck," he whispered, leaning his head against the cool windowto rest his eyes for a moment when he felt the car come to a stop.

"Fifty dollars," he then heard from the cabbie, who got out of the car to retrieve his bag.

"Thanks. Keep the change," Jonny told him, and then approached the main gate to obtain access to the Compound.

"Please present code," IRIS asked once he was within five feet of the gate.

"Jonny. Alpha. 27. 54. Jagger," he spoke into the system.

"Correct," IRIS responded. "Present eye for retina identification."

Jonny did so quickly and was heading up the long road to the Compound moments later. While walking, he passed the tree that he and Jessie used to play under for hours when they were little and he couldn't help but smile. It's been quite a while since he's had to walk up this road. Stopping by the tree, he pulled out his phone and typed in a quick message:

_I'm fine, and I'm sorry too. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Ace_

He didn't think it was a good idea to talk to her right now, but he didn't want her going to bed thinking he was angry either. With that, he started at a sprint toward the house. He wanted to get to Jade as quickly as possible.

* * *

_I'm fine, and I'm sorry too. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Ace_

Jessie felt a lot better after reading his message. She's still mad at herself for not telling him how she feels, but is at least happy that Hadji talked some sense into her. He was right.

'Jonny deserves to know,' she thought. 'And I need to know how he feels either way.'

Deep in her heart she finds it hard to believe that he would kiss her like he has for the last few days and give her his mother's locket, if he didn't care for her too, but there's always that little doubt in that back of her mind that screams:

'He's a teenaged boy. He'll make out with almost anything' or 'Maybe the locket really was just a meaningful gift between great friends.'

Even if her insecurities prove to be true, however,she needs to take the chance. She's tried to forget this man, but has failed miserably. It's the only thing she's ever failed at.

'Hopefully, that's a good thing,' she smiled to herself, feeling a little giddy with the knowledge that she was gonna tell him. She doesn't even care about Jordan or her mom anymore. She's made her feelings to them clear, so she's not gonna feel bad or walk on egg shells anymore.

She was thinking abouthow she was gonna tellhim when she heard a knock on the door. She was very tempted to just ignore the sound, afraid that it was Jordan or her mom, but got up anyway.

Relief filled her, at least slightly, when she looked through the peep hole and saw her father.

"Hey Daddy," she greeted, as he walked into her room.

"What's going on, sweetie?" he asked without hesitation.

She took a deep breath before answering and they both took a seat on her bed.

"I screwed up tonight, but I'm gonna make it right tomorrow," she told him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I just…I haven't been myself lately," she admitted. "I've been allowing my emotions to control my actions, but I'm done now, so you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Do you wanna elaborate?" he asked.

"Not really," she confided. "Look, I'm ok now. I'm done with this Jordan charade, no matter what mom does, and…and I'm gonna tell Jonny how I feel," she finished and then looked away. "I really need to," she added, looking back.

"Wow," her father responded. "That's a big step. Are you sure that's…"

"Daddy," she interrupted.

"No, right…right. I get it. This is good," he sighed. "It's good."

"Are you being supportive or just trying to convince yourself," she smiled. It was weird to watch the most cool and collected man in the world get all nervous and tongue tied.

"You're my baby," he said matter-of-factly. "You're still my little girl. I know I'm lucky that you've chosen a good guy and I know I've been preparing myself for this, but it's still hard. I like being the most important guy in your life, and it's much easier to pretend that I still am when you and Jonny are still just best friends," he smiled a little sadly.

"Dad," she started, but he put a hand up to stop her and patted his cheek with his finger.

"Just give me a kiss Ponchita," he said.

"I love you," she told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and a big hug.

"I love you too," he responded, holding on a little longer than normal.

"So, how much do you love me?" she suddenly asked.

"Huh?" he responded in confusion.

"I'm gonna need you're help so I can do this right. Will you help me?" she asked nervously.

* * *

Jonny was changed and halfway out the door when Jade called him.

"I'm on my…," he started, but couldn't get out a full sentence.

"Something is wrong," she interrupted in a loud whisper.

He stopped frozen at those words and felt his heart drop to the ground.

"What's going on?" he asked anxiously.

"Can you get access to the satellite picture of Grobin's house again?" she asked.

"Yes. Tell me why," he demanded.

"The amount of men patrolling the grounds has increased considerably since last night. I want to know if he's brought in more men, or if he's just shifting the resources that he already has," she told him.

"I'm on it," he responded, running toward the lighthouse. "What do you think is going on?" he asked.

"It could be a number of things. I don't wanna jump to conclusions" she sighed, not wanting to voice all of her thoughts for fear that he'd overreact.

"I know you have at least some ideas," he told her a little out of breath. "So give."

"It could be as simple as he's just being careful and changing up his patterns for security reasons," she breathed.

"Or it could be as complicated as…," he pushed, needing to know what she was thinking.

"As he's planning to make a move, or to move her, or maybe he suspects that he's being watched. Maybe we're both gonna regret not involving Race. No wait, I mean you'll regret it because I already do," she ranted, and then took a deep breath. "Jonny," she started again slowly. "Do you trust my instincts?"

"Totally," he admitted begrudgingly, making his way up the lighthouse stairs.

"Something's not right," she told him quietly.

"Maybe you should get outta there then," he suggested, starting to get worried about her. He didn't want her getting hurt trying to help him.

"I'm probably just being paranoid," she backtracked. "But I would feel better if you just continued to monitor the situation from where you are, AND BEFORE YOU START YELLING," she said louder than she should have in order to cut off his protests. "I'm suggesting this as much for strategy and for my safety as for yours. Not only will you be safer there, but you'll be able to watch my back and have a bird's eye view of everything going on. You should be able to get a better idea than me of their patrolling patterns, overall. I've only been observing the east entrance, which we will be using to get in, but it'll be very helpful to know where all those men are when they're not guarding our entrance and exit point," she finished.

"Ok," he conceded.

"That was too easy. What's the catch?" she asked, caught off guard by his answer.

"You're right," he sighed. "Look, I may be emotional about all of this, but that doesn't mean I'm not rationale and realistic too. The stake-out is important, but it doesn't really require two people. Besides, this is important too. I only have an issue with doing nothing. I can't do nothing when my mother's life is at stake. I'll stay here and give you a call if anyone gets within two hundred feet," he agreed.

"Sounds like a good plan," she said with relief.

"You'll drop by once you're done to go over everything?" he confirmed.

"Absolutely. We'll regroup in a couple of hours," she promised.

"Ok, everyone is still in D.C., so feel free to come up to the house. Take care of yourself," he told her.

"Will do," she promised again.

"Bye," he whispered, hanging up and sitting in front of his father's computer to get comfortable. This was gonna be a long night.

* * *

'No,' she screamed in her mind when she heard the door open. That was her least favorite sound in the world behind the sound of the door locking.

"Sweetheart, are you still awake?" he asked. Just like every other night.

Then she felt the bed shift under his weight as he crawled in without showering or changing his clothes to cuddle up behind her. Just like every other night.

He smelled like expensive cologne and Cuban cigars. And he was breathing heavy into her ear from just having climbed all those stairs. Just like every other night.

So she just closed her eyes a little tighter and refused to make a sound, thinking, 'I just have to get through one more day. Give me the strength for another day, Lord.'

Then a tear rolled down her face. Just like every other night.


	21. Revealed

_A/N: Sorry for the mis-post if anyone caught it. All the words were smushed together, and then there was a glitch when I tried to repost. Let me know what you think. This is an important chapter. Thanks_

It was 3:05 in the morning when Jonny noticed the figure in Jade's position move. With the way she drives, he anticipates seeing her within the hour to discuss a game plan. He's pretty excited too because the last two hours have proven to be very productive. Not only did he determine that Grobin has shifted his men as opposed to adding more, but he also figured out a way to download the live satellite feed he's been watching to his PDA without experiencing interruption, which will increase their chances of success exponentially.

He was configuring his PDA about a half an hour later when he felt his phone vibrating against his hip.

"So I see you gave IRIS that facelift I suggested," she greeted. "I'm impressed."

"You couldn't find a way in?" he joked. "Damn, I'm good."

"Hey, give me a good night's sleep and one hour. I'll knock that smile right off your face," she countered. "Oh and hey, let me in will ya," she ordered. "I'm at the front gate."

"I know, and you got ten seconds," he informed her. "I'll meet you halfway."

Jonny then quickly made his way down the stairs and secured the lighthouse. He found her sitting under _their_ tree, and felt like she was violating something sacred for a moment, but forgot that thought quickly when she began to talk.

"Any luck?" she asked.

"A lot actually," he informed her, leaning against the tree next to her.

"Any conclusions?" he threw back.

"You first," she told him.

"Ok," he started. "It's still only forty-eight bodies. He hasn't added any men, so, if he keeps the new pattern of having the majority of his men outside, then we'll be in luck. That'll make it a lot easier for us to maneuver once inside. Plus, I've figured out how to download the satellite feed to my PDA without interruption. We should know where everyone is at all times," he finished.

"No interruptions?" she questioned.

"Well, I'll test it out tomorrow, but I'm ninety-nine percent sure," he confirmed.

"Really?" she smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Impressive."

"Thanks, and you're not getting your hands on it no matter how much you help me," he smiled back.

"Jonny," she pouted.

"No," he enforced. "No way, this is my father's technology. Besides, I thought I didn't owe you one," he reminded her of their earlier conversation.

"Can't blame me for trying," she grinned.

"So…conclusions?" he prompted, trying to get her back on track. "You promised to think about it."

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" she asked.

"Are you serious?" he breathed in disbelief, feeling his heat speed up at her suggestion.

"If your PDA test works out tomorrow, then I say no time like the present," she told him. "That'll give us a major advantage, and I don't wanna lose the element of surprise either. The longer we wait, the greater the chance Grobin will realize that he's being watched, and I'm starting to get itchy. The last thing we need is for him to be on the defensive," she sighed.

"Why are you itchy?" he asked, sinking to the ground with her following. He had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Just a feeling," she responded vaguely.

Jonny didn't ask any more questions, knowing it was pointless, but trusting that her instincts were well formed.

"We're gonna get her back," Jade whispered, rubbing the back of his head lightly.

"I know," he replied softly, and without much confidence. "You really believe it's her, right?" He needed to hear her say it again.

"I do," she confirmed with such confidence that it made him feel a little better. "Call me tomorrow, ok?" she asked, getting to her feet.

"I will," he promised, watching her walk away.

Then he leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes to catch his breath. He suddenly felt more afraid then ever before, and was finding it difficult to move. He's so scared that he's gonna screw up somehow, and let everyone down.

'Shit,' he thought, putting his head down and breathing heavily. 'I can't do this again.'

She wanted to scream, and she wanted to rip that bitch's hair out. The only problem was that she had no air in her lungs, and she was currently frozen in her tracks for the second time in one night.

'What the fuck?' she thought. 'Why is Jade here so late when Jonny is the only one home?'

She felt a lump forming in her throat at that thought, but forced it down. She'd spent an hour trying to convince her father to let her fly home early. She knew that it'd suck for him to have to deal with her mother and Jordan the next day, but she really needed to talk to Jonny before she lost her nerve, and she needed to do it without the possibility of being interrupted.

Now she's standing behind the bushes about twenty feet from the front gate of the Compound, which was her natural reaction upon seeing the gate open at almost four in the morning, and she's watching Jade get into her black SUV.

Numb, but able to move a few minutes later, she then made her way through the front gate and up the path to the Compound. She didn't know what she was gonna do now when she saw Jonny. Part of her wanted to go find him and shake all the answers she wanted right out of him, but the other part wanted to avoid him completely.

Unfortunately, her decision was made for her when she came upon him under their tree a moment later. Within two seconds of laying eyes on him, however, anger gave way to worry. He had his head between his knees like he was hyperventilating, and he was running his hands through his hair like he did when he was nervous.

She was walking towards him before she even realized that she was moving and, as soon as she was close enough, she sank to her knees in front of him and stilled both of his fidgeting hands with her own..

"What…hey…what are you doing here?" he asked in shock.

'Shit. How long has she been here?" he thought simultaneously.

The guilty look that crossed his face didn't escape her for a second, but she just continued to hold his hands and stare at him. She was willing him to talk.

"What are you doing here?" he asked again. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," she responded, dropping his hands and wrapping her arms around her body to combat the minor chill she was feeling. "Everything is fine. I just…why was Jade here?" she suddenly asked, removing any pretense.

"Jess," he said softly.

"Are you two…what were you doing?" she asked, making every effort to keep the waver out of her voice. She didn't care if it wasn't _technically_ any of her business because they both knew it was.

At her question, he realized a new window had opened that he never would've considered before.

'Does Jess think I could have something going on with Jade?' he thought.

It was beyond tempting to go along with the idea. She'd get so mad that she wouldn't even consider speaking to him again until well after everything was cleared up. It'd guarantee her safety, but he still couldn't do it, and mostly for selfish reasons. He knows how bad such a lie would hurt her. He doesn't wanna do that to her, and he doesn't wanna take the chance that she won't forgive him for it. He also doesn't wanna increase the risk of Race figuring everything out, which will triple when Jessie decides that she can't trust Jade and goes to her father.

"Jonny, whatever's going on," she started, but then her breath hitched. "You can't trust her. I don't care what…you can't…"

"Yes I can," he interrupted.

"No, you don't understand," she started again.

"Yes…I…do," he said with finality, making sure he had her eyes.

"Oh, my God," she breathed. "What is it about her? She has you too…"

"No, she doesn't," he exclaimed. "She couldn't," he promised, gently grabbing her chin and making sure he had her eyes again. "Not ever."

Relief coursed through her, but she was still confused as hell.

"It's a really long story," he whispered, surprising her. She hadn't expected him to say anything else.

When she looked up, he had his head in his hands again.

"You don't have to tell me," she whispered back, feeling guilty for upsetting him.

"I can't lose you," he told her.

"You think you will if you tell me?" she asked.

"I think I risk it either way," he sighed. "And that's not really a risk I have any desire to take, which is why I've been avoiding this discussion," he finished.

"You won't lose me either way," she told him firmly. "I promise you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," he warned.

"I wouldn't. Not to you, and not when it's so important," she swore.

He hesitated so long that she thought he didn't believe her.

"Alright, but let's go inside," he said, standing and helping her up. "I don't want you to get sick."

He doubted his decision as soon as they reached the front door of the Compound, but he knew there was no turning back.

"Ok," she said slowly, as they both took a seat on the couch. "What's going on?"

"You're gonna think I'm crazy," he sighed, biting his lip and looking away.

"Just tell me," she urged.

"Like I said," he started. "It's a really long story, and you're gonna think I'm crazy, and you're gonna have a lot of questions, and you're probably gonna wanna hit me at some point, so it'd be for the best if you just let me talk without interruption for a few minutes. That way I can get it all out, and try to make you understand," he breathed.

She nodded in agreement with a concerned look on her face, but grabbed hold of his hands again to let him know that she wasn't going anywhere.

He began with a disbelieving laugh. "Ya know, I was actually sitting right here the moment it happened. It was a little over two years ago. You, dad, and Hadj were at that conference that Race and I managed to avoid. It was just us, so we…uh…we ordered pizza one night," he faltered. "And I ended up answering Race's phone because he was in the shower. I thought it was the pizza guy, only it wasn't. It was Jade, and before I could even say 'hello' the words were out of her mouth," he paused, and then looked down.

"What did she say?" Jessie asked, trying in vain to hide the disdain in her voice.

"Rachael Quest is alive," he repeated slowly, picking his head back up to see her reaction.

"WHAT?" she screamed, never angrier in her life.

"That's what I said too, but she had already hung up," he continued. "So I went to meet her. She was less than thrilled to see me instead of Race to say the least, but I had to find out what was going on."

"That bitch only said it to get my father to come," she ranted. "Probably to trap him into helping her with something. Jesus, you didn't help her did you? Is SHE the reason you were taken?" she asked, realization dawning at the timing. "And now she needs your help again? No, absolutely not. I will fucking kill her first…"

"JESS," he yelled, catching her off guard. "I need you to just listen," he then requested softly.

"Alright, I'm sorry," she apologized in a broken voice. "You just don't understand what it was like when you were gone, ok?"

"I'm sorry too," he whispered, squeezing her hands, and letting himself think for a moment how he'd feel if he couldn't find her for a week. He didn't wanna go there, however.

"Look," he continued gently. "I thought the same thing at first. I certainly didn't believe that my mother was alive. I saw her die…I saw it. The memory is seared into my brain, and I still dream about it like it was yesterday…but Jade wasn't messing around, Jess. She _really _believed that my mother was alive. No games. No angle. She just wanted to help," he finished.

"You really believe that?" she asked in disgust.

"With every bone in my body," he confirmed, and she pulled her hands away.

"You weren't taken, were you?" she accused, shaking her head and already knowing the answer.

"No," he whispered, and then continued quickly before she could go off. "I believed her Jess. Or…I at least believed that she believed herself. She was gonna tell Race. What if Race told my dad?"

"He would never have done that without proof," she countered.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT," he screamed, jumping off the couch. "YOU DON'T, AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND," he breathed heavily, and then turned from her to look out the window.

She was too stunned to talk.

"You weren't there, Jess. You see how he is about her _now. _Imagine how he was when it happened?" he challenged. "It totally wrecked him. I didn't just lose my mom when she died. He's _never _been the same. I couldn't let him go through that again. _I _couldn't go through that again. I couldn't even risk it," he paused. "So, I did the only thing that I could," he went on. "I put on a stone face, and decided to take care of the situation. And I had to do it alone," he told her. "I will never forgive myself for what I put you guys through, but I don't regret it. And I assure you that I was punished for it," he broke. "I thought…"

When he cut himself off mid-sentence her heart stopped.

"Jonny," she whispered, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his back.

"I was in Paris," he then added quickly, clearing his voice. "We were in Paris for a few days, and then we were in London. We…"

"Jonny," she interrupted. "Did you really think she was alive?"

When he wouldn't answer, she forced him to turn around. Tears were streaming down his face and it all fell into place for her. The reason he was so upset when she found him on the beach that day. Why he would never talk about it. The reason he was different. She wanted to rip Jade apart for being the catalyst to all this, but she was more concerned with making him feel better.

She didn't know what to say. Nothing seemed appropriate, so she just wrapped her arms as tightly around him as possible.

Holding her made him feel better, but he knew that he still had a lot to tell her, so he pulled away and they both sat down in the window seat.

"So obviously I didn't find her," he laughed morosely without making eye contact, and wiping at her eyes. "We got into the house, and she looked like she could be her sister, but it wasn't her. I felt like…I can't even explain it. It was so awful."

"Whose house?" she asked, trying to put it all together.

"Richard Hill," he breathed. "More popularly known these days as Anton Grobin. My dad went to school with him. He's…he's the man who took her. I recognized him immediately," he informed her, clenching his jaw tightly. "This guy is fucked up, and he hates my father. He's also cautious as hell. I've never seen so much security for someone that's not a president, and it's only gotten worse," he finished, rubbing his eyes.

"What do you mean it's gotten worse?" she asked in an alarmed voice. "You know where he is?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Then why haven't you called the police?" he questioned, afraid of what he was planning.

"Richard Hill no longer exists, Jess. He died in a freak motorcycle accident eleven years ago. At least that's what all the records say," he sighed. "This guy is real good. I've never been able to find anything on Hill or Grobin and, believe me, I've spent days looking. I can't prove otherwise without getting Jade in trouble. Her sources aren't exactly legit."

"Fuck her. This man killed your mother," she yelled, disbelief coursing through her.

"Jade was trying to help. I wasn't gonna hang her out to dry. Even if I tried, do you think her source would come forward? It was pointless," he sighed. "Besides," he started again slowly. "I didn't wanna deal with it, Jess. It was a dead issue. She was dead, and I couldn't prove that he wasn't. That was selfish of me, and I can even begin to explain to you how much I'm regretting that decision right now. All I can say is that I thought it was the best decision for everyone involved at the time."

"So you just took it all on by yourself," she whispered, grabbing his hands again. "You could've talked to me."

"I knew you were there, but I couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to," he scoffed. "It's awful. I know that, but it was just easier to forget again. It's hard to explain, and things keep changing on me, which doesn't make it any easier," he admitted.

"Just breathe and tell me," she encouraged. "I won't interrupt."

He stared out the window for a few minutes, breathing a little heavy and gathering his thoughts. He wanted to get all this out right.

"Ok, I think I told you the other night how I've always felt guilty because I pretty much act like my mother never existed. Maybe I was jut following my father's lead because I thought that's what I was supposed to do or what he needed, but I still did it. I do it," he paused. "And I'm ashamed of myself. Along the way I got so used to not talking about her that I couldn't even stand to hear her name. I got to a point where I just never wanted to think about it again, and I convinced myself that was for the best, which was pretty easy to do considering how my father handled everything. I mean, he's never dealt with, so why should I?" he stopped with laugh that held no humor. "Then Jade comes along and turns my whole world upside down. I didn't believe her at all, but I had to go along and prove to her that I was right. I couldn't have her coming in and disrupting everything, but I also couldn't ignore that 'what if' in the back of my mind. And that tiny 'what if' made me feel like the most selfish bastard alive because here I was pretending like she never existed when I should have been helping her escape if it were all true. Then we get to Paris and I see her, or whoever I saw. I still don't know, but I thought it was her, Jess. And that guilt ate me alive for days because of what I'd done...just forgetting her like that," he breathed. Jade had to physically restrain me more than once. It felt like it took forever before we could finally get to her too because he moved her to London in the middle of everything. And then when we finally got into the house…it wasn't her, and I was back to square one in a heartbeat. It felt like I had lost her all over again, and that's why I was so upset when you first saw me on the beach that day. I couldn't break down in front of Jade," he paused. "But then I saw you...and you were upset...and I couldn't handle it, but I also couldn't talk about it. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were before I had picked up your father's god damned phone, so I just…I forgot her again," he broke with fresh tears pouring down his face, the stress of everything finally overwhelming him. "I'm such a dick, and I was so selfish. I just forgot. I left her there. I left her with that psycho because I was too blinded with my own feelings to think clearly," he cried, breathing heavily.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, getting worried again.

"She's alive," he choked out.

"Jonny…"

"No, you have to listen. I know you hate Jade, and I understand why, but she does not have an agenda here, ok? There's no doubt in my mind about that. She's got nothing to gain from this. Why would she make it up?" he posed.

"To manipulate my father," she immediately responded.

"Your dad's not even involved though," he reasoned. "He has no idea what's going on. Jade's never mentioned this to him."

"Yeah, because he'd fucking kill her if he found out that she took you to Paris, put you in such a dangerous position, and filled your head with her lies," she shot back.

"She's not a bad person, Jess. Do you really believe that your father would let her anywhere near you, or any of us, if he thought that?" he asked. "She's not _that _beautiful," he clarified. "And I don't know for sure that any of this is true now, but I do know that Jade believes it to be true, and I know even more that she wouldn't have come back to me with all this again unless she was 1000x more confident. I doubted her a lot the first time around, but she convinced me. We spent a whole week together, and we got to know each other pretty well. I'm not saying I trust her, Jess. I'm saying that I trust her with _this. _I know that she would try to manipulate me if the right opportunity presented itself. I don't doubt that for a second, but if she was gonna manipulate me for any reason, she wouldn't use my mother as the bait. I know that too. I know that she wouldn't do that to me like I know you'd never hurt me on purpose. I know it with every breath I take. Please believe me," he almost begged.

Jessie didn't like being compared to Jade in any way, but she couldn't turn away from him.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she whispered. "That's all I care about. I don't know what else to say, but I don't trust, Jade."

"Trust me then," he told her.

"I can't believe this without physical proof," she countered. She needed to stay rationale.

"Me too," he agreed. "I don't care if she's an exact replica of my mother. I won't let her near my father until we can do a DNA test."

"What about you?" she asked quietly.

"I'll be fine. I've been dealing with this for a while. Don't worry, I'm not getting my hopes up," he promised.

They both knew that was a lie, but Jessie wasn't gonna argue with him. It's obvious to her that he needs to see this through no matter what, so she's gonna be there for him.

"I assume you have more than just Jade's word to go by?" she then asked with a small smile, which she received in turn.

"Not much," he sighed. "Mostly it's just Jade's word, but I trust it, Jess. She got into his London home again about eight months ago. She never believed that she was wrong about my mom, but was even more convinced when Grobin called her in for another job. She said there were multiple women there that looked like my mother...just walking around the house, and he called them all 'Rachel.'

"Decoys," she interjected.

"That was Jade's thinking," he continued. "She managed to get into the house again a few days later, and shadowed Grobin. She hung around all night, and then snuck into the room that he had spent the night in the next morning," he breathed. "My mom was in there," he smiled, and it totally broke her heart.

"She got a picture, Jess. If it's not her, then it's her twin. I really think it's her," he grinned.

"How," Jess started, but he interrupted quickly.

"Because she didn't scream, Jess. When Jade got in, she told her that she was gonna help her, and that she needed to take a picture," he breathed. "She didn't scream, and she didn't alert the guards."

"That doesn't…"

"I know," he interrupted again, not wanting to hear her say it. "But it's something."

"What if he's using Jade?" she questioned. "What if this is a trap? If this guy is as good as you say then I'm sure he knows that Jade is connected to our family. He may be…," but she didn't finish her thought. She was officially scared.

"I have to take that chance. I have to know either way. I can't live in this limbo," he told her.

"I understand that, but we need to tell my father," she urged.

"I already explained that," he said in a dead voice, annoyed and not wanting to argue.

"My dad wouldn't say anything to you're your dad," she assured.

"You don't know that," he replied.

"Jonny, there's so much uncertainty here. This is dangerous," she tried to convince him.

"I know," he whispered. "That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"Well," she began. "Whatever we end up deciding, I'm going with you."

"I know," he whispered again, closing his eyes as if in pain. That horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach was growing by the second.


	22. I have you?

The room was absolutely quiet for over an hour as Jonny digested her declaration to stand by him, both a little happy and totally petrified at the same time, and Jessie tried to sort everything out logically.

"Don't bother," he finally interrupted, knowing where her head was at. "I've spent days trying to make it make sense. You'll just work yourself into knots and then land right back where you started."

"I'm just trying to figure out the safest way to go about this," she breathed out quietly. "_Without _involving my father," she emphasized, a little annoyed.

"That's simple," he piped in, ignoring her snide comment. "You don't come."

"That makes nothing safer," she argued.

"It makes you safer," he yelled, getting angry at her despite the fact that he totally understood her position. He was too scared to be rational, however.

"I can take care of myself," she screamed.

"So can I," he screamed right back. "I don't need you there," he said in a cracked voice.

"Liar," she accused, seeing right through him.

"Alright…but I don't want you there," he sighed. "I can't trust you."

"WHAT?" she asked, feeling like he had just punched her in the face. "You bastard…When have I ever given you reason not to trust me," she cried. "How dare you…when I trust you completely despite what you've kept from me. I won't tell my father," she promised. "I think it's a HUGE mistake, but I won't because I respect your feelings and I TRUST you. Why wouldn't…"

"I didn't mean it like that," he shouted.

"Then how did you mean it?" she ordered. "It's not really a gray area. You either trust someone or you don't."

"Just forget it," he started. He didn't wanna have this conversation with her.

"NO…explain," she yelled. "This is a big deal."

"It's…," he paused and took a deep breath. "I trust you with my life," he breathed. "I trust that you would never hurt me, and I trust that you always have my back no matter what…even when you know I'm wrong. I just don't…" he stopped, letting his emotions get the best of him.

"What?" she asked, unable to control her tears at the sight of his. He never cries. "Jonny," she urged.

"I can't trust you not to rip my heart out," he choked. "I don't trust you not to leave me." he admitted.

Jessie didn't know how to respond.

"If something happened to you…it'd completely wreck me," he told her. "But if something happened to you BECAUSE of me…," he breathed. "I wouldn't be able to live with that. Do you understand, Jess? I COULD NOT live with it. It would kill me."

"Don't talk like that," she whispered.

"Don't come," he begged. "Please…please just let me handle this on my own, Ace."

"I can't," she smiled sadly. "How can you ask me to? Don't you know I feel the same way? What if you were to get hurt or worse…and I could have stopped it? _I _couldn't live with that. I don't trust Jade to have your back."

"I won't die," he promised.

"You won't die to protect your mother?" she posed, with new tears pouring down her face as she already knew the answer.

He didn't respond. He just stood there stoically with a sad look on his face. Then he held out his hand, and she was in his arms a second later, trying in vain to hold back the sense of dread that was flowing through her.

"Don't cry," he whispered into her hair.

"I'm not," she responded against his chest.

"You're shaking," he breathed.

"I'm scared," she confessed.

"When I said it'd be safer for you not to come," he started quietly. "I didn't just mean for you. It'd be safer for me too. If you come, I'll be more focused on keeping you safe than myself."

"Why can't you just trust me to take care of myself?" she asked, trying to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.

"I don't trust anyone to take care of you," he admitted. "I don't even trust myself."

"Well, I trust the both of us," she said meeting his eyes. "We're a team. We always work better together," she rationalized. "And we work even better when fully functioning," she smiled a little, holding his face in her hands. "You need to sleep," she whispered. "You're exhausted."

"I know, but I can't. I've tried. I just don't know how to stop thinking about it. I can't forget. What if I screw up?" he asked softly.

"You won't. You always come through when it matters," she enforced with confidence. "That's why I trust you with my life," she finished quietly.

Jonny just closed his eyes, and then leaned his forehead against hers. "We're a team," he breathed reluctantly.

"Me and you against the world," she laughed softly. "I almost feel sorry for this Grobin guy."

"Thank you for believing me...even if you really don't," he smiled, opening his eyes to meet hers

"I hope this is for real, Jonny. I hope that more than I've ever hoped for anything," she breathed sincerely. "But if it's not…I need you to know that I'm here. Don't forget that. You have me. I'm not going…Mmm," she was cut off then, as his lips came crashing down on hers possessively.

There was nothing gentle about his kiss. It was passionate, demanding, and completely intoxicating. So much so that she didn't even realize they were moving until she was trapped between the couch and his body. He was in contact with every inch of her, and it made her head swim. She'd never experienced anything so raw, but also didn't wanna stop, so she didn't hesitate for a second when she felt him run his tongue along her bottom lip. She opened her mouth under his immediately, and moaned when his tongue finally met hers without interruption. She felt him smile into the kiss a little too.

They continued like that for a while. They were both fighting for control of the other's mouth, and neither was willing to give it up easily. The way they were kissing each other could almost be described as violent. His tongue was so forceful that he kept pushing hers out of his mouth, but she didn't give in without a fight, which drove him crazy. When air became a necessity, Jonny pulled back for about two seconds, and then descended upon her lips again a little slower.

Jessie just allowed herself to sink into the couch and accept his kiss. This time it was slightly more controlled. Perhaps the fear of interruption had dissipated, or maybe they were just a little more comfortable that the other wasn't gonna go running from the room at any second.

Whatever the reasoning, they were taking turns now, exploring the other's mouth in a very languid fashion. Jessie would allow Jonny to run his tongue along the backs of her teeth, and then she'd feel a chill run down her spine as he'd scrape his tongue over the ridges at the top of her mouth. Then he'd concede and allow her to teasingly lick his lips and pull his tongue into her mouth.

The passion building between them was impossible to ignore, especially when insistent tongues led to roaming hands. Jonny was running his hand up and down her leg as they kissed, eventually causing her to just wrap her legs around his waist. Then she felt his hands under her shirt, and responded in kind by rubbing her hands all over his bare back and down his sides.

"Jess," he whispered, taking a breath just long enough for her to remove his shirt without thinking about it. "I have you?" he then asked almost innocently against her lips, thinking clearly for just a moment until she opened her eyes. He was gone again when she opened her eyes. Simultaneously hit by numerous feelings. The fear that he'll lose her or his mother again, the knowledge that Jessie doesn't intend to let that happen no matter what, the love for her that overwhelms him, and the intensity of the physical moment.

Before he could kiss her again, however, she pushed him up until they were sitting in the middle of the couch with her straddling his waist, just like the night he gave her his mother's locket. 'He thought she was alive when he gave it to me,' she suddenly realized, feeling a rush of desire and absolute love go through her. "You have me," she assured him quietly, kissing him and then grabbing his hand to lead him off the couch and up the stairs.

Jonny's heart was going about a mile a minute. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he also couldn't calm down long enough to try and think it through. Jessie, on the other hand, was very much focused. She knew exactly what she was doing. Realizing how much he cared for her made her heart swell. Now, she just wants to take care of him, as much as he'll let her anyway.

She led him through the door of his bedroom about a minute later and then left him standing in the middle of the room. He turned around when he felt her walking away, thinking she was leaving, but quickly realized that she was just shutting the door.

"What're you doing?" he managed to choke out quietly, as she approached him again with a look he couldn't identify, and then encircled her arms around his neck.

"Helping you forget," she whispered against his lips and then kissed him deeply.

And God if she didn't help him forget for a while. She was amazing, and he'sninety-nine percentsure she was about to let him make love to her before her god damned mother ruined the moment.

He's still thanking the heavens, however, that her parents can't seem to go two minutes without fighting. If they hadn't walked into the Compound screaming, he doesn't think he or Jess would've noticed that they had company until it was too late to prevent his death. Even if they could've convinced Race to grant him atemporary pardon, he's pretty sure Estella would've felt no remorse.

They came in yelling, causing Jessie to spring up and run out of his room like lightening. He cursed softly watching her go, but it's a good thing she left when she did because her mother came bounding up the stairs about two seconds later to knock on her door.

"What are you doing? It's five-thirty in the morning," he heard Jessie yell.

"Why the hell did you leave the state without telling me?" Estella yelled back.

"Dad said it was fine," she countered, and then he heard a door slam. He could only hear their muffled yelling after that.

'It's probably for the best though,' he then thought. He's not sure why she was willing to give herself to him like that, but he knows that it would've changed everything. Even if it didn't for her, it would've for him. Making love to her would change his whole world, which would make losing her even more unbearable. Not that an increased degree of unbearablitiy really matters. If something is unbearable, it's unbearable…period.

'Jesus,' he thought, feeling like he was chocking again. 'What am I gonna do? I can't let her come. How can I stop her?'

He couldn't think of a single way no matter how hard he tried, which is why he tried so hard to keep everything from her in the first place. 'Fuck,' he screamed in his head. 'Why did I tell her?'

_Because you couldn't stand the look in her eyes any longer_, he answered himself. _You couldn't stand how much it hurt her that she thought you didn't trust her. You're weak. You're not strong enough, and you're gonna get them both killed. _

'I'm in so much trouble,' he thought. He wasmore confused than ever.

Not only did they almost make love, he almost told her that he loved her too. He would've if she hadn't started kissing him again before he could get the words out.

"Damn it," he sighed, and then his door opened.

"You awake Cowboy," he heard quietly from the doorway.

"Yeah," he replied while sitting up. He didn't have to worry about looking like he just woke up because he knew that he looked like hell.

"You alright?" Race asked, taking in Jonny's appearance.

"Yeah," he yawned. "How pissed is my dad?" he then asked.

"He's pretty upset. You know better kiddo," Race sighed.

"I'm sorry," he sighed back. "But can we skip the lecture please. It's been a shitty night, and I'm beat."

"Wanna talk?" Race probed, wanting to know what happened with his daughter.

"Not really," Jonny breathed. "Why did you come home this early?"

"My ex-wife insisted on making sure Jessie was ok," Race told him through gritted teeth.

"Yeah…I was surprised she came home early too, but Estella could've just called instead of making everyone fly home at like three in the morning," Jonny grinned a little.

"Oh, she didn't make everyone," Race growled. "Just me, and now I'm back to go get everyone else."

"Jesus Christ," Jonny chocked. "I'm surprised you both made it over in one piece," he chuckled morosely.

"I locked the cockpit door," Race told him.

"Well, I think I'll bunker down in here until you get back then," Jonny said. "I'd try to get more sleep, but it sounds like they're gonna be going at it for a while," he pointed in the general direction of Jessie's room.

"I'd try to stop it, but I think it'd be pointless," Race smiled. "Plus, my daughter brought this on herself."

"Why did she come home early?" Jonny asked, curious of the reasoning she gave her father.

"You'll have to ask her that yourself, kiddo. Listen, I gotta get going," he said, changing the subject quickly.

"Be safe," Jonny told him.

"You too," Race grinned. "Stay outta the line of fire."

* * *

"Mom…STOP YELLING," Jessie screamed, in the hopes of just shutting her up for a minute. "Why can't you talk to me like a normal person?"

"Because you don't listen," Estella yelled.

"I listen. I hear everything you say," Jessie retorted. "You're the one that doesn't listen. You only hear what you want, and then you harp on me when I don't give you the answers you like."

"Jessie..," her mother started.

"NO…JUST LISTEN," she said at the top of her lungs. "Please," she begged quietly.

"Fine…go," she sniffed, sitting down on her daughter's bed and crossing her arms.

"Thank you," Jessie responded quietly, hoping that her mother would let her get it all out.

"I know that you have your heart set on Jordan, but I don't," she breathed.

"Jessie, he's…" Estella interrupted.

"Smart, handsome, polite, comes from a good family, will make a great doctor and some girl very lucky one day," Jessie finished. "I've heard that speech a thousand times and I even agree with some, and believe me it's just some, of those things, but he's still not the guy for me, and he wouldn't be the guy for me even if there was no Jonny."

"Jonny…"

"…is amazing," Jessie finished, and gave her mother a look that she better keep her mouth shut. "He's not dad. They have some of the same personally traits…yes, but they're not the same person. I'm not making the same mistakes you did. Although, I gotta say I'm glad you made them because I wouldn't be here otherwise," she sighed.

"Baby, I…"

"I know you don't mean it that way, but it still sucks that you say it all the time. And it sucks that you treat daddy the way you do. He's not the same person that he was eighteen years ago, ya know. He's a great man, and he tries so hard for me all the time. Why can't you do the same?" Jessie cried. "Why can't you respect my feelings?"

"You think your father would respect your feelings if you told him you loved Jordan?" her mother scoffed. "He's only supportive because he likes Jonny."

"You'd like Jonny too if you gave him even half a chance," Jessie said sadly. "And I know daddy would accept Jordan if I asked him to. I know he'd try anyway. He promised me that he'd try when I told him it was for real, and he did. Jordan survived the plan ride here, didn't he?" Jessie grinned. "Well, that's only because you blatantly lied to dad about my relationship with him. Dad would've ripped him a new one otherwise."

"Jonny is not good enough for you," Estella challenged.

"You know nothing about him," Jessie shook her head. "He's not just some random guy I found on the street. He's my best friend, mom. He's been my best friend for twelve years, and he's been there for me every time I've needed him along the way. He never breaks his promises to me. He tries so hard to protect me…even though I can take care of myself. He supports me. He makes me laugh. He holds me when I cry, and…and I feel like I'm in another world when he kisses me," she admitted, praying that honesty would work if she kept trying. "I've dated other guys…great, well-rounded, and mother-approved Harvard guys, and they don't hold a candle to him. No one ever could…because no one will ever know me the way he does," she breathed heavily, waiting for her mother to explode. She didn't though, which made Jessie worry.

"He doesn't know how I feel though, so you may be worrying for nothing," Jessie then added nervously, regretting that admission as soon as it left her mouth.

"What?" her mother asked in disbelief, walking out of the room quickly.

"What are you doing?" Jessie asked, following her and watching in horror as she walked right into Jonny's room. "Mom," she screamed, but her mother closed and locked the door in her face. "Mom," she yelled banging on the door. "I hate you so much," she cried, running back to her own room and slamming the door.

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jonny asked, jumping out of bed to put on his jeans. He had only been in boxers courtesy of his best friend's curious hands.

"That's my question for you?" Estella asked with venom in her voice, as Jonny pushed past her. "Where are you going?" she yelled.

"To see if your daughter is ok. It sounded like she was crying," he replied angrily.

"Because you care so much, right?" she laughed, getting Jonny to turn around with a sharp look.

"I care more than you could ever comprehend," he said in disbelief. "I don't know what I ever did, besides breathing in the same space as your ex-husband, to make you think that I'm Satan's spawn or something, but I assure you that I'm not. I care how she feels. I'm sorry you've never had someone care that much about you, but you don't have to take it out on her," he finished viciously and saw her flinch.

'Direct hit,' he thought a little guiltily.

"Look," she started slowly. "I love my daughter, and I want what's best for her. You're not what's best for her. It's as simple as that. You don't know how to treat a woman. Maybe that's because you didn't have one in your life growing up or maybe …"

"Shut the fuck up," he screamed, going out into the hallway.

"I know it's not all your fault," she said, following him. "Your mother probably…"

"I said shut up," he screamed again, getting in her face a little. "DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER. I swear to God," he said through gritted teeth, taking a step back. He'd never wanted to hit a woman before, but she was testing his patience and it scared the hell out of him. He turned away from her then and pressed his forehead against the wall. He wanted to run away, but his legs felt like jelly.

"With the influences you've had," she continued, shaking her head. "You're either gonna turn into a womanizing asshole or a man who gets the woman he claims to love killed."

'Direct hit,' he thought again, shoulders slumping and unwanted tears flowing down his face.

"You're such an evil bitch," Jessie whispered in shock. She had come back out into the hallway when she heard Jonny screaming. She knew her mother was vindictive, but this was a new low. She had an overwhelming urge to throw her against the wall, but needed to take care of Jonny first. She knew he wouldn't want anyone, especially her mother, to see him crying.

"Can I talk to you in private, J?" she asked, pointing towards her room.

Jonny walked in quickly, ignoring Estella's protests. He didn't want Estella to see that she had gotten to him.

Jessie squeezed his hand as he passed by and closed the door once he was inside, but she remained in the hallway to confront her mother.

"Get out," Jessie ordered with no emotion to her voice.

"Sweetheart…," Estella started.

"No," Jessie interrupted vehemently. "Get the fuck out…and not just out of this hallway. Get out of this house and stay out of my life," she finished angrily.

"That's not gonna happen," Estella laughed. "I'm not leaving you two alone in this house."

"We've spent weeks alone in this house over the last twelve years," Jessie informed her.

"A testament to your father's amazing parenting skills," Estella mumbled sarcastically under her breath, and Jessie rolled her eyes. "I'm not leaving this hallway until he's back in his room. I'm not leaving you two alone behind locked doors," she added.

"Well then, if you're staying put, I guess I'll just have to put a pillow over my head when he makes me wanna scream his name," she grinned.

"Jessie," her mother breathed in shock. "Don't throw your life away over him. Please tell me you haven't…"

"Get…out," she interrupted again. She was so angry. "I told you…I warned you two years ago not to do this. I told you to stay away from him if you couldn't respect him and what he means to me. And you didn't listen to me like always. You came here…and ambushed me…and treated him like shit in his own home. I want you to leave," she finished as calmly as she could manage.

"No," Estella replied flatly.

"I hate you," Jessie whispered, and then received a slap in the face.

"Don't speak to me that way," Estella warned.

"Ok," Jessie laughed morosely. "How dare you preachor get offendedafter the way you just spoke to him? How dare you. The comments about dad are bad enough, but I can't believe you would stoop so low as to throw Jonny's mother in his face," she fumed.

"I'll apologize," Estella promised halfheartedly.

"No," Jessie yelled. "You'll stay the hell away from him. You don't get it," she choked on her own breath, letting her tears freely fall. "He didn't just lose his mother. It's not like she got sick and went peacefully…and he got to say goodbye, mom. He was forced to watch as his mother was murdered right in front of him. He was…he was five years old. He was just a little boy. Do you remember anything from when you were five?" she cried. "Well, I assure you that he does. He didn't just watch his mother get killed either. He had to watch as his father fell apart …and it still hurts him so bad. I love him SO much, mom. It kills me to see him hurting. I feel like I'm chocking right now for the simple fact that I know he's in there upset, so how do you think it makes me feel that my own mother instigated it all?" she finished. "Don't bring up his mother again," she added through gritted teeth.

"Jessie," Estella sighed.

"Please go," Jessie begged.

"I'll be in my room," Estella relented, and Jessie wasn't about to argue. She knew that was the best she could hope for at the present.

With that, Jessie walked back into her room and locked the door. She then leaned her head against the door for a few minutes to catch her breath and wipe the tears off her face. When she turned around, she saw him sitting in her window seat with his head back against the wall and his eyes closed.

"Hey," she whispered, rubbing his arm and then sinking to her knees beside him. "Jonny," she urged when he didn't open his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I really don't like your mother," he whispered back, looking down at her.

His eyes were a pool of unshed tears that were released when he blinked. He had gotten a handle on his emotions a few minutes ago, but it all rushed right back when he heard her voice and was reminded, once again, of how much he stood to lose.

"I don't like her much right now either," Jessie confirmed, taking his hand.

"Yeah, but my reasons are hypocritical," he laughed. "People tend to dislike those who tell them like it is."

"Nothing she said was true," Jessie breathed.

Jonny just turned away from her to look out the window. He didn't wanna hear her tell him it was all untrue because that felt like such a lie to him.

"Don't," he warned, pulling his hand away from her.

"Don't what?" she asked.

"Don't defend me, alright? I don't deserve it, so it makes me feel ten times worse when you do it," he breathed, getting up to leave. "I just want you to stay away from me right now. I want to be alone."

"Stop it," she yelled, freezing him in his tracks. "Don't tell me what to do. I get enough of that from my mother. And stop pushing me away. I see right through you. I know that you're trying to protect me, but there's nothing you could do or say right now to get me to back down. So how far are you willing to go, huh?" she asked. "…because you do have the power to hurt me. You have that power more than anyone, but I'm coming no matter what, so the only question is how much are you willing to hurt me in your unsuccessful attempt to get me to back off?" she finished.

"Jessie," he breathed, turning back around and leaning against the wall. "I feel like I'm treading water. You're the last person that I ever wanna hurt, but I would rather hurt you than take you into a situation that I know is really dangerous," he sighed.

"I am…," she started.

"… the most amazing woman I've ever known," he interrupted. "Who can take care of herself ten times over, but this isn't about…"

"…you doubting my abilities," she finished. "I know that, but I really need you to put yourself in my shoes," she whispered, walking up and putting her hands on his chest. "You may think I'm amazing," she smiled with a blush. "…but you sure as hell know that I'm stubborn. I'm even more stubborn than you, so let's just stop wasting our time fighting and work together, ok?" she asked.

Jonny just sighed heavily and walked back over to sit down in her window seat. He wanted her to know that he wasn't happy about this.

Jessie took a seat on her bed and just stared at him for a few minutes. He refused to make eye contact, but she knew what was going on in his head.

"Ya know," she began, a little choked up. "I don't think my father is a womanizer. That's just my mom being hateful towards him for obvious reasons, but even if he was, I know that you're not that way. And I know that you could never be that way," she whispered. "…because I know your heart, Jonny. You would never do that, especially to me. And don't tell me that you don't deserve to be defended…because you have done NOTHING wrong," she paused. "Maybe you didn't always make the best decisions, but you had the purest intentions, and that DOES matter. It matters to me anyway, which is why I won't turn away from you no matter how much you try to hurt me. I may not like it, but I understand why you do it. I know it's because you care about me…"

"I don't just care about you," he interrupted almost painfully, and finally looked at her. He had tears in his eyes again, and she felt her heart stop at the way he was looking at her. "I'm so in love with you that I can barely see straight," he finally admitted. "No one is more important to me than you," he shook his head. "If something…"

"Nothing will happen to me," she said forcefully, feeling completely overwhelmed. "You will never let anything happen to me. I don't think that…I KNOW it," she told him confidently, getting up on shaky legs to make her way towards him. "I'm not stroking your ego when I say that I trust you with my life. I trust you with everything, Hotshot," she smiled through tears, climbing into his lap and kissing him softly. "And I'm so in love with you too," she whispered, staring right into his eyes. She could see the wheels spinning the moment she said it. "Do me a favor and tell your mind to shut up for a minute?" she grinned. "Just please let me tell you this without you feeling scared or guilty. And don't overanalyze. Just believe me," she urged.

Jonny closed his eyes and took a deep breath at her request. When he opened them again, she felt like he was looking into her soul.

"I know we're young," she started. "And I know we have so much left in this life to experience…but I also know that I found the love of my life when I was six years old and I want to experience everything with him by my side. That's been a scary piece of knowledge for me for so long, and for so many reasons, but the bottom line is that I want this…I want you…and I'm willing to fight for you harder than you could ever imagine, especially if you feel the same way," she smiled. "I'm even willing to fight with you if you're gonna make me," she laughed. "That's why I've been acting so crazy lately. Not because I've just realized my feelings, but because I've realized that I had to tell you about them. That's why I came home early tonight. I was gonna tell you," she sighed, and then looked into his eyes again "If you decide tomorrow or ten years from now that you don't really love me, then I'll walk away, but please don't try to push me away for my own good. Let me make my own decisions, and don't doubt for a second how much I need you. Don't try to figure it out either because I can't even measure it. I just need you, Jonny Quest. More than I need anything else in this world. It's just a fact of my existence. And I LOVE you…so if you love me even half as much as I love you, then just tell me we'll work it out?" she asked. "Tell me you'll make it alright, and I'll believe you with every breath I take," she cried, and they were so close that her tears mixed with his. "You couldn't let me down if you tried. You're the strongest, bravest, and most honorableman I've ever known. You're amazing, and I feel so ridiculously safe in every way imaginable when I'm with you. No matter what happens over the next few days…when all the dust settles. I want us, and I'll do anything so we can get there if you want the same thing," she breathed heavily.

Jonny was absolutely speechless. He didn't know how to respond to that, so he just kissed her like it was the last time he would ever kiss her. He kissed her slowly and with so much emotion that she couldn't possible doubt his feelings.

"I love you," he breathed when they had to come up for air. "And I don't doubt for a moment that you're the only woman I will ever love like this," he said, stroking her hair. "I love everything about you," he smiled, almost sadly she thought. "Your fire, your innocence, the way your mind works…your eyes, your body…everything. I even love the way you play with your hair when you think no one's looking. I'm always looking," he paused. "I want a whole lifetime with you. I want to make love to you…and I wanna make babies with you someday," he cried. "But I don't wanna wreck you," he whispered so heartbroken. "I don't wanna be the reason you cry. How many times have I made you cry since you've been home?" he asked, beating himself up. "I don't wanna be the person that makes you sad."

"Then just let yourself love me without fear," she told him. "Trust me to take care of you. Grab on to me when you feel like you're treading water. I was only upset because you wouldn't let me in," she sighed. "I don't like seeing you so upset, but I really hate it when you won't let me help. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't wanna lose you. I'm scared too, but I don't wanna throw our chance away because of fear. When have we ever let that get in the way?" she posed.

"You're right," he smiled, feeling his heart swell despite his fears. "Are you sure?" he had to ask. "I kinda have issues," he deadpanned.

"Like I don't," she grinned.

"You're my dream come true," he whispered in her hear. "Wanna go steady with me?"

"More than anything," she laughed, kissing him soundly.

"You should probably break up with your boyfriend then," he smiled into the kiss.

"He's not my boyfriend," she whispered, kissing him again.

"No?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "You are," she grinned, kissing him deeply.

"I think I actually feel better," he said with a little wonder in his voice. "I mean…knowing that I have you no matter what happens makes me feel...," he smiled, not sure of how to put it into words. He was still so scared of losing her.

"You have me," she confirmed with another kiss. "You always did," she whispered with a wink. "You always will."


	23. I love you

When Jonny woke up the next morning, it was with a smile on his face despite all the drama from the previous night, despite only getting two hours of sleep, and despite the fact that he'd be finding out about his mother, one way or another, in a matter of hours.

She loved him. The girl of his dreams loved him back and it was all real. She fought for him last night, and she fought for him as hard as he was willing to fight for her, which was an indescribable feeling. She trusted him when he didn't trust himself, and she let him make love to her. It was perfect. He couldn't explain the sense of calm and contentment that washed over him as he held her once it was all over. He just knew that he was still feeling it three hours later. Leaving her lying there after making love to her for the first time was one of the hardest things he's ever done. She had wanted to fall asleep in his arms, but they both knew that couldn't happen with Estella on the prowl. Neither was willing to give her a chance to ruin the experience in any way, so he promised they'd fall asleep together soon, and that was a promise he intended to keep.

"I love you, Jonny Quest," she had whispered as he leaned down to give her one last kiss before leaving. "More than anything," she breathed.

"I love you too," he smiled, kissing her again. "I'll see you in a few hours," he sighed, walking out of the room quietly.

Once in the safety of his own room, he had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but only for a few hours. He was completely spent both physically and emotionally, but adrenaline woke him up anyway. He was tempted to stay in bed until noon, knowing that Race wouldn't be back with everyone until at least then, but he was too anxious to just lie around. Plus, he needed to test the PDA he'd adapted at a sufficient distance from the lighthouse. He didn't have much time for adjustments, if necessary, and he needed it to be right. Actually, he needed it to be perfect. Even more so than before because Jessie's safety was now dependent upon the device, as well. That thought sent a pang straight through his heart, but also made him jump up immediately to begin the day.

After a quick shower, he crept down the stairs slowly in the hopes of avoiding Estella completely. Before he could reach the bottom step, however, she had emerged from the kitchen with her arms crossed. He felt his body slump a little at the sight of her, but refused to let it get to him. He made a silent promise to himself that he wouldn't. Jessie loved him no matter what and she believed in him. That was all he needed to get through this. It didn't matter anymore how much Estella or his own twisted mind tried to mess with his confidence. All he had to do was picture that beautiful girl upstairs that trusted him with everything and it was enough to push down all the demons of doubt.

"I'm not gonna do this with you," he said rudely, pushing past her gently when she tried to step in front of him.

"I'm sorry I mentioned your mother last night," she sighed in an almost bored tone and Jonny forgot his promise immediately.

"No you're not," he scoffed. "You're just sorry that your daughter heard you do it," he glared.

"Jonny," she started.

"No," he interrupted. "Just leave me alone. I've never done anything to you to deserve this and I've certainly never done anything to your daughter to deserve this. I don't care what you think about me, Estella. I used to…I really did, but I don't give a shit anymore. Your opinion of me isn't gonna sway what Jess thinks of me. We've known each other for twelve years. She knows all my secrets and she knows all my faults. I'm hardly perfect. I admit that, but Jessie knows it and still accepts me. That's what friendship is, and above all else she's my BEST FRIEND. Nothing you can say will ever change that. I will be in her life one way or another until the day I die because I don't know any other way to be and I don't want to either," he finished softly and then turned to walk out the door.

Her condescending clapping stopped him in his tracks, however.

"Well, that was a mighty convincing performance Mr. Quest, but I still see right through you," she sneered.

"Like I said," he sighed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I don't care what you think anymore and I'm not gonna argue with you. Just don't talk to me," he shook his head, quickly exiting through the front door, which he then leaned against to take a deep breath. "This is gonna be a long day," he whispered to himself, making his way toward the lighthouse.

* * *

Jessie woke up with a smile on her face, as well, despite the stressful day she was about to face. She couldn't help but worry about the future though. How could she avoid worry completely when the man she wanted to spend that future with was in so much danger? She was still giddy, however. Despite it all. 

He loved her and she could feel just how much when they made love. It was so perfect and more than she could've ever imagined. She wished he could've been next to her when she woke up, but was quickly reminded why he wasn't when her mother barged in with no warning a moment later. As Estella walked right up to her bed, Jessie made no attempt to conceal her state of undress beneath her blankets…not that she had a chance anyway.

"What've you done?" her mother whispered in shock once focused on her daughter's appearance.

"Nothing that concerns you," Jessie replied coolly.

"Well, your little boyfriend's attitude makes sense now," she sneered. "I guess he thinks he can be as rude to me as he wants now that he's gotten into your pants. How could you be so careless?" she whispered.

"He's rude to you because you're a bitch," Jessie shot back. "And I _was _careful. You're the one that insisted I go on the pill, remember? You even took me to the doctor," she smiled vindictively. "Thanks again for that by the way…made last night much more pleasurable."

"JESSICA," she screamed.

"WHAT?" Jessie screamed back, feeling only slightly guilty for throwing the situation in her mother's face.

"Put your damn clothes on and pack a bag," she ordered. "I will not allow this to continue."

"Taking me away won't stop anything," Jessie sighed. "I've been away from him for months. Taking me away won't make me forget how much I love him. I've tried to forget, but I can't."

"Now," Estella yelled.

"No," Jessie shook her head. "You have no right to push me around anymore. I'm eighteen and make my own decisions. I've tried to abide by your wishes and make you happy for too long. I'm tired and I can't make you happy because I don't want what you want. We can't have a relationship until you accept that."

"Why can't you see that you'll just be another notch on his belt?" Estella whispered defeatedly. "I know his type."

"You know NOTHING about him if you could think that, mom. He loves me. I've never been surer of anything…except that I love him just as much," she breathed. "You can try to change that all you want, but you'll fail miserably and probably alienate me completely in the process."

"You would choose him over me?" she screamed angrily.

"You would choose your misplaced hate for him over my happiness?" she responded bitterly. "And don't you dare pretend like you've ever put me first. HE puts me first. HE takes care of me, and THAT'S been true since I was six years old," she yelled. "I highly doubt he was being incredibly sweet and protective of me for the last twelve years just to get in my pants for a few minutes. If all he wanted was a piece of ass, he wouldn't have to work so hard for it. In fact, I suspect all he'd really have to do is smile and be willing and he could have almost any girl in the world, but he wants me mom."

"I thought that very same thing about your father, sweetheart. I thought I had tamed him," she laughed without humor.

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you and dad," Jessie whispered. "…but that's your issue and you need to stop putting it on me. Jonny and I may share certain personality traits with you and dad, but our relationship is NOTHING like yours. You and dad were never friends," she breathed. "You guys didn't even know each other for twelve hours let alone twelve years before you jumped into bed and conceived a child together. You may have loved each other eventually, but you never loved each other enough to make any real sacrifices. I'm just as stubborn as you and BELIEVE me Jonny is worse than dad, but we respect each other's feelings and care enough to work through our disagreements and compromise. We've always done that as friends and now we're doing it as more, so just stop mom…seriously," Jessie warned. "I would choose him over anyone in this world," she sighed. "Please don't make me?"

"Fine… I'm going," Estella cried, walking out of the room without looking back.

Once alone, Jessie began to sob uncontrollably. He mother never put her first.

* * *

Estella wiped at her eyes angrily as she headed back to her room and bumped right into Jonny on the way, who was too lost in thought to pay attention to where he was walking either. 

"God…you're EVERYWHERE," Estella hissed.

"It's my house," Jonny replied in annoyance.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that I'm leaving YOUR house," she informed him. "You win."

"I was never playing a game," Jonny shook his head. "…and I never wanted you to leave. I just wanted you to treat me like a human being," he sighed, knowing that Jessie must be upset.

"Whatever…Merry Christmas," she said bitterly. "Oh, and when you hurt my daughter...not IF, but WHEN...you will answer to me," she warned, walking away without another word

"I'm not gonna hurt her," he whispered to himself.

He had come back to the house in the hopes of enlisting Jessie's help with the PDA, but had a feeling that was gonna have to wait a bit now.

Her door was wide open when he got to her room and his heart broke a little when he heard her soft cries. She was curled up in a ball facing the opposite direction, so he quickly removed his shoes and crawled into bed with her. He didn't care anymore.

She stiffened at first when he wrapped his arms around her, but then immediately relaxed into his warmth.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. She took a deep breath, turning around at his words, and he began wiping the tears from her face the moment he could.

"She drives me crazy," Jessie choked.

"I know," he replied sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"Alright," she breathed. "I refuse to let this sidetrack me today or ruin our first Christmas together," she said determinedly and sat up, wiping the last tears from her face.

Jonny couldn't help but notice her bare back and Jessie blushed when she noticed his obvious distraction.

"So the PDA is good then?" she asked, trying to get back to business. She was praying that this day would end much better than it began…if only for Jonny's sake. She wanted so badly for this to be the best Christmas of his life.

"I think so, but I wanted your input. This thing is our best shot," he sighed, still staring at her exposed skin. She was much more fun to think about.

"How can I help?" she asked.

"Estella has left the property," IRIS then interrupted and Jessie rolled her eyes.

"You ok?" Jonny wanted to know, rubbing the soft skin of her back.

"I will be," she smiled. "Once we get home safe tonight and you keep your promise that I'll get to fall asleep in your arms," she finished nervously, knowing that the chances of that _not_ happening were much greater for so many reasons.

"Everything's gonna be alright," he whispered.

"I trust you," she responded simply. "I just don't trust anything else right now," she sighed. "So how can I help?"

"I need to make sure that this thing will work up to seventy miles away from the lighthouse with no interruption. I see no reason why it wouldn't, but I'm not in a position to be leaving anything to chance. Other than that, I think I've tweaked it as close to perfection as it's gonna get, but I wouldn't mind a second opinion," he smiled charmingly. "So do you wanna go for a drive?"

"Just let me grab a quick shower," she grinned, wrapping herself in a blanket and making her way towards her bathroom. "Wanna join me?" she then asked over her shoulder and laughed out loud at how quickly he began to undress. "Calm down, tiger. I'll get things started," she smiled, turning on the water to let it come to a good temperature.

"I'll just supervise," he smiled, following her in and watching every move she made. "Are you ok?" he then asked soberly.

"Yeah," she responded with a confused look.

"No," he interrupted with a sigh. "I mean are you sore or…are you ok?" he asked again softly and she just smiled, kissing him gently and dropping her blanket to the floor.

"Take your pants off," she giggled, jumping into the shower.

"God…I love you," he declared, removing the rest of his clothes.

"I love you too," she laughed. "Now get the shower."

"No," he emphasized, jumping in after her and pulling her as close as possible. "I really…really love you," he breathed. "I'm so in love with you," he whispered a little choked up, smoothing the hair out of her face. He felt like he needed to tell her that over and over in the next few hours for all the times he should've told her in the last few years…just in case he didn't get a chance later. "I need you to know that and never forget."

"I do and I won't," she smiled, kissing him passionately and taking him away from all his troubles again…even if it only was for a little while.

* * *

About two hours later, they were almost far enough away to properly test the PDA and Jonny felt his heart begin to race. 

"Nervous?" she asked, grabbing his hand when she noticed that he was breathing a little heavy.

"Yeah… and look," he paused.

"What?" she insisted.

"I just wanna apologize in advance if I act like an ass at all tonight," he told her.

"If?" she questioned and got him to smile.

"I love you more than anything," he whispered seriously. "You can't expect me to be rationale about your safety in a dangerous situation, which is why…"

"Don't even say it," she interrupted. "…and irrationality will only make the situation worse," she pointed out patiently. "Let's just get in and out, baby."

"I hope it's that simple," he breathed, wanting to change the subject. "So on to slightly less serious matters…do you think your mom's gonna tell Race?" he asked with a worried look.

"Impossible to say," she sighed. "I'm leaning more towards yes though."

"We should just tell him when we get home," Jonny suggested.

"I know," she acknowledged. "It's just no one's business, ya know? I wish we could keep it that way…at least for 24 hours," she chuckled morosely.

"We love each other and know it," he grinned, pulling the car to a stop. "Nothing else matters anymore. Not really. Like I said, no one can tear us apart unless we let them and I don't intend on ever losing you," he finished.

"So you'll tell my dad and I'll tell yours then?" she smiled.

"Sounds like a plan," he sighed, getting out of the car to stretch.

"I was just kidding," she laughed. "I'll tell my father."

"No…I want to Jess. I don't want him thinking that I'm a coward or anything," he told her.

"Jonny, no one could ever call you a coward with a straight face," she countered.

"I'm serious. I wanna ask his permission," he admitted slowly.

"His permission for what?" she asked a little heatedly. "He doesn't own me."

"Jess… come on," he stopped her. "This is about respect. I want him to know that I respect him and that I respect you enough to discuss our relationship like an adult."

"When did you get so mature on me?" she grinned.

"Probably when you went away to school," he smiled, as she came towards him. "I had far too much alone time on my hands to think about what I really wanted outta this life. To think about you."

"So I can take a little credit for this?" she asked.

"More than a little," he responded, pulling her close and kissing her for a few minutes.

"Ok," she laughed. "That's not helping. Give me the PDA."

"Here ya go," he gave it to her willingly and held his breath as he watched her.

"Jess?" he questioned after about a minute.

"It looks good, J. You did a great job," she grinned, hugging him close and feeling him let out a deep breath in relief. "Your dad would be so proud."

"Let's hope I can make him proud and happy this Christmas," he replied a little distantly.

"You will," she said confidently, rubbing her hands up and down his chest.

"Thank you for coming with me," he murmured, grabbing her hands and kissing them.

"I love you," she smiled. "I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else."

"On to the next challenge of the day then?" he sighed.

"My father loves you," she told him, getting back in the car. "I'm sure he'll be none too pleased to hear of my recent de-flowering, but that'll have nothing to do with you…even if he takes it out on you for a second. Do you wanna do this together?" she then asked.

"No. I'd rather do it alone," he told her. "But I won't use the word de-flower?" he smiled.

"Do you plan on telling him that we're sleeping together? I thought you were just gonna profess your good intentions," she said a little nervously.

"What good will that do if Estella tells him a day later? Don't you think he'd take it better coming from me?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," she breathed.

"He may already know anyway," he pointed out.

"That's true," she realized. "Well, I hope it's not, but it'd definitely be better coming from us. At least it wouldn't be like an ambush that way. In fact, it'd probably be best coming from me."

"I can handle it," he grinned. "I promise. I want to."

"Ok," she relented. "He already knows I love you if that helps."

"What?" he asked, completely thrown by the comment.

"We've discussed it recently," she admitted. "I told my mom a few days ago in the heat of battle and I was afraid she'd tell my dad, so I just took the plunge and told him myself."

"How…how'd he react," Jonny faltered.

"He already knew," she smiled. "And he seemed to be under the impression that you felt the same way. Oh…Hadji knows too by the way, and he also seemed to think that you felt the same way."

"Your dad wasn't angry?" he asked.

"No. I think he was happy, but in a sad way. Ya know?" she told him. "He said he knew this was coming."

"That's good," Jonny breathed. "At least it won't be a total surprise. That should help. So I guess we were pretty obvious then?" he smiled.

"To everyone but ourselves," she laughed.

"And my completely clueless father," he added.

"Yeah, and about that...I'm not telling your father that I de-flowered you," she grinned.

"Please don't," he laughed.

* * *

When they arrived back at the Compound, it was to a full house. 

"Shit," Jonny whispered, stopping the car outside the gate.

"What?" Jessie wanted to know.

"My dad is gonna grab me the moment he sees me to talk. He was really pissed that I left last night," he sighed.

"Mine too," she breathed. "To find out how things went with you, I mean."

"Alright," he smiled. "Well, this will be good practice for tonight. I avoid my dad and you avoid yours."

"Ok," she agreed. "Wait, am I really telling your father?" she asked nervously and he had to laugh. She never got nervous.

"I'll tell him," he smiled. "It'll come better from me anyway. Plus, he's probably not in a very good mood right now."

"And my father is?" she countered. "I'm sure flying all night has kept him bright eyed and bushy tailed."

"Well, I _want_ to tell your father," he told her. "So stop worrying," he grinned. "You're really cute when you worry though."

"How'd I get outta the hard part?" she asked.

"I musta gone a little crazy when you let me see you naked," he smirked.

"Shut up," she laughed. "Always trying to take care of me," she shook her head, climbing into his lap.

"Always will," he smiled, kissing her softly.

"I seem to remember you promising to let me take care of you last night too," she whispered against his lips.

"You did," he smiled. "You are...believe me."

"Alright, let's get the rest of this day going," she breathed.

"In a few minutes," he groaned, pulling her mouth back to his.


	24. And the truth comes out partially

"Don't make me laugh," he hissed, as they huddled together in the laundry room by the kitchen and listened to his father yell. They were able to get there through the garage without being seen, but couldn't go any farther until the kitchen was clear.

"Why has he been acting so irresponsible lately?" Dr. Quest sighed. "I mean, he's always been the most reckless of the three by far, but this is getting ridiculous. He knows that he can't just up and leave like that, and his attitude over the last few months has been unacceptable," he steamed. "And why would you let Jessie follow suit?" he suddenly asked his long-time friend.

"She needed to talk to him," Race said simply.

"What could they possibly need to discuss at three in the morning?" he exhaled back noisily.

"Benton," Race started more patiently than he ever thought possible.

"What?" Benton interrupted and Race realized that the older man really had no idea.

"I'm sure he'll be home soon and with a good explanation," Race finished, deciding it was best to keep his mouth shut until he knew what was going on.

"I just wish he'd think before acting for once in his life," Benton sighed.

"Jonny's a good kid," Race interjected.

"I know that," Benton smiled, almost wistfully. "He really is, but I just wish he'd be more cautious. I couldn't bare it if something happened to him."

Jonny felt the air leave his lungs at his father's admission and felt Jessie's hand in his a moment later in response to his reaction.

"Nothing will," Race replied with confidence. "He may be impulsive, but he can take care of himself and we are here to help him with the rest."

"I know that too," Benton sighed. "I'm gonna go get some rest," he then changed gears. "You should, as well. You need it more than me."

"I'll catch a nap in a few minutes," he promised. "Estella left an unintelligible message on my phone. Something about Jessie being irresponsible and leaving, so I should probably give her a call back," he breathed reluctantly.

"Good luck," Benton chuckled a little. "And please tell my son that I'm looking for him if you cross paths?"

"I will," Race promised as Benton walked out the room. "Shit," he then whispered to himself, leaning against the counter to call his ex-wife.

"I have to go now," Jonny whispered, jumping up to get to Race before he could call Estella.

"Wait," Jessie pleaded, grabbing his arm. "I…um," she stuttered and then received a soft kiss.

"No worries," he said quietly into her ear and then made his way into the kitchen. "Race," he called out to stop the phone call.

"Hey man," Race replied a little surprised, flipping his phone shut. "You're father was…"

"Yeah I know," Jonny interrupted. "I was hoping to talk to you first though," he asked a little nervously.

"Everything alright?" Race wanted to know.

"Can we go for a walk?" he then asked, afraid that his father would walk back in at any moment.

"Let's go," Race agreed, leading the way quietly down to the beach so they wouldn't be interrupted. "What's going on?" he asked the moment their feet hit the sand.

"A lot," Jonny breathed out, suddenly hit by a wave of emotion. He was about to tell the man that he's idolized for as long as he can remember that he's in love with his little girl, and that they had acted on that love…multiple times. Well, maybe he'd leave the multiple part out. What if Race didn't really think he was good enough? Or what if he thought less of him for not stating his intentions before things went to another level. In any case, he found himself praying that the older man would have an entirely uncharacteristic reaction because he couldn't bare the thought of losing another parent, or even majorly disappointing one, at the moment.

"Jonny?" Race encouraged. "You can talk to me, kid."

"I don't feel like a kid anymore," he smiled, but it didn't go to his eyes.

"You're certainly not," Race sighed, getting a little concerned. Perhaps things hadn't worked out the way he thought they would between Jonny and his daughter. The kid seemed nervous, which Race would've expected, if this conversation was going to be what he expected, but he also seemed sad. "Why are you upset?"

"I just feel outta my element," Jonny replied quickly. "There's a lot on my mind and I'm unsure of how to handle certain things, which freaks me out. I just don't wanna let anyone down, and I know my father is concerned…" he paused.

"Just tell me what I can do to help," Race offered, and this time Jonny smiled genuinely.

"What I need is too selfish to ask for," Jonny said slowly.

"Try me," Race countered, taking a seat on the beach and admiring the view for a moment. "What do you need?"

"I just need you to understand," Jonny sighed, sitting down beside Race, and wrapping his arms around his legs.

"Understand what?" Race asked quickly, but patiently, and waited for a response.

"How much I need your daughter," Jonny practically whispered and his breath hitched.

"Need her for what?" Race asked calmly.

"Only everything," Jonny breathed, fidgeting with his hands and then finally looking Race in the eye.

"Have you told her this?" Race asked a little bemused.

"Early this morning," Jonny admitted with confusion.

"Then what's the problem?" Race laughed.

"Well, I …uh," he scratched the back of his head and then let out a long breath, only to hear more laughter at his side. "I…um…just thought…there would be some sort of…interrogation," Jonny said slowly.

"What the hell do you think the last twelve years have been," Race grinned.

"So you're ok with this?" Jonny asked, still cautious.

"The only thing that would make me happier is a convent," Race sighed.

"What?" Jonny laughed awkwardly at the backhanded compliment.

"Look," Race started. "This is by no means easy for me, but there is no other man in this world, not even Hadji," he paused. "…that I could give her up to…just you," he paused again, and Jonny thought he sounded chocked up for a second. "…because I know you see how special she is, just as clearly as I do, and I know you'd do anything for her," Race breathed.

"I would," Jonny replied solemnly.

"I know," Race said seriously, looking him right in the eye. "I trust you."

"You have no idea how much that means to me," Jonny half smiled.

"Then why do you still look like you're gonna puke," Race grinned.

"Because I know why Estella is pissed," he sighed.

"Don't listen to her crap, ok?" Race started a little heatedly. "She's been out of line the entire time she's been here…and don't take anything she says to heart," he finished a bit calmer.

"I don't," Jonny said emphatically. "Well, not anymore. Believe me," he rolled his eyes. "…but she's pissed nonetheless, and I just wanna minimize the fallout as much as possible so Jess doesn't get ambushed."

"Agreed," Race started, but was quickly interrupted.

"…which is why I wanna tell you why she was calling, so you hear it from me first," he paused.

"What is it?" Race urged a little nervous.

"Jessie and I slept together last night…this morning…after you left," he breathed. "We talked and then…," he stopped, his heart never beating faster, save for the moment he was about to make love to her for the first time.

"I love her so much," he whispered a minute later, still waiting for any reaction.

"And Estella walked in…," Race shook his head in disbelief.

"No, but she figured it out," Jonny corrected.

"Would you have told me if she hadn't," Race then asked a little tightly. He didn't wanna be angry, but was finding it hard to control his emotions. He wasn't prepared for this, even if he should have been…and he was mad, even if he was being a complete hypocrite.

"No," Jonny replied honestly, and Race turned to him in shock.

"I'm sorry, but it's no one's business," he said evenly. "We deserve a little privacy, but I just wanted to be completely honest with you since we're not gonna get that. I want you to know that I have every intention of devoting my entire life to her and a life with her. I want you to know that she means everything to me."

"Thank you for being honest," Race said through gritted teeth and then stood up to head back to the house.

"Race," he called out slowly.

"Just," Race started, putting a hand in the air. "I'm sorry, but I need some time with this. I'm just a little…you should probably steer clear for a few days," he said in almost a haze, leaving Jonny feeling like he just got punched in the face.

"That could've been worse," he then whispered to himself, but he still couldn't shake that gnawing feeling inside of him that Race would never look at him the same way. He wasn't sorry. He would never regret it for a second. He was just sad. He knew that Jess was probably waiting patiently for his return, but decided that he needed to clear his head with a run against the wind and crashing waves first. He didn't wanna increase her burden.

* * *

Jessie watched from her window as the two men she loved most in the world discussed her. She knew that her father was pretty much in the loop on both their feelings, as well as, the fact that they were more than mature enough to handle a sexual relationship, but she was still holding her breath as she watched them, petrified that her father would do or say something to hurt Jonny.

It seemed to be going well, but when she saw her father heading back to the house with Jonny still on the beach, she wasn't sure which one to go to first. Ultimately, she decided that her father was the best bet. If he was pissed, then she needed to do some damage control. She was the only one that could ever calm him down when he was being unreasonable. However, her heart one out and she decided to go after Jonny instead.

She was pretty sure everyone was in bed after the early flight back, but ran down the back steps and around the house anyway to avoid running into anyone, especially her father.

When she got down to the beach, she noticed his tracks and began running in the same direction. It took forty-five minutes before she was able to catch sight of him, sitting in the distance against a sand dune. She slowed her pace then to think about what she was gonna say to him. Clearly, it hadn't gone as well with her father as she had hoped, unless he was just getting anxious because of his mother.

He smiled as he saw her approaching and that warmed her soul.

"Hey," she smiled back, taking a seat beside him and playing with his hair. "So…"

"Well, it went better than expected," he grinned, but she knew he was just trying to protect her.

"Tell me," she whispered, wrapping herself in his arms without waiting for an invitation.

"I like this," he sighed, settling back against the dune. "It's only been mine for a few hours, but I don't know how I could ever live without it again."

"It was always yours, Hotshot," she hugged in response. "…but don't try and change the subject."

"It went better than expected," he repeated. "Actually, it was going REALLY well until the 'we slept together part.' He just looked so disappointed when I told him," Jonny finished quietly, stroking her hair.

"I'm sure it was shock. Not disappointment," she encouraged. "My dad is not naïve. He knows in his head that there's nothing wrong with this, but he can't separate the fact that I'll always be his little girl from the fact that I'm actually quite grown up. He needs to realize I'm both."

"It just sucks," he breathed. "The whole thing would've been perfect if we were able to keep a bit of privacy. He was happy," Jonny smiled. "He told me that he trusted me to take care of you. He said I was the only one he trusted," he sighed. "I just wish…it doesn't matter."

"What did he say when you told him?" she asked quietly.

"Not much," he whispered.

"You're holding something back," she knew and felt him take a deep breath.

"He just told me to stay away from him for a few days," he told her and it hurt just as much coming from his mouth.

"What?" she demanded.

"He just needs to cool off," Jonny defended. "I'm sure that's not a conversation any father wants to have with his daughter's boyfriend, so I understand."

"You're more than just my boyfriend in this equation," she said sadly, sitting up.

"I know, which is why it hurts a little," he replied. "…but I have to believe he'll get over it. I mean, he wanted us together, so this had to have crossed his mind before. It's not like it's coming out of left field."

"You're much calmer and more rationale about this than I would have expected," she smiled, running a hand down his chest.

"Well, taking a long run to clear my head does wonders for my sensibility," he laughed, pulling her back down to him. He knew it would take a while before things were back to normal between him and Race, but also knew they'd work it out eventually. Besides, he had bigger worries at the moment. "I'm still confident that this year has the potential to be the best Christmas ever," he whispered. "…despite this oddly warm weather," he added with a small chuckle.

"I hope so," she breathed, closing her eyes for a minute, happy to ignore all the obstacles that they had yet to face to achieve that goal. "I love you so much it hurts," she then whispered, placing a soft kiss on his neck and allowing her lips to linger long enough to be met by his a moment later when he shifted his position. They kissed lazily for a few minutes, neither attempting to deepen the embrace. Then Jonny placed his hand on the side of her face and her mouth opened to his. Things quickly turned heated, and it blew his mind how his emotions could change in a heartbeat of kissing her. He pulled back before things could get outta hand, however.

"My resistance for you is non-existent, so…"

"Good," she interrupted, cutting him off with another searing kiss and placing a leg between his to tease him a little.

"Jess," he warned. It wasn't convincing, but she knew he was right.

"I know," she breathed heavily. "You're right," she conceded, rolling away from him.

"God I want to though," he sighed.

"Me too," she giggled, curling up to him again. "Tonight," she then whispered. "I fall asleep in your arms tonight," she said slowly, wanting to remind him of the promise he had made earlier.

"I want that too," he replied quietly. "Can we just lay here for a while?" he then asked.

"As long as you want," she agreed, holding on to him like her life depended on it.

* * *

"Stel…just calm down," Race pleaded.

"Don't tell me what to do," she yelled.

"There's no point in getting worked up about it though. It's done," he sighed. "Just let it go."

"I can't," she screamed.

"Then you're gonna lose her," Race whispered.

"What?" Estella asked in a shocked tone.

"She's an adult and she's already older than we ever were," he said slowly. "…and you can say what you want about it now, but no one could keep us apart back then once we decided that we wanted to be together."

"She's…," Estella started.

"Old enough to make her own decisions," Race finished. "…and old enough to make her own mistakes."

"So you at least agree this is a mistake," Estella reached.

"No," Race replied. "But since you do, I'm informing you that it's her right"

"I shoulda never left her with you," Estella hissed, and then Race heard the dial tone.

"Merry Christmas to you too," he whispered, lying back against his bed to catch a few hours. He was exhausted in every way.

* * *

"I need to go talk to my dad," Jonny whispered about an hour later.

"Let's head on back then," she smiled, intending to do the same.

"We can walk slowly though," he grinned, grabbing a hold of her hand.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she grinned right back.

When they reached the house, Jonny kissed her goodbye quickly and then made his way up to his father's room. Jessie told Jonny she was gonna watch some TV, but as soon as he was out of sight, she headed straight for her father's suite.

She knocked softly when she got there, but just walked in a moment later when she got no response.

"Daddy," she breathed lightly, approaching him slowly and sitting on his bed. "Can we talk?" she asked as he focused on her.

"Not right now sweetie," he sighed.

"No," she cut in. "We need to," she said with finality and he sat up with a bit of a grunt.

"Sometimes you remind me too much of your mother," he mumbled.

"Dad," she scolded.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly. "Cheap shot."

"I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but I'm not a child and I love him," she said in a tone that wasn't to be argued with.

"I know that," he sighed. "…but this is all new territory for me, ok?"

"Me too," she replied. "It's not like I wanna be having this conversation with you, but I'd like to do it maturely if we have to."

"We don't have too…," he started.

"Yes we do if it means you're gonna look at me differently…or if you're gonna treat him differently," she said cautiously. "This was gonna happen some day. Would you rather it have been with someone like Jordan"

"That would make it a lot easier to hate him," her father admitted honestly.

"Dad…"

"Look," he interrupted. "I'm happy he's the person you want to be with and I hope it works out for the long haul. I really do. I think you're perfect for each other, but I can't just be ok with this. It's not natural. I need a little time to get comfortable with it... at least as comfortable as I could ever be."

"Ok," she agreed slowly. She understood his position, but it still hurt to think her father would be looking at her differently. Now she knew how Jonny must be feeling. "I'm sorry I woke you. You must be exhausted. Get some sleep," she smiled, heading towards the door.

"Hey baby," he called out, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yeah," she asked, turning back around.

"I love you more than anything," he stated simply.

"Me too," she smiled. "And about Jonny…" she started.

"He's my son," her father said quietly. "In every way that matters," he finished.

Jessie just nodded and then left her father to catch up on his rest. She couldn't help but smile when the door shut behind her. Unlike her mother, her father always made her feel better no matter what.

* * *

Unlike Jessie, Jonny had yet to make any progress with his father. In fact, he hadn't gotten a word in edgewise since waking his father to ask if they could talk.

"You can't be SO reckless," his father continued. "There's no excuse for this behavior…"

"I can take care of myself," Jonny interjected when he saw his father take a breath. "Race has been teaching me to do that for the last twelve years, so you need to stop worrying so much. What are you gonna do next year when I'm off at school? You need to trust me," he said slowly.

"I do trust you," his father sighed. "I know you can take care of yourself, but that doesn't excuse taking unnecessary risks."

"I'm sorry," Jonny apologized and saw the anger leave his father's face.

"I'm sorry too," his dad smiled. "I don't like fighting with you, especially during the holidays and after finding out how well you're doing with school. I'm beyond proud of you. You just worry me sometimes. I can't help it. You're so much like your mother. So much," he paused. "She used to call me a worry wart," he laughed.

"I like it when you talk about her," Jonny whispered. "You never do, but you've mentioned her twice in the last two days."

"I guess you're looming independence is just making me miss her more," he said sadly and then changed the subject. Jonny wanted to push him, but decided against it. "So why did you leave?"

"A girl," Jonny smiled. "She's fried my brain."

"Mary," his father grinned. "She's very charming and beautiful."

"No," Jonny laughed at his father's naiveté. "I'm in love with Jessie."

"What? Wow…when did this happen?" his father stumbled.

"The moment I met her," Jonny grinned. "She loves me back…that's the crazy part."

"It's not so crazy," he breathed. "You're a good man. You're exactly what she deserves."

"Thanks Pop. That means a lot," Jonny beamed. "I just had to get away from her and Jordan, ya know? Then she came after me."

"Does Race know?" he asked suddenly, mildly concerned for his son's well being.

"Yes," he laughed. "…and I'm still here, so even more reason to be happy."

"It's good to see you this way," his father said a little sadly.

"Thanks," Jonny replied slowly, suddenly wanted nothing more than to get as far away from his father as possible. It didn't feel fair that he got to feel this way when his father couldn't, and knowing that he held his father's happiness in his hands to a certain extent was too much in that moment. "Get some rest. I think I'm gonna do the same," he then breathed, exiting faster than he intended.

"Shit," he whispered, feeling the pace of his heart increase. Before getting lost in thoughts of things he couldn't control, however, the phone at his side was ringing.

"Hey," he answered closing and locking the door to his room. "I thought I was supposed to call you. Is everything alright?"

"No change," Jade answered quickly. "I've just been thinking a lot about tonight and thought I'd try to talk some sense into you one more time,"

"Jade," he breathed out in exasperation. "Please don't do this to me. I can't handle any more complications today."

"Fine," she sighed

"Is it really fine?" he asked in annoyance. "Things generally aren't that easy with you."

"I'm just worried," she admitted. "I had to try. Just meet me at midnight and try not to stress. I won't say anything."

She hung up then, but her words didn't do much to ease Jonny's mind. He was juggling too much and there were too many variables floating around for him to be certain of anything. The worst part was that there's nothing he could do except obsess until later that night, so he did the only thing he could. He went to find his girlfriend.


	25. The Shower before the Storm

"You should really get some sleep," Jessie implored, trying her best not to sound like she was giving him a lecture.

"I can't," he sighed, continuing to pace the small stretch of path behind the lighthouse where they had retreated while everyone was back at the house catching up on sleep.

"At least sit down," she tried again. "You need to be really on point tonight."

"Don't you think I know that," he said a little harsher than intended. "I'm sorry," he apologized immediately. "I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just…" and he let that statement hang. The silence between them spoke for itself.

"I'll lay with you," she offered sweetly and he couldn't help but smile.

"I'm sure Race would love that," Jonny scoffed sarcastically.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," she ventured.

"You're naiveté is adorable," he teased. "Do you really think your father will ever allow us to get behind closed doors again for longer than a minute? I doubt he'll even allow it after we're married," he laughed lightly.

"Please," Jessie grinned from ear to ear and he couldn't deny her.

"You're gonna be the death of me woman," he sighed, but she knew he wasn't annoyed as she grabbed his hand and led him back to the house smiling the whole way.

It warmed her to the core that he could mention them being married with such ease. He had said it with such certainty even though he was just teasing. It made her feel so safe for a moment, amongst the many moments of dread she'd experienced in the last twelve hours and even the last twelve minutes.

"We should probably leave the door open," he whispered a little nervously as they passed her father's room.

She laughed a little to herself, but made sure the door was left wide open as they entered his room. 'He's so cute,' she thought to herself.

"Just so you know, this doesn't count as me getting to fall asleep in your arms," she breathed as they got comfortable with Jessie nestled up against his side. "Don't you go thinking that your promise has been fulfilled or anything," she smiled a little sadly as he stroked her hair lazily.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Talk to me?" he then asked softly, knowing that he wouldn't be able to calm his thoughts in the silence of the room and knowing even more that she was right… he needed to sleep.

"Do you remember the moment you fell in love with me?" she asked quietly.

"Omnipresent," he mumbled, clearly drifting off a bit. She knew it wouldn't take much. He could barely focus when they were outside.

"I can't remember either," she admitted. "So I've come to the conclusion that it must've been the moment we met. I remember having a strong reaction to you right away", she grinned. "Admittedly, I'm sure it was mostly jealousy at the time because of the relationship you had with my father, but maybe my heart knew better all along because I fell into you almost immediately after that. I can remember clearly just always wanting to be with you because we had so much fun together. That's never changed, actually. I remember hating it when I had to go visit my mother on one of her digs for more than a week too," she laughed a little. "At first, it was because I thought you'd forget about me. Then, after a few years, I was just mad that I might be missing out on something fun," she smiled. "Eventually, it was just that I missed you. I missed you so much that it scared me because I didn't ever plan on needing someone so much," she sighed, just taking a moment to listen to his deep breathing.

She knew he was asleep, but she kept talking anyway. "Why do you even argue with me, babe? You fell asleep in two minutes. We'll save a lot of time in this life if you just listen to me from now on," she grinned, and then just listened to his heartbeat for a few moments. It was so comforting and she was so warm wrapped up in his arms, but she knew she had to leave soon in order to avoid falling asleep. Even though her father was being reasonable, she didn't wanna test his patience. Also, she was really hoping to get some time alone with Jordan to stand up to her mother once and for all.

With that thought, she carefully extracted herself from his embrace. On any other day, he would have been up like a flash upon her first move, but he was truly exhausted. 'Thank God I got him to listen,' she thought quickly, staring down at him fondly. A frown approached her face when she realized he was in a restless sleep, but she was still glad he was resting at all. She then covered him up quickly and went in search of her future ex-boyfriend.

'This must be my lucky day,' she thought ironically when she found him out by the lighthouse about ten minutes later. This was not something she wanted to do in a house full of people. "I hope my luck continues," she whispered to herself softly as she approached him.

"What are you doing out here?" she tried to ask casually.

"I could ask you the same thing," he started off bitterly. "Didn't think you'd be able to tear yourself away from your _best friend_ for your boyfriend or anything. I know that's a lot to ask," he finished sarcastically.

"He's more than just my best friend and you know that," she said in mild annoyance at his tone, still angry at the way he had treated her the previous evening. "…and you and I have never been anything more than glorified puppets in our mothers' wildest dreams. You know that too, Jordan. You're a smart man. We've never really connected. We've never had sex. Hell, we've barely even kissed after months of dating," she sighed and he rolled his eyes. "I know you didn't find that normal, and I'm sure your past relationships have not been similar."

"Yeah," he retorted. "I may have noticed that. I like the whole good girl thing, but I think you take it to a new and ridiculous level."

"Don't get all high and mighty on me," she started quickly. "I've never even remotely led you on. How could you think we were together for real? _That's_ ridiculous. I thought we had some weird little understanding going. YES, I probably should've corrected you when you started walking around like we were then next IT couple without ever consulting me on it, but…"

"I thought we had an understanding too," he interrupted. "…that we were together for the long haul…"

"Explain to me how you could think that?" she yelled and then changed gears. "Look, this is getting us nowhere. At this point, it's irrelevant who believed what. The only thing that matters is that I can't pretend anymore. I can't keep dating you to make my mother happy or to keep other men and my true feelings at bay. It's not fair to anyone."

"How could you do that me," he screamed, angrier than she'd ever seem him. "I loved you."

"Why?" she challenged.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Why did you love me?" she clarified.

"I just did," he breathed. "And I think it's really shitty what you've done."

"Like I said," she whispered. "Don't get all high and mighty on me. We both know you're just blowing up because I've bruised your massive ego…NOT because you love me and NOT because you've ever loved me. You just like the way we look together and the connections I can bring you. That's not the foundation of a real relationship, Jordan. That's a business deal. You've been using me as a pawn, and I've been letting you. I didn't care that you were using me because I was using too so I could get my mother off my back. _That_ was our understanding" she breathed heavily. She wasn't about to admit that she had hoped for a time to start feeling something for him because she knew that was never something she outwardly conveyed. "If you ever truly thought otherwise," she hesitated and had trouble not rolling her eyes. "… then I'm truly sorry, but it would take a lot for me to believe that since you've been banging other girls behind my back the entire time you've claimed to be falling in love with me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked unconvincingly, clearly caught off guard while his focus had been set on playing victim.

"What do you take me for?" she laughed. "Do you honestly think I believed you to be…well practically a monk….for the last few months? I didn't care that you were with other girls because I knew I'd get less pressure from you as a result. I let myself ignore it, but that's not really me…to do something like that. That's the farthest thing from me actually…and I could never be with someone who makes me lose myself."

"That's a little dramatic," he scoffed.

"I wasn't blaming you for it," she realized. "A lot of it has been my fault…maybe even all of it has been. I should've never allowed things to get this far and I'm sorry for that, but I know I've never done anything to make you think I could love you back," she reiterated, wanting to believe it with no doubts. "I couldn't fake that if I wanted to. You see me as a prize and think that you deserve a roll in bed just for the time you've put in. You've probably gotten every girl you've ever wanted, so it drives you crazy that I don't want you," she yelled, again realizing that it was getting her nowhere. "You never had a fair shot if it makes you feel better," she sighed.

"No shit," he replied sarcastically. "I woulda had you under me and begging for more in less than a week if you'd given me even half a chance."

"Wow," she whispered, letting any guilty feelings depart. "You really _are _something."

"Too bad you'll never know," he smiled. "I give you permission to dream about it though."

"Thanks," she grinned with faux sincerity. "If the last few hours are any indication, however, I'm confident _Jonny_ will be able to handle ALL of my needs from now on," she threw in his face.

"Wow," he whispered bitterly. "The Ice Princess can be fucked. I may even need to go congratulate Mr. Quest. I'd love to know the secret to getting in your pants for future reference," he said in awe. "I can't deny how beautiful you are. I still wanna take you to bed," he said obnoxiously. She knew he was just trying to get under her skin because he was angry now.

"Shut up, Jordan. Why do you have to be such a dick about this?" she asked. "I think it's pretty clear that neither of us likes the other enough to make any real sacrifices, so stop pretending like I'm this monster that ripped out your heart because I'm not gonna feel guilty anymore. I don't owe you anything for a two-month quasi-relationship. Please just go home. You never should have come here and I never should have allowed you to stay."

"You're such a stupid fucking bitch," he seethed. "Don't you know that any girl at that school would kill to be in your shoes?"

"Well now they'll all have a shot," she said calmly. "Please leave my house. My mom's no longer here, so there's no reason for you to stay," she breathed. "I'm sure Dr. Quest would be willing to send you guys home on the jet."

"This is not your house," he started.

"It most certainly is," Dr. Quest then interrupted and Jessie's face turned scarlet at the thought of how long he had been standing there. "And you'd do well to never speak to her that way again…particularly on these grounds," he emphasized.

"I'm sorry," Jordan apologized quickly, clearly for Dr. Quest's benefit alone.

"You should be," Dr. Quest stared him down. "Please go pack your things. I'll arrange for you to get home."

"Thanks," he said meekly, walking away like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Why are you letting him talk to you like that?" Dr. Quest asked softly once Jordan was out of earshot.

"You sound like your son," she smiled genuinely.

"Well, I think his intelligence is too often short-changed," Dr. Quest grinned.

"I agree," she laughed. "Thank you," she then sobered, hugging him close.

"Of course," he pulled back slowly. "Come help me with an experiment while he packs."

"Sounds great," she breathed

"…and tell me more about you and my son," he added quickly.

"Naturally," she laughed as they ascended the lighthouse stairs.

"So how did all this come about?" he started.

"I think it was always there," she smiled. "We were just both afraid to admit it for a lot of reasons."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Dr. Quest smiled. "I don't think I've ever seen my son happier than he was this morning telling me about you."

It made Jessie feel on top of the world that Dr. Quest thought that, knowing everything else her best friend was currently going through.

"I've never been happier either," she beamed, wanting him to know that she felt exactly the same way about his son. "He's the best thing that's every happened to me."

"I think the two of you are perfect together. You compliment each other," he smiled a little sadly. "You remind me so much of my Rachael," he said slowly.

"Thank you," she whispered haltingly, shocked by his words. She wanted to say more, but couldn't make her mouth move no matter how hard she tried. He had never said anything like that to her before.

"Anyway," he moved to change the subject quickly. "Do you have some time to help me with a few things or would you rather help Jordan pack," he teased.

"I'd definitely rather hang with you," she laughed.

"Great. Please read over this report to get caught up," he requested, handing her a small packet. "I'd like to get your thoughts. Take some time while I make sure our guests are arranged to get home safely."

"Thank you," she smiled again.

"Anything for you," he winked.

* * *

About an hour later, Race was up and in search of his daughter. A little catnap did wonders for his reasonableness gene. He was starting to get worried when he couldn't find her anywhere in the house, however, and eventually ended up at the one place he dreaded finding her the most… Jonny's bedroom door. The door was just barely shut over, so his 'let's be rational' gene tried to tell him that nothing inappropriate could be going on. Yet, his heart was still beating wildly as he inappropriately, but uncontrollably, entered the room without knocking. 

He realized almost immediately that Jessie wasn't in the room, but something about the way Jonny was laying made him approach. As he got closer, he realized that the kid was all twisted up in his own blankets and completely drenched in sweat.

"STOP," he then called out in his sleep and shifted a bit. "DON'T," he yelled. "MMM…DON'T."

"Kiddo," Race whispered, trying to wake him slowly. "Jonny."

"GET AWAY," he screamed.

"Jonny," Race called out more firmly, gripping his shoulder.

"HA," Jonny yelped, jumping up and grabbing Race by the neck on instinct from the shock of being woken so suddenly.

Completely unprepared for Jonny's reaction, Race quickly found himself beneath the young man, who was dripping with sweat and appeared, if he didn't know any better, frightened.

"Sorry," Jonny quickly recovered once fully awake, jumping off his mentor. "Sorry," he repeated, backing away and leaning against his wall. "I didn't mean to. You just scared me."

"It's alright," Race started slowly, getting to his feet. "It's good to know that your reflexes are so quick if you're gonna be sleeping with my daughter," he then added a little sarcastically.

"Right," Jonny sighed, unsure of how to take that comment and still distracted by his dream. "What's up?"

"I was just looking for my daughter," he admitted.

"I haven't seen her in a while," Jonny answered honestly, thankful that Jessie wasn't still lying with him. He was beginning to catch his breath when he was caught off guard again.

"What the hell were you dreaming about?" Race asked, genuinely concerned and recalling that the way he was acting earlier didn't completely add up to the 'I slept with your daughter' confession.

"I don't remember," Jonny replied quickly, avoiding eye contact. "I don't think I was even dreaming."

"Hey," Jessie then interrupted. "I was just coming to wake you," she said slowly, taking in her father's presence and her boyfriend's appearance. "You ok?" she asked Jonny quietly.

"Fine," he lied. "I was just working out earlier and fell asleep. I'm gonna grab a shower," he then announced, walking away before getting a response.

"What happened?" Jessie turned to her father, trying really hard not to sound like she was accusing him of anything.

"You know as much as I do," Race shrugged. "He was obviously having a pretty intense nightmare when I walked in, but didn't wanna admit it for some reason. He was drenched in sweat."

"I'm sure he's fine," she breathed, knowing exactly what he was dreaming about. "Probably just embarrassed that you walked in," she added lightly, leading her father out of the room.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before," Race reasoned, remembering how Jonny would literally wake up screaming when he was younger.

"Yeah," Jessie agreed. "…but that was a long time ago."

"I guess it was," Race sighed. "You kids grew up on me when I wasn't looking. I was just looking for you…"

"…in Jonny's room," she interrupted and he just shrugged. "Dad…I'm not you…Christ" she joked, but was half serious. She wanted him to see that he was being hypocritical given his bedroom record.

"Yeah…but I bet he is," Race retorted.

"Only the good parts," she grinned sweetly, kissing him on the cheek and then leaving him to ponder what she exactly meant by that.

She had stopped off in Jonny's room when she noticed the door was more open than she had left it, but her real reason for heading back to the house was to find Hadji. She'd already had a heart to heart with all of her other boys that day and didn't wanna leave him out. She knocked softly upon reaching his door, not wanting to disturb him if he was resting.

True to form, Hadji answered on the first knock.

"Jessie," he smiled. "Come in. I was hoping to catch up with you soon. When your father told me that you headed home early, I hoped it was to do what we discussed."

"It was," she grinned.

"I'll assume it went well based on that smile," he observed.

"It was perfect," she hugged him, allowing herself another brief moment of uninterrupted happiness. "Thank you for giving me the little push I needed."

"That's what I'm here for," he shrugged. "Sit and tell me everything."

She did, except for the minor 'Rachael Quest is alive' detail. She hoped he couldn't tell that she was holding something back, but wished even more that she could just get his advice. He was always so level headed no matter what the situation and she felt like a little of that could go a long way in the emotionally charged atmosphere her and Jonny were currently cohabitating.

"Well," he grinned. "I can't wait to see my brother. He must be on cloud nine…what?" he suddenly asked, noticing her expression upon his comment.

She wasn't able to hide it, but quickly recovered.

"It's my dad," she said a little out of breath. "He expected all this apparently, but isn't handling all the…realities…of a relationship so well," she hesitated, knowing that Hadji would understand what she was trying to say. "Dr. Quest has been wonderful though," she smiled, recalling the sweet conversation they had in the lighthouse.

"I see," he nodded. "You may be his little girl, but Race is a realist above all, Jessie. He will come to accept it more quickly than you expect."

"I know you're right," she sighed. "…I would just hate it so much if their relationship changed because of me. I know it means so much to both of them even if they won't admit it."

"Even if it does," Hadji smiled. "They will get it back. I have no doubt about that. Your father _is_ a reasonable man…it just takes him a little longer to get there when you're involved…perfectly natural."

"You always make things seem so simple," Jessie laughed.

"Most things are," he grinned. "People just can't filter emotions out of the way and get to reason…in a reasonable amount of time anyway, as it were….meditation, my friend. When will you and Jonny start listening to me?"

"We always listen, Hadj. We just don't understand what the hell you're saying half the time," Jonny joked from the door.

"Hey," Hadji smiled, jumping up from his bed to embrace his brother. "It's good to see you."

"You too, man. I've missed you," Jonny agreed, giving Jessie a reassuring smile over Hadji's shoulder.

"So Jessie has informed me that the two of you have finally stopped ignoring the inevitable," he slapped his brother on the back as they both made their way back to the bed.

"It was all those damn emotions that slowed us down. I think my filter has just been broken for years," he joked again, sitting next to Jessie and grabbing her hand instinctively.

"Well all that matters is the present," he replied.

"I agree," Jonny said in a tone that Jessie knew conveyed more than just their present conversation.

"How bout we hit up Questworld?" Jessie suggested, hoping to continue Jonny's distraction for a few more hours and lighten his mood. "It's been too long since the three of us have been together. I can't have you guys forgetting how much I dominate."

"It's on," Jonny immediately responded. "You're going down, Red."

"I'm shaking. Let's go," she laughed, pulling them both off the bed.

* * *

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, after wrapping her arms around him from behind. They were out behind the lighthouse after two hours of intense Questworld play. The sun was setting and Jonny's eyes were glued to it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. She could feel the pace of his heart quicken through their embrace. Everyone else was back in the house and she was glad to get a few moments alone with him and away from prying eyes. She knew this would be the last opportunity she'd really get before everything got crazy. 

Instead of responding, Jonny just turned around in her arms and began kissing her slowly. He wanted to savor every second, bringing his hand up to caress her face as he deepened the kiss. He also knew this might be their last chance to act like normal teenagers in love for a while, so he pushed her up against the lighthouse intent on making it count.

"Jonny," she moaned softly, when he moved on to suck the soft spot behind her ear. "We can't..."

"Don't," he interrupted, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist and pressing as close to her as possible. "Don't tell me to stop," he whispered, kissing her again and slyly moving his hand to the button on her jeans. Too focused on his torturous mouth, she had stopped paying attention to his hands until he pulled down her zipper and began slipping them inside.

"Jonny," she called out startled and breathless.

The tone of her voice made him stop immediately. He knew that she didn't really _want _him to stop, but still wanted him to stop.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against hers to catch his breath. "I'm sorry," he repeated as he felt her legs drop from around him and her hands come up to cup his face.

"Don't apologize," she whispered. "I'll gladly be your distraction from everything on any day of the week and any second of the day. I just think we have enough on our plates for today, so we shouldn't risk my father's wrath on top of it. You were right earlier. He's gonna be watching us like a hawk for a while. We'll need to be more discrete."

"...and making love against the lighthouse," he started with a smile.

"...would be exciting and something I _definitely_ want to experience with you some day," she finished with a smile. "...but I think it may have to wait."

"I can handle that," he grinned, pulling her into a tight embrace and sighing.

"Tell me," she breathed into his ear.

"I'm so scared," he admitted quietly.

"Don't be," she reassured, hopping to reassure herself in the process. "I'll be with you every step of the way. We'll take care of this together, babe. Then we're gonna come home and have the best Christmas of our lives."

"I was dreaming about my mother earlier," he confided.

"I know," she sympathized.

"No," he interrupted. "...you don't know. I was dreaming about my mother and then everything changed. I was my father... and you," he hesitated. "...and we had a daughter. She looked just like you...and there was so much blood," he took a deep breath, staring out at the horizon again.

"Don't do this to yourself," she hugged him close. "With everything go on, it makes perfect sense that you'd have a dream like that. It doesn't mean anything. It's not a warning or a foreshadowing. It's just your brain trying to process your fear. Everything is going to be fine."

"You sound so sure," he marveled.

"When have I ever let anything get in my way when I've wanted something?" she smiled. "...and I want you more than anything," she added. "I want you for a whole lifetime."

"Well I've never been able to deny you anything," he laughed, kissing her softly. "Thank you for making me feel better."

"It's my job," she shrugged. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"KIDS...DINNER...LET'S GO," they then heard Race's voice booming from the porch.

"You ready?" she asked.

"I am," he said confidently. In less than twelve hours he fully intended to walk back into that house with the two women who meant more to him than anything.


	26. Mom

_Author Note: I know it's been awhile. Life has been crazy. I tried to make this a good one and I longer one. Hope you enjoy!_

"So what time are we set to go?" Jessie asked as they made their way back to the house hand in hand. She had been avoiding the details as long as possible because she didn't wanna hear his objections to her role in the evening again.

"Midnight. Edge of the compound," he said with little emotion and she couldn't help but flinch. It made her feel extremely lonely when he used that tone, and it scared the hell out of her that he could detach so easily.

"What's wrong?" he then asked with concern, noticing her distressed look.

"Nothing," she responded on auto pilot, but then quickly decided to be honest. "It just scares me when you disconnect like that without skipping a beat," she breathed.

"Hey," he softened, pulling her close as they reached the back porch.

"Come on kids. It's getting cold," Race interrupted, sticking his head out the door.

"Let's go," Jessie smiled. "We have years to talk about my feelings," she ensured. "By the way, I have a feeling this dinner is gonna be a little painful."

"Can we play footsies under the table at least?" he quipped.

"Oh… I've always wanted to do that," she laughed, pulling him into the house.

Dinner wasn't as bad as Jonny had expected…and not just because he got to play footsies with his girlfriend. His father was unusually happy, Hadji was as diplomatic as ever, and Race wasn't overtly pissed off. All in all, it was a nice family dinner that would've been perfect if he hadn't spent the whole meal thinking about his mother.

"It's been too many months since we've all sat around this table," Dr. Quest sighed, breaking into his son's thoughts.

"Yes it has," Jessie agreed quickly. "I'm sorry that I didn't make it home more this semester."

"It's alright," Jonny sighed dramatically. "We know you were busy with Jordan," he teased with a roll of the eye.

"Wow…below the belt Hotshot," she scoffed.

"Well...he was a mammoth douche-bag," Race then piped in with a laugh.

"Thanks," she commented dryly. "Dr. Quest…Hadj…anything you wanna add?" She knew that she sounded annoyed, but was secretly enjoying the meal a lot more than she had anticipated. She had really missed her boys and their teasing.

"I like your current choice of boyfriend a lot more," Dr. Quest smiled.

"…much better suited," Hadji added.

"I'll agree with you there," she grinned at Jonny. "…and thank you again for helping me get rid of that giant pain in my butt, Dr. Quest."

"It was a pleasure," Dr. Quest laughed.

"I thought you liked him, Pop? Oxford and Dr. Monroe and Physics… blah…blah…blah?" Jonny couldn't help but ask, finding it odd that his father would take pleasure in kicking someone out of the house. He wasn't the type.

"He wore out his welcome," Dr. Quest replied vaguely.

"So what school are you leaning towards?" Hadji then asked in Jonny's direction, sensing Jessie's distress at her boyfriend's and her father's curious stares in response to Dr. Quest's comment.

"Uh…," Jonny started, clearly distracted. "I haven't really thought about it," he lied.

"Cambridge is beautiful in the fall," Jessie then grinned sweetly, which distracted him even more.

"…and MIT _does_ have a great program," he teased.

"I won't complain if you choose MIT," she laughed. "I'll be happy as long as you are, but it'd be nice to keep you on the East Coast. I won't lie."

"I _would_ feel better if one of us was in the same state as her," Race commented. "…and I know you can take care yourself," he quickly added before Jessie could. "It would just make me feel better."

"I don't want to sway you now," Dr. Quest smiled and jumped in. "…but my alma mater would offer an amazing four years."

"It would," Jessie agreed quickly.

"Or you could come to Yale with me next year," Hadji offered and Race laughed out loud.

"You wouldn't both do that to me now would you?" Dr. Quest shook his head. "Thank god for Jessie."

"Let's just talk about it after Christmas," Jonny suggested with a little smirk. He was having trouble thinking about the future, even if they were only kidding around.

"That's fair," his father acquiesced. "So what do you guys want to do tonight? I think we should go into town and watch the light show like old times. Not that I didn't enjoy the time with our guests, but it's kinda nice to have things back to normal."

"Sounds great to me," Jessie confirmed, hoping it would help distract Jonny for a few more hours.

"Jonny?" Dr. Quest then asked.

"Let's leave soon so we can get good seats," he said with a smile that Jessie knew was purely for his father's benefit.

"I actually have some last minute shopping to do," Race sighed.

"Dad," Jessie whined a little.

"I know," he grumbled. "Things have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to finish. Believe me, I'd rather be hanging out with you guys. I just want to get it over with."

"Let's all get going then," Dr. Quest announced. "Race, we can drop you off at the mall."

Thirty minutes later, they were waiting for the show to begin. Seats were sparse so Jonny and Jessie opted to stand by the fence in the back. Jonny ended up being glad that Race still had shopping to do because it calmed him to hold Jessie and he didn't feel entirely comfortable doing that around Race yet.

With those thoughts in mind, he wrapped his arms around her from behind without fear and like it was the most natural thing in the world. He didn't care if the rest of Rockport saw. He wanted everyone to know she was his girl.

"Hi," he whispered in her ear as the show began.

"This is nice," she smiled, relaxing further into his embrace.

"So what exactly did Jordan do to piss off my father?" he tried to ask calmly a moment later. He caught her a bit off guard. She knew he was gonna ask, but thought he'd let it slide a little longer given the circumstances.

"Jonny," she sighed, turning around in his arms. She melted again the moment their eyes met, however. "Jordan wasn't happy about our 'so-called' break-up," she shrugged. "He also wasn't happy when I asked him to leave, so your father kinda helped me change his mind," she smiled. "Your father can be a very persuasive man."

"My father would never have made them leave unless that jerk did or said something inappropriate to you though," Jonny reasoned. "I know my father, Jess."

"He was angry and let loose on me for a minute," she sighed. "I bruised his massive ego, so a little backfire was to be expected. Your father interrupted us and put a stop to it," she then admitted and saw Jonny's jaw clench. "All that matters is he's gone though," she added quickly. "Now will you please kiss me already? I've always wanted to kiss you under these lights," she breathed against his lips.

"I love you," he then kissed her softly. "…but I still want to know…" he started and was quickly interrupted by a vibration against his leg. "Saved by the bell," he told her.

"Jade. What's up?" she heard him greet a moment later and couldn't help the dirty look that crossed her face.

"Just wanted to make sure we were still on for midnight?" Jade rattled off.

"We're good," he confirmed. "I'll check the satellite again before coming to meet you."

"Great," she replied.

"See you soon," he breathed, snapping the phone shut.

"Why didn't you tell her I was coming?" Jessie asked a little paranoid.

"Because I don't want Race to know," he sighed. "I can't afford to let Jade think about the implications of you coming…any more than I can afford to think about them. I'm already having enough trouble keeping her quiet about taking me. I know she won't keep quiet about you."

"She thinks I can't handle myself?" Jessie bristled.

"No," Jonny interjected. "She just cares more about what your father thinks than she'd ever admit."

"New subject," Jessie groaned. She didn't want to think about her father and Jade's 'relationship' any more than she wanted to think about Jonny and Jade's relationship…friendship…whatever.

A full minute passed then where Jonny just leaned his forehead against hers with his eyes closed. Jessie could only guess what he was thinking about as his breathing slowed. She just settled for caressing the base of his neck and hoping it made him feel a little better.

"So how nice _is_ Cambridge in the fall?" he suddenly asked with a smile and she felt her heart rate increase.

"Why?" she grinned a little cautiously, not feeling the need to give him any space.

"Because I can't wait to start our life," he said simply. "Certainly not four more years."

"Our life," she breathed in total contentment. "Cambridge would be so perfect with you there," she said a little choked up, thinking about how much she had missed him over the last few months.

"Maybe I can visit you next semester?" he suggested, pulling her even closer. "We can figure out the rest once I'm there. You can show me around, Ace. We can see what it'll be like on our own," he said a little wistfully.

"I can't wait. I want that so much," she whispered, kissing him again and more deeply this time. "You make me so happy," she pulled back with a smile and inexplicable tears rolling down her face. He just wiped them away because he knew how she felt.

They remained in their embrace for the next hour, enjoying the show in the other's eyes. Time stood still and flew by at the same time. Eventually, the clapping of the crowd pulled them back to the real world.

"Two hours," he then whispered.

"Let's go," she pulled him back towards the car.

Once home, Jessie immediately went to bed. Jonny considered doing the same, but couldn't stand the thought of sitting in his room and waiting. He quickly realized, however, that standing around the kitchen wasn't much better.

"Cowboy," he then heard. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah…sure," he said a little surprised by the request. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said to you this morning," Race started uncomfortably. "I didn't really mean it."

"I know," Jonny sighed. "I understand. I mean, I know that wasn't a conversation any father wants to have."

"No…it's not," Race agreed. "…but most fathers aren't lucky enough to have a man like you fall in love with their daughter either."

"I…," Jonny faltered as an incredible wave of guilt washed over him, knowing the danger his love was about to put Jessie in.

'Why couldn't you just keep your fucking mouth shut,' his conscience screamed at him. 'She'd be safe if you had kept your mouth shut. You're so selfish.'

"I love her," Jonny then whispered honestly. "I don't do anything without thinking about that."

"That's what makes you a good man," Race told him. "A better man than I'll ever be. I couldn't ask for more."

"Thank you," Jonny said quietly. He wasn't sure if he could respond without throwing up due to the hypocrisy of it all, so he just opted to keep silent.

"Now are you ready to tell me what else is up?" Race then asked. "Your confession this morning doesn't add up to the way you've been acting. I know you better than that."

"I'm fine," he lied out right. "I just have a lot on my mind right now between school and Jess and the holidays. I'll be back to normal in a few days, especially since I don't have to deal with Jordan anymore," he laughed, hoping to sway suspicion.

"Jonny," Race sighed. "You can talk to me."

"I know," he whispered. "…I just miss my mom," he then said quickly, hoping that a little honesty would help to end the exchange.

"Wow," Race started, not expecting that answer. The kid had never brought up the subject of his mother.

"I know this must seem a bit out of left field," Jonny started. "I just…,"

Race sat there quietly as Jonny processed his thoughts, hoping that he would continue and knowing that he needed to let it out.

"I don't know if my dad knows about this," Jonny started again quietly and looked quickly to the door to make sure they were still alone. "I got a letter from my mom a few months ago…on my birthday," he admitted. "I guess she wrote it right after I was born in case…," he faltered. "…so I've just been thinking about her a lot lately and I guess I don't always handle how that makes me feel in the best way. I'm sorry if I've caused headaches, but I'd rather deal with it on my own and I just don't really wanna talk about it, ya know."

"Jonny," Race started.

"Please…," Jonny interrupted and Race just nodded his head. He knew as well as anyone how it felt to _not _wanna talk, or even think, about the awful experiences in life.

"I'm always here," Race then said simply, pulling him into a quick, but tight, hug. "You'll be fine."

"I know," Jonny smiled, feeling a little better somehow.

"See you in the A.M.," Race took his leave.

"Hey Race," Jonny called out, stopping the older man in his tracks. "I hope you know that if I'm a good man you're a huge part of that," he breathed evenly.

Race just grinned and kept on going.

'Alright,' his conscience warned. 'Go to your room now. I can't stomach any more heart to hearts today.'

Jonny agreed with himself, quickly making his way up the stairs. He was greeted by the most beautiful girl in the world asleep on his bed when he walked in. He knew she'd be there. He knew she was afraid he'd leave her behind at the last second.

He sat in his computer chair and stared at her for twenty minutes before crawling into bed and curling up next her.

"Mmm," she awoke quickly as his arms wrapped around her. "Is it time to go?" she sat up startled.

"We have a few minutes," he whispered, settling in the center of his bed. She quickly laid against him and listened to his heart beat for a few seconds.

"I can't believe I fell asleep," she balked.

"You're exhausted," he whispered, stroking her hair. "You didn't get much sleep last night," he said with a smile in his voice.

"That's true," she played along, pulling herself up to give him a quick kiss. "By the way, I plan to give you plenty more naked sleepless nights when this is all over…just so you know."

"If that's not a motivator than I don't know what is," he kissed her back. "We have to go," he then changed gears.

"Come on," she said with confidence, pulling him off the bed. "I assume Jade has all the equipment we'll need?" Jessie posed.

"All but the PDA," he told her while booting it up. "Still forty-eight," he whispered to himself a few minutes later.

"What's that?" she asked, throwing on another layer of black clothes.

"Grobin hasn't increased security. We still have the element of surprise," he said calmly. Almost too calmly in her opinion. "Let's get going," he told her. "I'll explain more on the way."

They got lucky while sneaking out of the house as everyone seemed to be in bed. He continued briefing her once they were clear of the house.

"Alright," he sighed. "We have ten minutes."

"Jonny?" she questioned when he didn't start filling her in a moment later.

"Please," he started. "…be careful," he begged one last time, hoping the fear in his voice would stay with her.

"I promise," she whispered, pulling him close for a minute.

"Most of the men are outside," he began. "Jade has been staking the place out for the last few days. I've only been there once, but it seems like its pretty simple to get within a hundred yards and then the security is insane. There are forty-eight people on the grounds according to the PDA, so most of them have to be security. They seem to be heavily concentrated outside of the house, so it's not gonna be easy to get in," he paused. "Jade was able to get inside another one of his homes about eight months ago, so I'm confident she can do it again. I trust her to get us in there safely. Please listen to her, Jess."

"I will," Jessie promised for his benefit. "Have you guys discussed a plan for once we do get in the house?" she then asked. "And how are we gonna get out without alerting anyone? He must be tracking her every move if she hasn't been able to contact anyone in thirteen years," she sighed, trying not to sound too disheartening.

"I know," Jonny breathed, looking away for a moment. "I've left the details up to Jade to be honest. I was afraid if we talked about it too much that she'd decide to tell Race. I couldn't take that chance."

"Alright," Jessie nodded resolutely. "We'll sort it out once she gets here…and I promise to behave," she added quickly. She knew he didn't need to be dealing with the arguing of two bull-headed women on top of everything else.

"I love you," he then whispered, kissing her gently. He knew that wouldn't be easy for her and it meant the world that she was putting him before her own feelings.

They were interrupted a few seconds later by a small flash of light about fifty feet from the compound.

"She's here. You ready?" he asked, giving her one last chance to turn back.

"You're stuck with me," she grinned. "Let's go," she then told him, grabbing his had and taking the lead. She knew he was scared.

"What the fuck, Jonny…" was the first thing they heard.

"Jade," he quickly interrupted. "Let's just do this. Jessie is more than capable of taking care of herself. She'll be an asset."

"First of all," Jade breathed heavily. "Less is more in this situation. I've been worried enough about getting the_ two_ of us in that house and now you pull this shit on me last second."

"Listen," he interrupted again. "I'm sorry. I should have called you."

"I'm calling Race right now," she scoffed, pulling out her phone.

"Don't," Jessie then yelled, but calmed down quickly. "Please…Jade. I won't slow you down and I will do whatever you tell me. I promise. There's no need to involve my father," she said sternly, secretly agreeing with the woman for the first time ever, but not willing to alienate Jonny or betray his wishes.

"This is ridiculous. Why haven't you talked some sense into him?" Jade directed to Jessie.

"Have you met him," Jessie half laughed. "Stubborn doesn't even begin to cover it."

"Can you two stop discussing me like I'm not here? We're wasting time," Jonny spoke up in annoyance.

"This is out of line, Jonny. This is asking too much," Jade whispered fiercely.

"I never asked you to get involved in the first place," he then screamed. "I never asked you to come turn my life upside down…twice."

Seeing that he was about melt down, Jessie approached and gently pushed on his chest until they were out of earshot.

"Baby," she whispered and gave him a smile that he couldn't deny. "Getting angry is not the way to get her to cooperate."

"You're so right," he sighed.

"Ah," she grinned. "I only like to hear three other words from you more."

"Thank you," Jonny whispered, making his way back toward Jade to work things out.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I should have discussed it with you first, but please just do me this one last favor," he said evenly.

"Jonny, you know I'd do almost anything for you," she sighed and Jessie cringed at the softness in her voice.

"Then please do this," he interrupted quickly. "Come on, do you honestly believe that I'd risk her safety without thinking about it long and hard? Besides, you know that I'll be more likely to let you call Race if things get out of hand with her there. He'll kill me if something happens to her. I wouldn't risk her like that if I didn't think she could handle herself…not even to protect my father. You know I wouldn't."

Jessie felt like screaming at them to stop treating her like she was made of glass, but quickly decided that another outburst towards Jade would be counterproductive since Jonny seemed to be wearing her down.

"Let's go before my better judgment kicks in," Jade then conceded.

"Thank you," Jonny said in an exhausted tone and immediately made his way to the car, leaving Jessie and Jade behind to size each other up.

"You better be able to take care of yourself," Jade whispered, not hiding her annoyance at the situation or the young woman who'd given her nothing but grief over the years. "He needs…"

"I know what he needs," Jessie responded hotly. "You just better be able to do what you've promised and this better not be a fucking score, Jade. If you're working him, I swear to God I will help my father hunt you down and we both know that's exactly what he'll do."

"This isn't a game," Jade scoffed. "I wouldn't do that to him. He knows that even if you don't…not that he'd fall for a game anyway. He's too smart for that. Maybe _you_ don't know him as well as you think…or maybe you just underestimate him. I'm not sure which is worse."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Jessie laughed, pushing past Jade.

"Yeah, well like it or not, I know him better than you think," Jade shot back. "..and I don't underestimate him for a second. Otherwise, we wouldn't be going through with this right now and YOU certainly wouldn't be here. He NEEDS someone who believes that," she hissed as she passed Jessie on the way to the car.

"Are we ok?" Jonny asked slowly as the two women jumped into the SUV and slammed their doors.

"Fine," they both responded through gritted teeth.

He had opted to sit in the back so he could be closer to his girlfriend and was glad he made that decision as Jade started up the car and sped down the road.

"What's the game plan?" he finally felt safe asking once they were on their way.

"Alright," Jade sighed. "I'm gonna park three miles from the lookout point and we will make our way through the woods again. We will have to move quickly because our window of opportunity is small. Over the last few days, I've still seen no sign that his security perimeter extends into those woods, but we can't take that for granted. Just follow my lead and DO NOT make a sound," she caught Jessie's glare quickly in the rearview mirror.

"Thanks for the advice," Jessie mumbled under her breath, but let it go.

"I'm sure the PDA you reconfigured will be a huge asset, but I don't want to rely on it too heavily and get comfortable," Jade continued. "Plus, who knows what else he may have out there…video equipment…motion sensors. I wouldn't put anything past this sick fuck."

"Got it," Jonny confirmed. "How are we getting in the house?"

"If patterns hold," Jade began again. "…the guards will be switching up at two a.m. They seem to be working in four hour shifts to keep fresh. It only takes about five minutes for them to switch weaponry and reposition. They do it one by one so that the patrolling pattern never fully breaks, but this is our best opportunity to get in the house because the new guards are just catching their bearings and the old shift is tired, cold, and hungry on the inside."

"What about cameras outside the house?" Jessie piped in.

"There are two within range of our entrance point One is stationary and should be easy to maneuver, but the other is definitely motion based so we will need a distraction for at least thirty seconds to be safe while I pick the lock."

"The dogs?" Jonny questioned.

"My thoughts exactly," Jade confirmed. "They freak out at least twice a night due owls catching their attention or whatever else and the cameras follow them, so it shouldn't raise too much suspicion if the cameras don't pick anything up besides the dogs, but the guards will still come running. They won't get there until about thirty seconds after the dogs start going crazy so long as they are as far away from that spot as they ever roam. Timing is obviously very important, so you two better listen to everything I say," she directed toward Jessie again.

"She already promised to listen," Jonny quickly defended before Jessie could react. "She always keeps her promises, so let's stay focused. How are we going to distract the dogs?"

Jessie appreciated his words and resolved to stay even more patient with Jade, so she wouldn't disappoint him.

"I set up a little surprise last night for our four-legged friends. It should distract them long enough to get past and avoid the camera."

"So where do we need to be when this surprise takes place?" Jonny asked.

"Within thirty feet of the house," she sighed. "The motion sensors won't pick us up that far out, but we'll have to be careful to avoid the guards…obviously. This is where I'm hoping the PDA will help. What's the delay?"

"I want to take a minute to test it out once we get there, but I'm gonna estimate three seconds as the best case scenario and thirty as the worst. It will depend on the signal strength."

"Here's hoping for three," Jade responded. "I think we'll be fine either way getting in the house though because I have their patterns down. I got within fifty feet last night…no problems, but I don't know what it's gonna be like on the inside, so that little device will be a major help."

"Where are we entering the house?" Jessie asked.

"According to the blueprints, the window we go through should lead right down into the basement. I don't see any reason he'd have men down there, so we should be able to regroup once inside," Jade responded.

"Doesn't look like he has anyone down there?" Jonny mumbled, while focused on the PDA."

"How can you tell?" Jade asked.

"I interfaced the blueprints of the house with the satellite program to get a better idea of where people were inside. It worked out better than I expected. I knew you hadn't been in the house yet, so I wanted to make sure we weren't walking in completely blind."

"God damn you are good kid," she laughed.

"I'm highly motivated…what can I say," Jonny replied quickly. "So we play it by ear once in the house…"

"With a two hour window…minimum," Jade enforced. "We have to be out of there in two hours whether we have her or not, Jonny. No negotiating on that one. We need time to get safely away before the sun starts to rise. Ample time. We need to make sure that we are safe first. If we have to go back…we have to go back."

"Speaking of getting out…," Jessie prompted.

"Again," Jade sighed. "…the PDA will be a huge help because we can't predict what will happen in those two hours. If we get her inside thirty minutes than I want to be out in forty. We'll have to figure out the safest escape route when the time comes, but whatever we do has to be contingent upon that time frame. I've got cars parked exactly one mile in every direction, exactly north, south, east, and west of our entrance point. The doors are unlocked and the keys are under a rock by the front driver's side wheel. If something happens and we get separated, just get to one of those fucking cars and drive. I have compasses if you need them."

"Our watches have compasses," Jonny said hastily. "How are we getting out of the basement?" he then asked.

"Game time decision," she breathed. "I would like to know if the ventilation system is a viable option though."

"Looks good from what I can see," Jonny told her a moment later.

"That might be our best shot then," she sighed.

"Ok," Jessie started. "So we get into their room undetected. It's gonna be late and I assume Grobin will be there with her…how do we subdue him?"

"How about I break his fucking neck before he has the chance to scream for help?" Jonny said bitterly.

"Hey," Jessie whispered.

"I make no promises, Jess. The bastard stole my mother away from us and has been making her do God knows what for years," he seethed. "This is another reason I didn't want you to come."

"It won't make you feel better," Jessie sighed.

"How do you know?" he bristled.

"Because I know you," she said quietly, sitting back and trying not to feel dejected. He was scaring her, but she didn't wanna let it show. 'This isn't about you,' she reminded herself. 'Just let it go.'

"Do you have any other suggestions?" she then asked Jade, clearing her throat.

"I may have a few tricks in my bag," she replied cryptically. "…but I always enjoy a good neck breaking," she laughed.

Jessie did not find it funny.

"What about guns?" Jonny interrupted.

"More than handled," Jade promised. "Just try to relax boys and girls. We will be there in twenty."

With that, Jonny sat back and noticed that Jessie was about as far away from him as she could manage. He didn't know what he could do or say to make her feel better so he just stared out the window and let his mind roam for a moment before turning in the hopes of catching her eye.

She was already looking at him when he turned and words clearly weren't finding her either, so she just offered her hand and he held on for dear life.

When Jade put the car in park about twenty minutes later, Jonny felt all the blood rush to his head, but quickly pushed it aside. He knew that he had to stay focused, but all he wanted to do was freak out on Jessie and get her out of the line of fire.

"Jess," he called out, pulling her away from the car as Jade prepped backpacks for them. "I want you to call your dad if you feel like you need to alright?"

"I promised to see this through without involving him and I will," she said softly. "Besides, I care how this affects your father too."

"I know," he breathed, putting his hands on her shoulders. "But your life is more important than my father's hurt feelings, so just follow your instincts. I trust them."

"Don't talk like your life is expendable because I'll call my father right now if you do that," she warned and had to look away for a moment.

"Hey," he whispered gently. "I have no intention of leaving you…or missing out on all those naked sleepless nights you promised," he said with a grin and got her to laugh a little.

"Just don't forget that I'd die without you," she whispered back and then he pulled her head between his hands and kissed her deliberately. He didn't care if Jade saw. He pulled back after a few seconds, but kept them locked in their own little world for a few seconds more, forehead to forehead, while he caressed her cheek.

"I love you Jessie Bannon…heart and soul. You've got it all and you'll never lose it. I promise," he breathed.

"I love you more," she barely managed to get out without choking up.

"You lovebirds about done," Jade asked dryly, walking towards them.

"Just lead the way," Jonny said coolly, catching the backpack she threw at him and handing it to Jess.

"Ok, we've got your standard government-issue and untraceable Glock 22s, with silencer of course, and enough ammo to start a war in a third world country," she told them.

"Jesus Christ," Jonny scoffed, looking inside his bag.

"Hey," she started.

"Yeah. I know," he interrupted. "Always be prepared. I know the drill. A few things before we go. Once we get to the lookout point, give me a minute to evaluate the PDA delay."

"Done," Jade confirmed. "What else?"

"If we do end up in separate cars, where do we meet?" Jonny asked.

"Right back here," she told them. "It's already programmed in the GPS as 'home'."

"What's Plan B?" Jessie then asked quickly.

"The Blue Lagoon Motel…room 69," Jade confirmed.

"Alright," Jonny nodded, showing no reaction to her choice of hotel or room number. "Let's get started. Everyone's watch have 12:49?"

"Yes," both women confirmed.

"Stay close, keep up, and put your masks on" Jade then whispered. "We've a lot of ground to cover."

With that, she was off at a trot and three miles never felt so long to Jonny. Once they hit the lookout point, the blood pumping through his veins was like electricity, but his brain set on autopilot and he went about doing what he needed to do.

"Looks like two seconds," he smiled.

"Nice," Jade whispered. "Alright, let's try to get into position in the next thirty minutes. Keep your heads down. We use hand signals from here on out."

Over the next half hour, Jonny kept his eye on the PDA and they managed to avoid the cameras, the dogs, and the guards. Jonny wanted to attribute their luck to fate, but knew that it likely had much more to do with Jade's instinct and skill.

They were where they needed to be a little before two. If the guards held their current pace, it appeared that they'd have the full thirty seconds for Jade to pick the lock on their way in. 'Knowing Jade though, she'll only need ten,' Jonny thought quickly.

Jonny couldn't take his eyes off the time as they waited for the guards to be in the right position. He kept telling himself to calm down because he felt like his breathing was loud enough to alert every guard. Then he felt Jessie's hand slip into his for one last reassuring squeeze.

The next few minutes were a massive blur. Once he gave Jade the 'go' signal, what appeared to be a bird shot up from the brush and made an almost unnatural sound. Not weird or loud enough to raise suspicion with the guards, but the dogs went crazy right on cue. Following Jade's lead, they made their way to the window and managed to avoid the cameras. Jonny and Jessie kept absolutely still while Jade did what she did.

"We've got incoming in about ten seconds," Jonny warned.

"Don't need it," Jade whispered, climbing down into the basement. Jonny and Jessie quickly followed and then they all held their breath as the guards approached.

"Fucking dogs," they heard one grumbling a moment later and then let out sighs of relief.

"What now?" Jonny whispered once the guards were out of range. "I think we should try the ventilation system."

"Agreed," Jade responded quickly. "How many are in the house and where?" she asked, as Jonny was already making the assessment.

"Looks like ten in the kitchen, five in what I'm guessing is the living room, and three outside a room upstairs. Those are the only concentrations," he breathed heavily. "The room being guarded upstairs has two people inside," he added through gritted teeth, assuming those two people were his mother and Grobin.

"How're we gonna climb up a ventilation system without making any noise?" Jessie asked worriedly.

"Let's figure out if we'll even fit first," Jade interrupted. "Jonny?"

"Over here," he breathed, pointing towards the stairs.

They made their way over quietly and Jade shifted some boxes out of the way only to be disappointed.

"Shit," she whispered. "This is too tight. I think Jess is the only one that'd fit with enough room to maneuver…and that's still a maybe."

"I can…" Jessie started, but was quickly stopped.

"No," Jonny shook his head.

"Listen," she began again, and he knew she was mad.

"This isn't a macho thing, Jess. This is for my own sanity," he almost begged. "You and I are not separating, ok?"

"Fine," she sighed. "Let's just figure out what we're gonna do. I don't wanna waste any time arguing."

"Good thinking," Jade piped in. "If the guards are all concentrated in other rooms, then we may be able to get upstairs undetected, but we should do that quickly before they start roaming."

"What about cameras?" Jonny asked.

"I'd bet my life they're all stationary like the home in London, so we should be able to maneuver," she answered quickly. "Also, the cameras are probably monitored in the kitchen where most of the guards are currently distracted. We gotta move now though."

"Alright," Jonny started quickly. "Once you're upstairs, head for the first room on the left. There's no one in there at the moment and it's not visible to the guards at Grobin's door."

"Follow-me," Jade then whispered.

"Wait," Jonny stopped her. "Take the PDA."

"Aww…baby," she started sweetly.

"I want it back, Jade. The moment this is over. No arguments," he said sternly.

"Mmm…this assertive side of you is a major turn on," she then said quickly and brushed up against him as she made her way up the basement steps.

Jessie knew that Jade was trying to get a reaction out of her, so she just took a deep breath and followed the older woman, letting Jonny bring up the rear.

Jade tested the door with ease once at the top of the stairs, finding it to be unlocked and quickly discovering that their first obstacle was about ten feet away. She then signaled for Jonny and Jessie to stay low and made a mad dash for the stairs. Jonny's heart began to beat wildly again the moment she was out of sight and he had to take a second to focus. He saw the camera a few feet from the door once it was his turn to make a move and made sure to close the basement door quietly and crawl quickly to the stairs to avoid being seen.

Jessie and Jade were already half-way up by the time he got there, and he looked nervously behind him a moment later as Jade checked out the hallway. He knew it only took her two seconds to assess the situation and move on, but it felt like much longer. He didn't like being out and so vulnerable. He found himself unconsciously checking for his gun again.

He breathed yet another sigh of relief when they were behind closed doors.

"I don't want to do that again?" Jessie voiced and it was clearly the opinion of all present. "It's just dumb."

"I'm hoping our exit will be much quicker," Jade said evenly. "If you find yourself in need of jumping out a second story window by the way, you have what you need in the bag," she added almost distractedly as she studied the PDA.

"We can't get past those three guards without raising a red flag," she then stated the obvious. "…and I don't think a distraction will work the same as it did last time," she directed towards Jonny. "He's got more men on the door this time, so I'm sure that at least one of them has orders to stay put no matter what happens. Grobin is not gonna make the same mistake twice," she finished.

"Let me go through the ventilation…," Jessie started.

"No," Jade interrupted before Jonny could. "There are too many things that could go wrong and Grobin will shoot first and ask questions later. No one is going in there alone until I decide it's safe," she said with finality. "Just let me think for a moment."

Jonny gave her a few seconds, but wasn't willing to wait any longer given Jade's strict timetable. "The door and window are not any option," he breathed. "It has to be the ventilation duct to get in the room."

"I know," Jade interrupted, but she didn't like it. "Here's the deal. I'm going in the room alone. Grobin should be asleep at this point, so hopefully I can get in quietly and detain him before he can make any noise. I'm also hoping your mother won't do anything to alert the guards. In a perfect world, I'll take him down and your mother will fully cooperate."

"…and in a realistic world?" Jessie then prompted.

"We have to assume that one of them will catch a guard's attention, so you guys need to be ready to incapacitate at least two of the guards," she breathed. "Hopefully, I'll be fast enough to catch the third one on his way in the room. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that they won't have enough time to radio the other men. If they do, we run and don't look back…with or without your mother, ok?"

"Ok," he agreed.

"You better listen to me once things get going," Jade warned.

"We will," Jessie promised, letting Jade know with a look that she'd keep him in line.

"One more thing," Jade started. "I don't think you should take your mask off or try to talk to your mother until we are safe."

"I agree," Jonny interrupted. "I'm not gonna do anything to jeopardize this."

"Ok," Jade smiled. "It's time."

"Be careful," Jonny then whispered. He knew there was no point in arguing with her. He'd gladly be the one to put himself in the most direct danger if she'd let him, but he knew that wasn't the best plan.

"I will," she promised, unscrewing the entrance to the vent in the corner of the room. "There's a squirt bottle with chloroform in your bags. Use it wisely kids and be careful. I'll see you in a few," she then smiled, disappearing into the vent with a wink.

"You alright?" Jessie asked him quietly the moment they were alone.

"I will be when my girls are safe," he whispered, caressing her cheek. "You ready?" he then asked.

"Let's do this," she smiled just for him.

"I'm glad you're with me right now," he then whispered in her ear and pulled her close before she could open the door.

She turned around at his words and embraced him tightly. He held onto her like it was the last thing he'd ever do and it broke her heart a little.

"You better get used to it babe," she whispered back before releasing him.

The next thing he knew, they were back in the hallway, chloroform ready, and just waiting for any indication that Jade needed them.

* * *

'Fuck me,' Jade thought as she tried to maneuver her way through the tight crawl space as quickly as possible, wishing she was as tiny as Jess for a split second. She didn't wanna leave those kids alone for too long. She'd never admit it to anyone, but she didn't even wanna disappoint Race let alone piss him off beyond belief and, not to mention, break his heart if she didn't get them out of this safely.

Once she reached Grobin's room, Jade checked the PDA one more time before making her move to unscrew the vent cover and enter. It took a little longer than she would've liked to get through given the position she was in, but she got the job done and crept into the room quietly a moment later.

She felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck as she stood up straight. She was just a few feet away from a monster, but still a man she had idealized for years. She was just a few feet away from an opportunity to do something unselfish for once in her life and to help make a good man's dream come true.

She was praying to be able to subdue Grobin before he ever knew what hit him and to wake Rachael without causing a stir. The chloroform soaked rag was clutched tightly in her right hand and her heart beat wildly as she approached the bed. She was also praying that Grobin wouldn't recognize her form in any moments of consciousness that he managed to hold on to. This was not a man she wanted as an outright enemy.

The next three minutes passed by in a blur. Jade managed to get the rag over his mouth before he awoke, but the old man put up more of a fight than she had anticipated. He twisted around violently for a moment and she barely…very barely… managed to keep his head turned away from her and his arms at his sides. Rachael stirred almost immediately, but remained relatively quiet upon hearing Jade's whispered assurance.

"I'm back to keep my promise."

Rachael remained quiet after that and just watched as her captor was restrained. Jade wasn't sure if it was because she was scared or thankful. Either way, Jade was thankful that she didn't have to deal with a hostile Rachael, as well.

Jade kept the rag over Grobin's mouth a full twenty seconds after he stopped fighting to ensure that he wasn't playing possum.

"Who are you?" Rachael asked when she felt it was safe.

"I'm here to take you back to your family," she swore, lifting up her mask quickly to give a reassuring smile and so Rachael would recognize her. "I'll explain later though. We don't have much time," Jade added quickly.

"But…," Rachael started, unsure if she should be trusting this woman.

"How can we get the guards to come in here?" Jade interrupted. "We have to take care of the three out there if we have any chance of getting out unseen and unheard."

"Two knocks," Rachael stumbled slowly. "Two loud knocks on the bedside table is the signal for them to come in. They will call the other guards immediately though," she breathed, unsure if she should be divulging the information.

"I have people in place to take care of that," Jade responded. 'At least I hope I do,' she thought quickly. "Get in the bathroom for now, but be ready to move quickly once the guards are taken care of."

Before Rachael could respond, she heard two loud bangs and saw Jade run towards the door.

Jade was on top of the first guard to enter the room before he knew what hit him and Jessie and Jonny had the other two under control before they had any hope of getting to their guns or their radios.

"Never doubted you guys for a second," Jade smiled breathlessly as they drug three more lifeless bodies into the room.

Once the door was closed and locked behind them, Jade began giving out orders and Jonny looked around anxiously.

"Get them all tied up. Hands and feet. Cover their mouths and cover their eyes…quickly," Jade whispered fiercely. "We need to be headed out that window in the next five minutes. Everyone is still downstairs," she breathed, glancing at the PDA. "…but I don't plan on assuming it'll stay that way for long."

Jade then proceeded to tie up one of the guards and Jessie went straight to Grobin, intercepting Jonny's attempt.

"Take those two," she whispered softly.

"Mmm," he half grunted and then felt his knees turn to jelly as his mother emerged from the bathroom unharmed.

His head wasn't gonna believe it was her until IRIS did a full DNA test, but his heart knew better.

Jessie wanted to go to him immediately, but knew she was better off helping Jade with the task at hand.

"Who…who are you people?" Rachael asked, watching them tie-up her captors. Three masked people interrupting her in the middle of the night did not give her a warm and fuzzy feeling…no matter what they promised. These were not the first people to try and take her away, but they were certainly the first to trust her enough not to scream to the high heavens for the other guards.

"We need your help," Jade whispered to Jonny as she passed him by, ignoring Rachael's question.

Jade's request woke him up and he quickly began to help the girls. He wanted to talk to his mother. He wanted her to know she was safe, but he didn't know what to say first. 'I love you.' 'I'm sorry.' He couldn't make any words come out though.

"Answer me," Rachel then ordered.

"Be quiet," Jade responded louder than intended.

"Why should I just go with you?" Rachael asked breathlessly. "People have been trying to take me away for years…to use me against him. Why should I believe you are different? How do I know you won't treat me worse?" she asked with fear in her voice. She was still trying to assess the situation. 'Why haven't they tied me up or knocked me out?' she thought. She wanted to trust them so badly, but the risk was too great. The risk was more than she was willing to take.

"He can't think I TRIED to escape," she then continued with tears running down her face. "He'll kill my fam…my family," she cried, taking a fearful look back at Grobin's still unmoving form. "He's an evil bastard. I can't take that chance."

Jonny began to move towards her, but then felt Jessie's hand on his arm. He knew she was right…this wasn't the time. They needed to get to safety first, so he was gonna let Jade handle it.

"I'm gonna take you to your family," Jade promised softly. "They are friends of mine."

"I can't," Rachael cried, making a break for the door to alert the guards.

"Don't…don't mom," Jonny barely managed to choke out, but it was quick enough to stop her in her tracks.

He lifted his mask as she turned around slowly so that she could see his face and wouldn't be afraid. "Don't be scared," he then whispered, trying to fight back tears. "We're gonna get you home. I swear."

"My baby," she breathed, covering her mouth and falling back a bit against the wall.

Jonny started towards her slowly and then she rushed him, enveloping him in a hug that felt so good it almost made up for all the years he went without.

Jessie couldn't help her tears as she watched the exchange. The happiness she felt for them was indescribable.

"How is this possible?" his mother asked, pulling back slightly to get a good look at him. "I love you so much," she then breathed without giving him a chance to answer.

"We need to go now," Jade had to interrupt.

"Let's get out of here," Jonny smiled at his mother, hating to cut the reunion short. "We have the rest of our lives to catch up, but she's right. We need to go now. Don't worry, we'll keep you safe and we can keep ourselves safe too."

"Put some shoes on," Jade instructed. "In a few minutes it looks like we'll have enough time to get out this window without being in the eye line of any guards. Jonny and Rachael go first. Once you hit the ground, just run like hell. Get your mother to the car to the West," she directed to Jonny, promising with a look what she couldn't dare say out loud. "Jessie and I will be right behind you," she added, getting the ropes ready. "We'll head East to split the guards' attention in case they catch on. You know where we meet."

A lump formed in his throat at the thought of leaving Jessie behind…even if it only was for a few minutes. He knew that his mother would need him more though and he knew Jade would do everything possible to protect her.

"Will you be alright climbing out the window? We'll have to go fast," Jonny informed his mother, pushing his fears aside.

"Yes. I can do it," she said firmly, wiping fresh tears from her eyes. "I want to go home."

"Get ready," Jade then told them, and Jonny quickly led his mother to the window, squeezing Jessie's hand so tightly as he walked by.

A minute later, Jade gave the 'go' order and Jonny and his mother were off down the two ropes that Jade had hanging out the window.

"As fast as you can," he urged his mother. He felt pretty confident that they could get down unseen, but was afraid for Jessie and Jade. They would have a much smaller window, given the guard patrolling patterns and the motion cameras that he and his mother were bound to set off.

It took about thirty seconds for them to get down. He took a quick look up once he knew his mother was safely on the ground and saw that the girls were making their way out the window. That calmed him only slightly and he had the urge to wait, but didn't dare go against Jade's wishes.

"Stay close," he whispered to his mother and then took off. His heart sank in his chest when he heard the dogs going crazy a second later. He just grabbed his mother's hand and kept running though.

"How much farther?" his mother asked about ten minutes later, a little breathless. "I'm sorry. It's been forever since I've been allowed to run."

"We're almost there," Jonny promised.

"It doesn't sound like they're following us," she said hopefully.

"I think they're headed east," he said a little painfully. "Are you ok?" he then asked and felt his legs almost give way when he heard gun shots.

"I'll be fine," she huffed as an afterthought.

"There's the car," he yelled, speeding up to find the key. It was right where Jade said it'd be and he quickly jumped in to start up the car. He wanted to get to the girls as fast as possible.

His mother was next to him a few seconds later and then he peeled out of the hiding spot. It only took four minutes, with the way he was driving, to get back to the designated spot and he knew that waiting for Jessie and Jade would be some of the longest moments of his life.

"Shit," he whispered five minutes later. "Come on."

Rachael had been watching her son silently since they jumped in the car. She knew he was extremely worried, but didn't know how to comfort him.

"I love you little man," she whispered softly. "You're just not so little anymore," she half laughed through tears.

"I love you too," he smiled through his own tears. "I've missed you everyday."

He felt a little better when she pulled him into an embrace, but what he really needed was to see headlights soon.

"Get down," he then ordered as he saw a car approaching. The lights flashed three times a moment later and he knew it was them. It was probably the happiest moment of his life.

"Let's go," he grinned. "We're going home."

Jade jumped out of the car as they approached.

"You want me to drive?" he asked confused.

"Jonny," she said soberly.

"No," he practically hyperventilated, backing away and feeling all the air leave his lungs. "Where is she?" he almost cried, but wouldn't let himself breakdown yet.

"I don't know…"

"WHAT?" he screamed, grabbing her shoulders. "We heard shots. Was she hurt?"

"There were thirty guards coming after us…at least. They were firing at us. She pushed me out of the way when the first ambush came outta nowhere. She probably saved my life" Jade sighed. "We got separated. I tried backtracking when I lost the ones following me, but couldn't find her. I was hoping she'd be here. I'm SO sorry."

"It's not your fault," he whispered, breathing heavily and knowing he'd never survive it if she wasn't alright. "She can take care of herself," he said slowly, trying to convince himself as much as Jade. "…but I need to go find her. Can you get my mother to the hotel?"

"I can't leave you." Jade scoffed.

"I agree," his mother piped in.

"Please," he begged. "We've worked too hard to let this slip through our fingers now. Besides, I'll focus better on finding Jess if I know that my mom is safe…and I will find her. I've made a lot of promises to her and I fully intend on keeping all of them, so don't worry about me."

"Ok," Jade agreed. She had to trust him. "Let's get outta here."

"No…"

"Mom," he interrupted. "I'll see you soon. I swear, but I HAVE to go find her now. She needs me."

"Oh, you better keep this promise too then," she cried, pulling him in tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered back. "Take care of her," he then directed toward Jade and was off at full speed. He figured the best place to start was the car to the north. He knew if anyone could evade thirty guards it was Jessie. She was just amazing like that, but he also knew that he needed to find her fast to avoid the mental breakdown he wanted to have.

A million thoughts were racing through his mind as he frantically ran, but he zeroed in on one. All he could really think about was holding her all night while she slept safe in his arms. Just like he had promised her. He was gonna keep that promise or die trying.

'Baby, where are you?'


	27. Reunion

'Calm down. She's fine. Calm down. She's fine.' That was the mantra repeating in his head while he tried not to let his erratic mind and heartbeat affect his better judgment.

It had been exactly five minutes since he found out she wasn't safe, and he easily cleared the mile Jade had driven to meet him in that short period. He was hoping to run into her on the way back. He was hoping she was trying to get back to him by foot, but every step he took only convinced him further that he should have never let her come. It was the most selfish thing he'd ever done. He needed her too much and he let her risk her life because of it.

Once he reached the previous location of Jade's car, he began to backtrack through the woods from the direction he thought the girls had run from the house. If she was hurt, he wanted her to see him coming so she wouldn't be afraid. The thought of her lying somewhere hurt and scared made his heart constrict violently, but it made him run faster. He was breathing so heavily that someone would hear him coming a mile away, but there was no way in hell he could stop to catch his breath. He was half a minute from making an half hysterical call to Race when he heard them.

"You have ten seconds to tell me who you are and why you're here?" an angry voice whispered loudly, followed by a resounding slap.

"Go fuck yourself," Jonny then heard Jessie exhale defiantly. Another slap quickly followed and the brief moment of relief he felt was washed away.

"Did you call for back up?" a second guy asked in a thick German accent.

"Nein," the first guy emphasized. "Ich werde nicht sterben. Wir müssen finden Rachael. Diese Hündin ist unsere einzige Hoffnung. Wir werden gesetzt werden, wenn wir bringen Rachael zurück."

"Whatever," the second guy laughed.

"You have no sense of self preservation do you?" the first voice asked in disbelief.

"Just let me play with her when you're done. I like them feisty," the second guy whistled.

Jonny continued moving slowly through the trees as the men argued. They came into view a few moments later. There were only two of them and they had not called for back up yet, assuming his German wasn't too rusty. They both had their guns drawn and about forty pounds on him. He unconsciously checked that his gun was cocked and ready to go upon this realization.

"Where is Rachael?" the first guy started yelling again and got in Jessie's face. "Taking her will provide you no leverage. Only death," he warned. "You are not the first to try it and you won't be the last."

Jessie just kept her eyes on a fixed point behind the men and ignored the question. She didn't even look at him when he slapped her across the face again.

Jonny had trouble watching him touch her without reacting, but just took a deep breath and held his ground. He knew it was safer for them both to pick his moment, but it wasn't easy with a red welt forming on her face.

"Perhaps I'm not making myself clear," the man laughed without humor. "Tell me or I will let my partner here play with you as he so delicately put it. I can assure you that you won't enjoy the games he has in mind. Women tend to find him…intrusive."

"Bring her back to the house once you get what we need," the second guy laughed as he began to walk away. "I want to fuck her before you put a bullet in her head. It's more fun when they fight back."

"Breathe," Jonny whispered to himself. 'Wait until this asshole is out of earshot.' Jonny didn't want anyone's death on his conscience. He had promised himself that if he was going to kill anyone it would be Grobin, but he was almost at a breaking point.

"Talk," the man sneered, leveling his gun at her head

'Come on, Jess. Distract him. I need more time,' Jonny thought.

"So what is Grobin gonna do to you when you come back without her," Jessie mocked.

'Easy baby. Don't make him angrier,' Jonny thought, willing her to feel him.

"It won't be half as bad as what I'll do to you, bitch. After I let my friend have at you," he threatened again. "Last chance. I'm serious you little whore."

"There's nothing you could do to me. I won't give her up," Jessie breathed. "She means too much."

Jonny felt like she just punched him, but in a good way. God the way he loved this woman.

"It's your death," the man growled, pointing his gun at her thigh. "Slow death."

"You probably shouldn't do that," Jessie then heard Jonny whisper in a tone she didn't recognize. The man threatening her immediately stiffened and turned toward the sound.

"That's your second mistake," Jonny breathed heavily, taking advantage of the man's momentary distraction and punching him in the throat. The gun fell softly to the forest floor and Jessie grabbed it without hesitation.

"Got him," Jessie whispered loudly, leveling the gun at her attacker's head. The man made a move as if to scream, but thought better of it when Jessie cocked the gun. "Are you sure you want to make mistake number three," she then mocked.

"Please do," Jonny sneered holding the man's wrists firmly behind his back. He had never been so angry in his life, never so willing to take another's life. The combination of this man's involvement in his mother's captivity and the way he was touching Jess made him livid.

"Let's get out of here," Jessie whispered. Her voice brought him back to the present, but he still wanted to beat the shit out of the guy. "Now," she stressed. "We're not exactly alone out here."

"Let's go," he answered briskly. Then he kicked the man's knees out and dragged him behind the nearest tree. "Mistake number one was touching my girl," he whispered in the man's ear before slamming his head against the tree and effectively knocking him out.

"A sleeper hold would have worked just fine," Jessie sighed

"Let's go," he said again in an angry tone. He was not mad at her. He was mad at himself. Jessie knew that, but it didn't help the sting. 'Later,' she thought. 'We have to get out of here.'

Then they started at a mad dash in the direction of the third car.

Her heart was beating wildly as they ran. She was afraid that someone would come out of the shadows at any second. The wooded area around the house was massive, but there were still several of Grobin's men out there looking for Rachael. Jessie could hear them in the distance and it scared the shit out of her. She just tried her best to focus on her breathing and the man she loved in front of her.

When they reached the car, her heart skipped a beat and she got that feeling that shoots through you when a roller coaster falls. They had a couple of close calls during the last quarter mile and her entire side was covered in mud courtesy of a ten minute visit they had with the damp ground as Grobin's men closed in around them. Sheer luck or the grace of God kept those men from discovering the car. All she remembers clearly is that Jonny had a death grip on her and she felt safer despite the danger.

"Let me drive?" she asked when she took a look at her boyfriend. "You're shaking."

"Get in," he ordered. "I'm fine." She knew there was no point in arguing. She just wanted to get as far away from this place as possible.

They drove in silence for forty minutes, while Jonny breathed heavily and took the most roundabout way to the rendezvous point imaginable. He was so tense and focused that she didn't want to distract him, but couldn't hold back much longer.

"Is your mom alright?" she asked when he stopped at a red light.

He just shook his head 'yes' and that was her cue to shut up. She turned her head to the window then and tried to fight the tears she needed to shed…tears of relief, tears of fear and tears of anger.

Jonny brought the car to a stop about an hour later. Jessie didn't see the motel, but guessed it was within walking distance. She didn't even realize she was still in the car until she heard him open her door. She felt like she was treading water, but couldn't reach the surface. She didn't hear him call out her name either.

He pulled her from the car then and into his arms before he let her feet touch the ground. She held onto him like she was afraid he would run away and then gasped, finally taking a breath into her tense body. Tears began flowing again without explanation and tears quickly turned into sobs due to the erratic way she was breathing.

She's not sure how long he held her. She just knows he never let up his grasp. When she felt human again, she was embarrassed for getting emotional.

"I'm sorry," she choked out quietly. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. This has just all been so crazy and I was so scared something happened to you."

"Don't," he whispered, holding her impossibly closer. "Don't apologize. Not ever."

She just enjoyed his embrace for a while longer, wishing they could stay like this forever. "Is your mom alright?" she asked again, wanting to change the subject.

"Are YOU alright?" he sighed, pulling back only enough to stroke the side of her face softly. It was red, but didn't look like it would bruise. He swallowed loudly and had to close his eyes for a moment to get the imagines of her being hit out of his head.

"I'm fine," she smiled hesitantly. "I've had worse."

"Yeah. Don't remind me," he responded sadly and trained his eyes on the ground. "I don't think I've ever been more afraid in my life. When you weren't with Jade…"

"You're not getting rid of me," she promised, finally meeting his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't scare me like that," he almost begged, pulling her as close as possible again.

She just held him tighter in response. "You made everything alright," she whispered. "You promised me you would and you did."

"I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner," he said softly, kissing her shoulder.

"You can't protect me every second," she stated rationally.

"Tell that to my heart," he chuckled. "It's not cooperating with that logic."

"I knew you'd come for me," she then whispered in his ear.

"I love you," he mumbled, nuzzling her neck and then searching out her lips. The kiss was soft, but lingering, and she never felt more loved. He didn't try to deepen the kiss, but he didn't give her much room when he pulled back either. He could feel every breath she took against his mouth.

"It's so mutual, babe." He kissed her again before she could say another word. This time he found his way inside her mouth and she responded in kind. He had her moaning softly into the kiss before she knew what hit her.

"We should go before Jade freaks out," Jessie sighed against his lips a few minutes later, pulling away reluctantly. "I'm sure your mom is worried too."

"Yeah," he swallowed.

"Have you had a chance to talk to her?" she asked.

"No. I was too worried about you," he smiled, pushing some hair out of her face.

"I will ride back with Jade so you two can have some time alone," she offered.

"I have no desire to be a car's length away from you," he breathed quickly.

She couldn't help but smile at his words and wrapped herself in his arms again. She never wanted to leave them anyway. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special," she exhaled.

"I just can't be away from you right now," he admitted quietly.

"You will get no arguments on that one," she smiled into his chest.

"That's a first," he joked.

"Shut up," she laughed. "Are you avoiding talking to your mom?" she asked a few moments later, finding it odd that he wasn't anxious to see her again.

"I'm a little petrified," he said quickly into her hair.

"Why?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know what to say to her…how to apologize," he paused. "I just…"

"None of this is your fault, Jonny. Besides, it's pretty clear how much she loves you," Jessie interrupted. "I was in the same room with you guys for only a minute, but it was overwhelming. I think all she's gonna care about right now is getting her family back."

"…but what she must have gone through…" he started again.

"Your dad will help her adjust and get through anything upsetting her," Jessie pointed out. "That's his job, babe. I'm sure he'll be so happy to do it too. I can't wait to see them together."

"Me too," he smiled, imaging his father's face. "What if she feels different somehow though? I think I would have to go dead inside if I lost my whole family. I don't know how else I would survive?" he worried again.

"Then your father will bring her back to life," she whispered. "I don't see how he couldn't. The way he loves her…it's magic."

"I love you like that," he said barely above a whisper.

"I know the feeling," she grinned.

"When did we become so cheesy?" he asked.

"No complaints," she sighed.

He just kissed her in response.

"Come on," she giggled, pushing him toward the motel.

Hand in hand they approached the door for room 69 with caution. There was nothing but quiet surrounding them and it put Jonny on edge. The door swung open as he prepared to knock. The sudden movement startled him and he pulled Jess behind him instinctively.

"Did you go sightseeing or some shit?" they heard in a loud whisper.

"Good to see you too Jade," Jonny replied dryly, making his way inside. A quick sweep of the room told him that his mother was not there, but the bathroom door opened before his panic could set in.

"Jonny," his mother cried and rushed toward him. She had him in a vice grip and didn't appear to be letting go anytime soon. He couldn't say that he minded.

Jessie and Jade stood back observing. Jade had a huge smile on her face and it surprised Jessie a little.

"You actually do care about him, don't you?" she realized. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but was leaning toward being unhappy about it.

"Are you ok?" Jade deflected. "Do you need a first aid kit?"

"Nothing a shower won't fix," Jessie replied, looking away.

"Thank you," Jade mumbled. "You saved my life."

"Yeah," she huffed. "I won't tell anyone if you don't."

"Deal," Jade responded quickly, going back to her lookout post in the corner.

Jessie wanted to know what the next step of the plan was, but didn't want to interrupt Jonny's reunion with his mother. She decided to go for a quick shower, hoping they would just tell her what to do when she got out.

Once behind a closed door, she breathed a sigh of relief and had one of those moments where everything in your life feels surreal. It took a few minutes for the water to warm up, but she welcomed the additional time to herself.

A knock on the door almost gave her a heart attack, but it was only Jonny making sure she was alright. She stepped under the spray then and felt herself relax for the first time since she found out Jonny's mom was alive.

Meanwhile, in the other room Jonny still couldn't get over the presence of his mother.

"Sorry," he apologized, coming to sit by her on the bed. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

"Of course," his mother smiled and then he noticed her eyes filling up with tears. "I've missed so much," she said sadly.

"We have the rest of our lives to make up for it," he promised. "Jess and I have been best friends since we were six. She has all the dirt on me and won't mind sharing," he laughed. "Believe me."

"I can't wait," she smiled through tears. "I love you so much."

"I love you too…and I think dad loves you more today than ever," he added quietly. He found it odd that she hadn't asked about him yet and watched her reaction closely.

Her eyes were closed tightly and she kept taking deep breaths, trying to get out what she wanted to say without tears.

"I was afraid to ask," she said quickly. "…it's been so long. I wouldn't expect him to mourn me forever. I didn't want him to. I had hoped he found someone to make him as happy as he made me…found someone to help him look after you."

"I've never even seen him look at another woman, Mom. He didn't know how to let you go. I'm glad he doesn't have to try anymore," he told her quietly. "And don't worry. I may not have had a traditional family unit growing up, and believe me I missed you every second, but I have an amazing family. I know you will love them as much as I do."

"Tell me about them?" she asked.

"I don't know where to begin," he smiled. "Uh…Race came to live with us a few weeks after…everything that happened," he hedged. "Dad spent most of his time in the lab, blaming himself for everything I think. It took a really long time for him to start… functioning again. I think it hurt him to even look at me."

"You were so little," she cried. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that alone."

"I didn't," he smiled. "Race was there. He helped me understand what dad was going through and that he wasn't upset with me. He was just…so sad. You were gone and he felt like it was his fault. I can imagine how that would feel," he whispered, unconsciously glancing at the bathroom door. "It was easier once I understood."

"I'm sorry you had to learn a lesson like that at all…let alone at such a young age," she said.

"It's not your fault. I'm just glad to have you back," he grinned. "And don't get me wrong…dad has been as good a father as any. Better even. I know how much he loves me. He just went through a rough time…"

"I can't wait to see him," she swallowed. "I've missed him every moment I've been away. Thinking of you two is the only thing that got me through. Tell me more."

"Well…I have a brother…adopted," he added quickly. "His name is Hadji and he is one of the smartest and kindest people on the planet. We found him begging in the streets on a trip to India. Dad and Race couldn't leave him there. He has an interesting family tree…" Jonny laughed. "He is so much like dad. You have to see it to believe it. They are like peas in a pod."

"And what about the best friend," Rachael smiled, tilting her head to the bathroom door.

Jonny's face lit up just at the mention of her. "Jess came to live with us about a year after Race. She's his daughter. She's…," he smiled and shook his head, hearing movement in the bathroom quickly followed by the door opening. "…everything," he said softly just for his mother's ears.

"Shower is free," Jessie said slowly, uncomfortable that everyone's attention was on her. "So what's the plan? Should we get going?"

"It will be light soon. I think we should stay," Jade spoke up.

"The Compound is like a fortress. All we have to do is get behind its walls," Jessie argued. "My dad could be here in an hour."

"I think it's safer to move at night," Jade argued back.

"We are sitting ducks if they find us here," Rachael stated with fear in her voice.

"Don't worry," Jonny reassured her. "Jade always has a Plan B."

"…and a Plan C," Jade jumped in.

"Which are…," Jessie inquired.

"All the rooms in this motel are adjoining," Jade started in a business-like tone. "We have this room obviously and the one to the right and the left. All the rooms have a bathroom in the back with a window large enough to fit through. All of those windows are open and there are cars behind the motel. If I give the word, Jonny and Jessie go left and we go right. They can't approach us from the front without being seen from this window and I have cameras in the back that are feeding live to the laptop in front of me."

"Cameras are not going to matter if forty armed men are coming at us," Rachael almost yelled. "I know how this world operates."

"So do I," Jade promised patiently. "There's a police station less than a quarter mile down the road. They will be here in two minutes if I call and those men with guns will scatter."

"I would feel safer at home," Rachael shot back and then paused and got an odd look on her face. "I want to go…home." She choked on the last word.

"I agree," Jessie piped in. "I want to go home, Jonny."

"I agree with Jade," Jonny responded with his eyes on Jessie's face and his hand on his mother's shoulder. "I want to go home too, but I trust her instincts. Also, she is obviously the most objective right now."

"Jonny, our dads and Hadj will be up in a few hours. What do you think they're gonna do when they realize we're not home?" she said heatedly and threw her hands in the air.

"I will leave Hadj a message right now. I'll say we got up early to take a drive and will be back late," Jonny assured her.

"My dad will know something is up," she argued.

"I'm just asking for a few more hours, Ace. Please give them to me?" he asked.

She would do anything for him, but she didn't have to be happy about it. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep then," she sighed, moving quickly to the bed furthest from the door and Jade without making eye contact with anyone. It wasn't the first impression she wanted to make on Jonny's mother, but she would worry about that when they were all safe.

Jonny couldn't stand the fact that he had to go against the women he loved, but he had to do what he thought was best. What he thought would keep them safe. He was just glad Jess didn't put up a fight. He was too tired to fight.

"Try and get some sleep," Jonny told his mother. "Please trust us. We will keep you safe."

"I just want my family back," she whispered.

"We will all be together in less than twenty-four hours," he grinned and tried to convey a confidence he didn't completely feel. "We are gonna spend Christmas as a family and it will be the best Christmas ever."

"I am exhausted," she admitted. "I want to talk to you more though," she cried, grabbing his hand.

"Me too," he smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

"…but you look more exhausted than I feel," she interrupted and pulled back. "When all this is over," she paused. "I want to spend a whole day just the two of us."

"I can't wait for that. I know exactly where I want to go too," he said, leading her toward the other bed.

"I love you," she whispered, pulling him close one more time.

"I love you too," he breathed.

Once she was settled, he dimmed the lights and made his way over to Jade.

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

"I'll survive," he deflected and tried to stop a yawn in progress.

"Get some sleep," she ordered. "You're mom was right. You look like hell. When is the last time you slept?"

"I just need a shower to wake me up," he told her. "So what's the plan for tomorrow?" he asked. "I don't think we should stay here all day."

"I agree," she said. "There's another reason I wanted to wait awhile before heading back to the Compound. Grobin is smart. He's so close to you guys. He will definitely send people to check it out."

"They won't get past IRIS," he dismissed.

"They won't try to break in," she explained.

"They will just want to see if anything is out of the ordinary," he interrupted.

"He can't get her back until he figures out who has her," Jade continued.

"…and if we go back to the Compound after being crossed off that fucker's list it buys us more time," he finished.

"We should work together more often," Jade smiled. "So what do YOU think we should do?"

"Can I borrow your computer?" he grinned and raised his eyebrows.

"I love it when you get that look," she laughed softly. "What are you doing?"

"Securing us a safe place to hide out tomorrow," he told her without looking up from the screen. He was typing away furiously.

"I wish I had your hacking capabilities," she said longingly.

"It would make your life easier," he joked. "Here," he said, handing the computer back about ten minutes later. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and leave a message for Hadji."

He started the water while dialing Hadji's number. The voicemail came on after three rings.

"Hadj, sorry to do this to you but I need a huge favor. Jess and I decided to get up early and go for a long drive today. We just need some time alone to talk and figure everything out. I was hoping you could run damage control with dad and Race. We're gonna shut our phones off, but we'll be home before dinner. Thanks."

He hated lying to his brother, but it was a necessary evil. He just needed a little more time to think. "Fuck," he whispered, splashing cold water on his face. Jess was mad at him and he was lying to the rest of his family. He had to believe it was worth it though. He knew Jade was right and he didn't want to say anything to his father or Race that would make them act out of the ordinary. Even if he explained his logic to them it wouldn't work. Race would want to see that Jessie was alright and his father would want to be with his mother. They wouldn't wait… not even a few hours. He knew they wouldn't because he wouldn't wait either.

Looking at his reflection in the dirty motel mirror, he felt like he was looking at a stranger…a very tired stranger. "You just have to keep them safe for one day."

He stripped down quickly and jumped in the shower then. The warm water felt refreshing, but he couldn't relax. He just rinsed off quickly and then got back into his clothing a little damp.

When he opened the bathroom door the exhaustion finally hit him full force. He leaned against the wall for a moment and couldn't help the tired smile that graced his lips. His mother was safe and asleep. Jess was safe and pretending to be asleep…and beautiful.

He made his way back over to Jade to offer to relieve her, but she waved him off before he could open his mouth.

"Get some sleep, kid. I will wake you up in a few hours," she ordered.

He just nodded his thanks and then made his way toward the bed. He was just going to lie on top of the covers, but wanted to be closer to Jess. He tried to get in without jostling the bed too much. He took a deep breath once he was on his back and then angled his body toward her so that he was on his side.

She had her back to him, but he could feel her warmth and that was good enough for him. He was just about close his eyes when he felt her rolling toward him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and gripped his t-shirt tightly. He put his hand behind her back and pulled her flush against him.

"Thank you for letting me keep my promise," he whispered so only she could hear.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind," she mumbled against his collarbone and then kissed it. "But there's no where else I'd rather be."

"Go to sleep beautiful girl."


	28. Halfway Home

AN: It's been a while, but hopefully this makes up for it! A few things to note: 1. My Spanish is rusty so I used Google translate, 2. Still don't own anything and 3. the full version of the chapter is on . Hope you enjoy.

Rachael Quest woke up with a start. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and her ears were thundering with the noise. She immediately looked to the right in response to the sound of a body shuffling and instinctively pulled the covers closer around her body.

"You're safe," Jade whispered. "We're all safe," she reaffirmed. "You've only been asleep for thirty minutes. Try to catch some more."

It probably took five seconds from the moment she woke up to the moment she realized that she really was safe, but it felt like so much longer in her heightened state of fear. She sat up further then and took a few calming breaths while the events of the previous evening came rushing back through her sleepy brain.

Then she looked to the left in search of her son…her little man. The drapes were pulled shut and the room was completely black, except for a small patch of light peeking its way through so Jade could keep an eye on the parking lot. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but the silent and thankful tears came the moment she saw him. His back was to her, but she could watch him take the deep breaths of a peaceful sleep for hours.

With that thought in mind she got out of bed on shaky legs. She shot Jade an appreciative look and then made her way over to the tiny table and chair set in front of her son's bed. He had his arms wrapped protectively around the beautiful redhead she had only met briefly the night before. He basically had his entire body wrapped protectively around her. She found herself feeling unbelievably grateful to this young woman. It was clear that her son was in love.

After watching them for about an hour she found herself amazed. "They are completely in sync," she whispered to herself.

"They always have been," Jade responded without taking her eyes from her post.

When he moved, she moved with him and vice versa. When he took an unsteady breath, her hand unconsciously ran soothing strokes along his neck or chest. When she woke up, she pulled back from his hold only slightly and looked at him like he was the most important thing in the world. It was clear to Rachael that her son's love was very much returned.

Rachael stood up then and it startled Jessie out of her reverie.

"Sorry," Rachael apologized softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Jessie eased her way out of Jonny's embrace, hoping to leave him undisturbed for a few more minutes.

"You didn't," she smiled. "What time is it?" she then asked quietly, looking down to make sure Jonny was still asleep.

"It's only eight-thirty, but we should head out now," Jade responded.

Jessie hesitated slightly, looking down at Jonny again. She didn't want to wake him so soon. She was pretty sure he had not slept in more than two hour increments over the last few days and he was completely exhausted. She wanted to curl back into his arms and stay there for at least another eight hours.

"You're the one that wanted to go home," Jade pointed out dryly.

"I guess saving your life only buys me a few hours reprieve from the bitchy comments," Jessie mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Jade asked.

"I said it would be nice if he could sleep for a few more hours," she sighed quietly, running a hand through his hair, but knowing that Jade was right. "Wake up. Wake up. Wake up," she laughed in a sing song voice, applying more pressure to the hand in his hair.

"Mmm…not funny," he grumbled and turned away.

"That's how I used to wake him up for school when he slept through his alarm," Jessie responded to the curious looks. "He doesn't like it," she giggled and then got to her knees and jumped on top of him.

"Baby," he growled, rolling her off him and then jumping out of bed so she wouldn't pounce on him again. It wasn't graceful and he tripped over the sheets before falling onto the other bed. "Fuck," he grunted, shifting onto his back to try and get his bearings. He could hear clapping in the background.

"Hotshot, I give that a 6.5," Jessie laughed.

"I hate you," he mumbled.

"Well, I love you," Rachael laughed at their interaction.

His mother's voice brought him out of his hazy state and he was upright in a heartbeat. "You're really here," he smiled and then embraced her tightly. "I was afraid it was a dream," he whispered in her ear. He didn't let the hug last long, however. He still had too much to lose and they weren't safe yet. "When can we leave?" he directed at Jade, feeling the adrenaline start to pump.

"We should head there now," Jade responded. "I'd like to go during rush hour in case the roads are being watched. The sooner we leave the better."

"Head where?" Jessie asked.

"Has there been any activity?" he asked Jade, ignoring his girlfriend's question.

"None," she breathed. "I'm sure Grobin is freaking the fuck out by now. I would feel more comfortable if we moved."

"Let's head out in ten," Jonny suggested. He didn't want his mother to be afraid.

"Are we going home?" Jessie asked a little louder.

"No. I have something a bit cooler in mind first," he grinned, hoping to keep things light. He didn't want to fight with her. "I think you will appreciate it actually."

"Where?" she asked again, trying to keep her voice even. "No. You know what? It doesn't matter. Let's go home. Please," she finished quietly.

"I need you to trust me," he breathed patiently, but given his lack of sleep it was difficult. Then he looked at his mother too. "I need you to trust me."

Jessie was never one to give up that easily though. Maybe it was his fault for not properly explaining his reasons to her.

"You're shaking," Jessie tried to tell him quietly, grabbing his forearm. He didn't even realize he was shaking until she said it. "I don't feel safe…" she started, but froze at the look that came across his face.

"I didn't want you to come…," he shot back, but then closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Fuck," he whispered, shaking his head and walking away. He headed straight for Jade, needing a private moment with her.

"You ok?" Jade asked sympathetically.

"Fine," he half-laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Did you get it?" he asked slowly.

"Here you go," she grinned and then showed him a small plastic bag. "It will be ok," she whispered and then leaned in for a hug, deftly slipping the bag into his front pocket.

"Thanks," he told her sincerely.

"Do you want to handle them or should I?" Jade asked, nodding toward his girls. "I will lay down the damn law if they don't get with the program."

"Don't treat them like children," Jonny warned. "It won't go over well."

"Yeah…yeah," she rolled her eyes. "You have five minutes and then I will drag them out," she said dryly. "I'm going to go pull the car up."

Once Jade was out the door, he turned to the girls on the other side of the room and found them in a tight embrace. They were both crying and any anger he felt evaporated. All he wanted to do was protect everyone, but every decision he made was hurting someone he loved.

"Jade is pulling the car around," he announced to get their attention, rubbing the back of his neck again. "Look…I know this situation is not ideal, but I'm doing what I think is best for everyone. I can give you ten reasons off the top of my head as to why it makes sense to wait until tonight before heading back to the Compound, not the least of which is that Grobin will have men watching…"

"Exactly…," Jessie interrupted. "We need to warn them."

"Grobin won't create a scene," Jonny stated patiently. "He will just want to see if anything is out of the ordinary. If we are ruled out as a potential threat to him the Compound will be safer for longer and we will have more time to plan our next move before he circles back."

"You're right," Rachael stated. "That's exactly what he will do," she breathed heavily and then pulled her son into a hug. "I trust you, little man," she whispered in his ear.

"Thank you," he responded in relief, but only let her hold him a moment longer. "Can you give us a moment, Mom? Jade should be right outside."

"Sure," she smiled and then gave Jessie a quick look he could not identify. The moment she began to walk away, however, he was struck with a crippling anxiety that made his chest tighten painfully.

"Wait," he breathed out and then caught up with her quickly. "I'll walk you."

"I think I can manage the four feet from the door to the car," she said patiently, but they were already out the door and he was helping her into the back seat before she could protest again.

"Please keep your head down," he asked. "I'll be right back."

"JONNY," Jade yelled in frustration.

"I said I'll be right back," he snapped, slamming the door and walking away and back into the room before he could hear anything else she had to say.

"I love you," were the first words out of her mouth when they were alone. "…and I trust you. You know that," she finished softly.

He let those words wash over him, but still felt sick to his stomach. "But?" he asked. Jessie just shook her head in confusion.

"You love me, but you don't feel safe with me," he stated bitterly, angling is body away from her so that he had one shoulder leaning against the door. He did not want to throw a pity party for one, but could not just let it go either. "You trust me, but you don't feel safe with me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she interrupted. She tried to grab his shoulder, but he shrugged away. It hurt more than it should have, but she knew they were both being too sensitive. She also knew he was afraid and lashing out at her was the only way he could express that right now. She needed to reassure him. "Just because I want to know what is going on does not mean I don't feel safe with you. I just don't feel safe being in the dark. I'm my father's daughter. What do you expect? You're telling Jade things that you aren't telling me. How do you think that makes me feel?" she asked and then paused because she didn't want to fight. "Didn't I just tell you, barely twenty four hours ago, that I feel so ridiculously safe in every way when I'm with you? It wasn't a lie… just like it wasn't a lie when I let you inside me," she whispered, but could not say anything else because she was afraid of traitorous tears. She was truly sick of the goddamn tears.

He could not have felt worse if he tried. "I love you too. So fucking much," he murmured sincerely and then pulled her into a bone crushing hug. "I love you," he said again, right against her ear. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I did apologize in advance yesterday for the asshole behavior we both knew I would display." That comment elicited a small giggle from her.

"You are not an asshole," she grinned, pulling back and cupping his face gently.

"What...I'm a giant asshole?" he sighed.

"No," she interrupted. "You're the best person I know. You've been put in an impossible situation and I know you're just trying to keep everyone happy. I'm sorry for being difficult. I don't like being in the dark, but I know you will keep me safe and I mean that more than you could ever understand," she finished.

He took a step back then and fished the little plastic bag out of his pocket to show her.

"Oh…baby," she responded quietly when the realization hit her and then she pulled him back into a tight embrace. "Now I'm really sorry for being difficult. I was being stupid and immature because I was jealous of Jade and the lack of sleep didn't help. Please…just tell me what you need."

"A few more hours," he replied, tugging her closer. "Just give me a few more hours and then I _promise_ we will go home. I don't think they are in danger at the Compound. I would call them if I thought that for even a moment. Jade would too."

"I know," she smiled and then pushed past him toward the door. "Now let's go before Jade comes in here and attempts to kick my ass."

"She wouldn't stand a chance in hell," Jonny laughed, turning to follow.

"I said attempt," Jessie responded dryly over her shoulder.

He grabbed her around the waist before she could open the door and pushed her up against it lightly. She whimpered softly at the feel of his hips against hers. "Promise me we will not be sharing a bedroom with anyone else tonight."

"That is a promise I can definitely keep," he chuckled. "And Jade doesn't have a fucking thing on you," he whispered in her ear before opening the door and pushing her through. "Will you ride in the back with my mom and make sure she stays out of sight?"

"Not a problem," she smiled and climbed in the back. Jonny felt a weight lift from his shoulders knowing that she would stop fighting him on every decision.

"Let's go," he told Jade, jumping in the front seat and giving her a look not to make any comments. "You can get some sleep once we're there," he told her. "I know you must be exhausted," he admitted, feeling guilty for giving her attitude.

"We will be there in an hour everyone," Jade announced as they got back on the road.

"Where are we going?" Rachael asked, sparing Jessie from having to do it.

"The Wentworth," Jonny supplied.

"The fancy hotel?" Jessie questioned and Jonny turned in his seat slightly to look at her.

"Yeah…and I got us the honeymoon suite," he winked.

"That's brilliant," Jessie laughed, immediately up to speed with his thought process.

"Sweetheart," his mother interrupted. "I don't think you appreciate Grobin's capabilities. Any record of our names...any credit card transactions...will be tracked."

"Oh…they don't know we're coming," Jessie assured.

"…and they will never know we were there," Jonny finished.

"Explain?" his mother requested.

"It's simple really," Jonny started. "I hacked into the hotel's scheduling system last night. The honeymoon suite was not booked, so the entire top floor should be clear. The maids and other staff will have no reason to even be on that floor. We will sneak in through the service entrance and take the stairs right on up."

"What if someone is on the floor? And how will we get into the room?" she worried.

"I also tapped into the security system," Jonny clarified. "I have a live feed of all cameras on the floor. The delay is minimal. We will know if anyone is around. As for the door, Jade could break into Fort Knox and with my backdoor into their system no alarms will be tripped."

"Where did you learn to do all of this?" she asked in amazement.

"Dad always encouraged me to keep my interests broad," he hedged. "Is there anything else you are worried about?" He wanted to answer any questions he could to assuage her fears.

"I just…what if they find us? Won't we be trapped?" she said more to herself than anyone else. "Can I just talk to your father for five minutes?"

Jonny's throat closed up at the mention of his father and Jessie jumped in for him.

"Calling home would just put them at risk and it would alert Grobin," Jessie rationalized. "If men are watching the Compound it would lead them right to us."

"I can convince him to just wait there for us. I trust you all, but nothing in life is certain. I just want to hear his voice in case…," she broke off.

"Nobody on this planet could convince him to wait," Jessie looked down at the woman crouched next to her. "He would run straight for you. Probably wouldn't even think to take a car because he would only be thinking about getting to you. I know that's true, which is why we need to wait or we will be putting him in danger too."

"Ok. I'm sorry," she gave in with a deep breath. "I want everyone to be as safe as possible."

"It will be alright," Jessie promised with a soothing hand on her shoulder. "If we're not at the Compound with IRIS, the next best place to be is with your son or my father," she added quietly. "Try to rest. Once we can get cleaned up at the hotel, we'll all feel better."

The rest of the ride was silent as everyone kept to their own thoughts.

Jade could not get thoughts of Race out of her head. She was afraid of his reaction once he learned of her involvement and was even more petrified that he would want nothing to do with her. It was hard for her to admit that, even to herself, but being around others that were so obviously in love made it impossible for her to ignore.

Rachael could only think of Benton and could not keep her eyes off her son. She was remembering the last moments she was alone with her husband. It was a memory she pulled on often to help keep her sane.

"_This is too much Benton," she stretched against him lazily and admired the gorgeous master bedroom in the gorgeous hotel suite he had surprised her with from the gorgeous king sized bed that they had just made love in._

_"You are worth it and so much more," he laughed. "I love you, Mrs. Quest."_

_"I love you too, Pooh-Bear," she mumbled into his chest._

_"Do NOT call me that," he laughed again. "You are crazy," he said with love and then began kissing her neck again._

_"Let's not start something we can't finish," she sighed._

_"Oh…I'll finish it," he grinned against her neck, while trying to coax her back into a prone position on the bed._

_"Stop now and put some clothes on," she pushed him off playfully. "I can hear your son coming."_

_"He's your son when he interrupts sex," Benton deadpanned and just stared at her as she threw on a robe and opened the door to greet their rambunctious five- year old who jumped right into her waiting arms._

_"Morning mama. Did you sleep tight?" he asked sweetly._

_"Yes baby," she hugged him close and was convinced that she had never been happier. Her beautiful boy was in her arms and her sexy husband was naked in their bed. "Come help me get breakfast for your father," she kissed him quickly and then winked at Benton before leaving the room._

Sitting in the car nearly thirteen years later, the memory was as clear as if it had been yesterday. 'I love my boys so much,' she thought passionately.

Jonny was totally focused on the little plastic bag in his pocket. He felt like it was practically on fire. He had asked Jade to get a strand of his mother's hair so he could test it against IRIS' records. He knew she was his mother, but he still had a gnawing fear in his gut that this could not be real and that thought had his heart beating wildly.

Then he felt Jessie wrap her arms around his neck lightly from behind. She gave him a soft kiss to the temple and then settled back into her seat and watched his strong jaw as he looked out the window. All she could think about was getting him alone. The heavy stuff was there too, but she did her best to ignore it. Bottom line…if his heart was broken then hers would be too and she would do anything to prevent that.

Everyone's train of thought was broken when Jade pulled up to the service entrance of the hotel. "I'll meet you up there," she announced. "I have to get rid of the car."

"Let's go. Stay close," Jonny told the girls as Jade drove off. He led them stealthily through the hotel laundry room and they were on the top floor before anyone had a chance to worry about being seen.

"Now what?" Rachael asked.

"We wait for Jade," Jonny told her, taking a seat on the floor. "Don't worry. She will be here…"

"The cavalry has arrived," Jade interrupted.

"That was really fast," Jonny commented.

"…and I managed to get breakfast too," Jade smiled, tossing a bag at him that smelled like heaven. "Let's get to work."

Once inside, they all dropped down on the comfortable couches and dug into the breakfast Jade had procured. Jessie finished quickly and then unashamedly curled herself into Jonny's side and watched him eat.

"Jade, I don't know who you stole this breakfast from, but it was worth it," Jonny grunted and then leaned back, rubbing his stomach with one hand and Jessie's hair with the other.

"Stole?" Rachael asked guiltily.

"Eating a stolen breakfast is a Quest family tradition?" Jessie laughed.

"Don't scare my mother please," Jonny pleaded. "I don't want her thinking I'm a degenerate."

"Oh…hardly," Jessie sighed and looked straight at Rachael. "He was ten and it was for a good cause then too."

"Now I have to hear this story," Rachael perked up.

"Don't you guys want to clean up and get some rest?" Jonny asked. "It's been a long night."

"I want to hear it now too," Jade offered and received an exasperated look from Jonny.

Jessie got a huge smile on her face before starting. This was one of her favorite memories. "We were in Bangalore for an IT conference that Dr. Quest was scheduled to speak at. We did some sightseeing when Dr. Quest was free, but our dads were hell bent on keeping Jonny and I in the hotel otherwise. They didn't think it was safe for us to be out and about without two able bodied adults to watch us since we tended to get in trouble…every now and then. Anyways, it didn't go over too well with us to be kept cooped up so we may have taken advantage of our babysitter one day when our dads were at the conference. We snuck out as soon as they left and made our way over to the markets."

"Oh my God," Rachael reprimanded.

"It was one of our better reckless decisions. Trust me," Jonny laughed. "In retrospect though, it was dumb to plan a secret trip to the market without figuring out how to get our hands on some cash first."

"The streets were a little crazy and crowded, but they were filled with the most interesting people," Jessie continued. "We wondered around for about an hour before getting into any trouble, but then it found us. We were hanging out by a fruit cart listening to an old lady tell a story to a few children. I can't remember what it was about, but I remember being fascinated. Anyway, I'm standing there listening when I see out of the corner of my eye that Jonny is distracted. So I look over and there are these two little kids…clearly hungry and homeless…about to steal some food from the cart, which is obviously something you don't want to be caught doing in India. So Jonny realizes that they are about to be caught and he decides to grab a handful of fruit right in front of the cart owner and takes off at a mad dash with this guy five times his size running after him and screaming in Hindi that he's gonna chop his hand off once he catches him," she laughed.

"What did you do?" Rachael asked in alarm.

"What I always do," she shrugged. "I followed the idiot to try and keep him out of trouble. This big guy was persistent too. He just kept coming after us. I was actually starting to get really worried when we heard a young voice from an alleyway calling out for us to follow. We were able to slip in without being seen and then he led us through a few alleys and into an abandoned store where he and the two little kids we saw at the market were hiding. We all enjoyed a good laugh and shared a nice meal. Our dads were not happy though. I think we were grounded for a few months for that stunt."

"That was very reckless, sweetheart. You could have been hurt."

"Maybe," Jonny grinned. "…but I never would have met my brother if it hadn't happened, so I'd do it all over again."

"How many more stories like this do I need to brace myself for?" she asked with mild concern.

"How much time do you have?" Jessie quipped, looking lovingly at her boyfriend.

"Oh dear," Rachael smiled. "Jessie, please make sure I have a drink in my hand when we sit down so you can fill me in on the last thirteen years."

"Hey," Jonny interrupted. "I think I should be the one to fill you in."

"You will and then I will get the _full _version from Jessie," Rachael told him straight out.

"Shit," Jonny sighed, laying his head back on the couch and turning toward Jess. "Be gentle with me," he pleaded.

"I promise," she smiled and then got up from the couch as some indecent thoughts entered her head space. "You should get some more sleep, Jonny. I can take the first watch."

"I'm too wired to sleep," he told her. "I would feel better if you guys got some rest though, especially you Jade."

"No argument from me," Jade yawned. "I trust you to hold the fort down. Call me if you need anything. Otherwise, I will relieve you in a few hours. What time do you want to head to the Compound?"

"It's ten-thirty now," Jonny said looking at his watch. "I think we should start back around five. That way we will have the cover of dark. If we wait too much longer, I'm afraid our dads will raise the red flag."

"That's a guarantee," Jessie stated. "Especially since our phones are off."

"We'll be back before they can freak out," Jonny deflected. "Go get some rest. You too, mom. I'm honestly fine."

"Ok," Jessie agreed. "Just promise you'll wake me up if you change your mind."

"Ace, I promise," he swore with a wink.

She leaned down then to kiss him on the cheek and whisper something in his ear before heading to one of the empty bedrooms. Rachael couldn't hear what she said, but the softest and most content smile graced her son's face. His eyes didn't leave Jessie until she was safe behind closed doors.

"Mom…sleep," Jonny interrupted her thoughts. "I will be here when you wake up."

"I know that… I do," she sighed. "…but if I have learned nothing else over the last decade, I've learned that you can't take any time for granted. It's so simple and so cliché, but most people still take it for granted anyway."

"Ok," her son smiled. "Ask me anything, but then you need to rest. Deal?"

"I can only pick one thing?" she scoffed and he just nodded. "Fine…how did you and Jessie fall in love?"

He laughed outright. "That is an unfair question. I would have to tell you my entire life story to answer that properly."

"I know," she grinned.

"Mom, come on," he implored and it warmed her heart. "Can we start with something a little easier?"

"Ok," she thought for a moment. "How did you get that scar above your eye?"

"How did you even notice that? It's so small. Never mind…you're a mom…you see all. Well, I'm glad you didn't ask Jess that one anyway. She hates this story and would probably not talk to me again for a few days on principle if she had to hear it again," he said and took a quick look at the closed bedroom door she had retreated behind.

"No edits," his mother insisted.

Jonny took a deep breath before starting. "A few weeks after Jessie's sixteenth birthday she went on her first real date," emphasizing 'real date' in air quotes.

"What's with the air quotes?" his mom interrupted.

"This fucktard took her to McDonalds for dinner and then a walk on the beach. It does not count as a first date if you spend under ten dollars. That's bullshit," he said a little heatedly.

"Sounds like you're jealous that it wasn't you," she teased.

"That is beside the point. I absolutely would have done so much better, but that is beside the point. I mean McDonalds…really? The guy's father was the second richest guy in town and he drove a fucking Porsche. He could have given her more than that. Anyway, I had only planned to see where he was taking her and then I was gonna head home, but…"

"You followed her on her first date?" his mom interrupted with an incredulous tone.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "…but I had the full support of our fathers. They didn't like the guy when he came to pick her up either. Anyway, I had only planned to see where he was taking her and then I was gonna head home, but once I saw McDonalds I knew something was up. I almost beat the shit out of the guy right there when I saw her face as she got out of the car. She was so disappointed. It still makes me angry when I think about it. I followed them on the beach after. You know…there was some… kissing going on. If you could even call it that…the guy basically looked like he was trying to eat her face. She pushed him away after a few moments, but he kept trying to start it up again and then he said some pretty mean things when she didn't let him. I wasn't going to intervene…I really wasn't because I knew she could take care of the guy easily if he pissed her off enough, but I guess I just got pissed off faster. I barely even remember it. Not my proudest moment. I went off the guy. He got in one cheap shot," Jonny sighed, pointing to his head. "…but that was it. I think he was embarrassed that a freshman kicked the shit out of him so he never told anyone what happened and he kept Jess' name out of his mouth after that. She didn't speak to me for almost a month afterwards though. Not a word. I guess I deserved it, but it still hurt like hell."

"Jonny," his mother sighed.

"I know. I know. It was dumb and immature. Jess managed to read me the riot act before starting the silent treatment," he remembered. "All I can say is that I was fifteen and I loved her…more than I had ever loved anything else and she was with this guy who didn't really care at all…he was just this older guy that was trying to take advantage of her. He had no clue how amazing she was…is… I didn't know how to tell her, so I just reacted. I guess it's just part of our crazy story now," he laughed. "I can't say I regret it. I don't. She deserved better and I'm gonna make sure that she gets every bit of it."

"I don't doubt that," his mother smiled and then yawned.

"Sleep," he ordered, getting up and helping her to her room. She gave him a long hug at the door to her bedroom. "You remind me so much of your father," she smiled as she entered the room. "He would have done something completely idiotic like that for me too."

"Then I'm in good company," Jonny replied. "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, little man."

Once alone, Jonny took a deep breath and tried to stay awake. He tried to keep his mind out of certain danger zones, but it wasn't easy. He settled on thinking about Jessie. Telling his mom about his scar reminded him of how hard he had to work to get her to talk to him again.

"_Jessie...come on. Don't you think this has gone on long enough," he pleaded. He had tried apologizing. He had tried making her laugh. He had even tried giving her space, but almost four weeks in and she still wasn't even acknowledging his presence. Clearly pleading was not going to work either. He knew he only had one option left…_

_"You called me immature, but what do you call this?" he taunted. "You're acting ridiculous."_

_"YOU WERE SPYING ON ME?" she seethed._

_It took him a moment to respond because he was so surprised to hear her voice. "I don't see it that way."_

_"How would you feel if I did that to you?" she asked._

_"You think I wouldn't enjoy a girl fight over me?" he laughed._

_"GET OUT," she yelled. "Get out of my room, right now."_

_"I didn't mean that…Fuck," he sighed. "I'm an idiot. Ok. I'm a fucking jerk. I was only trying to protect you though. He was too old for you and…"_

_"Don't you think my father would have forbidden me to go if he thought that…"_

_"Who do you think sent me to follow you?"_

_"I would expect that asinine behavior from him, but not you. I thought you respected me more than that…," she broke off._

_"Do you have ANY idea what that guy was saying about you behind your back? He told the entire locker room what he was planning to do with you on several occasions and I didn't start anything. And you were hardly the first girl he said those things about. I didn't tell Race and I didn't tell you. Do you have any fucking concept how hard that was for me?"_

_"Why didn't you?" she asked a little softer._

_"Because I didn't want your first date to be ruined. You were so excited," he sighed. "And I knew you would think I was just being over protective. I knew you wouldn't listen. I was hoping the asshole was just saying all of that to sound cool and that he really saw how amazing you are and would actually treat you like you deserved. Don't be mad at your dad. I would have followed you either way to make sure. I know you can take care of yourself, but he is twice your size. I couldn't just turn a blind eye to the things he was saying and assume he wouldn't try anything. I was only going to see where he took you, but when I saw where it just didn't feel right," he paused and saw that she was trying to fight back tears._

_"Why did you even let him touch you?" Jonny asked. "I'm sorry…that is none of my business. Just…you are not like other girls…and that is a good thing. Please don't try to be. You are so much…so much more than they could ever be. You deserve a man who knows that."_

_She just stared at him for a while after that._

_"Can we please make up now?" he reverted back to pleading. "I miss you."_

Jonny could not help but smile at the memory now. It made him realize how much he loved her passion…even if it was being channeled through anger at him.

"What is that smile for?" Jade interrupted his thoughts.

"Nothing…just trying to keep awake," he responded heavily. "Are you sure you don't need more time? I will have no problem keeping watch a few more hours."

"I know, but a two hour cat nap is all I need to feel refreshed. I suggest you do the same. I will be waking you up before you know it," she grinned.

"Thanks Jade…for everything." She just gave a light nod in response.

Jonny headed straight for the room where Jess was sleeping and shut the door quietly behind him. She was curled up against a pillow fast asleep and he was honestly a little jealous of the pillow.

He knew he needed to sleep, but his mind was still going a mile a minute. 'Maybe a hot shower will help,' he thought.

He felt immensely better after a few minutes under the spray. "Fuck, I need one of these fancy hotel shower heads," he mumbled with a smile, bracing himself against the wall and closing his eyes to focus on the sound of the water pounding all around him. He was half asleep when he heard it.

"Want some company, Hotshot?" she asked softly.

"I always want you," he responded without even opening his eyes.

She jumped inside in front of him then and slipped her arms around his neck, watching him as he relaxed under the stream. 'I love him,' she thought passionately and the wave of emotion that washed over her was tangible.

"Te quiero, nena. Tú eres todo para mí," she whispered in his ear and moaned softly when she felt his hands grip her hips and pull her closer.

"Christ," he sighed once they were both satisfied and slick with sweat and water. "I fucking love you," he laughed, sinking to the floor with her on top of him.

"I love you too," she grinned, pushing herself up slightly to hover above him.

"I really…really love you. I am the luckiest bastard alive that I get to hold you right now and I know it," he swallowed noticeably. "Am I making any sense? You just make everything better by being there."

"Completely," she smiled a little choked up. "I know exactly how you feel. You are just so much better at making it sound beautiful and romantic," she sighed and rested her head over his heart. "I know I'm not always the best at expressing how I feel. Just know that you…are everything. Nothing is more important to me than you. Nothing."

"I want to take you out when this is all settled," he declared, pushing the hair out of her face. "On a proper first date. I should have been the one to take you on your first date."

"You'll be the first date that matters," she breathed out quietly.

"Pouring our hearts out on a cold bathroom floor," he commented after a few minutes of just holding each other and lazily stroking her hair. "We are weird."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," she started and then made a move to get up and hand him a towel. "…but let's get to bed. I want you to have more than two hours of sleep in a row…I know that's a crazy concept, but it's happening whether you like it or not," she ordered.

"Yes," he kissed the top of her head and then threw on a pair of boxers and headed for the bed.

Once she was spooned in his arms, he started to drift immediately. "I can't wait to be home," he mumbled into her hair sleepily. "In my own bed…with you," he finished.

"Don't get me started," she shifted uncomfortably. "Because you can't finish right now…and that is not a challenge," she quickly added.

"Mmm..," was the only response she got and then he was down for the count, leaving her to contemplate his words.


	29. Home

**AN: So yeah...it's been a while. Hopefully, I have not lost the voice of the characters or confused the timeline too much since so much time has passed. Sorry for errors. I should really get a beta.**

The first thing Jessie did when she woke up was look at the clock. The second thing she did was close her eyes again and focus on the feeling of Jonny's arms around her. She could tell by the movement of his chest against her back and his soft breaths on her neck that he was still asleep. She felt a little overheated trapped between his body and the heavy hotel comforter, but refused to move.

Instead, she let her mind wander and could not help but imagine the reunion of the Quest family. It brought an uncontrollable smile to her face. She was so grateful that she would never have to feel her heart break for Jonny again because he was sad about his mother.

She felt totally content and happy in his arms, despite their circumstances. She was beginning to lose count of the times that feeling had overwhelmed her in the last few days. She knew in that moment, with a greater certainty than ever before, that her love for him was not negotiable.

'If this is the feeling Dr. Quest has been missing all this time, I don't know how he did it,' she thought compassionately. Even though Rachael was separated from her family, at least she knew they were alive and safe. Dr. Quest did not have that comfort.

Jessie was happy when she began to hear the rain and wind pound roughly against their window. She was so relaxed in Jonny's embrace that concentrating on the beating sound was the only thing keeping her from being pulled back into sleep. Although, replaying the time they had spent together in the shower a few hours prior helped a lot too. Another hour passed before he moved a muscle or made a noise.

"Jess," he exhaled sharply and then she felt his head drop to her shoulder. It was dripping with sweat and that was when she noticed his arms were very damp also.

"Babe?" she called out softly. "Let's get out from under these covers. I love you, but you are so gross right now," she laughed.

His grip did not let up at her words and that was when she realized he was still asleep. "Shit," she mumbled to herself, knowing that she should have expected the stress and lack of sleep over the last few days would have caused him to have a nightmare.

She pulled herself from his arms then and he rolled away easily. "Wake up," she whispered and cradled the side of his face. She was hoping to do this quietly and without alerting Jade or his mother. "Jonny, wake up," she said again, this time pinching his cheek.

That caused him to spring up abruptly and scan the room wildly. He had a look of pure fear in his eyes before realizing where he was and pulling Jessie onto his lap and into a vice grip. She eventually managed to turn in his arms enough to wrap herself around him completely, but he did not make it easy. He gave her no space… not that she was complaining. She just held him patiently and waited for him to start talking or for his heartbeat to slow down, neither of which was happening fast.

"Everyone is safe," she breathed into his ear. "You've kept us all safe," she reassured.

The entire exchange was less than five minutes, but it felt like much longer to both of them.

"Sorry," he murmured, dropping back onto the bed with her still perched on top of him. She shifted slightly forward to still the hands he was running through his hair and over his face.

"Don't apologize. I love taking care of you," she told him sweetly, sitting back only once she had his full attention.

"Ditto," he responded with a lopsided grin, finally focusing his eyes upon her and then pulling her down for a quick kiss. "You are so beautiful," he sighed, planting his hands firmly on her hips and appreciating the view of her in his t-shirt. He did not remember her putting it on before they went to sleep, but he was glad that she did.

"Don't start," she laughed.

He was about to object when he noticed his mother quietly stick her head into the room. A few things happened in rapid succession after that. Jessie immediately noticed his distraction and jumped off of him in embarrassment. His mother apologized profusely for not knocking and all but ran from the room and Jonny found it all very entertaining and began laughing loudly.

"Oh my God…Oh my God…Oh my God," Jessie muffled into her pillow. "Stop laughing," she whispered fiercely, sitting up on her knees and slapping his chest. "That was mortifying."

"We weren't even doing anything…" Jonny rationalized.

"I was _straddling _you…we are _half _dressed… and _you_ are all sweaty…Oh my God," she interrupted herself and then her shoulders sagged. "This is not the first impression I want to be making."

"She already loves you," he smiled.

"How…"

"I know," he cut in. "Besides, you helped save her life. I think that cuts you some extra slack. Now come here, sugar bum."

"No way," she shook her head.

"Well… they obviously aren't gonna come back in here without express permission _now_, so we might as well take advantage," he teased and raised his eyebrows.

"Not happening," she shot him down and then headed for the bathroom. He allowed himself to start laughing again once the door was shut, but then she popped back out without warning.

"And _never _call me sugar bum again," she announced and was gone again before he could respond.

He thought about getting up to reassure his mother or to talk to Jade, but felt a stronger pull to stay in the little bubble he and Jess had created in this room.

When she finally came out of the bathroom, she was clearly still distracted and he was still amused. 'This is the best distraction,' he thought. 'She is so cute.'

"Stop stressing," he ordered. "It does no one any good and it's not even necessary. Unfortunately, we weren't even doing anything scandalous."

"Mmm," she acknowledged and then curled back into his arms on the bed. "I just want her to like me."

"She sees how happy you make me," he noted. "That's all that matters to her."

"Tell me about your dream," she interjected with a change of subject.

"Now _that_ is not something that matters," he tried to shut her down.

"Jonny…"

"Please?" he asked. "You know my dreams are stress induced. This is obviously a stressful situation so it's not newsworthy or even worth thinking about."

"Don't you think talking about it will make you feel better?" she asked softly.

"Talking about losing you does not relieve my stress," he raised his voice and then took a moment to collect himself. "Holding you…that makes me feel better," he sighed. "I told you last night…you make everything better by just being there."

"I thought that was just sex haze talk," she teased to lighten the mood.

"One part amazing shower sex haze and three parts straight from the heart," he smiled. "I love you, Ace."

"I love you too."

"We need to get the rest of this day started," he grumbled into her hair.

"Nooo," she said quietly into his chest. Her mind immediately went back to what his mother had walked in on earlier.

"I'm opening the drapes," he warned, pulling away from her and allowing what little light of the day remained into their room. "Come on," he extended his hand. She accepted slowly and then got dressed even slower. She eventually let him pull her into the common room.

She decided that acting like nothing had happened would be the least painful route. She suspected that she may be overreacting, but it was hard to shut off the feelings.

"Lovebirds," Jade announced loudly as they approached. "Finally coming up for air?"

"We WERE NOT doing anything," Jessie yelled. 'So much for staying cool,' she thought. "We were just talking."

"Jade knows that," Jonny interrupted. "She's just trying to get under your skin. Don't let her," he said coolly, sitting across from Jade and pulling Jess down next to him.

"What?" Jade smiled innocently at Jonny, which made Jessie want to rip her hair out even more.

"Sweetie, don't even worry about it," Rachael directed at Jessie. "Benton's mother walked in on us once and we were _definitely_ doing something."

"MOM," Jonny yelled and jumped up from the couch. "What the hell? I don't want to know that. Jesus Christ." Jessie's laughter in the background did not help.

"Give me a break," she waved him off. "It's the circle of life."

"That doesn't mean we need to discuss it so openly," he shot back.

"There is no need to be embarrassed…."

"I'm not embarrassed," he interrupted. "I'm just a little grossed out and quite frankly wish that we had been doing something fun. At least that would make this awkward conversation worth it. I had a nightmare, ok? They get a little intense sometimes… she was just trying to calm me down. Fuck."

Jessie was shocked that he admitted that out loud, especially in front of Jade, but didn't say anything because she knew he would not want to get into details. Instead, she tried to refocus the conversation. "Are we ready to leave?"

"Definitely," Jonny piped in and focused, once again, on his greatest distraction. "I need to get you home before your father forbids me from seeing you ever again."

"Like that would happen," she scoffed.

"He is the one person in the world that scares me," Jonny shot back.

"Well, I'm not afraid of him…so don't worry so much," she smiled. "Let's go," she then said with excitement and made her way toward the door.

Jade followed Jessie out of the room and shot Jonny an amused look. "Shut up," he whispered as she walked by and that just made her laugh outright.

He held back for a moment to wait for his mother.

"I'm sorry," they said simultaneously.

"It's fine," Jonny laughed. "I'm still sleep deprived. I'm much less reasonable on no sleep."

"And these dreams?" she started.

"Same," he shut her down quickly. "It's just the lack of sleep. It happens like clockwork. Honestly, no need to worry."

"Alright," she grinned and he was happy that she let it go.

"Ready to go home," he then asked quietly and it brought tears to her eyes.

"Lead the way," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once they were huddled by a service entrance waiting for Jade to get the car, Jessie realized that she and Jonny had never discussed how they were going to get past IRIS and check his mother's hair against the sample on file without alerting the entire household of their arrival. However, he didn't seem worried at all when she looked over to gauge his state of mind, so she assumed that he had it under control.

A few moments later, she felt him wrap his arms around her from the behind. The warmth that immediately spread through her body felt amazing. "Where's your thermal?" he asked. "You're shivering." She had not noticed the cold until he brought it up.

"In the car probably," she responded, leaning back against him and letting him rub her bare arms.

"You can have mine, if not," he told her. "We should head back into the Compound the same way we left, so we will be outside for a few miles."

"We can't go in the front?" his mother asked.

"I don't want to risk it in case Grobin is watching," he hedged, which was only half true. "Plus, I'd honestly like to give Pop a heads up in person first. He has no idea what's going on and I want to make sure he understands this is for real."

"That makes sense," his mother nodded. "You're such a good boy… I can't wait to see him," she then whispered to herself with eyes closed.

The devotion in her voice made Jessie's heart flutter and it made her turn in Jonny's arms to burrow as close to him as possible. 'I love you,' she thought and then received a quick kiss on her ear in response as if he had heard her.

It was not long before Jade's arrival interrupted the moment, but the interruption was not unwelcome. They were all ready to go home. Jonny quickly helped his mother and Jessie into the back seat and then ran around to the front to sit with Jade.

"You ready for this?" Jade asked him as they got on their way.

"I feel like I've been ready my whole life," he grinned and then sat back to enjoy the ride.

His mind immediately wandered to the last truly good and clear memory he had of the three of them together. His parents were sitting on the front porch of the Florida Compound when he ran out to greet them. They were on the porch swing that was too high for him to climb on himself so his father reached down and pulled him up across both their laps.

"_What are you up to, little man?" his mother asked._

"_I'm not little," he argued._

"_I don't know," his father teased, placing him back on the ground. "I don't think you can get back up here yourself. A big boy could."_

"_Daddy…come on. I can do it," he laughed, running to the other end of the porch and then turning around to hurl himself at full speed back toward them. He jumped up when he was about three feet away and would have fallen a foot short, but his dad caught him. "See...I did it," he giggled, as they both tickled him._

"_Yes you did," his mother cooed and then gave him butterfly kisses. "I think he deserves a big boy present, Benton." _

"_Yes," Jonny yelled excitedly. "What is it, mama?"_

"_Are you sure he's ready?" Benton teased._

"_I'm ready," Jonny interrupted excitedly._

"_Go take a look in the kitchen," his mother whispered in his ear and Jonny quickly jumped off his parents' laps to head back in the house. When he arrived to the kitchen table, he looked around anxiously for a wrapped present. He jumped up as high as he could to see if there was something on the counter and was about to call for his mom again when he heard a noise in the pantry._

"_Puppy!" he yelled upon opening the door. "MOM! DAD! We have a baby dog!"_

"_Don't scream," his mother told him softly and knelt down beside him. "And be gentle, sweetie. He's just a baby. You don't want to hurt him."_

"_I won't hurt him," Jonny whispered and then cradled the small pup. "I love him."_

"_Are you going to help me take care of him?" his father asked and Jonny nodded vigorously never taking his eyes off his new friend. "What should we name him, son?"_

Once they reached the edge of the Compound, Jonny felt the adrenaline kick in and he couldn't wait to get to the lighthouse. He tried to keep a moderate pace, but quickly found his way in front of the group. He wasn't sure how long they were walking, but it felt too long…like one of those nightmares where you can't get where you need to be no matter how hard you try and your legs feel extremely heavy.

"Hotshot…slow down," Jess called out and jogged a little to catch up with him.

"Sorry…anxious," was all he said.

"So I have to ask," she hesitated. "You're not concerned at all about the troops descending upon us at any second?"

"Nah," he grinned. "I've gotten pretty good at manipulating IRIS to my advantage. Everyone is in the main house right now."

"You'll have to spread that wealth," she acknowledged.

"Not a chance. Trade secret," he shook his head.

"Fine…but how ever will I sneak into your room at night undetected?" she joked. "I guess you'll have to continue sleeping alone…"

"Fuck that… I'm sure we can come to an understanding, baby."

His response made her laugh out loud and push him aside playfully. "Seriously, how are you?" He sobered at her question and grabbed her hand as the lighthouse finally came into his eye line.

"Come in there with me?" he whispered and then felt the soft squeeze of her hand.

"Yeah…let's go. We have a family Christmas to get home to," and she pulled him along the path that led to the back door.

"Mom, Jade…just give us five minutes. I want to figure out where everyone is," he informed them and entered without looking back. His heart was thundering in his ears as he took the steps two at a time. He could hear Jessie's footsteps behind him, which offered a little comfort.

"Is it really possible to do this in five minutes?" Jessie asked.

"Of course….this is my dad's lab. Besides, I've been helping him a lot in here lately since you and Hadj have been gone," he breathed as he set to work. "I know my way around."

"You've never mentioned this," she was surprised, but pleasantly. Watching him concentrate and work like this was something she found very attractive. 'You find everything he does attractive,' she rolled her eyes at herself.

"My dad has several files saved on the mainframe about my mom…pictures, emails…DNA sample. I came across it randomly, but it will make this pretty easy…" he trailed off distractedly.

"Jonny!"

"One second…," he held up a finger. "Ok. It just needs a few minutes."

"You went through your dad's private files?" she accused.

"I came across it by accident and I honestly couldn't help myself," he at least looked sheepish. "He never talks about her. I was so curious."

"Come here," she ordered and then wrapped her arms around him tightly. They swayed back and forth slowly, but he could only focus on the screen as he waited for the confirmation.

Jessie felt his entire body sag in relief a few moments later and felt his lips turn into a smile against her ear. "Let's go home."

They raced down the stairs in excitement and were quickly rejoined with the rest of their group. Jonny asked the girls to keep close and follow him. He knew that one person was in the kitchen, which he assumed was Mrs. Evans, and that four more people were in the family room. If they entered through the garage he would be able to hide his mother and speak to his father in private for a moments. As they ran across the lawn, he fleetingly wondered who the fourth person was, but a sinking feeling in his chest told him that he already knew. 'Hopefully, Estella will wait until I can speak with my father before laying into me,' he thought wryly. His breath hitched once they were safe inside the garage.

"Ok. Mom, please wait here for a few minutes. I'm gonna go speak with dad and then I'll be right back," he grinned, grabbing Jessie's hand and making his way toward the door. "…and Jade, please don't sneak off?" he asked and gave her a pointed look. "At least stay the night so I know you're safe. We need to come up with a game plan tomorrow to make sure everyone stays that way and your input would be invaluable."

"I promise," she said begrudgingly.

As Jonny and Jessie made their way through the kitchen, smiling at Mrs. Evans' slightly disapproving glare in the process, the unmistakable sound of an argument was traveling throughout the house.

"How much trouble am I in?" Jonny hedged.

"THIS BEHAVIOUR IS UNACCEPTABLE. HOW COULD YOU LET IT COME TO THIS," they were interrupted by Estella's screeching from the other room. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE."

"WHAT WILL THAT SOLVE?" Race yelled back. "THEY ARE ADULTS."

"THEY ARE CHILDREN…CHILDREN WHO THINK THEY ARE IN LOVE."

"NOT IN THE EYES OF THE LAW. IF YOU CALL THE COPS, THEY WILL JUST LAUGH AT YOU."

"I'M NOT JUST GOING TO STAND AROUND WHILE THAT MISCREANT IS OFF DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT WITH MY DAUGHTER…"

"EXCUSE ME," Benton then boomed. "That is my son you're talking about."

"Jonny said they would be back for dinner," Hadji jumped in rationally. "Perhaps we should just wait and see…well hello my friends," he switched gears and smiled when he spotted his friends in the entryway holding hands.

"Where the hell have you been?" Race tried to ask patiently. "…and why are you dressed like that?"

"I owe you a serious apology, Race. I also owe you a long explanation, but I need to speak with my dad in private first. Pop, please. Can we talk alone?" Jonny asked.

"Let's go. You owe me a long conversation too," Benton replied and started walking toward his study.

"Good luck with the firing squad," Jonny whispered to his girlfriend and then turned to follow his father.

"Hey Hotshot," she spun around to catch his attention. "It was worth it," and she gave him a smile that would light up three rooms.

"This is over," Estella whispered fiercely.

"Mom," Jessie sighed in exasperation. "It will all make sense in a few minutes. Just please be patient for once."

"Don't be misguided, sweetheart," she tried to start again in a soothing voice, hoping it would help her cause. "I love you more than my life and I just want better for you. Have no illusions that the choices you make now can change your entire future."

"I know where you are going with this and you are wasting your time," Jessie interrupted. "Jonny and I did not run off to a motel room for the day to accidentally make you a grandmother," she stated bluntly. "You are SO off base. Don't worry… I will not be making the same mistakes as you."

"Don't speak to me that way," she threatened. "I am just looking out for your interests. You are supposed to be with a man that makes you better… a man that challenges you and respects you."

"That sounds like Jonny to me," Jade interrupted from the doorway with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Where's…" Jessie started with worry, but Jade cut her off sharply.

"She's fine…got tired of waiting. SO…how's everyone doing?" Jade asked too sweetly and did everything she could to avoid eye contact with Race.

"What the fuck is going on, Jess? NOW!" Race demanded. He was done trying to be the patient parent. "What did you get my kids into?" he turned on Jade before Jessie could answer.

"DAD…it's not her fault," Jessie defended and the whole room turned to her in shock. "She was helping…in her way anyhow," she had to add because she was still pissed about the way Jade had handled everything. The ends did not justify the means in her mind since the means hurt Jonny.

"What is not her fault?" Race asked behind gritted teeth.

"Dad…," Jessie smiled. "I know this is gonna sound crazy, but Rachael Quest is alive, well and currently heading toward Dr. Quest's study."

"Jessie," Race started. "Wait…what?"

"She's alive," she choked up. "That's where we were. It's a long story and we didn't want to say anything until it was confirmed."

"Start talking," Race ordered.

* * *

"Son, I have done my best to be patient with you the last few months. I know it can't be easy for you to be without Jessie and Hadji for such long periods for the first time, but your behavior has become unacceptable and disrespectful. I know you love Jessie, but the two of you can't be running off. You have to think about how your actions affect other members of this family."

"I know. I'm sorry…from the bottom of my heart and I plan to tell Race the same thing," Jonny started. "…but that's not what I need to talk about. Jess and I did not sneak off to be alone. It's not like that at all…"

"Race told me about… what happened between you and Jessie…," Benton tried to express, using some odd hand motions.

"Sex…Pop," Jonny interrupted impatiently and then sat down. "Look…I promise you that we were careful and…and I will talk to you about this at length tomorrow if you really think it's necessary, but that's not why I'm here. Please sit."

"What's happened?" he sobered.

"I'm going to tell you something and I need you to understand that it is real. I would never joke about this and I would never even think about saying it to you unless I was completely sure, ok?" His father just nodded in response, but remained standing.

Benton's heart began to thunder in his ears at Jonny's serious tone and the sinking feeling that was currently creeping into his stomach was not something he would wish upon any parent.

'Just spit it out,' Jonny told himself. 'There is no way to ease into this.'

"Dad…Mom is alive and I found her," he whispered. "She's alright," he rushed out. "She's here. She's…Pop?" Jonny asked and then jumped up to go to him. The look in his eyes was disturbing and Jonny realized that he wasn't breathing. "Dad?" Jonny urged, shaking him.

Benton's mind began racing the moment those words left his son's lips, but he could not get his body to cooperate. All he could think about was getting to his lab, but his legs were moving too slowly.

"I have to get to the lab," he responded disjointedly. "I'm in the middle…"

"DAD," Jonny yelled. "Did you hear what I said? Mom's…"

"Shut up… just shut up right now. DON'T…talk about my wife," he breathed out. Jonny felt like he was looking at a stranger. The immediate shift in his father's demeanor was worrisome and out of character. It was like he regressed twelve years in a few seconds and Jonny finally fully understood in that moment how much his father loved his mother and why he would never talk about her. His reaction was visceral and gut wrenching to witness even after all the years that had passed. "I have to get to my lab," he whispered forcefully, finding his legs and pushing past his son roughly.

Benton went ashen again, however, when he was met in the doorway by his dead wife. "This is not real…this is not real," he began to chant to himself, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths through his nose.

"Dad…," Jonny started again, but was interrupted by his mother's quiet plea.

"Let me, sweetheart."

A loud voice inside Jonny's head was telling him that his parents deserved this moment in private, but he could not make himself leave. He wanted to be there when his father realized the truth. He was also a little afraid that his dad might lash out again and unintentionally hurt himself or his mother.

"Benton," she whispered so softly and full of relief. "It's me, pooh-Bear. I'm home. I missed you… EVERY moment," her voice cracked and then she tentatively reached a hand up to caress his face. When she touched him, he made an indescribable noise and then pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"This is not real," he continued to chant. "...but you feel so real and I'm not letting go. Never letting go again," he mumbled.

"Benton?" she prompted after a few minutes passed in each others arms. He was clinging to her like a life raft, but still had not given any indication that he understood. "I love you. We have so much to talk about," she became teary-eyed, but recovered quickly. "…that's for later though, when we're alone. For now, I need you to know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere… not for the rest of your life. Oh…and our amazing son made me take a DNA test before he'd even let me anywhere near you," she added with a laugh and a knowing look at Jonny over her husband's shoulder. "He loves you as much as I do. Benton?" she pushed again.

"You know I hate it when you call me pooh-Bear," he grumbled into her neck just loud enough for Jonny to hear and start laughing loudly. The next thing he knew, all three of them were laughing and embracing. It was surreal, but still perfect.

"How…" Benton started, but could not find the words to finish when clear eyes finally met his wife's. "I LOVE you," he announced loudly. "I love you so much."

"I'll give you guys a moment," Jonny cleared his throat. "I'm sure the others are about ready to track us down so I'll head them off. Take your time," he smiled and then left the room quickly. He leaned back against the closed door for a moment to catch his breath and take stock. He did it. He kept them both safe and now they were all together for Christmas. Witnessing his parents' reunion gave him the overwhelming urge to be back with Jessie, even if it meant dealing with her mother. With that in mind, he walked quickly back toward the living room.

Jessie was in the middle of explaining their absence when he walked into the room and she stopped abruptly to run into his arms. "How was it?" she whispered in his ear. He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing felt sufficient enough to explain how he was feeling. Instead he buried his face in her neck and she smiled when she felt his smile against her skin.

"I love you," he said loud enough for everyone to hear and then started laughing because he was afraid he would cry otherwise.

"Jonny," his brother walked up to him shaking his head all the way, but with a smile on his face. Jonny just pulled him into their embrace and kept laughing.

"This is the best day of my life," he then pulled back with a grin. "My brother, my best friend… my mother," he trailed off in disbelief. As quickly as his smile came, however, it fell and his breathing picked up noticeably.

"What's wrong?" Jessie asked with concern, placing a hand over his chest. "Your heart is going a mile a minute."

"Nothing," he insisted, pulling away from his friends. "Race, can we talk? I need your help with IRIS."

"Let's go," Race responded gruffly and began following Jonny from the room. He was still confused as hell and hoped that Jonny could make him understand.

"Jade, I could use your input too," Jonny stated.

"Gladly," she jumped up from the couch and left the room quickly.

"I think I will let the two of you catch up," Hadji then piped in with only Jessie and Estella left in the room. "A few minutes of meditating would serve me well before we eat."

"Hadj, I may need a witness," Jessie deadpanned.

"I'm sure you'll survive," he responded and then made his way out.

* * *

"I…how?," Benton stumbled. "I love you so much," he managed to choke out slowly. "I love you. I never stopped. I… sweetheart please don't cry."

"I'm just so happy to see you and overwhelmed," she cried, pulling herself closer to her husband. They were in the middle of the floor leaning up against Benton's desk and completely wrapped up in each other. "It doesn't feel real…and I'm afraid it will go away and I'm so angry about the time I missed with you and Jonny."

"I'm so sorry… I had no idea, but I should have known. I still felt you, but I thought…"

"Don't," she interrupted. "There's no way you could have known. Believe me…that bastard thought of everything…please know that I would have contacted you in a heartbeat if I could have. He made it… impossible…" she choked on her words.

"How can you not blame me?" he asked with a disconnected tone. "He did this because of me."

"He did it because he's a sick individual, Benton. I have no illusions about us just picking up where we left off like this didn't happen, but I don't want to waste any more time either," she begged. "It won't be easy, but please tell me that you won't shut down on me? Tell me we can get through our anger and guilt and build a new life together? I know that's a lot to ask…"

"It's not," he interrupted quickly. "I want that more than anything…but I'll need to know everything," he warned her. "I can't move on without the whole truth. Things left unsaid would eat me alive."

"I know," she sighed. "Later… should we head back out there?"

"Not yet," he whispered into her hair and that was all she needed to hear.

"I know that I'm biased…but our son is perfect," she whispered back, hoping to lighten the mood for a bit. "You did an amazing job with him."

"I agree, but I had A LOT of help," Benton admitted. "I couldn't have done it without Race. He was a godsend and Jonny looks up to him so much."

"I can't wait to get to know both of the Bannons better…especially Jessie. He loves her," Rachael smiled. "That is so good to see."

* * *

"Jessie," her mother sighed with defeat in her voice. "Please sit with me. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to make you understand."

"I'm aware of your thoughts on my personal life," Jessie rolled her eyes, but took a seat next to her mother. "Please understand that there is NOTHING you can say that will change my mind. He is the one and I'm not too young to know that."

"I understand that's the way you feel right now," her mother started slowly. "…I only want to make sure that you give yourself room to grow without him too. Love is the most amazing feeling in the world, but it doesn't stop life. Please be careful about making him your first thought every time you make a decision. Don't give up any of your dreams for him."

"You don't get it," Jessie sniffed. "He would never expect that of me and if he even suggested it he knows exactly how much hell he'd catch."

"I don't want the two of you living together up in Boston," she jumped in. "Your primary focus needs to be school."

"We have lived together our whole lives and my primary focus has always been school," Jessie defended. "You need to trust me to take care of myself. You need to trust him too," she added quietly. "… he takes good care of me. He always puts me first… annoyingly so even."

"I really don't doubt that he cares about you," she admitted. "I know some of the things I've said may have indicated otherwise, but I do know that he cares."

"Can we just end the conversation there?" Jessie smiled. "…because I can live with that."

"I still don't think he's the best option…"

"MOM…of course you can't end it on a good note."

"I don't want my feelings on the topic misunderstood," she breathed. "I don't think he would ever hurt you on purpose. I truly don't."

"He wouldn't…"

"…but I still think you will end up hurt as a result of this relationship."

"He's worth the risk. PERIOD."

"Jessie…"

"The conversation is over," she jumped up. "It's over, Mom. We are not discussing this again. If you bring it up, I am just going to walk away because I refuse to waste time arguing when I already know neither of us will change our minds."

"Fine," Estella conceded. "It's your life."

"It is," she breathed, but knew her mother well enough. "Don't say anything evil to him while you are here either," she warned. "I'm gonna go find Jonny."

* * *

"Do you think it's enough?" Jonny asked Jade. He was worried that if Jade could get past IRIS than Grobin could figure out a way too.

"I think you have outdone yourself," she smiled.

"You got past my last upgrade in minutes," he shot back. "Is there anything else I should be doing? Please…I need to keep them safe."

"There is no safer place," Race piped in. "Jade breaks the codes so easily because she knows too much about the system…my oversight," he added bitingly.

"He's right," Jade cleared her throat uncomfortably. "This is the safest place for you to be. You guys have more security than the goddamn President."

"I know," Jonny hedged nervously. "Is it too obvious staying here though? Would we be safer in hiding?"

"We can't hide forever," Race interrupted. "We need to draw him out and end this so that everyone can move on. We can't live like hermits. Run one more system check," he ordered as he pulled out this phone. "I will have this place crawling with men from every agency by the morning. If this guy is half as bad as you make him sound…"

"He's worse…" Jade cautioned and Race stiffened noticeably.

"…then he will be on everyone's watch list," he finished angrily and walked away to start making calls.

"Shit," Jade sighed. "I actually don't think I'm safer here kid. I will be heading out tonight," she gave him the heads up.

"No…come on. I can't be worrying about you too," he replied quickly. "This is the safest place. You just said so yourself."

"It is the safest place for your family," she said patiently. "However, between Race's temper and all of the official agencies – both domestic and international- that will no doubt be joining us tomorrow. I need to be on my way. I may be on a few of those watch lists myself. Besides, I don't want to be here when Grobin does make his way back for a second look. As far as I know, he is unaware of my involvement with your family and I'd like to keep it that way. I can't afford the liability."

"Aww… is that your backwards way of admitting that you care."

"Shut the fuck up," she deflected. "You know I care about you…I just care about me more," she added with a flourish.

"Truer words," Race interjected bitterly.

"Race…" Jonny tried to cut in.

"Don't defend her," he yelled. "DON'T."

"Quick call," Jade tried to change the subject.

"Yeah…it doesn't take long to get people motivated when you have a line on an international FUCKING arms dealer."

"No. He deals in high-end art," Jade corrected. "… which is how I got connected to him in the first place. You know I don't get involved with that shit."

"Well," he laughed without humor. "You're obviously losing a step if you missed that and I obviously don't know you as well as I thought. Taking them into a hot zone like that without having all the facts. What were you thinking? What was this really about? What was in it for you, huh? What was worth RISKING THEIR LIVES?"

"It's my fault that Jess was there," Jonny jumped in to give Jade a chance to recover from Race's verbal assault. "I was being a selfish… and insecure asshole. I should've NEVER involved her. I didn't want to…I just... needed… and I literally sprung it on Jade with no notice. I understand why you're so angry. I'm just as mad at myself. I should've never told her what was going on and I swear it will never happen again. I'm the one that allowed her safety to be risked…"

"Do you honestly believe that YOUR safety is any less important to me?" he turned on the young man. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"I'm sorry," Jonny whispered and took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact. He knew that he needed to man up and work things out with Race. He wanted to so badly, but his body would not cooperate with his head. He had to grab the desk he was leaning against a moment later when he began to feel dizzy and unsteady. "I don't deserve …" he said with detachment and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He felt Race's strong arms reach out to hold him up then and an odd sense of déjà vu quickly swept through his body as he was guided to the ground. He kept trying to grab for his chest. He wanted to rub it and make the pain go away, but Race's grip would not allow it. "Hurts," he choked out.

"I know. Stop fighting me and take a deep breath," Race ordered.

"Jonny!"

"Sweetheart, he's just having a panic attack," Race informed his daughter as she came rushing to Jonny's side. "He'll be fine as soon as he starts taking some deep breaths."

"Baby, stop struggling. Just listen to the sound of my voice and try to inhale through your nose." He calmed down visibly and stopped thrashing when she placed one hand on his neck and the other on his chest. His breathing was still erratic, however, and his eyes were unfocused.

"Do me a favor and think about that time me, you and Hadj took the Questor for a little joy ride," she said with a smile in her voice. "Remember when we got far enough out that the water was ridiculously calm? We engaged the auto pilot and just hung out on the deck all afternoon staring out at the horizon. It was so peaceful. I don't think any of us said a word for about three hours, which is admittedly very unusual for you and me. I wanted to stay out there and watch the sunset so bad like some corny romantic movie, but you and Hadj were having none of it," she laughed and then ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes and his breathing evened out a little. "We should do that again this summer. It's been too long."

"I think…"

"Don't try to talk," she interrupted. "Please relax and let someone take care of you for once. I'm sure some sleep would be the best thing for you. I know you must be hungry, but why don't you try to catch a few hours and then we can have a late dinner? If you do that, I think you will have almost slept a full eight hours in the last twenty-four like a normal person…" she trailed off and then got him to his feet with the help of her father. A long ten minutes later, his breathing had calmed enough that she felt confident they could move him without another episode.

"Jade, can you please help me get him back to the house so my dad can finish out here?"

"I don't need a fucking babysitter," he yelled, pulling away from Jess and heading quickly to the exit. "I just need some food and a Tylenol," he mumbled.

"So goddamn stubborn," she yelled after him.

"I'll follow him and make sure he doesn't fall over and smack his head," Jade offered, looking for the excuse to leave Race's presence anyway.

"So how mad are you?" Jessie hedged once she was alone with her father.

"I have never been angrier with you two…"

"…not even the time we took your Porsche for a test drive?" she tried to lighten the mood.

She knew it was bad when he didn't even respond to that. "Well…let me have it then," she sighed.

"What's the point?" he asked with defeat.

"Dad…"

"I don't know what you want me to say, sweetheart. Am I angry? Yes. Am I disappointed? Completely… but I know there is nothing I can say to stop you from doing it again. I know you would run straight into the pits of hell if he ran in first. I just hope you're smart enough to let me help next time."

"I'm sorry. We were afraid you would tell Dr. Quest…"

"YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE RUNNING INTO," he screamed. "I know you didn't because Jade didn't even know Grobin's full history. What you did was unbelievably stupid."

"So you have never gone into a dangerous situation without knowing every available fact?" she accused.

"We're not making this about me," he grimaced. "You are not a trained operative."

"We can take care of ourselves," she sighed. "You have made sure of that."

"The things I taught you were never meant for this. You have no idea how dangerous this man is…"

"He had Jonny's mother," she interrupted. "His mom…that's all I needed to know. The ONLY reason Jonny let me come is because he knew I would tell you if he didn't. I basically blackmailed him… and the ONLY reason he didn't tell you himself was to protect his father. He remembers how bad his dad got. He knows you shielded him from the worst of it, but he still knew," Jessie breathed. "…and…I know this is too much to ask, but PLEASE…please give him a break. He has been running on pure adrenaline for days and he has had himself so twisted up worrying about protecting his dad, keeping his mom safe, keeping me safe and comfortable enough with the situation that I wouldn't rat him out and on top of all that he is petrified at the idea of disappointing YOU or that you won't ever look at him the same way again," she sighed, feeling her heart speed up at the thought of not being able to protect his feelings. She wanted to protect him from everything even though he would hate it. The thought that she would not be able to made her heart clench.

"You have to give me more than a few minutes to not be pissed off," he snapped.

"I know. I'm sorry, but before you yell at him, he needs to either sleep for a solid twelve hours or breakdown completely. Can you promise me that at least? Otherwise, he is going to have another panic attack or he is going to lash out defensively and say something that he doesn't mean because he is running on empty. I don't want the two of you saying things that you can't take back when you don't even mean them. Please daddy?" she begged.

"That's not fair," he sighed. She knew how it melted his heart when she called him 'daddy.'

"I'm willing to pull out all the stops. I know he was wrong and I know I was wrong to go along with it, but I still can't sit back and watch him get hurt if I can help it."

"He's lucky to have you," Race mumbled, feeling momentarily jealous for no longer being the most important man in his daughter's life and because he has never had a woman fight for him like that.

"I'm the lucky one," she said quietly, but so sincerely that it caused him to turn and look at her…really look at her for the first time in a long time. She was not a little girl any longer. "I love him, dad. It's not temporary. Mom doesn't get it, but I hope you still do or will because I really don't want to be fighting you both on this. I really am the lucky one."

"Come here," he relented and then she ran into his arms. "Thank god you're ok," he whispered into her hair. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

"You taught me to take care of myself," she whispered into his chest again. "You have to trust that I can do that… and I promise not to jump into it on purpose like that again," she added quickly.

"I'm confident that's not true," he sighed, pulling her closer. "You're a goddamn magnet for trouble."

"I have you and Jonny though," she mumbled. "Trouble would be stupid to find me with you two overprotective control freaks watching my every move."

That caused him to chuckle a little. "I'm still pissed off," he clarified.

"Yeah...I figured," she smiled, but had a feeling everything would be alright. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Kid…wait up," Jade yelled after Jonny.

Jonny paused and waited for her to catch up. He felt like shit in every way possible, but didn't want to take it out on Jade. "I'm sorry about the way Race let loose on you," he apologized. "I know you didn't sign up for this."

"I made my choice," she shook him off. "…and I knew what the consequences would be. I wanted to help you anyway."

"Why?" he asked. "I mean I know this all started because you care about Race, but it took on another life. You could have cut and run. I never would have sold you out to Race."

"I know you wouldn't have," she smiled. "Maybe I just wanted some good karma. I haven't exactly lived my life by the letter of the law." She continued when he just gave her a skeptical look. "You remind me of someone I used to know."

"Who?" he was curious.

"My little brother," she cleared her throat.

"I didn't know you had family," he smiled. "I'm sorry…I guess I was always caught up in my own drama."

"I don't talk about him," she interrupted. "He died when he was your age," and she held up her hand to avoid the sympathies she knew he wanted to offer. "It was a long time ago. Anyway…he was such a good person…a man before most men reach that level of maturity. Like I said…reminds me a lot of you."

"Thank you," he replied, knowing anything else would make her uncomfortable. "Reconsider staying?" he asked, but already knew the answer.

"I will catch some rest before I leave," she promised. "I'd be in your debt if you'd find me some chocolate though," she added quickly. "I'm starving."

"Let's raid Mrs. Evans' stash," he smiled as they headed toward the kitchen.

"Is there any way you could do me a favor…"

"Anything," he interrupted. "…within reason of course."

"Give yourself a break?" she requested. "You can't be all things to all people."

"Sage advice," he sighed, knowing she was right, but also having no idea how to turn it off. He kept trying to tell himself that focusing on Jess was the best thing he could do. At the end of the day, she was the one that he needed to take care of…because he needed to…not because she needed it. His father could take care of his mother and Race could take care of everything else. He wanted his parents together and happy. He wanted Race and Estella to accept his relationship with their daughter, but the only thing he needed was her. He needed to make sure their relationship was his priority. He would do his best to take Jade's advice.

"Oh…get a room," he laughed, walking into the kitchen where his parents were kissing. "These kids just grow up so fast," he quipped.

"We were looking for you," his mother grinned, discreetly wiping at her lips.

"In each other's mouths?" he teased, throwing an arm over her shoulders.

"Son, I'm sorry if I…"

"Pop," he interrupted. "Not necessary. It's just good to see you smile."

Then the family embraced again, but this time there were only smiles and no tears.

Race and Jessie walked in on the exchange and paused at the sight. The smile it brought to Race's face was enough to dissipate some of the anger he felt. Jessie quickly walked into the room and dug into the cookies Mrs. Evans had laid out, but Race hung back and was happy just to observe.

He saw that Jade was fast to leave the room and avoid his glare, while Benton's eyes followed his wife's every move as she doted over Jonny. Benton had a smile on his face like Race had never seen before.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Rachael insisted with worry in her voice and lifted a hand to Jonny's head. "You're too warm and why are you so wet."

"Mom…I'm fine," he insisted, pushing her away with care.

"You look terrible, sweetheart."

"Yeah… that's the consensus," he sighed, giving Jess an apologetic look across the kitchen island. Then he made his way to the stool next to her and grabbed a cookie too. "I'm sorry that I snapped at you," he whispered, nudging her shoulder playfully.

"It's ok," she breathed.

"No," he interrupted, shaking his head. "… it's not… and I'm sorry," he finished sincerely.

"I'll forgive you in time," she teased, looping an arm through his and leaning her head on his shoulder as he ate another cookie. "Hotshot, you really smell bad," she mumbled, but made no move to detach herself.

"Thanks," he laughed.

"Why don't I keep the food warm and you can all have dinner together in a few hours," Mrs. Evans suggested.

"That is a great idea," Race agreed. It was clear to him that Benton needed some long awaited and well deserved alone time with his wife and Race needed to have it out with Jade before she slinked out of the Compound. "Let's meet back here in two hours. Everyone rest up and then we can talk this all out," he announced and then headed in the direction Jade had gone.

**AN: I actually have about 20 more pages to this chapter (mostly of the adult variety to be honest...). Should have another small chapter on this site soon and then a longer one on adult site for those old enough and interested enough. Happy New Year!.**


End file.
